High infidelity, Wool, and Revenge sex

You know me dude……. I always say reality trumps all. Yeah dude…I know…..thats a kill joy. My bloggy girls are NOT going to like this. But l also say truth is best. Of course I say that…….. but am not always able to deliver.
I do like noticing differences between men and women. ….big smile….. nothing is better for communication than for me to listen or a mile in my partners shoes……I get JACKED when it comes……..when I say… “I get you”…….man that’s a good feeling. Now I can’t take credit here.

As soon as you are able
Woman I am willing
To make the break that we
Are on the brink of
My cup is on the table
Our love is spilling
Waiting here for you to
Take and drink of

High infidelity indeed…….
I was reading this weekend about what leads men to stray and why women have “revenge sex”. Men are apparently forgiving of other men for issues of infidelity. Women it seems aren’t forgiving of other women who step over the line. The article didn’t really paint a good picture of things. Women tend to protect a relationship if it starts to go sour and men…….look for opportunities. I think women look at consequences….men look at the consequences of getting caught. I’m putting that nicely. The article went on to tell guys what they could do to be MORE faithful. ….It had ……completely useless suggestions….like….dont do it……be closer to your spouse……think of what your giving up….dont do it…..dont be tempted…..and………don’t do it. Fab…u….lous. Chuh…..right. Advice?....FAIL. I'm a serial monogamist. My own fidelity I dont worry about. Catching my love is much more of a task.
Women I think idealize a relationship and men tend to be more reality based. Like I say reality trumps all. I don’t hear many men say things like “you should like what you do……….theres somebody for everyone…….everything happens for a reason”. In a man’s vocabulary, day to day, these concepts just don’t enter into why the cars busted or how were going to fix the sink.
The movie AVATAR works because it moves back and forth from reality to ...fantasy....you have to have BOTH to make the story work. Fantasy alone wont cut it. Yes..I am sooooper genius. I can see WHY women “hope” for things. But men don’t “hope”……..we are NOT on the same page here. It will be or it won’t be. Hope changes nothing. See…I KNEW you weren’t going to like this. But that’s how we think. We don’t think about how the world “should” be. Ok ..little play on words there…we don’t really think at all.
Now as cold as all this sounds it makes more sense to a man to think this way than to…….have a distorted body image. To watch a soap opera like it was real life. To think things are good even when its obvious……they suck. Speakin ma ugly piece here. Men may very well need to “grow up” but which of us is living in a fantasy?.....(ahm gonna get slapped for that)…..
Peace…. I don’t mean for that to condemn..…hopefully it will spawn some introspection. Think about it. The same “hope” you sprinkle to keep your spirits up….prevents you from seeing that he’s……… a cheater….a drug addict….a liar. .I know I don’t like it when the wool gets pulled over my eyes…..but I only compound the problem if I refuse to see the wool at all. Ya know?...seein its one thing…DOING something about it is another. Personally I like you in something that makes you feel beautiful when I put my fingers in your mouth and your hips tighten with just the right amount of constant pressure…and….. your breathing …you have …..to ….hold while it moves through you in waves…..…..wool just doesn’t work here.

So if you're tired of the
Same old story
Turn some pages
I'll be here when you are ready
To roll with the changes

Bring it………..bring some reality. Which do you think will serve you better? HOPING she’ll leave her current boyfriend or……The harsh reality that……she’s taken.
If you want to understand a man you have to think a bit like one. Sorry.
There have been times in my past that I just did not WANT to see the wool….and I suffered for that….. Nowadays….. I see a bit more clearly and it’s no longer a shame to let something go because my partner was too selfish, or too conceited to fix a mistake. Reality? Check……

The fairytale, a polliwog, and magnum PI

I want to thank all you girls for spending time at ma blog. It makes me feel rather good when you leave a comment and I preciate it! …big smile……
When I was a private investigator I saw plenty of folks pretty much……in torment. Yeah dude…guys…girls…it didn’t make any difference. People’s lives were getting torn up. Searching for answers. Searching for someone. Making themselves into someone…… different. I remember that time for myself and I was frantic to uncover the truth. That’s why I got into the PI thing in the first place. To kinda help folks get through it cause I had been there maself.
An old girlfriend of mine said “I don’t understand why you can take two, intelligent, educated people, who are in love……….but you can’t make their marriage work.” I have to admit…...that befuddled me too. To her discredit….she’s on her third marriage right now……Im sure shes thinking third times a charm and ahm thinkin…....three strikes and your out. Yeah dude, I have a feeling this one will end up on her scrap heap too. Really I should go easy on her…… affairs of the heart sometimes sound like an episode of unsolved mysteries. And Im no Robert Stack. LOL More Like Leonard Nimoy on “In search of”……… who thinks he’s Magnum PI. instead of ……….Monk. Now I cant take credit here.

