The reunion,The fight, and the milestone

I want you to read all of this blog…..Please....I have something to say at the end. First, I wanna thank all you girls for spending time here. That’s important to me. I’m coming up ona nuther milestone. Next week will mark a whole year of bloggin. Yeah dude…..cool. I think my experience is a lot like yours. Its therapy and entertainment……and I wish I could be doing it all in person with ya cuz I love that feeling that connection brings. I hope I’ve been able to give ya sumpin worthwhile over the last year…….cause you’ve been good to me…..And I’ve thought about all of you more than you will know.…... Now I can’t take credit here.

Now most every morning I
Stare out the window and I
Think about where you might be
I've written you letters
That I'd like to send
If you would just send one to me

For years I walked to school. Rain , snow, and summer mornings it was always an adventure. I would get there just as the doors were opening so the only person there was the custodian…….. and me. The halls…….totally silent at 7 in the morning. With all that free time you would think my grades would be top notch. I gotsta tell ya
They weren’t.
I never got much prodding to do well in school…..I spent ma time loving my classmates instead. We would “pitch quarters” ifn ya know what that means. Laughing and kidding around until the bell rang at 9:05.
Ya see. Life at home …..wasnt all that fun…so I really took (and still do) take stock in making friends…that was VERY important to me ( trey logan….you ARE…… a sooooper genius).
Jacks party was……. A perfect high skool memory. A summer nite. Loud music, innocent boozing, good friends, no schedule, no worries, no curfew. Indestructable youth at its peak…..…like all boys eventually…my manhood was tested that night. Like I said, School was not a strong suit for me so I’m still not sure I passed. I……….got into a fight.
Chad and I were going to take a spin in the fiat and some guy had me blocked in. I tried to get him to move a few times and waited. To my disbelief he came over and started rocking the car. What the $%&*?????
I am NOT an angry guy but ahm tellin ya.. I FLEW outta the car ….right up against this guys chest. He was ……alot taller than me.

“IFYOUTOUCHTHISCARAGAINIMGONNAKICKYOURASS!”

He swung at me and missed. I literally grabbed him and flipped him. When he stood up….. I immediately broke his nose.
The crowd broke it up. Trey Logan Fail? ….mmmm…..doesnt get ma vote this time.
That’s when……..Valerie was suddenly glued to my side for the rest of the night. What the S%&* is she doin?? Valerie??
Later that summer we all went tubing at Goshen pass. Another perfect summer memory. Valerie somehow ended up on my tube. This …is….weird….“Is she ok??” We splashed and played all afternoon. Youth, innocence and young love. Valerie and the moron on a big black cheerio agoin downriver. Pabst a chillin in warm river water.
Lemme say..…I’m not too bright. I miss alot of stuff. Im still that way.
When senior year started she ……..started coming in to school early. Really early…… like when I was the ONLY person there. …puzzled look….O……K.
It took nearly ALL of senior year until Whitney walks up to me…… point blank “Valerie wants to go to the prom.”

“Really? Who does she like?”

She stared……paused and said…….. “Trey not EVERY girl in school is after Chad”…….and walked off. I

I……fell……………hard.

The prom was more than perfect. Hotel Roanokes ballroom was perfect. Her cousins picture, Kylene Barker, Miss America is still there on the wall.
Of course you cant leave the prom and return. The principal stood at the front door to insure we weren’t having TOO much fun. In what may be the only good decision I have ever had…..a month before the prom …….I rented a room for that nite! All nite long we…..walked passed him at the front door …..and hit the elevator button. We smiled…..…he frowned…….By the end of the evening the room was FULL…..people coming an goin….I had NO clue who everyone was….but everyone was havin a great time!!!!! Eventually it was just the two of us…….
Senior week we did what everyone did…….went to myrtle beach for a week! Yeah dude….Cut off blue jeans and flip flops……..cheap sunglasses and cases of Boones farm. Days in the sun….nights in the surf……Could life get any better??? The summer was love and smiles….. effortless, unbreakable…unshakeable wholeness. Young love that consumes all that you are…………………………………..there is nothing else but that. And nothing…….nothing will ever feel THAT good……
College started in the fall. It took only a month before she ………left me for another.
My world……….stopped. Completely.
My soul….poured out on the floor
How do you live without eating ? without sleeping? Without love? Are you really living? Is this all there is? I……cant live without that …..and now its…..just ……. Gone.
Six months into her freshman year she was wearing an engagement ring……his dad owned a jewelry store or so I had heard.
Every five years I helped organize our class reunions.
Every five years she didn’t show.
No one knew where she was. When I say no one I mean …..NO ONE. Even on the internet…..…her name just……….disappeared.
Still…….I knew one day I would see her again. So I …….waited.
Our 20 year reunion was approaching and I was adamant that we have it at the hotel where we had the prom……thinking it would be romantic….again…
She would walk in…as beautiful as the day we met……her smile would tell me yes and I would give her anything ………and everything….….forever……….
I surfed the web for nearly a year thinking surely something will pop up……..
On the last page of a lengthy search I found it.







Her obituary.













She died just two years ago.







My heart









Broke…………

And I dropped to the floor.





No.





Please



Whywhywhywhy?

SomeonetellmeandtheanswerbetterbethebestdamnthingeverimnotkiddingcauseimnotgonnastopaskingtillsomeonetellsmeananswerthatmakesmewholeagainDOYOUHEARME!!!!?



The dust settles and

I was……..not done……







I still needed to see her.







I found her dad.
He lived several hours away.
I made the call.
Her stepmom answered.
I said.







My name is









Trey

You







Don’t







Know



Me

But







Can I come and



talk to you?





ValeriewasmyhighschoolsweetheartandIjustneedtoseeher





I made the drive.

When she opened the door I came apart.









She showed me pictures of the last 20 years. We spent the afternoon together and I confessed my love……and my pain.

When I left.











I was free.









Big smile……

Free



It would take nearly 24 years after our breakup before I would fall in love again. If you find it again…..you have to do everything you can to keep it. Promise me you will do that.

This is why…………………………I preach to you……. ….keep your heart open.

Because………. Im leaving you.

I’ve made a decision……..one that’s……… not pleasant. I’ve had to make sad choices in the past but that does not ease pain that loss brings…..and I am there……..again.

My next blog will be my last.

'Cause you left me
Just when I needed you most

Bring it……….bring some peace…..cause this is hard for me. You girls deserve alot and stopping by in YOUR world has made me smile more than you realize.