Vincents pain, the voice, and the hammock repair store

Sorry to be away but thats how it is sometimes....you dont have a choice ........walang magagawa.  The blog will be changing again...I owe my kids alot..... so more of this space will be for them....  big smile
Now I cant take credit here.

For they could not love you
But still your love was true
And when no hope was left inside
On that starry, starry night
You took your life as lovers often do
But I could have told you, Vincent
This world was never meant
For one as beautiful as you 

Starry starry night indeed.   Big smile….. this one was over due for sure.  How perfect a tune.   Got anything better????    I digress….but whose gonna dispute this?  Hindi naranig kita…..  ikaw tanga totoo.  Bakit makipagtalo???  Ganoon? 

Sidebar:  I saw this great documentary on how Michael Jacksons friends and attorneys were aghast at how  badly the system  (and people) were mean spirited and money hungry to ruin him.  I can appreciate that …truly.  I hope my daughter reads this and watches it because …man …don’t laugh ……that’s me. Tie my hands, take my money, move me to a different state, brainwash my kids and then proclaim…  “See??  I told he was a bad father”.

Getting divorced was very hard on my daughter and me…..it wasn’t hard on my wife and me…….I was the only one in the marriage….  Hehehe I remember our dog once ate my hammock…I was furious …..my wifes response was “”just take it to the hammock repair store”.  

Blink ..blink……

Really??

…the ….hammock …..repair ….store?….. my exwife…….on her best day……. was a moron….

the dog destroyed many things….he ate the pool cover…..the swingset…he ate the deck……the $800 riding lawnmower…one day I was watching tv and then

Snow………

The tv went blank…I looked outside and the dog was dragging with pride….. 50 feet of cable…… as a playtoy.  He was a good dog though and it was sad when my wife had him put down (of course she told the daughter he just up and died).

Back to the world

Still happy in my skin….I am rethinking the difference between the love train and …the marriage train…its easy to confuse the two even though to say it out loud people always say they understand the difference.  Just like they say….  “oh not all women are the same….. im not like that”…..Im not so sure….Men and women just want different things……yes trey logan… you are a soooooper genius.   My wealth as a man is just how good I am at knowing what you want and need.

they say your heart grows bigger …after its trashed…in my case I know that’s so……..big smile.

I think there are two kinds of people……..those who watch the voice and those who know its not even worthy of being called shit and know that the folks who do watch it ….give morons a bad name.  So ill say it…..if you watch that crap you’re a moron…….…get a life.

I saw Kristen stewart on some talk show……I bet she watches the voice.

Been playin some guitar and singing again.  Fun as always but not playing around town.  I saw whats left of pearl jam…..with …..these……ridiculous hat/masks on……..they ……sucked.

I cant take credit here either….

I WHISPERED, 'I am too young,'
And then, 'I am old enough';
Wherefore I threw a penny
To find out if I might love.
'Go and love, go and love, young man,
If the lady be young and fair.'
Ah, penny, brown penny, brown penny,
I am looped in the loops of her hair.
O love is the crooked thing,
There is nobody wise enough
To find out all that is in it,
For he would be thinking of love
Till the stars had run away
And the shadows eaten the moon.
Ah, penny, brown penny, brown penny,
One cannot begin it too soon. 

Right now the love train is …….well….lets just say……on the tracks…hehehe I have a partner and she is proving to be surprising..…which is good.  I will say this…..its hand down………the BEST sex I have ever had in my life .  The second place award is so far behind….you cant even measure the distance.  There is no comparison between past lovers and this one. Its off the hook ….perfect, wild and intimate all at once.

Red light:  don’t count chickens

Green light: I don’t care!!!!!

For my daughter:  I take the blame for many things…admitting your mistakes is very important …but Its not my fault for being a bad dad if you refuse to be my daughter….just like its not my fault I got divorced…  I did everything within my power to fix our marriage…your mother just didn’t want it….eventually she won … I gave her what she wanted …a divorce.  That’s what happens when you shit on someone enough …they give up.  It wasn’t a choice….But the lesson is that it is a two way street…  I have no doubt I could have made my marriage work…if your mother had helped…...she  just didn’t want it and did everything she could to poison it and eventually she killed it on purpose…..  Im better for it….. you are not…you have to open to heal and if you don’t you will not ever feel ok.  And I know more about you than you will ever know.  Your pain…your anger…..your disappointment…..i was there too.

For my son:  I miss you buddy.  One day you discover the truth about things.

For you:  find a penny

For me: there is no reason to mourn loss if  you did all you could and know that looking to the future is much more comforting than agonizing over the past. 

know what you tried to say to me
And how you suffered for your sanity
And how you tried to set them free
They would not listen, they're not listening still
Perhaps they never will

Bring it…….   Bring good thoughts…….Everything starts somewhere…if you don’t start it ..…no one will hand it to you. That’s for sure………and that’s love.  I know how you feel Vincent.

POSTSCRIPT:  I hope my bloggy girls are doing ok…my blog is changing and I wont apologize or look back...but you knew that ....dincha?