Where you going?
What you looking for?
You know those boys
Don't want to play no more with you
It's true

If you’re looking for a prince …then the swamp is no place to find anything but frogs. What’s a princess doing in the swamp anyway? I guess some turn out to be lucky frogs ifn ya get ma drift. LOL I guess if you follow that tale more closely …..Doesn’t the frog have to TURN into a prince? Oh dude. LOL fairytale…. FAIL. I think people normally think the moral is….. you have to go through a lot of losers to find Mr.right.. .I had someone tell me they thought it meant “don’t believe what guys say” I’m not so sure that’s the ONLY message. I don’t believe you can CHANGE someone else into what you want.. You probably don’t either. Yes….I am a sooooper genius.
I have to admit I hide a bit of myself when I start dating someone. If I told you I LOVED jazz……. Im not so sure the look on your face would be very approving. There I said it. I’m guilty. I’m not as forthcoming about myself upfront. This is NOT good. I preach about communication and…….I’m NOT taking my own advice. Yeah dude…gotta work on that.
I think most would take offense if your partner suggested you “change” something about yourself. Enter……..the divorce. Oh yeah dude…we got some changin agoin on now! But ya know? I hear a lot of people say the relationship has “changed” or the partner has “changed” and that its NOT what it used to be. I don’t hear many folks say that “they’re” the one that’s changed. It’s always the partner. I think that’s interesting. I’m pretty big on TRYING to look at my own shortcomings before I decide it’s the enemies fault. Never the less… what in this world stays the same?

Sister Christian
Oh the time has come
And you know that you're the only one
To say O.K.

Bring it……….bring some compatibility. You know? It takes a confident frog not to be jealous or controlling. I AM happy in my skin. If I do my part right…… Im bringing out the best in my lover….not changing them. I see a lot of frogs dead in the road. They probably deserve to have the $%!T squashed out of them. I’m still learning…....a polliwog in the rough. If I’m lucky….I just might turn into………a frog. I think that’s ok………I just………. Want another tadpole to love and spoil along the way.

A nice guy, The missed signal, and cupids arrow

Booyaaa!!!! Yeah dude my buddy just got it!! Been fightin an uphill battle with a friend of mine who has been dancing at the whim of a fishing girl. She fishes …….she dangles ……and he……..pants and jumps up and down. She……..tells him no….and calls back a few weeks later…….and it starts all over again. “what can I do to get her back?” he asks at least 3 times a week.
“Dude……… she sent you several emails saying she wasn’t interested. What part of that do you NOT get?”
“But she said I was a nice guy!!!”
“AND….whats your point? You ARE a nice guy…..but you still DON’T get it”. Now I can’t take credit here.

Don't take your love away from me
Don't you leave my heart in misery
If you go then I'll be blue
'Cause breaking up his hard to do

I have another friend with the same problem. Shes…….backpeddling out of the relationship and her man……..doesn’t get it. Women seem to have a completely different philosophy when it comes to the “how to’s “ of breaking up. (don’t hit me here….I make blanket statements from time to time….generalizations don’t ALWAYS apply…….I hear ya!). I have another friend I am SOOOPER proud of. She ended the relationship by saying
“Nothing you say or do will change my mind. I want a divorce.” He wasn’t listening. “how about counseling?”
“Nothing you say or do will change my mind. I want a divorce.”
“What if we spent some time apart?”
“Nothing you say or do will change my mind. I want a divorce.”
He got it. No ambiguity there. Message?......... PASS!
This is a picture of the gym I work out at. It’s beyond Spartan. There’s another place in town…..but I don’t even consider it. I like where I am. Not even going to consider switching. Breakin ma workout up is NOT an option. I’m not listening to the enticements of a cleaner, nicer facility.
Men have selective hearing. I hear women say that a lot. Not going to argue. I think your’e right!!!. We hear what we want. I can’t say this is a good thing. I have to work on that myself. I admit it. My personal history is overfraught with………”how did I miss that?”
There is a dynamic here that I think women overlook when they’re trying to break up. They mean well but they…… give mixed signals. Conflicting even…..hey …we’re guys…….were easily confused.
In an effort to “make it painless” women backpeddle…….very slowly saying touchy feely things interlaced with the REAL message. Saying “

You’re a nice guy
you will find someone
I’m not ready
Im going out with the girls”

And then…… for added effect….you shut down…..hoping he’ll “get the hint”.
He wont. Know why? You never said……… “its over”. Instead you have a ten minute discussion about how things aren’t working. In your mind you’re saying.

No
No
No
Youre a nice guy
No
No
No.

Guess what he hears..…..go ahead …….guess. Ready?

“Im a nice guy”. WOW I have a chance!!
Yeah we have selective hearing. But if the message is buried……hidden under sweet words designed to let him down easy and full of low level compliments…….why WOULD he get it? Breakup..…..FAIL.

