No Love ration, No round 3, and no 7 second hug

Yeah dude……it was bound to happen. I turn the corner and ..…..she is there. Its her. No question. I …….STOP and the world goes quiet …….. her back is to me and it takes me a moment. I start walking….silently……. up to her. Her blond mane spilling down her back……blue jeans……. painted to perfection. One foot….. dancing on her shopping cart. She is…….on the phone and I stop seamlessly behind her.
She turns in mid sentence…… her beautiful brown eyes swell and I see her breathe in deep and she smiles without control. Her conversation…….stops because she …isnt thinking. I smile down at her and we are both …..speechless.
The moment is perfect silence and I say nothing. She is stunning to view. Her eyes, instantly soft and longing ….. no effort between us…instant comfort…. she gazes…… and stutters on the phone.

The world comes crashing in …....and she laughs ……trying to compose herself.

I slowly back away and motion that its ok. My smile….. big and genuine says everything. Hers does too. Now I can’t take credit here.

Shot through the heart and you're to blame
Darlin' you give love a bad name

Relax . There wont be a round three. I kept the smile……. And walked away. Yeah dude….made ma point. Been played before. You only get ONE shot at that. Ya know? Its not all about good looks….besides shes……still taken. Yes I am a sooooper genius. I had a fellow coworker say a 7 second hug is the most effective (Maybe I shoulda tried that!).
The world of intimacy for a man is….different than that for a woman…. I need some schoolin on what women desire. But I’ll do my best to demystify some things if ah can……I cant say its ALL easy to hear…or that’s it’s the ONLY side of the coin….but I will say its JUST an opinion…….just like the earth is round is JUST an opinion.
Lemme say that sex isn’t the only dimension to a mans world……. But I gotsta tell ya…its UP there. If you THINK its not…….your wrong. Some men I am sure can have what they consider a satisfying relationship without intimacy.…but I just couldn’t live as an accountant. I’ll go so far as saying that’s unhealthy/abnormal. It’s the same whether your plumbing is indoor or outdoor.….if your intimacy level is UNABLE to budge from the trashcan… you only have a dysfunctional relationship (and even THAT’S questionable). Do NOT be shocked when the NOTHING you have….. falls apart. If you think you can…..just…. SLOWLY train him not need intimacy but every once in a while n “he seems ok with it”… your foolin ONLY yourself. ….I’m sorry that’s not what folks want to hear. Meh….I dunna care if that’s seems critical, shallow, short sighted, or judgmental….. but tell me your relationship is satisfying without it and I’ll call you a liar. Either unwilling or unable to self evaluate the pleasure your missing. It may be my opinion…… but its YOUR loss. Yeah dude another blanket statement from a sooooper genius.

Fan…....tastic.

Isnt life tough enough as it is? Hahaha …..wait……what?
I ACTUALLY had a partner ask me “how much time do you need?” …….Romance? FAIL. It made me sad…..she wanted to know how little time was required for me to be satisfied. I said “if that’s your perspective …. I wouldn’t worry about it. Find someone else to answer that for you”.
Gunna put the shoe on the other foot…….
What if I had said….”how little affection and caring do you need to consider this a relationship? Can you get by with just a teeny amount?”
If you are going to RATION the quality AND quantity of physical intimacy you offer your partner……what do you expect to get in return for your efforts in being the best roadblock to love EVER?????? Well?
Physical intimacy is communication for a man. If you cut that off….he will go elsewhere to communicate. If you think that’s an exaggeration….oh……..you already experienced that …huh?
"COME ON TREY!!!.....sex isn’t communication for a guy….thats silly”…….
Chuh
RRR….ight
How happy would you be if I cut off your communication and put a piece of duct tape over your mouth…. Oh you can take it off once every 5 days …when im not too tired…and don’t have a headache….for a couple of minutes. You gunna be satisfied with that or what?
you feelin me?
Gonna go a step further….what if youre not CONCIOUSLY being distant…its just that you don’t have the time (or energy) to find out what makes you OR your lover tick? That’s it?....Are you serious?......
That works about as well as me sayin “I don’t have the time, energy or money to take you to dinner or shopping ….an don’t even think about me givin you a hug or help clean up”….how you like me now?......In my book it makes no difference whether you run into the road or just lay down to get run over. The result is the same. Last time I heard….. laziness still gets an F. Congrats…...youve earned it. No effort……and youre reward is……. the sound of crickets dying. I double dog dare you to argue with me about this…if this isn’t so, we’ll just put it to the test. Cut your partner off n call me five years. Ahm willin ta bet youre reward will be the finest match.com has to offer.

