Tropical boxes, The punkometer on hiatus, and Spartan sparks

Traversing the desert of companionship is of course little fun sans companion. The same is true of tropical paradise however beautiful it is here. The things that make life worth smiling is in the sharing. True that……. Yeah dude…. I know you know that but sometimes the obvious things in life get buried ….even on the beach. So it’s always good to remember what has value and…..what really is just ……press polish. Cuz the love train sells tickets ….only in pairs. Now I cant take credit here.

It's been such a long time I think I should be goin', yeah And time doesn't wait for me, it keeps on rollin' Sail on, on a distant highway I've got to keep on chasin' a dream I've gotta be on my way

Its been such a long time indeed. There is much to learn ….new land…….happy man. Ako ay masaya……tunay totoo. Yeah dude school is in. and you know how ah feel bout 8th grade love. That feeling that ….you just cant control….. that shy smile…just… ..pure comfort……making you weak with need is my goal….. ya know??........

Save the mask and spin for someone else……or Halloween if you prefer. Sorry ….I cant share in that….hehehe.

I have always said it is best when its effortless. That connection is …….sweet…… and all too spartan for my liking…….so when there is a spark I rather enjoy the thought of what fires it might bring….. and then of course theres heat. Small smile…….Think of it ….only when theres fire does it get hot. So yeah, I can bite your neck and hold you down …… if you don’t live in a box. Hehehe …….tasty.

Of course you have to lose that control in order to come outside. If you cant do that …well…….dont worry…life is long and there are plenty of opportunities for love…..di ba? Mali ka.

Fan…..tastic

When you have to control letting someone in…..the love train just …..keeps a rollin. The 8th grade checklist is ……well….its…….its…….kinduh……..not like calculus.

RED LIGHT let go of control....i didnt say it was easy....but i believe in it

GREEN LIGHT don’t you remember that feeling???? …cuz back then it was all about the FEELING. You couldn’t explain why….you just……liked someone a lot.

warm smiles open hearts….. True that dude.

It’s a shame ….that thought…. doesn’t survive graduation. Because I rather value someone who not only knows a spark when they see it but wants to share the heat of fire. When you get older……you wont find the love train if you lock your self in a box…….if you work hard to control letting someone in…..

And letting yourself……

Out

Is zat so??

So zat is…..

Living in a box isn’t really living….. Trey logan you…….are a soooooper genius. Walang quenta mahal ko.

Besides …… who remembers calculus?

SIDEBAR: I find that lately I don’t like eating alone……not one bit. Hehehe I think it goes back to sharing……sharing dinner is more than food……sharing a bed is more than sleep…

Where was I?

Oh yeah…..

The punkometer is on hiatus. I wouldn’t mind retiring it as it has been in high gear for quite some time and here…..it might just have outlived its usefulness. Relationships are different here. Is that smart? FAIL Am I worried? PASS

For you: Find that spark……. inside yourself. You deserve that.

For me: Takin my time…..paradise and the love train go together

Well I'm takin' my time, I'm just movin' along You'll forget about me after I've been gone And I take what I find, I don't want no more It's just outside of your front door.

Bring it….. bring that spark……My job is to open the door. I’ve taken quite a few hits so we are the same so I understand why tiwalla ang mahirap….and god I miss football…. But really you have to get up to play again. Naintindiihan ka?

Post script: I must confess I am happy. Which is a good thing even though my blogging suffers.

Postscript deux: Im not inclined usually to leave something unsavory as a part of my blog but believe me when I say I would rather die…….. than return. And I hate being underestimated. Let me be clear…… If you are pursuing my where abouts with any intent other than wanting to reestablish a valuable relationship……. I would advise you to leave me alone because I would do ANYTHING to stop you. I flirted with saying “permanent punishment” but that sounds a bit too poetic when I really mean that I would make it my personal goal to ruin your life.

Post script tatlo: some sparks are only that. Just a hint of connection to fade away…….no loss…...the love train moves on.

Low hanging fruit, puttin honey on the fire, and the limbo bar adjustment

I have ALWAYS had a fascination with water. Yeah dude ….I don’t think that’s unusual…...most folks love bein round it. Water has that affect…ya know??………soothing…..cleansing……..mystical. When I find my pinay…I know she will understand. Now I cant take credit here.

Catch a wave and you're sittin' on top of the world
Don't be afraid to try the greatest sport around Catch a wave, catch a wave Everybody tries it once Those who don't just have to put it down
You paddle out, turn around and raise And baby that's all there is to the coastline craze
You gotta catch a wave and you're sittin' on top of the world

Catch a wave indeed. Set the limbo bar low baby…Im done with low hanging fruit. The easy catch doesn’t mean the relationship is cake. Besides every relationship has its rough times…its how you get through them together that counts.
Im just waitin for my sit…as they say in surfing. The love train is rolling again and I can say with a smile that ahm happy. Ma skin fits me well and my pinay must have the same confidence, happy composure and inner peace as well. I say that because if she has a lot of troubling thoughts..she really isnt going to be much of a partner…the same goes for me and I admit…Im not very good at managing mental illness. I fashion myself as someone who works hard to make sure he is grounded and confident. I want the same in a partner. I realize I need to spend time under a microscope to make sure Im being the best I can be for my lover. For me that’s important. Cuz men are selfish by nature I think. But its not all about me..its about building something together...and that means being selfless.

Izat so?
So zat is.

Trey logan you ….are a soooooper genius. Im not sure being selfish is valuable when it comes to surfing the tidal waves of disfunction relationships can bring. One thing is sure…. If you want to catch a wave…you have to be patient……and chances are you will wipe out more than you will ride to shore on top of the world. And more importantly…..when you wipe out you have to get right back up on that board…… not swim to shore.

True that

I know things are hard…. There is disapointment…….. food prices, work troubles, dishonest friends…. but my value as a man means being someone you can lean on….everytime.
I heard where there are only three great loves in a mans life. Maybe. LOL I guess ahm savin the best for last. Hehehe.

Where was I???
Oh yeah

My last experience was one of infidelity. Am I discouraged? Not really. I just made a bad choice….but I learned from it fo sho. Goin to go back to my thought of "be desireless and give away kindness" I like what that does for my demeanor.