They say that breaking up is hard to do
Now I know, I know that it's true
Don't say that this is the end
Instead of breaking up I wish that we were making up again

Bring it…………..bring the gods of communication. Hehehe Say what you mean….mean what you say. Im sure THAT makes sense. I just am NOT good at reading tween the lines. I thought that was just……...space. When you’re in love you really want to be understood. Don’t you? I mean……you want to KNOW he cares and loves you too……with zero distortion …..No? You don’t want him to guess whether you love him…..do you? Would you want to have to guess at whether he loves you or not? I want that message…….crystal. When I look in your eyes I want to feel your heart. The message…..I love you doesn’t come with kindas or maybes. What good is that? Cupids arrow hits me in the heart. If you’re trying to break up with me…a shot in the leg wont do it…...you better aim for my heart again.

Tunnel light, the journal, and the death of a dream

Got a couple of married friends……..for now. They’re …….trying to find a way out. Yeah dude. Death of a dream. The honeymoon is over. Both girls have suffered about 20 years of unhappy marriages. That conditions folks….ya know? My 10 year ………festival of pain was………different than these girls. One girl is wearing the pants in the family. The other girl is smothered. Ya know the type? Take a second. I want those to sink in.
When you ask someone what went wrong……you get a host of different answers. “He cheated. He was hooked on pain killers. He drank all the time. He cheated. He was addicted to porn. He was too controlling. He cheated.”
I should have known my ex and I weren’t compatible …....during our first date. Ready?.......my first missed signal was……she cheated on her boyfriend to go out with me. Yeah……I was NOT paying attention. It was TOTALLY my fault. Not hers. Hehehe. Ready again? She…..fell asleep that first date…….during ……Silence of the lambs. Yeah dude….seriously. I .……either laugh then cry or cry then laugh about it. I sure can pick em!!!! Common sense? FAIL.
I have to insert a bit of trivia here or it will be forgotten forever...... I actually called off our first date......but she never got the message I sent in time and so she showed up. Either way its all good. Gotta bit of seasoning now. So Im OK dude. With all this in mind I run into very few folks that say “boy I sure wish we’d have worked that out”. Now I can’t take credit here.

Somethin' happened along the way
What used to be happy was sad
Somethin' happened along the way
And yesterday was all we had

I have to say I like seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. For me the process of recovering from marriage was easier than my two friends who have a LONG road ahead. That dark tunnel is much longer for one of the two. When you try to point them in the direction of the exit where there’s light …..you get all this….. resistance. Its understandable. You live under the lash of a whip for too long and………. All sorts of things make the way out impossible to get to. A road map in the dark is NO help......and there is .......only the deep pain that comes from being trapped. A locked cage doesn’t offer much in the way of exit signs for someone who’s been beaten down for 20 years. What you find is someone who CANT make decisions…WONT make decisions….or doesn’t EVEN know they can make a decision. So….round and round it goes.
I like lending an ear. I get a lot out of listening more so than talking. When I was getting divorced it was hard to find a sounding board that didn’t come with hollow advice. So I took to making a diary of my thoughts. A kind of journal….. that allowed me to get things off my chest and clear my head. Pen and paper therapy really helped me free up my heart and soul. Its easy to have unresolved issues when theres a break up….. Yes I AM a soooper genius! So I try to tell folks to write down whats going on………I think it helps to detangle a process that for many is chaotic and directionless.
I have to put this in here. Now that the marriage has been over for several years…. Im still having some bad luck! Please don’t take offense if you have any sort of disability…ok? My neighbor is about 35. He’s on welfare… no job……130 lbs…..and has one arm……He also has a 19 year old girlfriend. I MUST be doin sumpin wrong. Oh well….good on him…. Ill just have to stay in the self service isle for now.


And oh, after the love has gone
How could you lead me on
And not let me stay around
Oh, oh, oh, after the love has gone
What used to be right is wrong
Can love that's lost be found?

Bring it……….bring some light…..If your having a hard time seeing you can borrow mine. I like sharing light. It makes me smile. I know you’d do the same for me. There’s light at the end of the tunnel. ……. See ya outside.

2010, a balloon, and the treadmill of love.

Ok dude, I deserve it. I’m……..gettin some laughs at the gym. Granted…….gym rats are NOT the brightest bunch but you try something unorthodox and ……..down comes the hammer. Your’e a target for months for thinking outside the box. Lemme say I DONT like thinking inside the box. That gets you.......divorced. People LOVE to bring you down if they can. Being a running back, EVERYONE on the defense wants to kill you anyway.
I was trying to think of some interesting ways to work my lower body. Since I DON’T have a girlfriend, I’ve been trying to work my lower body in ways that football players just ……….laugh at. Like………. Kicking a balloon around the gym with ankle weights. OK………so……..yeah I know it looks…….funny.
It won’t look so funny when football season hits.
It is the New Year and no…I don’t have any resolutions. Surprise surprise. Just a schedule Im going to keep in my training. The trick is ……..to keep varying the workout. Change it up. Try something different.
I hate running. HATE IT!!!! I don’t mind sprint drills (never said I was smart), but I cant stand the monotony of jogging on a treadmill….. for even just 20 minutes. Pa……..thetic. Now I can’t take credit here.

Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes
Just gonna have to be a different man

I heard a comedian the other day laughing about why relationships lose their romance. He said “all the tricks I use to get a woman in bed the first time I don’t need after a year…… cause she’s going to bed with me anyway.” Ok…..…so it was funny…….tragically accurate….…but funny.
I got to thinking about it and he does have a point. If you want your relationship to fail you might as well do what your friends are doing. Small sarcastic tone there……. But really there is something to that. Ever had a relationship that you thought was going along fine and all of the sudden you find out …....its over…... You thought things were going good and steady? Well.....maybe they were. Maybe that was the problem. I think it has something to do with repetition…… routine…….. Yes I AM a soooper genius.
Without a doubt everyone will agree that you have to mix things up to keep the relationship healthy. A show of hands isn’t necessary…I mean it’s a given that we all think so…right? So……...why doesn’t that happen? If the relationship is SO important you would think that BY NOW …..some of us would take heed. Myself included.
Lemme say I like learning something new…… I think its cool. Im just built that way. If stagnation is sure death for love then Im for mixing it up. Wow Trey…..thats brilliant. Well…..I think words and intentions don’t cut it. Just cause you “think” about mixing it up doesn’t mean it happens. Say what you mean, mean what you say. I DO try to mix it up. Romance is a learning process for guys. Some learn……..others….well……..don’t. If your man can’t figure out that you NEED romance outside the bedroom….. you might be hangin around for a handout that never comes. ON THE OTHER HAND. A woman who does the same thing over and over in the bedroom will eventually find her man is only in it …..for two minutes…..and he wont stay there long. Eventually he will find another bed. Relationship FAIL. Don’t blame him for doing the same thing over and over….. if YOUR doing the same thing over and over. I hear women jump all over guys……. that they can’t stay faithful. If the room is dull I either change it…..or change rooms. There is SOME reasoning behind that I think.
But this is a two way street. I can’t point fingers unless I have a mirror in the other hand. Throwin rocks in a glass house is NOT the best idea. So if I’m preachin, I better be listenin too.

Time may change me
But I can't trace time

Bring it…..….bring something new. Yeah it’s a new year. So its time for a change. You never hear a man say he wants to be romanced. Only women read romance novels….but that too is a problem. Men don’t read that stuff. And I think women set themselves up for disappointment when they think that a man is supposed to BRING them romance and a woman’s responsibility is just to receive it. POOF!!.......ready made…..but really….what ROMANTIC things do YOU actually do? What? Clean the house? Wash his undies? Vacuum? I really appreciate it when those things happen…..I say so…..and I pitch in too….but Im not so sure men equate sweeping with love. Ask your man which hed rather have. I doubt he would choose sweeping. Just like men wrongfully equate bringing home a paycheck as love. It’s not. One thing is for sure. You do it …like you did before and you just might NOT get it …….again…… Here’s to 2010 !!

Romance, the stars, and the Zagnut effect

People give me flak for spending a lot of time at the gym. “Youre overtraining” “you need recovery time” “why are you here all the time?” hehehe …yeah dude. I admit it…… I work out pretty hard. One thing is for sure. I like results. One thing I do NOT like is NOT getting out what you put into something. That’s life I guess. Some things don’t always produce the results you want, even when you put in the effort. Ya know? School, work, kids, marriage…...I can see how romance gets trampled under the modern foot….Yeah dude…. All things being equal I can see how romance has the deck stacked against it…… So I like going to the gym because I know I will get out of it what goes in. I think its interesting that other people don’t see it this way. They see it as “overtraining”. I kinda see it as dedication and commitment. Now I can’t take credit here.

My love must be a kind of blind love
I can't see anyone but you.