ENOUGH TREY!!! I GOTS IT!! …ok….said ma piece.

Where was I?
Oh yeah…..
The tango is not solo. Stampeding cattle on the tracks of the love train is a two person deal. Peace. I confess…… Im guilty too.
Consider this…….selective hearing is only half the coin.. …selective speaking can be just as damaging…..ifn ya don’t ask any questions……..then WHY are you expecting any answers? Some doctors say “if you dont hear from me ….then everythings fine”. Chuh…..that philosophy worked really well for my marriage. “Honey….if you dont hear from me….. everythings fine”. Enter……Divorce.
I’m not much of a man unless I understand YOUR priorities…. And support you without question. I like bringing out the best in my lover. You better plan on doin the same cuz I wont take less. When I say “I get you” ….I want you to feel that connection that someone loves and cares…..if you have OTHER plans…. Keepa gittin it…


An angel's smile is what you sell
You promise me heaven then put me through hell


Bring it………..bring it only when your hearts ready. If your taken…..stop trying to bring it. I want you all to myself or not at all.
I DO want your head on my chest and for you to feel safe and secure when I pull you close. If you tell me youd rather watch CSI…..Ill pass..…theres enough dead bodies in here already. I STILL don’t want to be known as the undertaker of love. Lifes too short. Ya know?

The light switch, the rollercoaster, and the tasmanian devil

Oh dude …..Got the “snap”. ….again. My bad. The crackle and pop are typically right behind so …nothing unusual…. Im losing you already aren’t I?......
Ya know that first part of a relationship where your……..eyes brighten?….that fun playful time where its new and interesting. …bits o butterflies an all. It’s lookin promising ……and then………that light switch goes off. “KERPLINK”…..Your date does something that’s a deal breaker……nonnegotiable…..irreparable……finito. LOL I was wondering…… is this how it happens with ma bloggy girls? Instantaneous detachment?
Oh well….. nothing ventured nothing gained………hehehe In truth I need to celebrate the fact my radar was working well!.......... I have to admit I can’t do the fair weather thing. Ifn ya know what ah mean. If you run hot ….then cold……then hot….. I’ll run elsewhere. I’m not very good at averaging all that out to be…….lukewarm. Now I cant take credit here.

Rollercoaster of Love
say what?
Rollercoaster (oohh oohh oohh)...

Does …….ANTHING …….get any better than old school funk?........Even MC hammer had to remake Rick James……...be……atch. hahaha.. .…wait…....what?
Im……sorry…..when you roll hard, hitting the brakes just….give me emotional whiplash.….. all these….bells, whistles and flags go up. Like some contraption on Willy Wonka in high gear.....jaw dropping, sensory overload disbelief. Sorry. I feel like I must be more trigger happy than the average bear. But when protection mode punches ma gut…. Im afraid there’s NO recovery. Prospective lovins? FAIL.
where was I?

Oh yeah…..

Its not always bout me. By that I mean …. I assume the other person has a bit o “been let down” too. So its VERY possible I said the wrong thing or pushed a button the wrong way. Gotsta keep that in mind. Ya know?
I have had a few brushes with what I call the “Taz”. As in “shes plumb eat up with the Taz”. I know things are tough these days. Work, bills, reality tv gone wrong, bills, family and bills. But I get a glazed stare when I have a date……. suddenly….without warning……turn into the tazmanian devil for 45 seconds then reappear with no memory of the event. Blink…….Blink.

