Potluck love leftovers, a purple duck, and the love horse

Yeah dude…been ruminating over things I’ve heard in the last few weeks….on the menu??......... it’s potluck love leftovers. I read where women on average think the perfect number of lifetime partners for a guy is…………5. Thas a bit…spartan I think given that ahma ole man. Realistically I think that numbers gunna be a shake higher.

I wonder, wonder who, bi du du, who
Who wrote the book of love?

Im far less concerned with who wrote the thing. I really just want ma own copy.
I’m willing to bet the most recent edition has fewer and fewer rules. (I jes might have that backwards). As time goes on……...the rules seem to get cloudy and finding love feels more like prospecting for gold……… in Iowa. Ya know? That’s why I always go back to 8th grade love because the rules seem much easier to understand……….maybe I jes need ta give up that idea and deal with the here and now instead.
Lemme say I can be wrong ……a fair bit. But rarely do I think im confused or hesitant to make a decision. Makes little sense to waffle on pulling the trigger. Yeah dude…the quick and the dead. I don’t want to be caught saying “boy…....the things you see when you haven’t got your gun”.
But lately I feel like Mr. Douglas on green acres. He’s the ONLY sane one in hooterville….(love the name). Everyone else is a few fries short of a happy meal. But he’s the one who looks out of place. …ranting and raving with no connection to anyone else……but he’s NORMAL!!!!… Kinda like the house that’s too cheap….or too expensive for the market to move. Findin a buyer is…….not easy. I feel like im huntin a purple duck.
Where was I?
Oh yeah…
I had an older woman once tell me sex was easy to find and love was much harder. LOL yeah dude…tha rules for sex are much easier to unnastan than all the smoke and mirrors you have to navigate to cultivate love.
I had a buddy tell me that when he showed up at a girls door……. she was the only person who knew whether they were going to have sex that night……and based on what he was wearing….all he could tell you is ….where they were going to eat for dinner.
Ifn ya think about it, maybe the rules for love have always been the same. It’s the shifting sand of culture and social standards that change. I think everyone has heard this…..”The reason people don’t stay married anymore is…..…Wa schumi la pasubi kaka” . Yeah ….blame it on everyones lack of hanging in there when the going gets tough. Uh ….Chello? The world is 30 times tougher now than it was for Laura Ingles. Dump her in downtown Chicago an lessee how she fares in finding a successful marriage. My take on it is …..people in the past HAD to withstand the abuse of a bad relationship because they COULDN’T do anything else. Yeah…that was good plan. He beats me everyday while he’s drunk and unemployed but…..were still married! Yipppey! …….Marriage? FAIL.
Ahm gunna demystify something here. Marriage is a social convention. Love is not. Problem is……people tend to confuse the two. The goal SHOULD be …..love. Marriage is a verbal contract. ……….and Men I think fail to read the fine print…..myself included…..
Ever been lied to?......Meh…not the best plan to keep a relationship happy. Makes no difference whether you made that promise in front of your God or not. People have been breaking covenants with him for over 2000 years. Sorry. Not what you wanted to hear….I know. But think about it. The concept of marriage is not ironclad. If “till death do us part” were actually enforced…lets face it..…you wouldn’t be readin ma blog right now.….Marriage takes on lots a notions. There are places where men have multiple wives…. 60 year old men marry 15 year old brides……Even having a woman on the side is socially accepted….or even between folks of the same sex. Are you really pursuing marriage……or love? Cause the two aren’t the same. Hehehe nowadays?...... Both are hard to get sho nuff….but even HARDER to KEEP.
I heard a comedian say “went out with this girl…. On the first date she told me she wanted a serious relationship……. Y…..eah …that’s what I want….. a SERIOUS relationship. Lets make it serious. Leave the fun to someone else.” LOL. When was the last time you went lookin for a man with a heavy heart?......chuh ….right. I want your heart to be light. I don’t want you thinking about the car insurance when I put my hand on the back of your neck and kiss you deeply.
Lemme say I don’t screen a woman for marriage. I SEE if we can fall in love. The marriage cart can’t come before the love horse. That’s crash city guaranteed. Yes I am a sooooper genius. Hey don’t laugh ……if this is such common sense stuff you would think love would be readily available to EVERYONE.
I had a girlfriend tell me “once its over ..its over”. I am JUST old enough to FINALLY understand that you can’t destroy love. The relationship may not survive. But love does. Man…that ……just…..fills me up. Ya know? I had a girlfriend once tell me after we broke up that “ I was very angry with you …but I never stopped loving you.” Too bad we can’t all see it that way. It might make things a bit different.