I like that formula. Effort = Results. You can’t say that about everything. I have this ………program….. that works really well in the gym. I’m not OCD about it…but it definitely works…. So I stick with it.
There’s this one guy that comes to the gym all the time and he…..just doesn’t get it. He pushes…he pulls…he lifts….but he’s the same size he was 2 years ago pushing the SAME amount of weight he did 2 years ago. I really want to take him aside and explain what’s wrong with his program….because it pains me to see him put in the effort and get NO results.
The same thing happens when I diet. People always say “you cant do that!!” Really?.......watch me……3 weeks later I lose the weight and people still have the bad sense to say “You cant diet that way”…… Really? …I just did….. and the weights GONE…..what’s wrong with this picture???
I’ve always said… if you want to be smart….do what smart people do….if you want to be rich …do what rich people do…… if you want to be thin…… do what thin people do.
If you want to be in love…do what people in love do…..yeah dude Im a soooper genius. If your taking relationship advice from your girlfriends …who are on their third marriage….consider the source……please.
I want to clue you girls in on why guys aren’t that romantic. Ready????
No one showed them how. Echo..…echo…...echo.
The total amount of relationship advice a boy is given by his father is “turn the wrench to the right to make it tighten and left to loosen…got it? Rightey tighty lefty loosey….can you remember that son?
At no point in time during the football game does dad turn down the sound and say “son make sure you don’t yell at your wife”. Dad apparently yells at the redsocks… and when the mower blows up……so…...were told its ok to yell.
Girls are playing adult when they’re six years old. No wonder your’e ahead of us! Lemme say point blank now that this is where there is always some girl who comments “I didn’t do that”…….Bull…all you girls have played school, teacher, cooking or dolls at some point in time. You may be a tom boy, climb trees an all but you DID play grownup at ONE point in your childhood. I cant STAND it when someone says “not everyone did that” yes I understand your point… 0.2 % of the population REALLY hammers your point home. There goes my theory ….yep……right down the drain. Don’t know WHAT I was thinking ….girls and dolls….boy was I wrong. Chuh……..right. I call this the zagnut effect. At NO point in time has anyone EVER said “yeah…….while your in there …….get a me a zagnut” As soon as I proclaim this….50 people stand up and go “Oh man …..I LOVE zagnuts and I say that three times a week!” Bull $(%)^.
Where was I?.......Oh yeah…. Guys just don’t have much in the way of real world role models for romance. So we don’t really have much to go on. What’s worse I hear women say “he should know what I want” Wow…now THATS a recipe for communication success. Men are supposed to read your mind and know what you want. Women are better communicators? Im not so sure. Romance FAIL. I’m not too hip on the idea that my love life is tied to my ability to mind read. If so ..…I’m in trouble..…and so are you.

Are the stars out tonight?
I don't know if it's cloudy or bright
I Only Have Eyes For You, Dear.

Bring it………..bring something in your eyes. You can read all the romance novels, watch all the soap operas and new moons you want… but if you don’t help us with what turns you on …….we’re just going to continue getting poor marks in the romance department. I’m lucky. I get it. I like being a rock… and I like the feeling of making my woman feel safe and secure. Taking out the trash without being asked….. and not spending the extra cash on some more video games. Hehehe. But I had to figure that out on my own. I’m not complaining. It’s a great place to be. But think about it. Where is your man going to get a lesson in what romance is??…..…unless its from you.

The tango, a snow man, and a bag of bones

Oh man did we GET some snow. Its making things difficult. Beautiful….but difficult. Yeah dude…. I have NOT done my Christmas shoppin yet…… The car is snowed in and may not come out till Tuesday…..not good…. Christmas is coming SOON! I walked 3 miles to the gym and back on Saturday and spent 5 hours….walked again to the gym on Sunday…..New ankle weights and the snow turned the trek in to an exercise…….Oh well….when it snows…..make a snowman I guess.
I have several folks on my mind lately …..all having a rough personal time with their lovers. All for various reasons but… its hardship that’s proving tough…...testing…….questioning……..doubting……..is it over? How do I handle this? What now?
The good times are easy.
Suffice it to say some handle the pressure better than others…. But handling the pressure doesn’t fix the issue does it? I like being able to hit curveballs but if I don’t run the bases what good is it? Now I can’t take credit here.

Under pressure
Under pressure

Dude I am not the best at pickin up the pieces but two things come to mind. 1) What am I doing to help fix the problem that’s within my power (if I can save this thing) 2) What am I going to do now because ……its over. Yes….I AM a sooooper genius…. Aren’t I? LOL. But tell me ...if this is such common sense then why is it that people drag on.....revisiting the same questions with no resolution...over and over.?
I have to laugh because for our anniversary I bought my wife dance lessons thinking it was romantic and fun. Im half Italian so I was ready to pour the hot blood with a rose in my teeth. ..learning the Charleston, big band music…the two of us arm in arm having a good time…..learning the tango……well…it takes two…the money was wasted…….we never used the lessons….. Just like the bicycle built for two… I bought one for another anniversary thinking it would be romantic…. Her response? “why didn’t you just buy two bikes?” LOL……Romance? PASS…….Partner? FAIL.
When I went to take my SAT’s on a Saturday morning I was….. unprepared. Yeah dude…NO tools in the tool box. So I wasn’t looking forward to the experience and getting out of the car I………slammed my thumb in the door.
“YEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!!!” …..A………MM……MM…..A……$%&@! I could barely speak…my thumbnail black and blue, swelling by the second with pressure from the blood. I had to hold it over my head to keep from passing out and I stumbled in to the testing area, dazed. One arm permanently frozen ……above my head.
Question was…...just like my marriage…..what was I going to do now??....... Grit my teeth and go on. No choice.
It wasn’t pleasant…it wasn’t fun….but when I resigned myself to the fact that there was no alternative… I got peace……I got comfort. The results weren’t pretty but I KNEW I would survive…..NO question.
I’ve had relationships that were very important to me go bad. Question was…what was I going to do with the bones? What was I going to do to make sure I didn’t feel bad THIS weekend? next month? Next YEAR?? I don’t want to be reliving this ONE MORE TIME. What good would come from carrying a bag of bones around for a year?
Its OK to grieve….that’s normal….the end of love stinks for sure. Get it out. Let it go. When we were in marriage counseling….my ex-wife wanted some pills to help her through it…the therapist’s response? "No…..you need to feel what’s happening”. LOL She was very good at avoiding A LOT of things (she had another Dr. prescribe stuff anyway). I’ts ok …it was ALL beyond my control.

