whatcha ona bout girl??

whatcha ona bout girl??
A retrospective on the inner workings of love, flying pancakes, mensa disasters, dandelion cookies, number bending, super salt, bubblegum oysters, chicken spit, crystal kidneys, guerilla carrots, polychromatic tofu, paraphysics, tender vigilanties, black sand, phillastine placebos, wood soup, buttered shuttlecocks, apostrophe training, fish whips, bleeding speed, plastic fantastic lobster telephones, venus drug rehab, clowns on fire, kiosks on a leash, marshmello overcoats, bottled light, fried blood, unbridled hyperthyroidism, folding wine, amygdula tickling, fainting in coils, hamburgers for the apocalypse, plastic memes, and conjugal fritters.....well...the love parts true

Sunday, May 11, 2014

lots of will, the last testament, and an end to the kids of soda

Havent been thinkin bout bloggin lately.....  i suppose thats good and bad.  its bad that i dont have have any new crosses…….wait…....no thats a good thing.  Well...maybe Im wrong…… its only a good thing......  nothing to divest...Ive said what I needed to to those that matter….
STEP 1 One great benefit of being in a good place is ....  anybody who thinks otherwise can ....just kiss your ass..because their opinion doesnt matter........at all.  
Underestimating me is your weakness...not mine.......:) ....  I remain...a survivor and happily so...... been to HELL and back.....no shit..... Do I need to prove that to anyone....hell no.  Lets see who is STILL content in 40 years.......really......big smile
leaving all that shit behind was liberating on a scale you cant imagine....  imagine letting go of all the .....bills.........."mr logan that comes to just.....  $500.........$130......$265" .....are you kidding!!!!!!?  I dont have an extra 10 bucks!!!!.....i eat 57  cent pot pies.....cuz thats all i  can afford after child support..............complete unappreciation...... a beyond belief greedy exwife...who just smiled at me when she got her check ......no...... "thanks for the money "...just   "i think my husband and the kids will go out for a hundread dollar meal tonight "....... "I love a good meal you pay for.......while i steal your kids...oh and BTW theyll never suspect it."  LOL ..... 
SIDEBAR: I remember asking my ex why we had no money and said i wanted to see the bills.  that month our LANDLINE phone bill was over $300!!  she was calling her mom and talking long distance for an hour everyday.......ON THE LANDLINE!  we still had her cell phone bill and mine to pay for!   Im sure that was an easy $500/ month.........of  phone bills ....alone!!  Am I happy Im divorced???   You bet your ass.....
 Imagine giving up.......house payments....coworker bullshit......and I never have to hear another fucking word about who is running for president.....every fucking 15 minutes.....and how fox news analysists are confident the economy is getting better because of job growth is 1% better than yesterday...when its really the biggest pile of shit youve ever seen.......not having to listen to that crap ............EVER again???..now thats gold.....
you can call me angry........ ..nuts...... whatever....hahahahaha I sleep good.
leaving that crap behind put 30 years on my life....youre on your own kids....oh sorry...thats not true... you have your mom....  :)
the tone of this blog entry might be salty but i have the biggest smile youve ...........ever........ seen.  I wish the kids and i could have enjoyed it together.  But Im glad theyre happy.
The view here is wonderful....if your shackled life of mediocrity and hollow friendships dont soothe then maybe YOU got it wrong. 
Its ok...ive gotten it wrong before too......
But that is the past.
Tomorrow counts.........tomorrow is all you have......  
so it better count.
Still think Im not all there???  
Are you really going to argue that point???
Really?
Really?
I even get pissed off when someone tries to take advantage of me.  And after having it done so thoroughly .........…yeah I get upset… ….and Im sorry but that is

Normal.

Gonna argue that too?
Really?
Wait youre right....  Im not sorry
You thought that having your dreams crushed was no reason to get upset??????..  just  ....."let god take care of it.......he can do anything........god will take care of all your problems......if you wil let him into your heart ....really......."
ARE YOU FUCKING NUTS?
I will admit...thats a lesson i learned at the ........very .......last........ minute
Im lucky....

I have new dreams.....  ones that dont include..CRAP LIKE ... "the sign says$ 250?? " " oh im sorry you dont qualify..... its really $800... can you pay the total today? Mr logan?...." Uh.... can i kick your ass now or do I have to take a number??"
There were many times I wasn’t so sure I would out survive the abuse the world was shoveling out in over drive on overtime..
 Now Everything is different...  :) 

IM A HAPPY MAN...  :)

Ive never been an early bird....  until now...
Now I get up early.
Water the garden.....take my time....get to work early........its nice .........collecting experiences that bring a smile to my face.
Not things.
And it feels a shitload better than busting my ass for a few that didnt give a shit that i was killing myself.  Bottomless greed.  I tell you ...anyone who feels good when they GO OUT OFTHEIR WAY  to hurt someone who loves them.........WTF...who taught you that????  Looks like you havent learned a fucking thing thats important in life.  Dont call me ....eve......r if you need ANYTHING.
spend olive garden fun today...... we'll worry about tomorow ....tomor...  er.....er....or….maybe not.
True story.  I remember asking my exwife.  "when do you want to retire?"  so i could plan....take care of her ...the kids....do what it takes to make sure we were all taken care of.  
Her response?
"I like my job....i dont want to stop"
typical...  thats her plan????...what a fucking idiot
that was her plan....no plan at all......
with a big smile i can happily say .....you got what you asked for.
wait...ah the circle of life
have a stroke and a smile....
or have a coke and a stroke.
Am I happy........yes.
sorry...karmas a bitch.......
Thats fine with me cuz
I served my thankless time
and now.......
Its your turn......
 hakuna matata
did I warn everyone ...yep..beg....yep.....did they listen???  nope.
But thats not a problem i have to deal with......
Anyone who works in medicine for 30 years and still has no idea how to care for your body is a moron.
 Im sure you will give your kids great advice about.....uh......er........things like ...."oh the republicans are great"...what the FUCK would you know about politics??????
 Im sure your plan is working out just great.......
good luck kids
 my warnings were  "wrong"..........ignored.....
"your dads crazy"....
Really?
Parading around....begging people to listen to reason
...drumming the truth .....at the top of my lungs.
"cant you see what this will do?'
"dont you care about your kids future?"
"PLEASE!!!!  .......SSTOOOOOPPPP!!!!""
LOL and i was the one made out to be ........abnormal
Have a coke.
I’ll have the smile.
we deserve it

POSTSCRIPT:  Im livin!!!  Finally!! This blog has been lots of fun...  therapeutic in a way....but now i think its purpose is done........ I know ive said it before.........but I really dont think there is any more reason to spend my time with it...there is so much more for me to do in real life.......and I am truly excited to have that chance that i thought would never come.  A happy life .  Having been pushed out of the old one Its comforting to know it ended up being the best thing ever. I cant imagine ever having to return to life as it was before.  And I wont.   As a retrospective its good to flesh out the past, make sense of it and let it go.  It just took a long time to say everything i wanted to say.  Whether it got heard or not.....makes no difference..... Because I feel absolutely the happiest Ive EVER felt.  ....all the time...its not the escape of a good movie........or lasts as long as a good meal.....or a good deal on something cheap at wall mart......and then....back to the reality of relentless work and relationships without satisfaction.  EVERY day.....every few minutes....someone trying to destroy your heart...your kindness.....your honest intentions..... no relief from being drained and chased by EVERYONE.  Keep that shit....hahahaa.....Im good..  malaki ngiti

masaya ako....totoo......  paalam!  habang buhay!

1 comment:

Angela Brooks said...

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