whatcha ona bout girl??

whatcha ona bout girl??
A retrospective on the inner workings of love, flying pancakes, mensa disasters, dandelion cookies, number bending, super salt, bubblegum oysters, chicken spit, crystal kidneys, guerilla carrots, polychromatic tofu, paraphysics, tender vigilanties, black sand, phillastine placebos, wood soup, buttered shuttlecocks, apostrophe training, fish whips, bleeding speed, plastic fantastic lobster telephones, venus drug rehab, clowns on fire, kiosks on a leash, marshmello overcoats, bottled light, fried blood, unbridled hyperthyroidism, folding wine, amygdula tickling, fainting in coils, hamburgers for the apocalypse, plastic memes, and conjugal fritters.....well...the love parts true

Friday, January 28, 2011

The hook up bus, winter lemonade, and the chrome sales department

Now is the winter of our discontent…… otherwise known as preseason. Sorry dude…Im being melodramatic. Other than the permanent blanket of snow up past my car door my winter is good. Small smile. Actually the snow doesn’t bug me at all. I just agree with everyone who says theyre sick of it. Yeah dude winter lemons make lemonade. Some Vodka, mostly grapefruit juice, a little lemonade, a dash of wink and Im good to go. Better still if you haven’t shared bourbon, hot tea and a cinnamon stick on a cold night ……please rethink your liquid menu. Now I can’t take credit here.

I am I am I said I'm not myself
But I'm not dead and I'm not for sale
Hold me closer, closer let me go
Let me be, just let me be

Trippin on a hole in a paper heart indeed. True that. Watch your step. Hehehe. Had a friend tell me he heard in a seminar that women want emotional security and financial security ……. Men want sex and praise. Ahm afraid I’ll have to buy that…..even if it is a blanket statement. Whatcha think?

I just read an article that outlined both young married and unmarried couples as not agreeing that they do or don’t have a monogamous commitment….or when they did have one ….they didn’t adhere to it.

Im not sure that’s a good sign for any of us looking for the love train.

I liked being in a committed relationship. If you discount my marriage. LOL Make no mistake Im all for marriage when it’s a good choice but I heard a comedian say the other day he just got engaged then looked up the definition which said “engage…..to confront the enemy”.

The love train doesn’t stop at every street corner……that’s the hook up bus…anybody can ride the hook up bus…..….you can have ALL the worthless hook ups you like. Hehehe

A hook up is ………..easy.

A relationship is……..hard.

But ah gotsta tell ya. Id rather have a relationship.

I have to admit I do like younger women….but Im finding out we don’t have the same ……..viewpoint when it comes to building a relationship……it seems that …….hovering close to solvency is preferred these days. I suppose theres nothing to lose when you don’t even gamble. Theres also nothing to gain. I read where younger folks only think of relationships as temporary anyway…because their roll models on tv break up all the time….as well as their parents…so they figure that’s the norm.

Im glad I don’t watch too much TV. Well…….except ……Jersey Shore.

Where was I?

Oh yeah….

A friend of mine was telling me about reading some theory called “in the meantime”. This is where women will pretend to be involved with some guy but never really open up because they believe “the imaginary prince charming they have in their head …….is down the road…………somewhere”. So theyre saving themselves.

BUT…..in the meantime……..

Is this kinda why girls stay with guys with sex addictions, drug and chronic lying problems????

Its safe because your not actually in love..…its ok hes a loser because….your just filling time. Because youre sure theres some guy you haven’t met that’s rich and humble, good looking, honest, funny, and never been married, that would give you anything you want and everything he had. LOL its kinda hard to win your heart when Im up against Aston Schwartzenegger Trump Banderas ……especially when he doesn’t even exist.