Can't we give ourselves one more chance
Why can't we give love that one more chance
Why can't we give love give love give love give love
give love give love give love give love give love

Bring it…..…bring your best. I hear a lot of folks talk about the other person when they’re breaking up. It’s NOT about the other person. Its about YOU. If it’s beyond your control….let it go. Trust me… you look a lot sexier without a bag of bones on your back. I can think of other things that would look good there! Hehe.
I can meet you. But I can’t walk through the snow AND bury your bones. I could. But I wont. And waiting till the snow melts? …..If you do...well…then ....my beauty its just………..water.

Parade rain, sour grapes, and PD's of A

Cool dude. I like to see people happy. What a good feeling. Ya know?? Gonna speak ma piece here. Its probably gonna hit some folks the wrong way. So….be prepared!! And I have to admit I don’t like being the voice of dissent because I really have a problem with letting people around me down, or alienating them because my thoughts are a bit different. Yeah dude that just gets me down. If youre sellin sour grapes.....I'm not buyin. I tend to try and see those things that we have in common because for me there is comfort in that. REAL connection is almost a drug…… ya know? Nothing feels as good as when I GET YOU…… Connection to someone else is very satisfying. That’s why communication breakdown and failure is interesting to me………Now I can’t take credit here.

There have been times in my life
I've been wondering why
Still somehow I believed
We'd always survive
Now I'm not so sure

Public displays of affection. Im ……for it. Sorry. Go ahead. Say it…..…..Say it……. .EEEYOO……. YUCK……..GET A ROOM……DO THEY HAVE TO DO THAT? …..IM GONNA BE SICK……
Yeah, Yeah….I get your point. …. I think….. You have sour grapes and would rather rain on someone’s parade cuz YOUR love life sucks………..haha …wait ….what?...... That wasn’t your point? I missed it?
Ok then what WAS your point? …..that….they ….just….um…shouldn’t…….um……do that….in public…yeah…...YEAH, That’s my point!!! Because……..because….I shouldn’t have to see it!
Lemme hang it out there. If you have a problem with that then………I agree….you have a problem. They don’t. Do you think for half a second that two people deep in love give a flip about what you don’t care to see? Case closed.
Excuse me for having feelings. I mean...my love life might suck too..so I understand ...but you dont see me raining on someones elses parade.
I talked to a guy the other day and asked him how his marriage was going……to my discredit I half expected the typical answer. Instead I got “ Good……..its good…..I mean ..we have our differences …but the good times far outweigh the bad”. SCORE dude. A drink of the good stuff. I was glad for them, ya know??? Love??...PASS...sour grapes?...FAIL
I spend A LOT of time in the gym. Its trash talk and testosterone on the football field. Head butting, shut the F(&^ up and HIT somebody……hurt them if you can mentality. I’m a running back so I’m THE target. So I welcome a taste of the good stuff.

Are you gonna wait for your sign, your
miracle
Stand up and fight
This is it
Make no mistake where you are
This is it
You said that maybe it's over
Not if you don't want it to be
For once in your life, here's your miracle
Stand up and fight
This is it

Bring it…………bring that connection that only love brings. I understand if you have sour grapes over hearing about other peoples bliss…its hard when the love train isn’t stopping in your town... but to me sour grapes is really just wine in disguise. Your time will come. Nothing makes me happier than to have someones head on my chest …all curled up where the two of us fit together from head to foot. Real intimacy doesn’t come along very often…. Yeah I’m a sooooper genius…But every day you pass that up……when it shows up.….. Cuz your stubborn, protective, scared even…….makes me want to frown. I know it can be hard to be flexible but …. just don’t hand me sour grapes. Instead I’d rather you be ready…..
Cause its hard to beat love in the shower while you drink southern comfort from my hand. Whats wrong with red, white, or a merlot?....nothing…. ill be happy to take a shot of Jack if you promise not to bring sour grapes…….another round for the house ifya please!