RED LIGHT: lemme say I hate the idea of not bein ready for the love train. I think folks want to ride but just arent ready. Having a surf board doesnt mean you can surf. Something told me to be more careful, that she wasnt ready for marriage. But I went ahead anyway. I dont think I made a mistake as much as I learned more about who I am.

GREEN LIGHT: Stickin to ma guns. Dont be afraid to hang it out there. Im quite content with my short stint on the love train. She will be back.

Lemme say..Im a one woman man. Its not a debate. I date one girl at a time. Period. There are no secrets…..if you plan on keeping some ….then keep them to yourself LOL cause I wont be around to hear your lie about how those mysterious texts “are nothing.....really”.

Been there ….caught that.

Good plan?? PASS.

SIDEBAR: Got a buddy who is having a hard time with his girl. She gave him a dear john letter sayin she needs her independance. They’ve spent a month apart geographically and she has decided that she wants a downgrade from lover …….to friend status.

Fan…....tastic

He wanted to know if he should change his facebook status. I said no…...just wait. Punching her back wont serve any purpose to bring you together. What you need to do is show her that you didn’t plan to stamp on her independence. Because its about what you share together. And that you don’t run at the first sign of trouble because she needs someone dependable…someone she can trust when there is doubt. So I told him to throw honey on the fire instead.. Chasing her will only drive her farther away. Distancing yourself is even worse. Earn her trust…….. and her heart will follow. If it doesn’t ……your out NOTHING…..wait for the next wave. Is that good advice?? Dunno……but just like the song says …I cant make you love me…if you don’t.

For me: Until I find a real good limbo partner…gonna have a frosty beverage and enjoy the view.

For you: find us some limbo lessons.

They said it wouldn't last too long
They'll eat their words with a fork and spoon and watch 'em . They'll hit the road and all be surfin' soon
And when they catch a wave they'll be sittin' on top of the world

Bring it……bring your heart with no secrets……and Ill bring honey for the fire. My limbo bar is set low. I know you understand this. So come with me and lets lay on the beach together and wait for the tide to come in....I just want to hold your hand and enjoy the sun until surfs up.

Coffin nails, the gods of love chemistry, and a farewell to broken rollercoasters and the circus on wheels

Big smile…….its not that theres so much to say as there is so much to chronicle. Firstly…I have missed you all and am relieved to know bloggyland is still churning out great stories and therapy in my absence!!! Hehehehe Yeah dude…roll with me on this…Ah left the US planning to get married….well…..Ah got the first half of that done..hehehehe.. Now, I cant take credit here.

Do you remember the last time I said
If I ever thought about lying,
I'd rather think of dying instead
And maybe you remember the last time you called me
to say we were through
How it took a million tears
just to prove they all were for you
But those days are through

Cause it wouldn't have made any difference, if you loved me indeed. Lemme say this process is a pouring out, so it might make a mess on the floor but on the upside, it means ma glass is clean and ready to be filled. So smile with me and let me tell you a story.

I have a confession. I was READY to get married…...before I had even touched her. Ahm gonna open with that…..

In getting ready for the trip, she told me in order for her to maintain honor we would have to appear married in public. She would have someone draft fake marriage papers and I agreed to buy some fake wedding rings for us and bring her a promise ring until we got the real things. My budget was really thin because it cost so much to get there and I needed expenses for at least a month.. And I had to pack very light but I was ready.
I finally arrive and….
Its magic…inside and out…..for both of us. At night….her body and heart are bare for me to take. We enjoy every touch, her body under my hand, her smile and eyes big and bright with need and satisfaction. We are a tangle of flesh. …..Hot……..sweaty……. complete intimacy….. like in your dreams……rough and soft…….out of control. Laughing like we had always been together. She is sweet to the core and I adore her.

The first indication that there are mirrors and smoke is …..she smokes......her health Is a disaster...... and has ....UNTREATED breast cancer. Instead of being upset that she has hidden all that from me…. I tell her I love her and we will fight together….even though she WILL be dead in a few years.
I cant define when things slowly go down hill or when they just plain freefall into hell. Needless to say such a determination matters not to a man who is plummeting toward his death from 30 thousand feet.
Three days into the trip…. She tells me NONE of my clothes are fit to wear in public and I look like a construction worker.

Then …She says there is something fishy about me.

Then …She has “doubts” about me.

Then…. She has a fit that the rings are “fake”

Then… She says I was supposed to impress her with my wallet.

Fan…….tastic

At this point ….I put a halt to the circus on wheels….. I tell her that “if I had wanted a woman that wanted me to impress her with my wallet …I could have found that back in the US……and not traveled all the way around the world and spent $3000.

RED LIGHT: wallet hunting is a no no

GREEN LIGHT: Men like to be approached for who they are...not what they can provide.

It makes no difference what color the nail in the coffin is. Even if you pull it out…….the corpse remains.

Things devolved from there.

SIDEBAR..... There is ONE thing in my book that completely totals the love train. Infidelity is ......without question a one way street. You will not recover, rebound or fix a relationship with me once you turn that corner.

She tells me she has a presentation on Friday. It will last all night.
She spends a few late nights “preparing” for the presentation.
The night before……we go out and I gladly BUY her a black purse she needs to match the dress she is BORROWING from a friend for the event.
The next day she returns from work with a NEW black gown with a tag still on it, NEW shoes….and leftovers from chilis.

AH hafta say it takes BALLS to bring me leftovers that another man bought..….and have me buy a you a new purse for a date with another man...and still Im not connecting the dots ….

I watch as she spends three hours getting ready. Boy this is a formal event. Manicure, pedicure, makeup, hair, her friends pour over her forever as she gets ready and they take pictures once she is done.

She leaves and is gone …….all night

And doesn’t return until 6 pm ……..THE NEXT NIGHT. 6.......PM ..... thats the number six with a P and a M...you read that right. Im still calm. stupid......but calm.

The next day…..Her facebook page has 50 pictures of her and some old man in a tux arm in arm at some military ball. Her phone gets a text from him that says "good morning sunshine"….and later he texts “do you need all of the money now??”
Then I accidentally found her yahoo account open .....I looked.... sure enough....Im not sure how many other men were there...wanting a date but lets just say i didnt feel the need to count them all.
Then I found out she was back on the dating site where we had met.
Then just for fun I looked on another dating site...there she was again
and then I looked at a 3rd dating site...she was there too..all active in the last 24 hours...
Then I found another facebook page she had created with just one male friend…. She cleverly changed her name slightly to hide it from me…(how many names does that make she has now???? (Seriously…. I counted 5 versions of her name...same person).