Chapter One says to love her
You love her with all your heart
Chapter Two, you tell her
You're never never never never ever gonna part
In Chapter Three remember
The meaning of romance
In Chapter Four you break up
But you give her just one more chance

Bring it…..…bring some love. I’ve had my fair share of failed relationships …..(you too??) …….but I still try to keep ma heart open. The modern world is full of bills, schedules, bills, car wrecks, fake reality TV and bills. Love doesn’t fit very well in the cracks. That’s not much of a plan for success. Happy people make happy relationships. ….big smile…..How far do you think you’ll get in a relationship if I CAN’T get to your heart? I don’t always succeed but Im workin to keep ma heart light…..I don’t think you would want me any other way……..so I cant wait to finish 7th grade!!!!! Whatcha doin for the summer?

A pillowfight, houses in love town, and the birds and the bees

Yeah dude….I……….am a contact lover. If I can get you close to me I want your head in my lap where I can stroke your hair or rub your ear slowly. I will frown openly if you tell me NOT to touch your feet. For me its stress relief and the comfort of building that brick house in love town….. together……I rub you …..you rub me. Lately Ive kinda been havin ta rub maself. Being in the self service isle leaves few options. Hehehe yeah dude ….spending a lot of time in the gym you tend to read articles on how to increase your testosterone levels. Every grid dawg is taking some combination of hormone releaser, prohormone, estrogen crusher and test booster………the latest thing? ……blush……old school……….porn. Now I can’t take credit here.

Feel the heat,
pushing you to decide
Feel the heat,
burning you up,
ready or not
Some like it hot
and some sweat
When the heat is on

Playing football demands a bit of………channeled aggression…..lemme jes put it thata way. Yes….I am a sooooper genius. Sho nuff. But I have a feeling most men (whatever their profession) have similar shortcomings when it comes to being a good lover. If ya think about it……that’s certainly something you have to learn on ya own. You can’t get valuable instruction from your parents growing up on the “how to’s” …thank goodness……just that you ARENT supposed to do it until……….your a mature bird or bee. Yeah dude did I EVER get any instruction as a boy NOT to have sex? …….The serious answer is…..no. My mom apparently got a book from the library regarding the subject and lemme tell ya…as a second grader I was NOT prepared for such a discussion. I dont remember what was said cause I probably blacked out or something when i saw the pictures...... Page 1 "The man sticks his dilly hoo into her cha cha and out comes his hot man chowder".....or something along those lines.....My mom tells me we were both laughing hysterically by the second page. We didn’t finish the book.
At NO point in time was I told to wait for marriage …….or use protection….or ANYTHING of the sort. Instruction?......FAIL. Luckily I………..waited till I was 18. So no regrets there.
Where was I?
Oh yeah….
As a guy …….I don’t think we’re given much in the way of a roadmap or blueprint on what a woman wants. Inside or outside the bedroom. I think women give some thought to what makes a mans switch flip …..which is great!...... but also sad because men are inadequate to return the favor unless they work at it. I admit it. I need your help! I made a D in mind reading 101……
Of course this doesn’t excuse idiocy on ma part. The model most men get revolves around the philosophy “if it moves hit it…if it breathes kill it”. That’s how we solve problems. Forcing the nut, throwing harder, elbow grease, spit, and yelling louder than the next guy are all acceptable ways of handling things…..if you’re a man.. (unless you’re an accountant…..in which case I have NO idea what your role model for love was).
Problem is……….those same communication tools (or lack of) we use from 9 to 5 don’t really condition us for romance when we get home. Even though you lay bricks all day….You cant take a brick to a pillowfight.
Personally I like a lot of balance when Im in love. Until I hit the bedroom. Then I want to be assertive and in control. Ifn ya deny me that then………we gots problems. I must be doin sumpin wrong if you won’t let me enjoy you. I rather like a sirens submission and if Im doing my part right then……theres no resistance when I wind you up, hold you down…… and push your body to tighten for that moment where you ……cant speak and ……cant breathe.