Barb wire, the ghost, and a crash and burn

Yeah dude. Some things just do NOT go as planned. Think about it. Education, raising kids, career, health, marriage (LOL)……..the nearly second marriage (hehe) Ida done it again. What you expect isn’t what you get. Yeah I’m a sooooper genius. …. Were the same. You and me. I’ve put my best foot forward….…and fallen flat on ma face. Well……. no ones perfect. Every once in a while something does come along. And it FEELS…………. perfect. Thats why 8th grade love has a real hold over me. Just ONCE it would be nice to not crash AND burn. Cuz nuthin else seems to go as planned. Even this post……. I couldn’t seem to pick and choose what parts of this song to leave out…… ..because its exactly the way I feel. Its perfect just as it is. Now I can’t take credit here.

There's a letter on the desktop
that i dug out of a drawer
the last truce we ever came to
in our adolescent war
and i start to feel the fever
from the warm air through the screen
you come regular like seasons
shadowing my dreams
and the mississippi's mighty
but it starts in minnesota
at a place that you could walk across
with five steps down
and I guess that's how you started
like a pinprick to my heart
but at this point you rush right through me
and i start to drown
and there's not enough room
in this world for my pain
signals cross and love gets lost
and time passed makes it plain
of all my demon spirits
i need you the most
i'm in love with your ghost
i'm in love with your ghost

It was 10th grade and I had just gotten my license. Oh yeah dude…time to IMPRESS all the lovely L A D I E S…………My first date with Brenda was…….my last date with Brenda…. y…….eah….. It didnt go as planned. Not….AT all dude. I kinda ……..talked my way into it.. She wasn’t real interested. But I don’t back away from a challenge easily. I’m dancing, Im singin, I’m telling jokes, I’m ……….making a fool out of myself. It’s like a bad vaudeville carnival act on espresso……and a five hour energy just to make sure I maximize being retarded. I just could NOT act normal around her.
Where was I?
Oh yeah…… so…. she agrees to a date and I plan on continuing my barrage of bad timing and juvenile jokes to the sound of crickets crying…….
But this time I have…..the FIAT. Oh yeah dude… what girl can resist the top down red Italian convertible? I spent about 3 hours polishing and vacuuming every square inch.
I cant lose……..or so I thought.
I tortured her for about 3 hours. Exhausted, I had tried every stupid trick in the book and in the end I was racing to get her back home …….just to end it. I HAVE GOT to get this OVER with!!! Mayday! Mayday! I’m going DOWN!! CAN YOU SEE THESE FLAMES? GOD ITS HOT IN HERE!!!! IS ANYBODY WATCHING THIS? OH….GOD….…. MAYBE I CAN CHANGE MY NAME…… MOVE OUT OF STATE….IS THIS HOW PRISONERS OF WAR FEEL?? …..OH PLEASE MY SWEET LORD…IM BEGGING YOU…...HELP ME!!!!!……JESUS WAS ONLY ON THE CROSS FOR THREE DAYS….THIS IS GOING TO LAST …FOR…….EVER!!!!
So I get her home and the awkwardness is almost over. I keep the car running and put it in reverse while she gets out. She waves goodbye and I gun it…………miss the driveway COMPLETELY…… going backwards….. over the hill……. out of site…… and crash into a barbwire fence.
Per…..…..fect.
I turn the stereo off….
And sit there…..
“ARE YOU OK????”
“yeah…...I’m…..….. fine……I……….how bout you?”
She comes running down the hill.
“are you sure?”
“I’m…..…fine……thank you.”
“I don’t think you’re going to be able to get out of here without driving along the fence.”
“I’m…..yeah”. I was looking straight ahead……. a blank stare……the car…pinned up against the fence. She was talking….
“ifna s upa foo tay kooble pooma fee..........pooma fee??”…but I just wasn’t listening. I started the car up…….put it into gear and……
The sound of raking finger nails down a chalkboard was deafening….. the barb wire SCREAMED……taking all the paint off the side of the car as I went…… finally……I made it up to the road………and I……. just kept going.
Yeah dude …..date……FAIL.
That did not go as planned. Crash AND burn.


dark and dangerous like a secret
that gets whispered in a hush
(don't tell a soul)
when i wake the things i dreamt about you
last night make me blush
(don't tell a soul)
and you kiss me like a lover
then you sting me like a viper
i go follow to the river
play your memory like a piper
and i feel it like a sickness
how this love is killing me
i'd walk into the fingers
of your fire willingly
and dance the edge of sanity
i've never been this close
i'm in love with your ghost
unknowing captor
you never know how much you
pierce my spirit
but i can't touch you
can you hear it
a cry to be free
oh i'm forever under lock and key
as you pass through me
now i see your face before me
i would launch a thousand ships
to bring your heart back to my island
as the sand beneath me slips
as i burn up in your presence
and i know now how it feels
to be weakened like achilles
with you always at my heels
this bitter pill i swallow
is the silence that i keep
it poisons me i can't swim free
the river is too deep
though i'm baptized by your touch
i am no worse than most
in love with your ghost

