Dude …..I got the call…….yep….this morning…..yes I warned her…..you know I did…..3 months into the marriage and she is already talking divorce. We talked about it for MONTHS….months I SAY……late night…..cell phone batteries dying….she said she was sure…..I said………it didn’t matter what I said….she wasn’t………. listening…….goofa me tooble….. snoff a poppa IBBA kibby foot ….. k? Garbage in……garbage out. Now I can’t take credit here.
Got a call from an old friend
We used to be real close
Lemme tell ya……takin out the garbage at Howard Johnsons was NOT fun. Ofcourse it had to be done at the end of the night and on a Friday……payday….. when you had a date and it was the LAST thing to do…….you were in R U S H mode……By this time you stunk from the sweat and hot dishwater that soaked you in between running to bus tables. Wet from head to foot the dishwashers would do their best to be invisible to the waitresses that still looked HOT at evenings end. Which was hard considering you stunk and were carrying 50 lbs of dirty dishes ….every time you they saw you. The floor was a slip and slide from the sloshing and stacks of hot plates would burn you as you slid from place to place cussing out your friends who were working at blockbuster. So Chad and I are wheeling out the trash to the dumpster and I stand behind him just to be safe. He pulls out this overstuffed bag full of disgusting waste and gears up to heave it into the dumpster. On the backswing…….. the bag EXPLODES…..ALL OVER ME. I am covered, and I mean COVERED in leftovers…..I am SOOOO pissed ………..and end up puking and laughing at the same time until my cheeks and side can take it no more.
It was ok. Chad was my male soul mate and my date after work was my female soul mate Valerie. A change of clothes and life was good again. Valerie and I got some beer and laid out in her driveway and we both looked up at the stars while I stroked her hair. Casual, playful talk….. Sweet smiles…..I can…..SEE …..INSIDE her when she stares at me…... Completely at ease and nothing could have been more perfect.
Chad died in a car accident. Valerie died from some prescription drug…………………….They’re……both…………….…gone…………
I’m crying as I type and my world ……..just………….stops.
Ah, but sooner or later you sleep in your own space
Either way it's okay to wake up with yourself
I don't need you to worry for me cause I'm alright
Bring it……..bring…………..what matters. The girl I gotta call from has severe kidney problems…….for starters. Her marriage is already a mess. Now a days people are anxious to talk…… they have financial problems, emotional problems, coworker problems…..marital problems. I like to be heard too. I also like to listen. Nothing pisses me off more than to talk and have someone NOT hear me. Garbage in…..garbage out…...Riiiingggg……………...Hello?
16 comments:
I'm sorry. Nobody's ever died on me. I've had a charmed life.
I'm sorry for your loss. Thats tough. The thing about blogging is that you have people listening to you even when you don't expect it. You have the people that comment all the time or the lurkers that you do not know that are even there. But you're still being heard. Take a deep breath. In and out.
Tough break, but we get up from those things. Death offers all sorts of closure I had a fiance die and I was right there as he took his last breath. You would think that type of loss would have screwed me up more than someone divorcing me - wrong. In death we know what happens & we can fill our heads and hearts with all sorts of stories & we'll never know if the come true or not.
Losing people is tough. But it adds something to our souls that's indescribable.
I hope your friend with the kidney problems figures things out and it works out for her.
I bet you're a great listener. And a great goofa me tooble giver too.
@ romantic seul- Thats not true!!!! Ill bet there 5 men buried in your back yard! hehehee JK......
@ Heather- Im fine! I just miss some old friends.......im still mad at you for having a great weekend on the boat! LOL
@ Kimberly- I didnt know that!! what else are you hiding?!!! LOL Thankfully i wasnt around when they left.... Im as strong a man as i know and friends run deep.....so i still have that feeling of loss...it makes me ....normal....
@April- I think the trick is balance ...you cant carry around emptiness, or hate, or anger forever becaue it makes you unhappy....sure you can carry it around but your the one who suffers.......
Wow. I'm sorry you lost your dear friends, I've never lost anyone close yet, and I hope I don't have to go through it.
I still love your writing style, it's like chaotic, yet all tied together. Beautiful
*hugs*
@Angie- Im so glad you like visiting!!! it makes me feel good when people understand! and hugs alwasy go over well!!! :)
Mad at moi? :) How could you? LOL
As always, nice post. You always bring it home.
Seems like you got quite a following... good for you.
:D
Ok, let's try this again... lost the comment... Anyway, as I was saying, keep talking, you are good company. the great thing about blogging is there are no blank stares, or wait a minute... we're listening. Enjoying your post because you keep it real.
@ Heather! Mad is a bit harsh isnt it???? I sowwy....... you know i dont mean it! Im just jealous you got to go on the boatlast weekend! I love the pictures BTW keep it up!
@ SL- your very kind....thanks for the cyberlove!!! I hope you get something out of visiting! Please come back!
Can I tell you? I think this is one of your best ever posts. I loved it. Made me sniffle, but that's OK. Loved it.
@ lady Di- Thanks darlin... jus bein me! I like it when people connect...workon on a new one right now......
I agree with Heather that blogging give you someone to listen where you might not expect it. It's a great thing.
This is a tough post to dig through...lots of memories and loss and laughter. The complexity of life is what gives it most of the beauty, though.
I'm sorry for your loss. It seems like you've got many 'listeners' who'd be there to hear you. I'll count myself in that group, too.
@ Amy- Thank you! I appreciate that! life is hard these days and I think that you make a wonderful point in that life has its ups and downs and its beuatiful when you see a bigger picture.....sometimes that simple message gets buried under burden and i know i feel disconnected if i let those things run my life.
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