Some like it hot
but you can't tell how hot
Till you try
Some like it hot
so let's turn up the heat
Till we fry

Bring it……….bring some heat. All this snow has got me yearnin for some summa weatha! Hey I like snow but this cold spell is wearin on me! I don’t know what’s worse …….having no skills or having skills and no one to share them with!!! But make no mistake….sharin something you cant get anywhere else makes it worth the hunt……..and the wait. Yeah dude…..Nothin like building a new house in love town.

Return to the tricky fish, the last southern comfort, and the crash

Gunna letcha know ahead o time. This post is by far the weakest thing EVER. Been very busy so ahm just having random thoughts and i can only hope I make more sense next week.
Been kinda quiet about semipro football lately. Ive been training like a man possessed…. but keeping a low profile. Mad skills in progress during the off season. Yeah dude….Nothing left to chance. I’m trying out for a different team this year. It’s a long story dude…….but I want a change and I’m up for it. Tryouts were last Saturday. I am sore. I was hoping to really impress but my times were off. So I did good……just not……...great. There were guys faster than me but that’s ok. Now I know what to work on….I have EVERYTHING else. I plan on blowin people up this year. Sorry……I know it’s too early to trash talk and to blow my own horn…Im just………boiling to play. Lemme say I like getting comments. Yes I am a sooper genius so a bit of recognition is good for my psyche. Ran into an old lifting buddy the other day. “Man, your big as a house”. ….big smile….

My experience with the Bruins was mixed last year…that’s a kind revue……SO I tried out for the Crash in huntington……..I JUST got word from the coach….I made the cut! YES! Its a bit of a drive …but it’ll be worth it!!!! Now I can’t take credit here.

I'm Gonna Make A Change,
For Once In My Life
It's Gonna Feel Real Good,
Gonna Make A Difference
Gonna Make It Right . . .

I haven’t been frequenting the local establishments lately. I still see people I DON’T know on the streets who ask when Im playin guitar again but I went out a few weeks ago and the SMOKE nearly killed me. I’ve been a little nervous about getting the chemistry right with the new team too. So I’ve been…….decompressing with the bottle.
Enough………. I had too much southern comfort, too much fun and too much looking my age the day after. Its affecting my ……performance………..on the field. So I’m going to go back to playing some guitar to relax. Found an old shoebox of at least a hundred original tunes I wrote. Time to put them on disc.
After tryouts I went to the tricky fish in Charleston again. Fosters on tap……60’s music …the place ….barren of patrons....perfect…… its kinda cool to go to a town you never go to, find a hole in the wall bar and just…………..unwind. Albeit alone. But I was thinking it would have been nice to share tryouts with someone special but I suppose the lack of company was good for focus before tryouts so its ok.
I was reading an article on what women want in a man…….no this NOT a joke. No I didn’t pick up a cosmo. Hehehe
Where was I?
Oh yeah….
I am supposed to be……..a quiet genius. Witty, strong, confident, a blue chip prospect who doesn’t sweat the small stuff. I’ll work on it. I think I just need to leave this town. Suggestions?
I got a buddy who keeps asking how to keep this girl he’s after interested. Should I call her? Heres what she texted….how do I respond? She said she would call at five..its five thirty do I call her?......she sent me this email…. what should I say? …....Jeesh……Confidence? …FAIL
I told him to show up and take a Hershey’s kiss out…. unwrap it and put it in her mouth and kiss her. He said “where did you get that?” whadya mean? “I mean where did you see that? If you got it from a movie then she may have seen it.” ……..small silence….I didn’t see it in a movie…………that’s all me. “Oh”…. Maybe you can give her MY number……..small smile


I'm Starting With The Man In
The Mirror
I'm Asking Him To Change
His Ways
And No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
Take A Look At Yourself, And
Then Make A Change

Bring it………..bring some change. No I don’t need bus fare ya silly! It makes me feel good to see folks who have a good thing goin. Cool……gunna have me some o that one day! Hehehe Im a bit jealous I admit it. I’ve been lucky to have some close encounters lately and Im grateful for that. But I’m still by the side of the road with my thumb out for the real deal neal. Tricky fish indeed………Im optimistic for times close ahead s’all I can say.

