whatcha ona bout girl??

whatcha ona bout girl??
A retrospective on the inner workings of love, flying pancakes, mensa disasters, dandelion cookies, number bending, super salt, bubblegum oysters, chicken spit, crystal kidneys, guerilla carrots, polychromatic tofu, paraphysics, tender vigilanties, black sand, phillastine placebos, wood soup, buttered shuttlecocks, apostrophe training, fish whips, bleeding speed, plastic fantastic lobster telephones, venus drug rehab, clowns on fire, kiosks on a leash, marshmello overcoats, bottled light, fried blood, unbridled hyperthyroidism, folding wine, amygdula tickling, fainting in coils, hamburgers for the apocalypse, plastic memes, and conjugal fritters.....well...the love parts true

Friday, January 13, 2012

Coffin nails, the gods of love chemistry, and a farewell to broken rollercoasters and the circus on wheels

Big smile…….its not that theres so much to say as there is so much to chronicle. Firstly…I have missed you all and am relieved to know bloggyland is still churning out great stories and therapy in my absence!!! Hehehehe Yeah dude…roll with me on this…Ah left the US planning to get married….well…..Ah got the first half of that done..hehehehe.. Now, I cant take credit here.

Do you remember the last time I said
If I ever thought about lying,
I'd rather think of dying instead
And maybe you remember the last time you called me
to say we were through
How it took a million tears
just to prove they all were for you
But those days are through

Cause it wouldn't have made any difference, if you loved me indeed. Lemme say this process is a pouring out, so it might make a mess on the floor but on the upside, it means ma glass is clean and ready to be filled. So smile with me and let me tell you a story.

I have a confession. I was READY to get married…...before I had even touched her. Ahm gonna open with that…..

In getting ready for the trip, she told me in order for her to maintain honor we would have to appear married in public. She would have someone draft fake marriage papers and I agreed to buy some fake wedding rings for us and bring her a promise ring until we got the real things. My budget was really thin because it cost so much to get there and I needed expenses for at least a month.. And I had to pack very light but I was ready.
I finally arrive and….
Its magic…inside and out…..for both of us. At night….her body and heart are bare for me to take. We enjoy every touch, her body under my hand, her smile and eyes big and bright with need and satisfaction. We are a tangle of flesh. …..Hot……..sweaty……. complete intimacy….. like in your dreams……rough and soft…….out of control. Laughing like we had always been together. She is sweet to the core and I adore her.

The first indication that there are mirrors and smoke is …..she smokes......her health Is a disaster...... and has ....UNTREATED breast cancer. Instead of being upset that she has hidden all that from me…. I tell her I love her and we will fight together….even though she WILL be dead in a few years.
I cant define when things slowly go down hill or when they just plain freefall into hell. Needless to say such a determination matters not to a man who is plummeting toward his death from 30 thousand feet.
Three days into the trip…. She tells me NONE of my clothes are fit to wear in public and I look like a construction worker.

Then …She says there is something fishy about me.

Then …She has “doubts” about me.

Then…. She has a fit that the rings are “fake”

Then… She says I was supposed to impress her with my wallet.


At this point ….I put a halt to the circus on wheels….. I tell her that “if I had wanted a woman that wanted me to impress her with my wallet …I could have found that back in the US……and not traveled all the way around the world and spent $3000.

RED LIGHT: wallet hunting is a no no

GREEN LIGHT: Men like to be approached for who they are...not what they can provide.

It makes no difference what color the nail in the coffin is. Even if you pull it out…….the corpse remains.

Things devolved from there.

SIDEBAR..... There is ONE thing in my book that completely totals the love train. Infidelity is ......without question a one way street. You will not recover, rebound or fix a relationship with me once you turn that corner.

She tells me she has a presentation on Friday. It will last all night.
She spends a few late nights “preparing” for the presentation.
The night before……we go out and I gladly BUY her a black purse she needs to match the dress she is BORROWING from a friend for the event.
The next day she returns from work with a NEW black gown with a tag still on it, NEW shoes….and leftovers from chilis.

AH hafta say it takes BALLS to bring me leftovers that another man bought..….and have me buy a you a new purse for a date with another man...and still Im not connecting the dots ….

I watch as she spends three hours getting ready. Boy this is a formal event. Manicure, pedicure, makeup, hair, her friends pour over her forever as she gets ready and they take pictures once she is done.

She leaves and is gone …….all night

And doesn’t return until 6 pm ……..THE NEXT NIGHT. 6.......PM ..... thats the number six with a P and a M...you read that right. Im still calm. stupid......but calm.

The next day…..Her facebook page has 50 pictures of her and some old man in a tux arm in arm at some military ball. Her phone gets a text from him that says "good morning sunshine"….and later he texts “do you need all of the money now??”
Then I accidentally found her yahoo account open .....I looked.... sure enough....Im not sure how many other men were there...wanting a date but lets just say i didnt feel the need to count them all.
Then I found out she was back on the dating site where we had met.
Then just for fun I looked on another dating site...there she was again
and then I looked at a 3rd dating site...she was there too..all active in the last 24 hours...
Then I found another facebook page she had created with just one male friend…. She cleverly changed her name slightly to hide it from me…(how many names does that make she has now???? (Seriously…. I counted 5 versions of her name...same person).