I finally broke at that point…. A little late ya think?

I typed “amazing….you’re a piece of shit” …..send.

No remorse. These are only the highlights……Big smile..I wont bore you with all the other events which took me for a ride…..but there are more..hehehe



Love? Fail……Am I ok ? Big pass.
Trey logan ….you ..are a sooooper genius.
hahaha. But its nice to have saved ma skin and my teeth by the skin of my teeth. So seriously …this has been a success. I avoided a bad mistake.

For me: Lots of good lessons learned for me. And I don’t mind the “I told you so’s.”

For you: Don’t be afraid to let down the walls….love is still there... even though things might not go your way right now.

No one else could change my mind or
stop me coming home to you
But those days are through

Bring it…….bring a new chapter. The Love train is rolling again……Still….the journey is the goal…together…...not the destination. I am anxious for a new chapter….still…the old chapter was an interesting ride….even if a broken rollercoaster….. The gods of love chemistry just cant agree on where my girl is. LOL Am I upset? Not really……Glad my heart is intact ready to give away when its right……and I am on my way again.

Postscript: I selflabel myself as a realist...but ....i guess the punkometer needs a recal.... hehe I realize I said in this post that there were other guys wanting a date from her...... thats the 8th grade boy coming out in me. I may have missed the mark.........wide.
I could have called them johns or customers. I think this post may paint her as a scam artist..true...but i think it says alot about who I am.....and my shortcomings......oh well.... the tide shes a comin in.......gotta get ready for the next wave. Ciao

MY pinay, counting chickens, and an end to square holes

No .......I was NOT expecting it.....at all. I guess thats what happens when youre not lookin where your goin. You trip..... you fall..........I fell

I fell hard

Lemme say ....I havent been this happy.......and hadnt thought about marriage for a while. OK maybe Im counting my chickens but....true love is rare......
and you KNOW how ah feel bout that! ....... Big smile.

Now I cant take credit here.

I was so lonely until I met you
Told myself I’d get by without love
Drownin’ my sorrows
Avoiding tomorrows
Kind of felt that I just had enough
You light up my face with your jokes and your smiles
And the way that you came here tonight
Don’t know what you got
But I’m sure glad I found you
Could be wrong but it sure feels right

Back on my feet again indeed. Its hard to walk....... when you feel like running.....when it feels so good. But I have been here before........and so have you.
The older I get the more I want to do things the right way........come hell.........or high water be damned. Im not always proud of my choices....I have a checkered bad boy past that will not be fit for monarchy or the monastary. But I set my bar high for people that dare get close.and......I am not alone.....I know you understand this.

And.....regreatably I am not willingingly a card carrying member that subscribes to 7times 70. and yes...I admit my past is littered with those who would no doubt proclaim that number in my world is far too small to be included in the definition of generous forgiving. Yes I have my own faults...... I admit it. But I have to say....finding someone who loves me....just the way I am is something you cant enjoy until you experience it for yourself. No round pegs. No square holes.

I have been guilty of saying that there will not be another.

I was wrong.

The sermon keep your heart open........is medicine I love to share.
And......sometimes you cant appreciate being sick until you take your own medicine.
Even if this doesnt turn out to last ....I wont look back with regret because I put my heart on the block for her.
The love train has few tickets and I.........

have two......but......

not for long.

My pinay wants one of them.... and I.....
smile when I think that she can have it in her right hand......
because I
have plans

for her left hand

The past is
gone.

And.....I know that there have been times for you and me that this fact has been a source of incredible pain and loss. I understand......but........
The love train stops......only for those who are ready to let go of the past.

I am also a man who,....... when he is at his best ....brings out the best in his lover
.....and to my surprise...... she is bringing out the best in me.

For you: Love rules.......not the paycheck, not the car, not the size of the house, not even falling in love with saying "hes a doctor, lawyer or indian chief" to impress your friends. Call me in 15 years and let me know how that worked for ya..

For me: Love rules........ and when the love train stopped....Im glad I was ready.....big smile.

Surprised at myself
For the way that I feel
So happy that you’re
Here with me
Some women I’ve known
They’ve left me with nothing
But I guess that was just meant to be
And here I am
I’m back on my feet again
Here I am
I’m back on my feet again

Bring it...........bring the love train. Keep your games. Keep your lets see if I can get him to chase me. Keep your walls. Keep your check lists, keep your dont answer the phone when I call, keep your dont call me back right away, keep your lets make him jealous and see what he does texts and your Im gonna play dumb emails..... you can use them on the next guy.....coz guys like me are 5 on every street corner.....big smile. She has everything...all the inner beauty that I have always searched and longed for......... I'm......... gone......

POSTSCRIPT: The blog may be taking a recess.....which is better than a break! I hope to come back with good news for me....and I hope to find you all doing well.....so long for a bit my good friends...keep blogging.....XXXX OOOO Trey Logan you .....are soooper genius. Hahahaha...

Love rules, serendipity on a budget, and the monkey spanking

Yeah dude……….turning good corners of late…..small smile….I cant really take credit for serendipity in my pocket but its nice when she spills out. Help yourself…..small smile….Some good things just aren’t by design and if fortune favors the foolish……..then Ida be pleased to share everything ……even if it only amounted to a little bit o spare change.
Now I can’t take credit here.