The shot, the derby, and bad glue

Ok dude….. the race was this weekend. An lemme tell ya……. it was a barn burner. My bloggy girls hearts are all in the right place …big smile……..and there were lessons all around for me and my son this weekend. So I gotsta tell ya …..NOTHING happened the way ANY of us thought. I like it when bad luck really turns out to be a glass of lemonade. Albeit a small one. This one though was CLOSE………real close. Now I can’t take credit here.

But it's all right now, I learned my lesson well.

The weekend started out with basketball practice for ma boy and……it’s NOT going all that well. I won’t get into the details…… lets just leave it at that. We get to the pinewood derby with 15 minutes to spare and I have a bright idea. I’ll put some glue on the axles to make sure they’re secure.

Lemme say that again.

I’ll put some glue on the axles to make sure they're secure. I am a SOOOOPER genius.
We go to weigh in the car. 5.0 Oz. ……..perfect!!!!!!
I go to spin a wheel in satisfaction ….one last time.
It’s glued to the car. THEYRE ALL …..GLUED TO THE CAR!.

...O……GODOGODOGODOGOD……….
My head…………….is swimming…… and I can hear people talking "Gorfa toob a fishna te kooble"
NONONONONONONO…..this CANNOT be happening. OH MY LORD NO……
I look up to see the satisfied smirks of the dads who are now congregating to see why this guy is suddenly freaking out. You can’t make this stuff up. It’s worse than a nightmare.
10 minutes to race.
My eyes in shear panic….. I grab my son…. “FINDSOMESPAREWHEELSANDAXLES LIKEYOURLIFEDEPENDSONIT!!!!!!!!GO GO GO!!!!”
I race outside to the car for tools and he shows up with some spares.
I realize at this point…… IF……IF we can get the wheels on……..he’ll be the slowest car there because the wheels and axles are right out of the box. Fatherhood ? FAIL. It’s a repeat of last year…last place. It’s hard to conceal the look on my face. Im thinking lets just withdraw and Ill apologize. I deserve it……
My son however does not…..
I put the thing together
5 minutes to race.
We RUN in to weigh……don’t ……breathe……my heart sinks…..we’re overweight by 3 ounces! OMANOMANOMAN… the wheels are stock and haven’t been milled out like the other ones. Everything is in slow motion. THINK TREY YOU MORON…….
We RUN back to the car. I grab a knife and BUTHCER the car……B U T C H E R. Taking out huge chunks of it to get the weight down. The top…..the sides…..the back. it look like someone ran over the thing with a train. I AM FREAKING OUT!!!!!!
We run back inside with frankencar and weigh. The car is BARELY together. I am truly afraid a wheel will fall off in mid race. Ahm gunna be sick…..I’m serious. It’s a disaster. Complete with ex wife in attendance to add to the pain. And then my son says.
“We’ve done our best dad……..”
I look at him …..and realize.
We have hustled, father and son over the last 15 minutes to make the car our own. Under pressure. By the seat of our pants, together. I smile …….and the hug is worth a billion car wins.
He doesn’t go far…….. but he doesn’t come in last place!! So all in all it was more successful than last year and we celebrate even though the outcome isn’t adorned with trophies or fan fare. It’s a failure on the track but the reward is far more important. His smile was enough to put me on the moon.
We sleep on the boat that night and rest up for his basketball game on Sunday.
He has NEVER scored a point. N E V E R. Even all of last year too.
In the last quarter he gets 2 free throws after he gets fowled trying for a shot.
Im ……holding my breath.
He misses.
The second one……… goes in! Yeah dude. Success! Ma boy is an NBA star!!!!.....
We’re still losing the game but ......who cares??? Finally.....
The game is tied with about a minute left and my son……..is all alone under the basket. No one guards him because he …..isn’t a threat. He waves his arms and pleads all game long because he’s WIDE open……. and I am DYING in the stands. Unable to help.
They throw him the ball.
He shoots…… and the ball…….rolls round the rim….…and …..rolls some more …….and then
Drops in.
The Crowd goes NUTS, NUTS I say!!!!!!! and I am dancing, beaming with pride. The game winning point was HIS and they’re undefeated season is STILL intact.

You see, ya can't please everyone,
So ya got to please yourself

Bring it……...bring a lesson worth living for. He will remember all this. When he is grown and life is not so kind. It will be fresh in my memory for some time I know. Nothing better than a good juicy humbling lesson to make me realize what is important and…....what is just…….....Not. We got to throw some football sunday. He says he wants to play football like his old man. One thing at a time ma boy. One thing at a time.