Rollercoaster of love indeed.

I guess I was thinking of a different kind of love rollercoaster. My bad.
My exwife actually said to me “men like bitches”.

Y……..eah.

RRR…….ight

Er…….not THIS man. Hence the divorce. If that was her goal she certainly succeeded.
The best relationships in my world were effortless. No Mrs Jeckyl no Ms.Hyde. Men manifest depression through anger. Did ya know that? I remember being down in my own marriage and being short fused a lot…..which did NOTHING to help matters. I think women can easily misunderstand that. When youre being yelled at you don’t normally think of depression as the cause. You don’t really give a $&|^ . You just want it to stop. I always liked to say I worked on the marriage. The exwife worked on getting out of it. LOL ……she won.
Im not sure what it means when a WOMAN keeps her gun loaded AND cocked. I have met a few who went off the deep end..….quick. In my world that’s the warning sign that’s something MORE is wrong than meets the eye.
I’m not sure what other guys do when Taz takes over. Maybe Im not being understanding enough…..but ma gut tells me there are more issues beneath the iceberg that I get to see and so I slowly back peddle out of the room with a strained grin on ma face and turn on the vacancy sign again.
I SERIOUSLY do NOT mean this to be an episode of the “he man woman haters club”…I jes wanna know….. whats up with that? Not ALL girls are this way …..just a few.
I guess the harsh truth that love is fragile is…..more common than anyone wants to admit. It’s a shame that something good can fall apart with some poorly chosen words. Mixed with unbendable pride and here cometh the fall. I don’t like the thought of disposable love. So I have some work to do at home cuz I wanna be ready. Boy I LOVE seein a couple that’s tight …that just…..makes me smile..….yeah dude……. cool. One thing is fo sho, bad seeds don’t grow love. If you got issues don’t expect the love train anytime soon. Same goes for your partner. If theyre life is a DMZ Im not sure I would expect anything other than a sales pitch and a mask. Ever had that?
Happy folks make happy relationships. Since ya cant change people, ma best bet is to make sure IM ready when the time comes.
Seriously dude. If everything ELSE is a priority then …….. Mr wonderful is going to be hard pressed to drop out of the sky an straighten up chaos. I’m sorry that’s not what folks want to hear. And the reverse is true too. When things are a mess for me …….the love train jes keeps ona movin.

All is fair 'n' a big fair ground
Let's go slow, let's go fast
Like a liqorice twist gonna whip your ass

Bring it………bring that outa control feeling that makes your heart feela jittery and sweet…..big smile….sorry I know some of ya will gag on that but……why would you want anything else? I still love rollercoasters………whos with me?

Potluck love leftovers, a purple duck, and the love horse

Yeah dude…been ruminating over things I’ve heard in the last few weeks….on the menu??......... it’s potluck love leftovers. I read where women on average think the perfect number of lifetime partners for a guy is…………5. Thas a bit…spartan I think given that ahma ole man. Realistically I think that numbers gunna be a shake higher.

I wonder, wonder who, bi du du, who
Who wrote the book of love?