You want my love and you cant deny
You know its true, but you try to hide
You turn down love like its really bad
You cant give what you never had
Well bless your soul, you can fool a few
But, I know the truth and so do you

Cant hide love indeed. LOL well….but you sure can destroy it….…that is if you can find it. Small smile. Serendipity is sometimes on a budget.
Does ANYTHING get better than old earth wind and fire????? And don’t try to compare them with Todd Rundgren …or Steely Dan…cant be done….even though both are the fushizzle. For me that time was still the bomb……never realized how much The Ohio players rode their coat tails….. but you can really hear the influence!!!!….Trey Logan you ……are a soooooper genius.
Ya gotsta love this. I was at the gym the other day. Struttin around….pushin big weight. …..Talkin to all the loveley ladies. About an hour into my work out I look down and ……my shorts are on inside out. It was great.
The guitar pic is courtesy of SKB. She and I have an interesting thing goin on. Its good for both of us. We have a long lost history. The origins of which are……well….too funny for me to expose here because I respect her too much. Neither of us could do justice to labeling exactly where we fit……..suffice it to say we both value each others time and I would hate to lose that or tarnish what has been a good experience for both of us. Daddys crystal ball wont tell me how this will all end up…. But I’ll say its deep open, and honest enough to survive either of us possibly getting a call that ….the other has found someone else interesting. However I could be wrong and get a big monkey spanking for being a worm.
NEWSFLASH: No need to worry further bout round 7. small smile. She just got married! And…….gym girl.. …..laughing now…..called me….ready?....... a playa. She tried to apologize and all I could do was smile and say “some people are just better than others at crushing love”……and not to worry ……..men like me are a dime a dozen. 3 on every street corner.
The punkometer ……be needin a bit o calibration…….wry smile……got taken by the “love to go no show” act…followed by the classic three day later “can we do it again?” act II.

A……mazing.

Act III is usually me hitting the defriend button without remorse……big smile. Not to worry…..men like me are a dime a dozen…… 3 on every street corner.
Teeny finally got the axe …….right in the MIDDLE of a chat on Facebook. When I got.

“I don’t play head games with you”

I was……immediately……HOT.

She didn’t get a response. What she got was

UN……….FRIEND

Signed sealed delivered…..Im …LOL…..not yours! S’all good. Gettin the message ?.....PASS. FAIL? …no thank you. The love train moves on.

I was born yesterday………. but I stayed up all night. Who bluffs without a hand? ….or chips?

SIDEBAR: I like having a positive outlook…(although I label myself a realist)..but I think Im going to reserve this sidebar space for stuff that …….might deserve some wrath…….and especially so if its therapeutic for me….even if my underbelly shows. Lemme say Im getting old. When I see ANYONE wearing tapout T shirts…..they usually look like they …..should NOT be wearing them. I mean seriously. If youre gonna wear tapout clothes then you better weigh more than 142 and less than 342 lbs. And another thing. Don’t wear black dress socks with your tennis shoes to the gym. Don’t do it………..Just ………..don’t. It makes you look like a moron. Correction …….you look like a moron. Dude….wheres your helmet? Youre wearing black socks to the gym……you MUST have a helmet. I hate to say it but I actually put a sign up in the gym…

PLEASE DON’T WEAR BLACK SOCKS TO THE GYM……JUST DONT

Lastly …….please don’t argue that Phil Lesh is a good bass player. ……….he’s not. In fact don’t even think it.

Back to the world. Been missin football. I have to admit it. But I suppose a year off is good to work on some things………… I take that back. It sucks. I seriously hope it will be different next year. I ran into a linebacker I played with two years ago …..some fist bumps at the liquor store and he asked if I was playin. We had the same story. Went and saw what was an obvious disaster and we agreed “not gonna waste my time”. Its nice when two blokes are on the same page. Its a lot easier than gettin a guy and a girl on the same page……. True that.
Read an article that says that attractive women have so many suitors …that they cant make a decision on which one to marry. Interesting.

I say love rules. I guess not everyone agrees.

They also go for less attractive men …who have power and money. LOL didn’t know they needed a study to prove that. Lessee how that works for you in ten years. Hehehe Apparently when an argument comes up the attractive man says ““This is your problem, you deal with it” whereas the unattractive hubbies were more apt to say things like, “I'm here for you — what do you want me to do? How can I help you?'". Do you know what this means??? Im ugly. Hehehe.
I read another article that said the number one regret people have in life when they look back is romance gone bad. ……True that.
I confess I pine for women that shine and sparkle. It’s a flaw…. On both fronts…The pining is silly because chasing happiness is nothing next to being happy…and the shine and sparkle quality is exactly the wrong thing to pine after. Flash over substance is a real …..letdown….Ya know? Ya know? Been there before. Gotsta be changin ma ways. However in the meantime ……theres a 27 year old filly that ……gave me her phone number. We had decided to get together to …….hangout…..and we both made it clear it was not……. a date. But I bailed on the whole thing a few hours before we were to …. Hook up. LOL every once in a while ………..I get it right.

For you: Stop and smell some summer roses. Cause winter comes all too soon.

For me: Lately Ive been thinking along the lines of “be desireless ….give away kindness”. I like that perspective and what it does for my demeanor. Im proud when Im selfless. I hope others can see that. A fools dream possibly but I like spreading something that shines. Cuz sometimes……I let myself down.

You cant hide love, you cant now
You cant hide love, its got ya
Betcha you want my love, I betcha
You cant hide feeling inside

Bring it………bring the dog days of summer…..LOL better than the dog days of war…fo sho. Grilling out has been fun so far. Even if Im not the best at it.

POSTSCRIPT: Timing is SUCH a funny thing. And sometimes I DON’T get it right. My armour has some chinks in it. I confess. When the call came that SKB was seen out with an ex……….I was hit with one of those dilemmas where your damned if you do and damned if you don’t. Surely I could have handled it another way…with a calm head….but no………I called the young filly back.
“How bout tonight?”
“sure, Im up for ANYTHING”.

POSTSCRIPT DEUX: yeah dude. Like I said sometimes I get it wrong. Just when you think something goes bad you realize its actually worse….. the fallout doesn’t always fit the crime but sometimes I react in my best interests when I see you set the bridge I built on fire by helping……..blow it up. SKB gave me some advice which turned out to be catastrophic. So much so in fact that it felt like being molested by your dad while he sold you some amway sex toy pyramid scheme. We will NOT be speaking again.

Engineered magic, charming swine, and the kingpin of down time

Yeah dude…..new beach towels, blender, and huge tub of boat goodies are headin to the lake. The pools gonna be open and some offers in life are only made once. ….small smile…. Family, friends, late nights and late mornings on the water come highly recommended. Being the kingpin of downtime…….is tough. I suppose Pink Floyds wish you were here would be appropriate. But I have other things on my mind.
Now I can’t take credit here.

One plush summer you come to me ripe and ready
And bad through and through
With that deep mystical soul synergy pumping steady

Two against nature indeed. Falling in love makes you vulnerable….. exposed…..helpless….love isn’t something you can stop….so yeah….fight to control it and it will evaporate …just like that…….

