whatcha ona bout girl??

whatcha ona bout girl??
A retrospective on the inner workings of love, flying pancakes, mensa disasters, dandelion cookies, number bending, super salt, bubblegum oysters, chicken spit, crystal kidneys, guerilla carrots, polychromatic tofu, paraphysics, tender vigilanties, black sand, phillastine placebos, wood soup, buttered shuttlecocks, apostrophe training, fish whips, bleeding speed, plastic fantastic lobster telephones, venus drug rehab, clowns on fire, kiosks on a leash, marshmello overcoats, bottled light, fried blood, unbridled hyperthyroidism, folding wine, amygdula tickling, fainting in coils, hamburgers for the apocalypse, plastic memes, and conjugal fritters.....well...the love parts true

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

The fickle mistress, video game love and the romance king

Yeah dude….spring is soooo close. So Im out…….. pushin the prowler and draggin the sled. Gotta new titan fury bench shirt which is rockin. My eye right now is on the April State championship which is coming none too soon cause I still have some room to put on weight for the meet but am anxious to lose it for football (and the summer….my blood pressure is running high). Gotta a new neck roll to put on my pads and someone stole my forearm guards last year so I gotsta get some new ones. Patience dawg ………all in good time.

You must remember this
A kiss is still a kiss
A sigh is just a sigh

As time goes by indeed. Small smile…..Lemme say right now ahm in a good place so…..on to other things…..

Had a liftin buddy tell me he was at this bar, started talking to a girl and they hung together all night …great conversation…they got along really well….at the end of the night he asked her out and she said


He asked why and she said “your nice, good looking, got a good job, and love your mother…….theres nothing for me to fix.”


Did I mention I have lots of……emotional….I mean ….drug problems??????....I know you’re not believin that so ………please feel free to pick some social disorder that makes me endearing. Trey Logan….you…are a soooooper genius.

Hehehe. But make no mistake……..

Easy goin ……I am

Easy……Im not.

Had just one more instance of almost getting punked by a fickle mistress. What is it with young girls these days??? I put the kibosh on the whole thing when I flatly told her “I wasn’t built to go along with all this “gimme attention, let me show all my friends how easy and desperate this guy is for me, watch me not really care……. then disappear and prove I can get lots of attention to feed my ego and not really have to work for it” ……thing……. that’s apparently sweeping the nation.”

Hehe she got the picture.

I think all this sexting n what not that girls do is the cowards way of pretending to have a relationship…because they cant in the real world. Does that make sense? Its safe to text…you cant get hurt that way……..uh…hello? You cant even have a relationship that way.

As a sidebar: I realize Im not the brightest guy….but I have run into too many women that get willy dilly wing nut pictures sent from guys camera phones. For the life of me I cant see how this is anything but stoopid in a “your dumb” kinda way. It may even certify you as a moron.

How does this work exactly???? Im with the guys at the bar….the good looking blond walks by. My buddy says he has her phone number and…..

“Ive got it! I got a great idea!! Im going to go in the bathroom, TAKE A PICTURE OF MY DICK………and send it to her!”

“Dude…you?..... are the undisputed romance king of the entire world.

This is going to be my relationship advice for guys from now on. “Trey, man I really like this girl and….”

“Stop right there. I know exactly what to do. Just…..trust me on this. Go in the bathroom, TAKE A PICTURE OF YOUR DICK and send it to her…. You don’t have to put a caption in but maybe something sweet like “I was thinking of you …and heres the proof”.

It shows her that you respect her. That you cherish her, that she’s wonderful and you love her so much that you want to………. send her a picture of your dick. Yeah…Im sure that’s what shes thinkin. I can hear her friends now.

“Awwww….. he really respects you and cherishes you, thinks your wonderful and loves you so much he ……….. sent you a picture of his dick.”

Think of it…….You can celebrate 60 happy years when on your wedding anniversary maybe he can send a picture of his 80 year old dick to remind you how lucky you are. Ah…….heaven.

Where was I ?

Oh yeah…..

If your courtship is all on your cell phone …you can keep your distance ….your independence. You don’t have to worry about falling in love….its more like a video game. Although for the life of me I cant see how its all that satisfying when you lay down to sleep and cuddle up to your phone.

And of course I’d appreciate it if youd stay the………. HELL away from me.

I would much rather hold your wrists and bite your ear so you can concentrate on grinding the way that makes you go BOOOM…..rather than type the words “U R hot”. Send……… When the time comes do you really want to text your BFF …..OMG the BF texted me “will you marry me?”

Got a text the other day from a girl……I could hardly contain my excitement. It said “are you fun” she didn’t even type the question mark. Needless to say I jumped all over that………

Texting just…..doesnt do it for me. Your walls stay up, your safe, everything’s intact because nobody can get through the walls you’ve built up if all you do is text. You hear that a lot from people. How proud they are of their independence.

“Im very independent”.


You just talked yourself out of a relationship.

That’s not how it works. I bet on you. You bet on me. No other deals can be made to get aboard the love train. I want your head on my chest in pure comfort……..not my cell phone.. When you get up I want that feeling to still be with you…..if you leave and take your independence with you….….keep going.

I may want to be a good partner but people seem to mistakenly think that translates that Im an easy catch…....wrong…… smile or not bad boys don’t kill easy……...and I HATE being underestimated……so yeah you kinda need you’re A game ….not your game……cause I’ve had my share of girls who thought you were privileged to be with them. Hehe. Enjoy…you can have em…….small smile. Contacted one of them just to say if she ever needed an ear she shouldn’t be afraid to call and I would listen. Not sayin that was the smartest thing Ive ever done. But I still have a soft spot for good memories.

The response?

No response.

Hehehehe No surprise.

Good deed? PASS. Big brains? FAIL.

Hehehehe s’all good……. I like doing something good….even without the prospect of a reward…….small smile.

The fundamental things apply
As time goes by

Bring it………..bring some old fashioned romance. It may be old school…..but I graduated baby!!