Im far less concerned with who wrote the thing. I really just want ma own copy.
I’m willing to bet the most recent edition has fewer and fewer rules. (I jes might have that backwards). As time goes on……...the rules seem to get cloudy and finding love feels more like prospecting for gold……… in Iowa. Ya know? That’s why I always go back to 8th grade love because the rules seem much easier to understand……….maybe I jes need ta give up that idea and deal with the here and now instead.
Lemme say I can be wrong ……a fair bit. But rarely do I think im confused or hesitant to make a decision. Makes little sense to waffle on pulling the trigger. Yeah dude…the quick and the dead. I don’t want to be caught saying “boy…....the things you see when you haven’t got your gun”.
But lately I feel like Mr. Douglas on green acres. He’s the ONLY sane one in hooterville….(love the name). Everyone else is a few fries short of a happy meal. But he’s the one who looks out of place. …ranting and raving with no connection to anyone else……but he’s NORMAL!!!!… Kinda like the house that’s too cheap….or too expensive for the market to move. Findin a buyer is…….not easy. I feel like im huntin a purple duck.
Where was I?
Oh yeah…
I had an older woman once tell me sex was easy to find and love was much harder. LOL yeah dude…tha rules for sex are much easier to unnastan than all the smoke and mirrors you have to navigate to cultivate love.
I had a buddy tell me that when he showed up at a girls door……. she was the only person who knew whether they were going to have sex that night……and based on what he was wearing….all he could tell you is ….where they were going to eat for dinner.
Ifn ya think about it, maybe the rules for love have always been the same. It’s the shifting sand of culture and social standards that change. I think everyone has heard this…..”The reason people don’t stay married anymore is…..…Wa schumi la pasubi kaka” . Yeah ….blame it on everyones lack of hanging in there when the going gets tough. Uh ….Chello? The world is 30 times tougher now than it was for Laura Ingles. Dump her in downtown Chicago an lessee how she fares in finding a successful marriage. My take on it is …..people in the past HAD to withstand the abuse of a bad relationship because they COULDN’T do anything else. Yeah…that was good plan. He beats me everyday while he’s drunk and unemployed but…..were still married! Yipppey! …….Marriage? FAIL.
Ahm gunna demystify something here. Marriage is a social convention. Love is not. Problem is……people tend to confuse the two. The goal SHOULD be …..love. Marriage is a verbal contract. ……….and Men I think fail to read the fine print…..myself included…..
Ever been lied to?......Meh…not the best plan to keep a relationship happy. Makes no difference whether you made that promise in front of your God or not. People have been breaking covenants with him for over 2000 years. Sorry. Not what you wanted to hear….I know. But think about it. The concept of marriage is not ironclad. If “till death do us part” were actually enforced…lets face it..…you wouldn’t be readin ma blog right now.….Marriage takes on lots a notions. There are places where men have multiple wives…. 60 year old men marry 15 year old brides……Even having a woman on the side is socially accepted….or even between folks of the same sex. Are you really pursuing marriage……or love? Cause the two aren’t the same. Hehehe nowadays?...... Both are hard to get sho nuff….but even HARDER to KEEP.
I heard a comedian say “went out with this girl…. On the first date she told me she wanted a serious relationship……. Y…..eah …that’s what I want….. a SERIOUS relationship. Lets make it serious. Leave the fun to someone else.” LOL. When was the last time you went lookin for a man with a heavy heart?......chuh ….right. I want your heart to be light. I don’t want you thinking about the car insurance when I put my hand on the back of your neck and kiss you deeply.
Lemme say I don’t screen a woman for marriage. I SEE if we can fall in love. The marriage cart can’t come before the love horse. That’s crash city guaranteed. Yes I am a sooooper genius. Hey don’t laugh ……if this is such common sense stuff you would think love would be readily available to EVERYONE.
I had a girlfriend tell me “once its over ..its over”. I am JUST old enough to FINALLY understand that you can’t destroy love. The relationship may not survive. But love does. Man…that ……just…..fills me up. Ya know? I had a girlfriend once tell me after we broke up that “ I was very angry with you …but I never stopped loving you.” Too bad we can’t all see it that way. It might make things a bit different.