Problem is…folks don’t want to be out of control. They want to be in love …but they still want to keep those walls in place. They want to be chased…...but not caught. Theyre proud of their independence and life on “uncatchable island”. That way………you can’t get hurt.

“no one gets in here………..alive”

Fan……tastic

That’s a great plan. No one gets in. You don’t get out. I definitely want some o that…... small smile. You cant have your cake and eat it too.

I think a lot of folks forget that. They have one foot in and one foot out. Whats the old saying? A monkey doesn’t let go of a branch unless they have hold of another one? True that.

The love train doesn’t ship engineered magic. You have to make it together. I think that gets lost on people from time to time. We like our food fast and our internet quick…….and tasty love?….well…….. instant mash taters it aint……it don’t come in a box waiting for you to open it. Trey Logan you…..are a sooooper genius.

I still go back to that feeling of 8th grade love.

its best when its effortless.

…..Cool

Nowadays there are kids, bills, gas prices, bills, gas prices, and of course a marriage history that’s well……..a real good reminder that love can be dangerous…....and painful.

Self preservation I guess is a natural thing. Throw enough car crashes in and soon……drivin aint so fun. I feel ya. Who wanna get hurt? True that……..better than that….

Who wanna get paid???

One things fo sho…….

You don’t play……..you don’t get paid..

Playin football is a blast. But I gotsta tell ya. Sittin on the sidelines during a game……..sucks. Yeah its safer. You cant get hurt…..but ..whats the point if you aren’t IN the game? Ya feel me?

I see a lot of folks like that. …….Closed off. protective, guarded, …….unavailable. Mirrors don’t typically lie…….at least I don’t think so.

Zat so?

So zat is………

Yeah dude…self medication dawg. Get in line. I don’t always listen to what I preach. Surprise surprise.

SIDEBAR: Aw dude……I hate seein folks hangin onto a bad relationship. You know whats worse? Takin the fool……. BACK. Does ANYONE respect that? Jeesh. ….. Lemme say it speaks of something lame when a woman takes back a proven loser who whimpers and whines and begs her a thousand times for months to take him back …..after they’ve proven they don’t have balls. Has anyone EVER looked back and said that was a good idea??? Weak? PASS Smart? FAIL…..I have never understood why no means “just ask me 500 times and eventually I’ll say yes.” Rinse …..Repeat. Repeat.

If you lie down with dogs……..your guilty by association.

Proprietary purgatory fo sho

Fan……….tastic

Charming swine make grapefruit wine. Enjoy.

I like being the best of both worlds. I don’t always succeed though. A good man/.bad boy though means you have to bring your A game. I cant bring out the best in my lover if WE don’t connect. So the walls have to come down. I think people forget that. I think a lot of folks sit back and measure you up, grade you, evaluate you ………and then decide “no way” when they discover your not willing to pull 90% of the work. All the while failing to look in the mirror to see what theyre doing to make something genuine happen.

What meal you gonna catch with tricks, lines, and bullshit for bait??….…

Don’t think Im hungry just cuz it wiggles. You put in your own time around here homey. Make no mistake….if it tastes good then Ill tie you up and make sure you get lots of good attention with just the right amount of pressure….. but that will only happen …if youre available.

If not then ..….I can skip a meal…… small smile.

Oh…..and stay the HELL away from me.

For me: Chillin……The love train is on her own schedule……Im happy in my own skin of late…small smile…searching for happiness is nothing compared to being happy. Lately that comes from not bring a prisoner to desires……and giving away kindness…..big smile…....and vacation is coming.

For you: I want to see that look in your eyes.. I cant make you feel safe and secure if you’ve got a killer grip on that lock …AND the key. Im not sayin its easy cheesy lemon squeezy. …sigh…some things ya hafta work for.

With the long weekend that's comin' up fast
Let's get busy
There's just too much to do
That black mini looks just like the one she's been missin'
Feels good on you

Bring it……..bring you’re A game. The past is the past. Freedom will set you free.

POSTSCRIPT: The weekends only shortcoming was that it was ........ short. My son got his first real taste of knee boarding.....which he NAILED. Lately Ive been calling him crackshot after his first BB gun ability. hehehe

The gold knight, the spring sun, and the things you see when you haven’t got yer gun

Ah…..dude ….the boat needed some TLC…..and I was glad to give it. Been neglecting giving the Tifosi….(yes that’s her name) some well deserved attention. She got some wash and wax for her body…..some stain for her wood……..some caulk for her seams…….and we’re both happy bout that. Its not really so much of a chore when you’ve got Bob Marley cranked up and cold lime flavored beer in buckets of ice. The pre summer sun is sweet ya know? Ya know? Not punishing like in August. Mmmmmmm some things just make you feel good. Got a power steering leak I need to fix permanently…..and maybe an oil change next trip down…….. and shes ready for the summer. Took her out for a quick trip on the lake and she sounds wonderful. Oh…I need a new flag on the bow. Any ideas? Hehehe Now I cant take credit here.

I Want To Love You (P.Y.T.)
Pretty Young Thing
You Need Some Lovin' (T.L.C.)
Tender Lovin' Care
And I'll Take You There

Pretty young thing indeed. But old school rules. Small smile…..

Aw dude. An old couple came in the other day and its hard to describe how cool it was to see them sooooooo stiiiilll in love. Lemme say PDA’s don’t turn my stomach at all ……sorry. She said they had been together since they were sixteen and man ….talk about envious. Unbreakable, unshakeable, REAL love. Lifetime tickets on the love train…… cool……

Its always best when its effortless. True that.

The modern savage isn’t the brightest animal….an A+ student of communication I ….am not. …I admit it…I need you’re help. Bad boys don’t train well…knowing that its not always about me is a good start. But bein a good lover comes from understanding …..YOU. That you want comfort……. to feel safe and secure, to be cherished AND ravaged by someone in charge and in control.

None of this is possible ……unless you trust me.