I do hate the thought of just….spinning my wheels in the wind……especially if it turns out its just entertainment for some girl with a sales plan…….. Interesting. I wonder if these same folks that spew and swallow the dating game understand its gonna SUUUUUCK in thirty years…..when theyre alone. I mean….your looks are nice……but what I really care about is whether you love me……cause I want to be there when everyone else is gone…….and I just might want you to fix us some biscuits in the morning and ill fix the popcorn at night when we cuddle for tv. To me that’s more important than say…….really being able to hold your own in a tequila drinking contest.

However……. I do loves me some tequila. Maybe theres a chance for both aye? But …..my mad drinking skills aren’t half as valuable as my desire to care for you when you need attention……..25 years from now.

Lemme say if Im going to do something I wanna freakin hit the ceiling with my kahones blazing. If theres anything left……..you can keep the change. Read that lately too. Women are willing to sacrifice first place for stability. Men………aren’t. We want that brass ring….. regardless of the cost. Seriously I think the best partner is one who knows how to get both …..and that means knowing when to push and when to give….. how else am I going to bring out your best????

Football training is …..right where it should be. I joined a second gym. They have other machines I NEED. SO……. my workouts are ramping up again. The state power lifting finals are in April and I have no doubt in busting the bench press record which has stood for 18 years. Problem is ……that’s right in the middle of preseason so……double duty it is. Trey Logan you…….. are a sooooper genius.

One thing I’ve noticed is guys really have to sell themselves …….LOL I need to work on that. Hehe. A word of warning. LOL Guys don’t actually have to be faithful. They just have to tell you they are. That lean cuisine doesn’t have to be 400 calories . It just has to say so …so youll buy it. The guy who fooled you into believing that probably got a six figure bonus for marketing…..and so it is with the love pool…He doesn’t really have to love you……. the chrome salesman just has to make you to THINK he does. As long as you believe him…..Cha ching……

Got a lifting buddy that’s dating this good looking girl. It’s a perfect match….. shes a gold digger and he cheats on her all the time. Hes a good lookin guy, makes good money …she thinks she can get him to part with it and…….hes smart enough not to let her have it. So….they fight….they make up…they fight…they make up. Both of them wearing their masks and both of them alone…...even when their together. Love? FAIL.

Like I say…..its best when its effortless.

If I have to jump up and down and squawk better than the guy next to me so you can figure out who’s the better catch………..I don’t think were combatable…..I mean compatible…… if you don’t know the difference between steak and ground chuck.

And I hate the thought that someone is selling me who they are…it makes my skin…….crawl…....just like I hate the prospect that I have to throw my soulmate a sales pitch…….better than the guy standing next to me.

Small laugh……..Like I said ….. stay the HELL away from me.

Hey I like a good hamburger …….don’t get me wrong. But why would I give my soul to someone who wants to play cards but doesn’t bring money to the craps table? Sorry dude…

In a word……no dice.

Sorry dude…just spankin it like it is. You got what you came for. You invested nothing. You got nothing. Hehehe enjoy.

In my world nothing beats pulling you close and snuggling up for sleep spooned together from head to foot….one hand around your tummy and the other in your hair. My lips on your neck just behind your ear.

Im sure you can get that from the guy with a sales pitch. But that chrome that catches your eye wont stroke your eyebrow when your sad……..trace your ear slowly…… or give you baby kisses to make you smile.

Chrome only covers the surface.

Small smile……..this is…..of course medicine for the medicine man. GUILTY. Chrome only shines when its bright…..you wouldn’t want a partner to bail just cause the lights go out do ya?..... When that happens I should be reaching out to bring you close to me…. If you cant hold onto me when that happens…....we gots work to do

Its nice to turn corners and the punkometer continues to pay for itself.

“I could give you my number….”

“no that’s ok…maybe we’ll see each other out somewhere”.

I got a confused look for sure…..as probably no one had ever turned her down when she OFFERED her phone number.

Don't cut out my paper heart
I ain't dying anyway

Bring it………bring me a smile. You can add it to mine. The love train may not be in town at the moment but being content and happy anyway is not a bad backup plan…… now is it?