Pining, cheatin, and the ferrari let down

Ok dude… ahma comin clean……..well……not exactly CLEAN….would you believe …less dirty? Would you settle for that? Small silence……Im a hypocrite. My last post was on trust and ahm breakin ma rules. And I cant tell you how many times I’ve preached truth is best. Not today. Now… gunna try an rationalize this but the bottom line is…..Ima cheatin. Now I can’t take credit here.

Your cheatin' heart will tell on you
Your cheatin' heart will make you weep
You'll cry and cry and try to sleep
But sleep won't come the whole night through

When I was a cub scout in 5th grade I spent an unbelievable amount of time preparing for the pinewood derby. Ya know those little cars you carve out of a block of wood? Well……..my dad I’m fairly sure didn’t even come to the race…….much less help build the thing. But I was very meticulous and spent every waking moment preparing the car. As a boy… ..you don’t know much about cheating…….other than ……don’t do it. Lemme say……I wasn’t smart enough to cheat. I just built the car lovingly. Sanded it, painted it…..made it look cool.

I remember that day. I came in second. I was……..pleased!. WOW!! Second place! Take that! And I did it all by myself!

My son……..is NOT having a good time. Surprise surprise…… I LOVE my son. We don’t get to see each other but maybe every other weekend. He lives 3 hours away. Its awful. I hate it. He’s been a scout for the last two years. When its pinewood derby time he and I get together as much as possible and work out what were going to do. It’s a wonderful bonding time. Working together……..using tools…..explaining things….
The spirit of the whole process is wholesome…Ya know? Really rewarding. Working within the rules……...doing your best even if you don’t win.
He’s come in LAST place both years. L A S T. Not near the bottom……..LAST. This past year he cried. Thats kinda tough especially when formula one is really part of our life. Hes even named after one of the team owners and this was a pic of us at indy last year.
Where was I?
Oh yeah....
I have to admit …two years of getting the smug, arms folded, “you’re a loser” smile from the other dads wasn’t the most pleasant thing for sure.
Enter …… adulthood…….there are all these websites dedicated to showing you how to………. Cheat. I look at them…then I look at the rules…. …then I look at them some more and then ……the lightbulb goes off. Everyone else is …….cheating. I mean not just a little. Its full blown, masterful, underhanded, blatant disregard for the rules that NO one will acknowledge because they’re ALL in on it. It’s a fantastic publicly secret lie like Santa Claus to a first grader. No cheating happens if it isn’t caught. The kind that happens ONLY BECAUSE the dads are involved. Moral fiber? FAIL. It’s just another great example of how the adult world pollutes and poisons innocence.
Ahm gunna be sick………….no……...pissed. If the kids were left to themselves there wouldn’t be any cheating! Won……derful.
The kids don’t know….. it’s the DADs……..I wanna do-over. better yet …..I want justice!!! ….. and then it happens.
I find this website that will sell you a winning car.

I look at it. …Blink…...blink

I see several cars that were AT my son’s race last year.

I’m……….steamed…….

silence……….…fan….tastic.

My son’s confidence is being destroyed by the ugliness that only comes from adults that have no honor or confidence. Liars. Cheats. Bankers. Lawyers. …….Assholes all.

Now I’m pacing……fuming…....The purity and the genuineness of the whole thing is marred, tainted, ruined by the day to day shitty world of adulthood….. and my sons the target. I tell ya ….I wanna go back to 8th grade. This is where……Ima gunna letcha down.
I make the call.
I won’t tell you how much but let’s just say you could buy a real car with the money this is going to cost.
The car will be here in 3 days.
I told my son I hired a Ferrari engineer to help this year.