THAT………. I have to earn. Chase you? No………earn your trust? Yes. But I can only earn it if you’re willing to let me. Am I a threat to your comfort zone? I better be…..
But you have to trust me to push you out of your comfort zone …….and bring you back. I’d rather see you smile cause I give you lots of goooood attention. That’s different than chasing you. Ya feel me?
A guy that chases you is probably insecure and jealous…..(not to mention it makes you run the other way) and his idea of making you feel protected is to smother you and lock you up so no one else can tempt you. Uh….…that’s not love…it’s a dysfunctional prison in disguise.
You’ll only feel protected when you trust me enough to approach me. No cat. No mouse. No chase.
Dare I say it? Being restrained is an act of trust. To take you there and bring you back.

SIDEBAR: Good gosh Ive lost thirty pounds of football weight! Don’t mind putting some o that back on for sure….. but I guess its all good in the long run cuz it wasnt the healthiest……had someone close mention I was built like a tank. Hehehe have to admit it was nice to get to the gym and see the runts scatter. But deep down I know this is better for me health wise. So I should shut up.

Where was I ?

Oh yeah….

Got a friend who finally saw the light and got rid of the shitty boyfriend shes suffered with for 9 months. Good on her. It was SUCH a good decision because she realized she wasn’t available for Mr right…when he came along……. as long as she was dating Mr. handicapped. No job, a manipulator, always begging for attention, controlling, lousy in bed, caught cheatin,…for her it was a rebound trap fo sho….straight out of the marriage she picked a loser just like the one she had before……the first one up to the plate…. She went right from that to her high school fantasy guy ….he proved to be worse still. They hadn’t seen each other in a long time. He was in town all week but didn’t see her until he was on his way out of town….in the afternoon…after he used all his prepackaged lines on her…getting in all the sales tricks as fast as possible…with time running out…..he declared that they could fool around

If she wanted
as long as…….

Ready?

they didn’t kiss…. Why? …..He said it was too personal.

Fan…….tastic

The things you see when you haven’t got your gun.

The drive thru Cassanova.

No wonder y’all think there’s a mancession. I always say NO relationship is better than a bad one. I was proud of her ….she turned his wildly piss poor offer down.

A moron can read Shakespeare…….but that don’t make him noble.

Just cuz a guy says something …don’t make it so. Oh…..you knew that ….…didn ya?

I try to keep my blog as open testimony. Which is sometimes easy and sometimes er…..not so much. Disclosure about who I am is therapeutic …even if painful sometimes. But I maintain that a man should have only good secrets and I am not above the law.

Theres this……. overly attractive…girl (LOL ok ok woman) my age. Shes…..well…….an easy 10.3 on the Dudley Moore scale. Exceptionally beautiful, bright, in shape, smart, funny, sexy, coy……you get the picture. If she were to throw herself in front of the hookup bus every man on the planet would get off and help her to his bed..……in exacting terms…… a trophy wife. The hubby has his long list of accomplishments (They recently went on a vacation and Im told he wore a suit) so hes the typical “work comes first” “you’re an ornament” guy.

Shes……….not happy. “We don’t have anything in common”.

I’m …not the smartest……so lots of things just go over my head but eventually she makes it clear that…….if I am willing……..shes mine to enjoy. Once…….or…….I could go ring shoppin should I dare.

Did I mention shes NOT happy?

We have a very good relationship….and if both of us REALLY wanted ….things might be very different. Except

I’m not for sale.

Of course everyone in the gym thinks im insane but……….I don’t want to be the clean up artist for someone who “chose” to be a trophy wife. I know shes trapped at home but I have to confess…….If you made the choice based on the guys resume ……..then you cant earn my sympathy. Wasted Time? PASS Love? …….FAIL.

I like the thought of being the knight in gold armor ……but not for someone who got a cushy 20 year ride because they look great….and then decided they really wanted a life partner twenty years later.

No deal.

I like the REAL fushizzle…..with a lime. Its not very special if every man will take it. If any man is willing to lay down with you …its kinda up to you to tell the difference between a knight and ……..a guy with a sales plan. How hard can that be? ……don’t answer that.

For you: Be careful of venal choices……especially if you done did that befo.
Tinker tailor soldier spy …..a man in disguise will not give you his heart. Caveat emptor my love.

For me: Im in a much better place. Enjoyin the horizon and not worryin….the punkometer is workin and Im goin on vacation soon.

Nothin' Can Stop This Burnin'
Desire To Be With You
Gotta Get To You Baby
Won't You Come, It's Emergency
Cool My Fire Yearnin'
Honey, Come Set Me Free

Bring it………….bring the summer sun…….and a summer night……mmmmmmm……..even the morning spring sun sun feels good ……..on the water.

A Phoenix, A Mclovin attack, and the secondhand Krugerrand

Aw dude…things just ………don’t go according to plan. Football training, a small shoulder injury, and too much cardio have conspired (hehehe) to make me lose too much weight. The record attempt will have to wait till august. Ahm not happy bout that……Ahm not happy that the team looks sooooo bad that I don’t EVEN want to waste time with it. Big frown……….truthfully….both of these is a big let down because I spend a tremendous amount of energy on both. But truthfully I weighed way too much and it wasn’t very healthy…..and NOW…. Ive got lots of time on the lake this summer! Now I cant take credit here.

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Blackbird indeed. The end of the road is nothing to a bird and I am resourceful if nothing else. Change of plans……Gain some weight……..and nail it in august. Blackbird or phoenix…makes no difference….small smile…..I don’t kill easy.

I read where couples that stay together challenge each other in new ways….. Id agree with that… cool. I like tryin new things and challenging my partner to do the same. I can see why that would make for a long relationship. Ya know ya know?

Finding someone you can live with ………really isnt a plan when love demands you should find someone you cant live without.

I wouldn’t want to be a man that you could predict too easily. You wouldn’t want that in ten years. Leaving you a sweet note in a hiding place would work much better. So I have to be on my toes to be a good partner. That also means getting through disappointment or tough times. I don’t always get it right. But I do my best to weather bad news. SO…………….yeah I wanted to break that record and play football this year BAD………but ……..now I can work on my abs and hit it in august at the powerlifting meet in Charleston……..and football will be there next year……small smile. Make the best of it…..you and I only go round once….even if I feel like a second hand krugerrand.

Had a buddy of mine (preacher’s son) casually tell me about how he and his 3 room mates ran a train on some girl he picked up at a bar. They then took her to a local golf course at 2 a.m. then left her to get soaked by the sprinkler system, high tailed it back to their apartment, threw her stuff out the window and locked the door for the rest of the nite.

Nice…….