Chapter One says to love her
You love her with all your heart
Chapter Two, you tell her
You're never never never never ever gonna part
In Chapter Three remember
The meaning of romance
In Chapter Four you break up
But you give her just one more chance

Bring it…..…bring some love. I’ve had my fair share of failed relationships …..(you too??) …….but I still try to keep ma heart open. The modern world is full of bills, schedules, bills, car wrecks, fake reality TV and bills. Love doesn’t fit very well in the cracks. That’s not much of a plan for success. Happy people make happy relationships. ….big smile…..How far do you think you’ll get in a relationship if I CAN’T get to your heart? I don’t always succeed but Im workin to keep ma heart light…..I don’t think you would want me any other way……..so I cant wait to finish 7th grade!!!!! Whatcha doin for the summer?

A pillowfight, houses in love town, and the birds and the bees

Yeah dude….I……….am a contact lover. If I can get you close to me I want your head in my lap where I can stroke your hair or rub your ear slowly. I will frown openly if you tell me NOT to touch your feet. For me its stress relief and the comfort of building that brick house in love town….. together……I rub you …..you rub me. Lately Ive kinda been havin ta rub maself. Being in the self service isle leaves few options. Hehehe yeah dude ….spending a lot of time in the gym you tend to read articles on how to increase your testosterone levels. Every grid dawg is taking some combination of hormone releaser, prohormone, estrogen crusher and test booster………the latest thing? ……blush……old school……….porn. Now I can’t take credit here.

Feel the heat,
pushing you to decide
Feel the heat,
burning you up,
ready or not
Some like it hot
and some sweat
When the heat is on

Playing football demands a bit of………channeled aggression…..lemme jes put it thata way. Yes….I am a sooooper genius. Sho nuff. But I have a feeling most men (whatever their profession) have similar shortcomings when it comes to being a good lover. If ya think about it……that’s certainly something you have to learn on ya own. You can’t get valuable instruction from your parents growing up on the “how to’s” …thank goodness……just that you ARENT supposed to do it until……….your a mature bird or bee. Yeah dude did I EVER get any instruction as a boy NOT to have sex? …….The serious answer is…..no. My mom apparently got a book from the library regarding the subject and lemme tell ya…as a second grader I was NOT prepared for such a discussion. I dont remember what was said cause I probably blacked out or something when i saw the pictures...... Page 1 "The man sticks his dilly hoo into her cha cha and out comes his hot man chowder".....or something along those lines.....My mom tells me we were both laughing hysterically by the second page. We didn’t finish the book.
At NO point in time was I told to wait for marriage …….or use protection….or ANYTHING of the sort. Instruction?......FAIL. Luckily I………..waited till I was 18. So no regrets there.
Where was I?
Oh yeah….
As a guy …….I don’t think we’re given much in the way of a roadmap or blueprint on what a woman wants. Inside or outside the bedroom. I think women give some thought to what makes a mans switch flip …..which is great!...... but also sad because men are inadequate to return the favor unless they work at it. I admit it. I need your help! I made a D in mind reading 101……
Of course this doesn’t excuse idiocy on ma part. The model most men get revolves around the philosophy “if it moves hit it…if it breathes kill it”. That’s how we solve problems. Forcing the nut, throwing harder, elbow grease, spit, and yelling louder than the next guy are all acceptable ways of handling things…..if you’re a man.. (unless you’re an accountant…..in which case I have NO idea what your role model for love was).
Problem is……….those same communication tools (or lack of) we use from 9 to 5 don’t really condition us for romance when we get home. Even though you lay bricks all day….You cant take a brick to a pillowfight.
Personally I like a lot of balance when Im in love. Until I hit the bedroom. Then I want to be assertive and in control. Ifn ya deny me that then………we gots problems. I must be doin sumpin wrong if you won’t let me enjoy you. I rather like a sirens submission and if Im doing my part right then……theres no resistance when I wind you up, hold you down…… and push your body to tighten for that moment where you ……cant speak and ……cant breathe.

Some like it hot
but you can't tell how hot
Till you try
Some like it hot
so let's turn up the heat
Till we fry

Bring it……….bring some heat. All this snow has got me yearnin for some summa weatha! Hey I like snow but this cold spell is wearin on me! I don’t know what’s worse …….having no skills or having skills and no one to share them with!!! But make no mistake….sharin something you cant get anywhere else makes it worth the hunt……..and the wait. Yeah dude…..Nothin like building a new house in love town.