I finally broke at that point…. A little late ya think?

I typed “amazing….you’re a piece of shit” …..send.

No remorse. These are only the highlights……Big smile..I wont bore you with all the other events which took me for a ride…..but there are more..hehehe

Love? Fail……Am I ok ? Big pass.
Trey logan ….you ..are a sooooper genius.
hahaha. But its nice to have saved ma skin and my teeth by the skin of my teeth. So seriously …this has been a success. I avoided a bad mistake.

For me: Lots of good lessons learned for me. And I don’t mind the “I told you so’s.”

For you: Don’t be afraid to let down the walls….love is still there... even though things might not go your way right now.

No one else could change my mind or
stop me coming home to you
But those days are through

Bring it…….bring a new chapter. The Love train is rolling again……Still….the journey is the goal…together…...not the destination. I am anxious for a new chapter….still…the old chapter was an interesting ride….even if a broken rollercoaster….. The gods of love chemistry just cant agree on where my girl is. LOL Am I upset? Not really……Glad my heart is intact ready to give away when its right……and I am on my way again.

Postscript: I selflabel myself as a realist...but ....i guess the punkometer needs a recal.... hehe I realize I said in this post that there were other guys wanting a date from her...... thats the 8th grade boy coming out in me. I may have missed the mark.........wide.
I could have called them johns or customers. I think this post may paint her as a scam artist..true...but i think it says alot about who I am.....and my shortcomings......oh well.... the tide shes a comin in.......gotta get ready for the next wave. Ciao


Malu said...

Oh Trey, I am so sorry to hear what a scam she is. I was so happy for you, meeting the girl of your dreams. I would have advised you to get to know her better, but you were in love, nobody could stop a bullet train, right?

Let that be a lesson for internet romance, don't be too trusting; give it time. But not everyone is a scum bag. I was burned once too (yes, internet love and we thought it's the real thing and lived together too, until I saw him and my maid flirting and he was eyeing my 8-year old-daughter too). I banished him back to the hole where he belongs. But later I found the love of my life in internet and I hope that you don't lose hope. There are decent people out there, you just have to look and find. I don't think you'd look at once, after what happened, but don't put internet matchmaking on your black list yet.

f1trey said...

Thanks Malu! Yes...it was a learning experience...We had spent a fairly long time online.... so i really felt as though I knew her..its just that she was wooing other men too.....and in my book ...thatsa deal breaker. :) the love train rolls on!

April said...

Oh God, Trey! That's fucking terrible! It sounds like it's a scam that she AND all of her little friends are running over there. I'm SO SO SO sorry this happened to you. If people are telling you, "I told you so" then they aren't real friends. This is HORRIBLE thing you went through and real friends should be by your side to console you. You were truly duped and fooled by a scum bag.

Like Malu, I found love online as well. Not from another country. It was Craigslist, which is kinda like another country. LOL. You are a good man with a heart of gold and I know that there is a good woman out there for you. I'm sorry.

f1trey said...

April- Awwwww.... youre the best! even maried your the best! hahahah Im good....... :) things were not so great for a while but its better to know this stuff early....she wanted to continue the relationship.. (go figure) even wanted to still get married..but I pressed her to tell me the truth and she finally admitted to sleeping with him....so it was easy after that.... big smile....

April said...

Sure she still wanted to get married. So she can come to the US and be a citizen then scam some other poor schmuck out of all his money after she took all of yours. She is a fucking CON. Did you ever even confirm that she has breast cancer? That could have just been some story to make you feel sorry for her to get you to bring her back to the U.S., marry her, put her on your health insurance and get her treatment.

My dad got conned twice by women in other countries. Once by one from Colombia and another from Puerto Rico. He actually married both but only brought one to the U.S. The second one, the one from PR, once he married here there, she was all, OH, by the way, I have FOUR kids that you have to take care of and bring to the U.S. as well. He hopped on a plane as fast as he could and got the hell out of there. Oh and did I mention that she lied about her age? Yeah, turned out she was only 17 and not 30.

My dad doesn't marry for love though so he's not a good example. My dad marries because he doesn't like to be alone. He's an asshole so he can't find an American woman to put up with his shit. You're a nice guy and can't find a good woman. There's a BIG difference.

Just telling it like it is said...

Oh man that sucks..be happy you didn't go threw with it...

f1trey said...

@ April...boy that sucks for your dad! Jeesh! Never confirmed the health issue with her but by then it didnt matter.... thanks for the compliment babe..im still a work in progress......the bad boy whose a good man...big smile

@ Just...ya got that right......:) Ya cant win ifn ya dont roll the dice ...so I dont regret going all the way to the wall with it...go big or go home....reload.... xoxo