The same guy is also married to one of the richest and most attractive girls in town.

Super nice…….

The punkometer continues to pay for itself. Been ignoring several from my past that still don’t understand that the punkometer doesn’t forget. Mailney, round seven, too young overly sexting chick. Its seems a month off means Ive rested up so you can bring the same stinky shit you brought last time …..dressed exactly the same….and try to string me along again. Hehehe Or maybe its just my turn in the rotation. Either way….your still off……. cuz…….

I was born yesterday……

But I stayed up all night.

Punkometer? PASS. Takin out the trash? PASS. Playin games for attention? DOUBLE FAIL

Besides Im in a good place right now. Reality trumps all. Again. Small smile.

Sidebar: For some strange reason….when I’m nice to folks they take it as

A) I’m interested…and run away

B) I’m an easy catch….and run away

C) They’ve already caught me…and run away

Bwwahhhaaaaa! Blink blink. Whatever your convictions….whatever your reservations about me. Make no mistake…..youve made a mistake if you think a Mclovin attack will work…all it does is tell me youre Mcaverage……gots me a better idea……. How bout usin that weak transparent phony act on someone…..anyone else…. K?! K?! Hehehe. The love train doesn’t stop for attention swindlers. Ever.

Lemme speakonit for a sec…….

Its interesting that I hear women say they don’t want head games….but that’s apparently a popular method of choice for fishing a partner. Openly confess they want a good man but gravitate to the broken bad boy. Repeat venal choice offender……Meh.

A man of mystery, I am. Good and bad boy. But send me signals that you don’t even know what YOU want …well…...dont expect the love train to stop…Cause if you don’t know you…you definitely aren’t interested in understanding me! Oh …….I’m sorry! You forgot its not ALWAYS about you….…huh…………Maybe THATS why you only get to look at the love train. Its like asking me if you can rent my fireworks…….uh……..No. You’ve got a better chance of applause for slappin a puppy in a petstore…….just sayin.
I’m not perfect by any means……so yeah I could use your help. Partnership street is a two way thoroughfare. You forget that too?
Interestingly I ran into a sweet girl whos looking for a love train partner ……she wanted to know if I could get on with her……….but …..she was already riding with someone else. The love train doesn’t fit passengers in the cracks or let people on just because you want to ride. The love train stops when youre heart is good n ready. It doesn’t fall out of the sky like rain and hit the rich and poor alike.

Love comes only once or twice in your life………. True that.

FOR ME : So I’m ok with having to change my plans a bit……the man that captures youre heart should be no less. I’m down with that if it means I get to pin you down and nuzzle the back of your neck.

FOR YOU: A mclovin attack to fish for my heart will do you no good. In fact good luck with that. Hehehe

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to be free

Bring it……….bring some new challenges. I’ve weathered a lot, chances are you have too. A change in plans might do us both some good.

A guys fairy tale, the clan chief, and the first taste of outside linebacker

Yeah dude……first day of practice. I’m….m o v i n g s l o w. Bruised ribs …..which is……fun. My hamstrings are wound up like steel and my right knees lateral ligament didn’t tear like it did my first season but it definitely pulled and ….let me know it didn’t like blitzing the quarterback… My first taste as a linebacker was…. A compliment from the coach as far as Im concerned. But Im pleased with my form. Winter training ….hasn’t paid off yet….but it was worth it…..Ahm right where I want to be. Been pushin to the threshold of injury….. not smart, no option, not complainin, just………..sore all over. Heal up …hit em again.

Some old faces “sup dawgs” and fist bumps….some new ones..…cocky and full of shit. But truthfully..…..the team doesn’t look like it should this far into preseason…at all….ahm not happy bout that……speakin ma piece is better than bitchin fo sho……and I told the coaches so. Instead of signin their contract I told them Id be back at the end of April to see how theyre shaping up. Maybe you don’t know me as well as you think you do. Guns? Check. Gonads? Check. Godsmack? For sure. I grabbed my gear and strolled to the car…..Small smile…. Don’t assume I’m going to think like the average man cause I sure as hell don’t perform like one. Now I cant take credit here.

When the hound dog barkin' in the black of the night,
stick my hand in my pocket, everything's all right.

Just got paid indeed. Gunna apologize upfront again for rambling. Lately my posts have just tidbits of things here and there bout relationships that I think are interesting. Im in a good place right now…. I am …….a lucky man….big smile…. Its nice to be happy in your own skin.

Gotta friend whos datin a woman waayy older than him (Dolly Partons sister actually) . He takes a lot of ribbing from his friends but he says it’s a real relief when they go out. Shes a self made woman…..mature. She doesn’t need him for anything other than the relationship. So he doesn’t have to worry about her using him for money, position, status……….ya know ya know? Makes sense to me. The love train doesn’t ask “what can you do for me?” The love train wants to know if youre heart is right ….. then….. you can ride. I feel like pushing baby hungry ring hunters in front of the train. Hehe Smart Idea? PASS.

Yes Trey Logan … you are a soooooper genius.

A guys fairy tale. Once apon a time…… a handsome prince asked a beautiful princess to marry him. She said “No”……..and he lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and slept with skinny big breasted blond girls half his age, and hunted and raced cars, and drank whiskey and stayed out late and never heard bitching and never paid child support, and never got cheated on while he was at work and he had tons of money in the bank and he left the toilet seat up. The end.

…….Really…..really…… small smile…..

I was reading an article called something like ”The one secret they don’t tell you about marriage” and the gist was …… when the marriage starts out …everything is of course the best….eventually …………..the arguing sets in. At some point in time it leads to questioning if they made the right choice for a partner. And you know what happens after that.

Fan…….tastic

It takes two to make it work

It takes one to screw it up.

I was thinking bout communication the other day and I know women are professed to be better at it than men. Most people tend to say that womens claws come out when you group them together in a pack ……but guys don’t seem to do that.. Wanna know why? My guess is that until the second world war when women in the western world started working in factories, women didn’t work in groups. Go back in time and I think women were spending their time at home with the kids. They never had to work together en masse so that dynamic is a bit new. However guys, have been going out as a group for centuries to kill a boar and bring it home for supper. We have always had to work together to get things done. Remember we like sports. Football field? Battlefield? Theres always been a clan chief, captain, quarterback, and rules to follow like in the military so were used to structure and hierarchy. Its part of the history of “manhood”. Its only been recently that women have been afforded positions in the church!!!

