The warmth of the sun, dragging truth, and the bankrupt bluff bank.

Every word of this is true and if anyone else says otherwise they are a liar.  It feels good to be back in bloggy land. Thanks for welcoming me back!!! Truth is ah probably missed yall more than you missed me hehe. Na miss mo ba ko?? Malaki ngiti!......till now ma blog has been a taste o sweet and sour chicken. I have to say... I am happy to have shared , preached, confessed ..... And even when its not been grounded its been rewarding however hard to digest or unravel for the unsuspecting visitor. I have laid to rest much here and am grateful for unslung burdens. Success like that…. It soothes like the warmth of the sun.
So now there are fresh concerns to be fleshed out...... Ones long over due..... Debts to be paid. Damn the costs..Sometimes the truth has to be dragged into the light..... And damn the fools who mistakenly think i will just…. roll over …again…….  I have nothing left to lose …..or give…. and that…… makes me angry for good reason. 

Now i cant take credit here.

You better make your face up in
Your favorite disguise
With your button down lips and your
Roller blind eyes
With your empty smile
And your hungry heart
Feel the bile rising from your guilty past

Run like hell indeed. Those that know me best know I don't bluff. It takes a lot to get me to give up but the bluff bank is bankrupt.
Those that know me the least are my children. To them I owe much... And much of this blog will be dedicated to helping build relationships torn apart by divorce. Im sure you can relate. Broadcasting bout the love train can take a back seat breather. Its my blog but its not always about me.  Joy is in the giving……

Side bar: the gf thing was going along fine…..  until she made a stop in Hawaii on the way home …..to see an exboyfriend for three days....who was married.  WTF is it with you women who just cannot be faithful.  Suko nako.

Fan.......tastic

Many more of these stories can be found at www.asktrey.blogspot.com I grew up on Peachtree Drive in Roanoke. I take that back I was born on Peachtree dr.  We lived there my mom, dad and I until I was about four years old. I have very few memories of being on Peachtree drive but I do remember going to see our friends the Argabright’s. I was always glad to go to the Argabright's because the boys Shannon, Marty, and Will had this great slot car racing track and it was huge. I did not have big toys like that and wondered why. This was about 1964 to 1967. Life was very simple I do not have many memories of that time other than going shopping from time to time At the Roanoke Salem plaza. This is a shopping mall in Salem and at Christmas we would get to ride on the train which was really a golf cart with red and green decorations pulling some wagons.  There was a Woolworths store there that had fish way in the back and I would go and stare at the fish for hours while my mom shopped. There was a little toy section and I would go look at the boxes for hours and hours. Dreaming of having something to play with.  It was only one small isle of toys but it was the whole world for me. I had no friends that I can think of and I spend most of the time at the house with my mom in a very small two bedroom house and there was no real television…and only black and white… no TV at all for kids... the only entertainment was just little simple things like blocks of wood and simple books. When I was five years old we moved to the house in Botetourt my mom and dad had built. The neighborhood was still building and they were new houses coming up all the time and there I made my first friends and went to kindergarten. Things seemed okay , dad went to work,  mom stayed home and I would go to first grade in a very small school. Back then Troutville elementary was a collection of trailers and a main building with a gym and the cafeteria was…… a small room in the basement.  Joy was in the form of pizza or hotdogs for lunch or jump rope and hopscotch at recess. 

We only had am radio and then of course only in the car.  No tapes, cds or even 8 track tapes back then. But the music was still magic…carol king, three dog night…Chicago. Could it get any better? …don’t answer that…..because it didn’t really.   Not complaining that we only had one  real station…wrov. At least that’s all I remember. 

I was a busy little kid running and playing and sometimes getting into trouble….. my parents weren't bad to me..... But there was definitely something missing as they never seemed to really take an interest in anything I did. I was a very inquisitive little boy but whenever I asked my parents questions about things they never seem to have any of the answers and seemed bothered that I would ask them questions.   Like I was in the way . I know times were hard for them ……the new family getting started but I never got the affection  that a little child should. So from a very very young age I learned to depend on myself. My sister came along when I was five and I have to say that I never treated her as a big brother should.,. which I regret deeply.  I was off doing my own thing playing with rocks and sticks and mud and rain and running. Riding my bike along the street  for hours…. making little jumps and ramps. I was always having fun even if it was by myself. I was a well mannered boy in public but I was given to mischief and playing pranks. But I guess the biggest thing was that I was in charge of my world. My mom used to take me to the YMCA for swimming lessons when I was six. She would leave me there with all the other inner-city kids and some of them did not even have bathing suits so they would go naked. My dad would sometimes buy me warm cashews from kmart as a atreat.  Over the years I would form many relationships Many of them very close…. Jack Fralin's dad was a doctor, Johnny Fralins's dad was an architect, Jody Emicks was a judge, joel woods was a psychologist…. My best friend eventually turned out to be Chad…we had much in common….his dad had abandoned him as well.  One thing was certain …….I was the kid from the wrong side of the tracks..

Red light: None of this is an excuse for not being a good dad.  I own my mistakes.

Green light: This is an attempt to reach my children to let them know about the father they never got.  I would love to know what I missed as well.

For my daughter:  Im sorry I have not been there for you.  It hurts me not to be the good father you deserve.  But chin up baby girl.

For my son:  Don’t be a poser.  Guitar hero is not playing guitar. Nothing will take the place of being proud of your own achievements. 

You better run

Bring it......... Bring what you can. But bring your best. You can’t fix the past....but you can repair the future.

Postscript:  I want to explain that any contact I have with my kids is an opportunity for my exwife to steal more money from me that she doesn’t deserve.  I have overpaid her for years and it’s no secret she is financially irresponsible and the cost to my kids and myself have been enormous.  I would rather die than over pay her one more cent. Those that know me best …….know……..I don’t bluff.

Postscript Deux: The gf thing turned out worse…and more of the same.  Two weeks after the Hawaii trip she gave her number out to another married man who promptly texted and asked if she was available for coffee that weekend..hahaha so that was the end of that.