Return to the tricky fish, the last southern comfort, and the crash

Gunna letcha know ahead o time. This post is by far the weakest thing EVER. Been very busy so ahm just having random thoughts and i can only hope I make more sense next week.
Been kinda quiet about semipro football lately. Ive been training like a man possessed…. but keeping a low profile. Mad skills in progress during the off season. Yeah dude….Nothing left to chance. I’m trying out for a different team this year. It’s a long story dude…….but I want a change and I’m up for it. Tryouts were last Saturday. I am sore. I was hoping to really impress but my times were off. So I did good……just not……...great. There were guys faster than me but that’s ok. Now I know what to work on….I have EVERYTHING else. I plan on blowin people up this year. Sorry……I know it’s too early to trash talk and to blow my own horn…Im just………boiling to play. Lemme say I like getting comments. Yes I am a sooper genius so a bit of recognition is good for my psyche. Ran into an old lifting buddy the other day. “Man, your big as a house”. ….big smile….

My experience with the Bruins was mixed last year…that’s a kind revue……SO I tried out for the Crash in huntington……..I JUST got word from the coach….I made the cut! YES! Its a bit of a drive …but it’ll be worth it!!!! Now I can’t take credit here.

I'm Gonna Make A Change,
For Once In My Life
It's Gonna Feel Real Good,
Gonna Make A Difference
Gonna Make It Right . . .

I haven’t been frequenting the local establishments lately. I still see people I DON’T know on the streets who ask when Im playin guitar again but I went out a few weeks ago and the SMOKE nearly killed me. I’ve been a little nervous about getting the chemistry right with the new team too. So I’ve been…….decompressing with the bottle.
Enough………. I had too much southern comfort, too much fun and too much looking my age the day after. Its affecting my ……performance………..on the field. So I’m going to go back to playing some guitar to relax. Found an old shoebox of at least a hundred original tunes I wrote. Time to put them on disc.
After tryouts I went to the tricky fish in Charleston again. Fosters on tap……60’s music …the place ….barren of patrons....perfect…… its kinda cool to go to a town you never go to, find a hole in the wall bar and just…………..unwind. Albeit alone. But I was thinking it would have been nice to share tryouts with someone special but I suppose the lack of company was good for focus before tryouts so its ok.
I was reading an article on what women want in a man…….no this NOT a joke. No I didn’t pick up a cosmo. Hehehe
Where was I?
Oh yeah….
I am supposed to be……..a quiet genius. Witty, strong, confident, a blue chip prospect who doesn’t sweat the small stuff. I’ll work on it. I think I just need to leave this town. Suggestions?
I got a buddy who keeps asking how to keep this girl he’s after interested. Should I call her? Heres what she texted….how do I respond? She said she would call at five..its five thirty do I call her?......she sent me this email…. what should I say? …....Jeesh……Confidence? …FAIL
I told him to show up and take a Hershey’s kiss out…. unwrap it and put it in her mouth and kiss her. He said “where did you get that?” whadya mean? “I mean where did you see that? If you got it from a movie then she may have seen it.” ……..small silence….I didn’t see it in a movie…………that’s all me. “Oh”…. Maybe you can give her MY number……..small smile


I'm Starting With The Man In
The Mirror
I'm Asking Him To Change
His Ways
And No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
Take A Look At Yourself, And
Then Make A Change

Bring it………..bring some change. No I don’t need bus fare ya silly! It makes me feel good to see folks who have a good thing goin. Cool……gunna have me some o that one day! Hehehe Im a bit jealous I admit it. I’ve been lucky to have some close encounters lately and Im grateful for that. But I’m still by the side of the road with my thumb out for the real deal neal. Tricky fish indeed………Im optimistic for times close ahead s’all I can say.