Your cheatin' heart will tell on you
When tears come down like falling rain
You'll toss around and call my name

Bring it………bring it ……. Ya ..bit…..ches. Sorry……This is WAY out of character for me. And I’m laughing as I type. But I’m also mad. I’m not saying I’m proud of my behavior. Im not. I WILL tell him someday about the whole thing and this will no doubt garner some well deserved chastising and Im ready to hear it from my bloggy girls. But I gotsta tell ya. My son has already learned the lesson on how to lose and keep your chin up.. He’s learned how NOT to bend the rules. He doesn’t need that lesson again. We got it. We’ve had plenty of good times doing our best and some will say im lowering myself to a hollow victory…..but right now I feel like I’m leveling the playing field. THIS YEAR …we’re going to learn a different lesson. How to be a gracious winner

Spotlight, Trust, and a future fortune cookie

When I was in…. Oh….5th grade a bunch of us would play “spotlight”. We lived next to this military academy and I was a “townie”. So in the summer when school let out and it got dark some unlucky soul would sit on this cannon at the front entrance with a high powered flashlight and everyone’s mission was to get as close as they could to the spotter before being ……spotted…..Simple enough rules. We would play till about…….midnight. Yeah dude….. the hunted and the hunters………all clad in black…..warriors…..spies…….defenders of freedom and the American way…..against all those…..who…..dared……..to be …….mean or nasty. Now I can’t take credit here.

The long and winding road
That leads to your door
Will never disappear
I've seen that road before
It always leads me here
Lead me to you door

Spotlight……like any other game….. kinda depended on trust and fairness to work. Nowadays I can’t tell you the number of things that end up in the “I’m not real confident bout this” column. We’re probably in the same boat. Ya know?
Men have this ……propensity to skin a cat…….anyway they can…….rules be damned. Breakin the rules…….takin a risk…….. Playin it safe doesn’t get you in the highlight reel. I think it’s important for women to understand that. Growing up…..boys aren’t applauded by their dads for being conservative. In fact …..boys are typically belittled if their efforts aren’t up to par. I see a lot of mixed messages. Moms….try desperately to make their sons “stand still” and dads who try to make them run faster. It doesn’t surprise me that boys turn out to be men that will ultimately let you down. I admit it. We’re not very smart. Give us conflicting signals and were sure to disappoint you when you want us to be generous, kind, and trustworthy material. LOL clear message? FAIL.
I have to admit I like learning about my weaknesses. I’m not sure you can teach an old dog how to be trustworthy. I don’t think it matters whether the dog is a male or female. You either have it in you …or ya don’t. If I don’t think I can trust you…I’ll jet. So I like being someone that makes a woman feel safe so she is freed up to think about taking ownership of her own satisfaction. Does that make sense? There is nothing better than having my partner trust me FIRST...then ......push till her body responds uncontrollably with tightness.
Hehehe Ill spare you the details because Im sure you have similar stories too. Ive had several monogamous rewarding relationships that were destroyed in under 5 minutes. The reason? I was violently acused of not being trustworthy. Absolutely bunk..... but.....there it was.
I can see how the ability to trust gets destroyed easily. But I always want to be a partner my lover can trust. Lemme say …..I’m worried. I don’t think I’m alone. I don’t see too many folks who have real trust in their partner. If that’s all there is …. I need to give my love to some other cause.
Im seriously considering becoming a foster parent. I kinda like the idea.
I would much rather be a successful foster parent than fail with too many more women who……cant trust ……..and aren’t trustworthy.
Don’t laugh……. I’m seriously considering a mail order bride too. Or …moving to Utah.

Many times I've been alone
And many times I've cried
Anyway you'll never know
The many ways I've tried

Bring it………..bring some trust. I cant do it any other way. I know that doesn’t make me different than anybody else. We all want love…….but Im not much of a lover if I cant make you see that Im trustworthy. Love and trust you build together. It doesn’t come with “just add water” and you can’t have one without the other. I’m going to learn Mandarin or Cantonese before the year is out. Can I get a fortune cookie with that?

Dominos, Blue moon, and plan B

Oh dude I got some BAD news. Im NOT happy about this AT all. I do love my bloggy girls and it’s a great part of my world to get your advice and read your blogs. I get to work everyday and can’t wait to see what’s going on with your lives! ….Ready?... The IT department has fire walled your websites. …..long silence……..Meh………Sh….@$*. I cant even post from work. ……long silence…….SO …Im not going to be able to visit as much as you deserve. I’m……sorry. Now I can’t take credit here.