Not sayin men make the best choices but……..

In the past women really weren’t involved in things like politics. It was all guys. So men are used to being in an organization…..were just not organized. LOL

All women I run into say “I get along better with men”. Its funny. They ALL say that. When you ask why …..women confess that “ cuz women are mean and backstabbing”. Of course these same women want to know where are “all the good men”. Which is a perfect fit. A mean backstabbing woman and a good man. Now that’s a recipe for…….well…….divorce I guess. Of course people don’t always say what they mean. Those same women that swear they want a good man are attracted to bad boys…… Lucky for me. LOL

just got paid today,
got me a pocket full of change.

Bring it……….bring it when its ready. If its not ready then I don’t want it. Peddlin somethin when Im not interested wont get you anything. Its nice to be happy when you aren’t even thinking bout the love train. Mmmmmmmm S’ok….ahm still smilin. Three weeks till State championship and I……..am ready.

An ole dawg, tornado scrabble, and the 3 year glitch

Yeah dude…….s’all good. …small smile. Spring training is …….good. Success FEELS good….. ya know? ya know? State championships are about a month away and if I have a worry its that I cant keep my weight on cuz football training tends to make me lose weight……… so I really shouldn’t complain bout that. Whatcha think?



We really seem to have a problem here
But it is you or me
Whatever I have going through my mind
You always have to disagree

You know Im right indeed. Hehehe. Bein an ole dawg ……I have a hard time understanding relationship tactics of the young and reckless. I know bad means good and sick means cool……..but ….. I need help when it comes to mixed signals……. Maybe its just me….but if your concept of self changes with the wind……..stay the…….HELL away from me. I like reading how my lover thinks. If your confused about your own thoughts then how am I supposed to read your mind??? Hehehe I’ve met a few that seem to think reading like a game of scrabble in a tornado is a man trap. Its not. If I get signals that make no sense it doesn’t make me interested. It makes my head hurt. Just sayin……

Ahm gonna demystify sumpin bout selfishness. Guys are bred for it. Im not sayin its the best quality to have but it’s a quality that men need in order to be successful from 9-5. Problem is we don’t turn it off so easily when we get home.

Understandably most women roll their eyes if they’re husband is selfish or greedy…. and that they hate that part of him.

But we need that part of our personality to bring home our share of the bacon….

Growing up we want to be soldiers, Winston cup drivers, football and rock stars. At no point in our training does the pit crew say “that’s it…your doing great……….stay in last place.” NASA never gets on the radio and says “you forgot to take the trash out……no sex for you when you get back to earth.” We train to be in first place. We don’t readily understand what it means to step aside. No man fantasizes about doing daily household chores and we don’t play school for fun when were young. Not all women but ahm willin to bet most have, at some time, played “house” ya know? or school, shoppin, babys, teacher……… In truth what you girls were doing was pretending to be an adult……you were playing adult. That’s why youre so far ahead of us boys. Trey logan you…… are a sooooper genius.

Think about it.

While your pretending to be an adult woman, guys are ……throwing rocks at trees.

That’s why we hear the phrase

You have to grow up now.

Its time to grow up.

He just needs to be an adult and grow up.

Im learning……….just slow. Hehehe.

Go back to 1839……just …….humor me.

In 1839 as a thirteen year old girl you were as prepared for adulthood as you could possibly get. For the last thirteen years you’ve been by your moms side all day every day….making soap, snapping beans, mending clothes, taking care of your younger siblings, making candles and frying bacon. You were ready for mother hood…..and when that period hit……….they farmed your ass out to the nearest guy that could borrow his dads horse on a Sunday and show up on the front porch for lemonade. So they had three guys to choose from. You weren’t exactly in love or romanced…..You married the guy that lived within riding distance.

Cuz make no mistake you were a mess. No hair care products. You didn’t shave your legs, armpits, or tootie. No dentist or mouthwash or makeup. Have you seen pictures from around that time???? Egads…….Hell…… your dad gave him a cow just to take you away.

Where was I?

Oh yeah.

No wonder boys are behind girls when it comes to this romance thing.

In 1839 the total amount of manhood lessons a thirteen year old boy got was…….”see boy…..when you pull the reigns to the left ….the ox goes left…..that make sense??” (spit tobacco)..…..and stuff like how to shoot a cow in the head.

“how to be a great lover” was not one of the lessons dad taught. So be patient…… we’re kinda slow.

If love involved ……crushing level three on Halo My son ………would be Romeo extraordinaire . But…….

He’s playing basketball again and its kinda hard to drill “team player” in a kids head when it’s a frenzy of flying limbs in a pile. I swear I could have choked the coach and his son. When the son got the ball (which was every play) he drove to the basket every time…right past his team mates. Didn’t matter if he made a bucket or not…he just ignored everyone else. I think kids are going to have it tough…when it comes to relationships. Im not envious. I don’t think the love train will be stopping for everyone.

So yeah…….I have a selfish streak. But learning when I need it……and when I need to bag it ……..are really worthwhile. Cause I want to be the only man that makes you stop breathing when he pushes you up against the wall and bites your neck. I have to be a little selfish to do that. MMMMM……

Im finding that although I know what I want ….I don’t know that younger girls know what they want ….or what I want for that matter. I think theyre confused and not even sure how a relationship is supposed to work. It’s a wonder the love train stops at all…so when it does….. do your best to take care of it… small smile.

I read where the seven year itch has been reduced to a three year glitch. By that they mean people are starting to stray from their marriages after just three years.

Fan…….tastic

So much for till death do us part. Heck my car loan was longer than that….small smile.

True story. I work with this girl who got so mad at her husband she pulled a knife on him and screamed “remember when we said till death do us part??? Well guess what??...... Todays the day!!!

Relationship? FAIL

I think women have more to lose in a failed marriage than a man because they have built up the idea more than men do. That’s why women sometimes hang in there longer than men…they don’t want it to be a failure so they stick their head in the sand and wait for someone else to make a decision.

It's just a matter of opinions
It's not a simple fact
Why don't you try to see the other side
Don't turn your back

Bring it……..bring some understanding. I rather like it when everyone pulls theyre weight. I bet on you. You bet on me. I make you happy. You make me smile. Deal?