Bring it………….bring love that’s effortless. Yeah I was jumping through a lot of hoops. For what? Some things just don’t go as planned. I’ve tasted love that’s effortless and I admit…….. I miss it. Crashing and burning just is NOT fun. But I learned a lot from it. Be myself first. Leave the sophomore tricks to the sophomores. Been there…..done that. But I do my best to learn from a mistake. And this was valuable dude. Really. It cost me a lot to get the car fixed but it was worth it in the long run. My next car was a piece of crap sunbird, and I learned a lesson there too. Everybody crashes and burns….but I’d rather drive than be a passenger…....you comin or what?

Homecoming, the whip, and the milestone

Yea dude! I reached a milestone! A revelation! A rite of passage! I broke 100 posts! Of course I missed the actual 100th one… (LOL that’s typical)…this is like 102 or something……The bad news?? I might start doing some reposting….LOL. you know how much I like revisiting my past!!! And I’m probably going to be posting less often…. Im sorry because truly its nice to have all of you along with me…and I love reading all your blogs!!!!!!…I just need a little time to refocus……..wonder if we will get to 200 posts???……LOL something to look forward to!! So for now I’m dancing a little jig!
When I was senior Sonya invited me to go to her homecoming dance…..”really?......are you sure?” I got this “are you talking to me look”….. my head …..sideways….. like a puppy.…..”yeah…that would be great!!” I’m thinkin…..What in the world is a rich, good looking girl from Northside doing asking me to her homecoming dance?? …. Fever??.....Did she lose a bet??...... wait a minute….. this a joke ….right? I mean someone dared you to bring a hick to the dance…..or something….
Now…….lemme say that ….I LOVE music……and when I say LOVE….I MEAN IT!!!! My dear followers…Ifn ya only knew how much money I have spent on guitars, basses, drums and keyboards over the years you would certainly die from sticker shock….. AND……even though m a guy….…I love to dance……..Now I cant take credit here.

When a problem comes along
You must whip it
When something's goin' wrong
You must whip it

Now…...none of this would normally be a problem…….except we end up IN the dance contest……..Now…Im going to date myself here…….Back in the day we had…….FUNK. Earth Wind and Fire, Rick James, LTD, I mean….. whos gonna NOT like Parliament-Funkadelics????
Where was I?
Oh yeah……. So….we get into the FINALS and ……….Nobody of course knows who I am cause this is NOT my school!!!!! So…… its turning out to be a GREAT date….Sonyas all jazzed cause shes with Mr mysterio……… and we’re down to the last two couples….. and me???? Im NOT worried….. this is going to be a night to remember BOY!!!!!
And then……………….
The DJ starts to play……………..whip it……….
by DEVO……..
ogodogodogodogod………
I look over at the DJ and all the blood runs out of my head……
What in THE #$%# … is…. this …..#$^&@ ing ….. Sh&*???????? You CANT dance to this??????? can you? Can you dance to this??? OMANOMANOMAN..…. Im just……...standing there. Sonyas…… STARING at me……
True story……..Sonya SCREAMS…….. “DO SOMETHING!!!!”
SO………
I start flinging myself around ….flailing my arms like an idiot……. I look like a chicken….. that’s being electrocuted……...seriously. Im clearly…… in pain… because I HATE punk…HATE IT……..Im flinging myself around the room like a schizophrenic epileptic……. Im having a seizure…..…Im fightin myself….Im seizing ….Im fightin myself…Im seizing AND fighting myself at the same time. I look like Im possessed……..by three different, clearly disturbed and uncoordinated people who failed anger management class…….
Finally.
The music stops………….. I think.
Im covered in sweat.
About to pass out from panting.

We lost……..
I don’t remember what happened after that. I think she rushed me out of the gym lest they stone us just on general principles alone. Yeah dude……..Good time….FAIL.

I say whip it
Whip it good

Bring it……….bring a sense of humor. Even if you’re the butt of the joke. I promise not to make fun of ya……Im not too cool with that. But I do love a good laugh with someone I care for. Now....I STILL cant stand that song......so I might not bring out a whip but it would be nice to hold my love down and make her forget about a hard day with just the right amount of slow increasing pressure, in the right place and...........then............hold.
The adult world has enough seriousness anyway. Bills, work, raising kids, a bad economy, scarce jobs and gas prices are enough to ruin your day so you better bring sumpin home that will bring a smile or a laugh. Now Im not saying I want you to put on some DEVO or start doing standup….…but it might be nice to be pelted with circus peanuts for a change………hehehehe!