Blue moon,
you saw me standin' alone
Without a dream in my heart,
without a love of my own

I ……don’t like giving up on something. You have to deserve what you get a couple of times over before I pull the plug. When I do…there’s no remorse, no pain, just………open road.
Cool dude…..hahaha
Wait….what?........Come ON Trey…No pain? ….chuh right.
What I mean is… yeah I DO have that pain …but I only give credence to it for so long.
My high school class has a core bunch of folks that have ALWAYS been tight. We keep in touch over the years. I have to admit I love that bunch and its nice to feel that comfort of seeing old friends. There are some that…over the years have just…..disappeared. We spent 4 years together and for whatever reason they haven’t kept in contact with ANYONE. ….No one……just…....gone. Friendship? FAIL.
Usually I exhaust every resource I can before saying “I cant find them”. This past year….. thing’s were different. It’s been…..29 years that these folks have NOT reached out. So when someone asks where is “so n so?” I say ……I didn’t look for them at all……..they’ve had 29 years to call someone …they haven’t……so I agree…we don’t need to see them (they obviously don’t need to see us) and I don’t care where they are. What matters is that YOURE here.
I was pretty down on my luck with employment a long time ago….and Im sure most can relate……. So I had taken a second job at …..DOMINOES!! …shaking head now……
The outfit was…….a character builder……just in itself.
I didnt mind the job so much..…that is ….until Pam opened the door.
We went to high school together.
She was having a party.
Fan……...tastic.
"LOOK WHO IT IS!!!”
Oh…..god…no….
“HEY EVERYBODY!!”
Oh….please….no….
COME SEE WHOS WORKIN AT DOMINOES!!”
Heres your pizzas. That’ll be $ 22.42
COME ON IN!! HEY EVERYBODY…COME HERE!!
No….I have to get back before I get in trouble (for passing out in your driveway).
She wouldn’t give me the money until she made sure I was TOTALLY humiliated…..Until she could drink in the agony and pain on my face. So around the room we went……everybody laughing and taking their shot at my manhood with maximum effect.

I didn’t quit over that…..

A few months later I told my boss I would like to have New Years Eve off. It was my girlfriends and my anniversary and she and I deserved an evening to celebrate. He said “No.” “But this is November….. Im giving you over a months notice.” “No”
I paused…….. “Im asking you to let me celebrate my anniversary.” ……”No”
He informed me that if I didn’t show he would fire me. I didn’t show. He called for about a week ..trying to tell me Id been fired. I never gave him the satisfaction. I did however take the girlfriend out. It was worth it. Not ALL good deeds go unpunished. LOL I remember a few years ago where some guy spent the LAST 20 bucks he had on roses for his wife. She pulled out a gun and shot him.
I sometimes have a hard time remembering whats important in this life. My pride in a dominos uniform or......being a man that deserves having a woman clinging on his arm with doey eyes. Truth is...this is icing. There are more important things in life for me to do than to moan about where the love train is stopping. It will come when its good n ready.

And then there suddenly appeared before me
The only one my arms will hold
I heard somebody whisper "please adore me"
And when I looked, the moon had turned to gold

Bring it….….bring plan B. Yeah I’m hacked off I can’t get to your posts like I want…..or even see my own during the day. That Sucks. But I rather like thinking that there’s open road to be enjoyed rather than dwell on bad memories. A full moon beats a cloudy day for sure. Even if its blue.

High infidelity, Wool, and Revenge sex

You know me dude……. I always say reality trumps all. Yeah dude…I know…..thats a kill joy. My bloggy girls are NOT going to like this. But l also say truth is best. Of course I say that…….. but am not always able to deliver.
I do like noticing differences between men and women. ….big smile….. nothing is better for communication than for me to listen or a mile in my partners shoes……I get JACKED when it comes……..when I say… “I get you”…….man that’s a good feeling. Now I can’t take credit here.

As soon as you are able
Woman I am willing
To make the break that we
Are on the brink of
My cup is on the table
Our love is spilling
Waiting here for you to
Take and drink of

High infidelity indeed…….
I was reading this weekend about what leads men to stray and why women have “revenge sex”. Men are apparently forgiving of other men for issues of infidelity. Women it seems aren’t forgiving of other women who step over the line. The article didn’t really paint a good picture of things. Women tend to protect a relationship if it starts to go sour and men…….look for opportunities. I think women look at consequences….men look at the consequences of getting caught. I’m putting that nicely. The article went on to tell guys what they could do to be MORE faithful. ….It had ……completely useless suggestions….like….dont do it……be closer to your spouse……think of what your giving up….dont do it…..dont be tempted…..and………don’t do it. Fab…u….lous. Chuh…..right. Advice?....FAIL. I'm a serial monogamist. My own fidelity I dont worry about. Catching my love is much more of a task.
Women I think idealize a relationship and men tend to be more reality based. Like I say reality trumps all. I don’t hear many men say things like “you should like what you do……….theres somebody for everyone…….everything happens for a reason”. In a man’s vocabulary, day to day, these concepts just don’t enter into why the cars busted or how were going to fix the sink.
The movie AVATAR works because it moves back and forth from reality to ...fantasy....you have to have BOTH to make the story work. Fantasy alone wont cut it. Yes..I am sooooper genius. I can see WHY women “hope” for things. But men don’t “hope”……..we are NOT on the same page here. It will be or it won’t be. Hope changes nothing. See…I KNEW you weren’t going to like this. But that’s how we think. We don’t think about how the world “should” be. Ok ..little play on words there…we don’t really think at all.
Now as cold as all this sounds it makes more sense to a man to think this way than to…….have a distorted body image. To watch a soap opera like it was real life. To think things are good even when its obvious……they suck. Speakin ma ugly piece here. Men may very well need to “grow up” but which of us is living in a fantasy?.....(ahm gonna get slapped for that)…..
Peace…. I don’t mean for that to condemn..…hopefully it will spawn some introspection. Think about it. The same “hope” you sprinkle to keep your spirits up….prevents you from seeing that he’s……… a cheater….a drug addict….a liar. .I know I don’t like it when the wool gets pulled over my eyes…..but I only compound the problem if I refuse to see the wool at all. Ya know?...seein its one thing…DOING something about it is another. Personally I like you in something that makes you feel beautiful when I put my fingers in your mouth and your hips tighten with just the right amount of constant pressure…and….. your breathing …you have …..to ….hold while it moves through you in waves…..…..wool just doesn’t work here.

So if you're tired of the
Same old story
Turn some pages
I'll be here when you are ready
To roll with the changes

Bring it………..bring some reality. Which do you think will serve you better? HOPING she’ll leave her current boyfriend or……The harsh reality that……she’s taken.
If you want to understand a man you have to think a bit like one. Sorry.
There have been times in my past that I just did not WANT to see the wool….and I suffered for that….. Nowadays….. I see a bit more clearly and it’s no longer a shame to let something go because my partner was too selfish, or too conceited to fix a mistake. Reality? Check……

The fairytale, a polliwog, and magnum PI

I want to thank all you girls for spending time at ma blog. It makes me feel rather good when you leave a comment and I preciate it! …big smile……
When I was a private investigator I saw plenty of folks pretty much……in torment. Yeah dude…guys…girls…it didn’t make any difference. People’s lives were getting torn up. Searching for answers. Searching for someone. Making themselves into someone…… different. I remember that time for myself and I was frantic to uncover the truth. That’s why I got into the PI thing in the first place. To kinda help folks get through it cause I had been there maself.
An old girlfriend of mine said “I don’t understand why you can take two, intelligent, educated people, who are in love……….but you can’t make their marriage work.” I have to admit…...that befuddled me too. To her discredit….she’s on her third marriage right now……Im sure shes thinking third times a charm and ahm thinkin…....three strikes and your out. Yeah dude, I have a feeling this one will end up on her scrap heap too. Really I should go easy on her…… affairs of the heart sometimes sound like an episode of unsolved mysteries. And Im no Robert Stack. LOL More Like Leonard Nimoy on “In search of”……… who thinks he’s Magnum PI. instead of ……….Monk. Now I cant take credit here.

Where you going?
What you looking for?
You know those boys
Don't want to play no more with you
It's true

If you’re looking for a prince …then the swamp is no place to find anything but frogs. What’s a princess doing in the swamp anyway? I guess some turn out to be lucky frogs ifn ya get ma drift. LOL I guess if you follow that tale more closely …..Doesn’t the frog have to TURN into a prince? Oh dude. LOL fairytale…. FAIL. I think people normally think the moral is….. you have to go through a lot of losers to find Mr.right.. .I had someone tell me they thought it meant “don’t believe what guys say” I’m not so sure that’s the ONLY message. I don’t believe you can CHANGE someone else into what you want.. You probably don’t either. Yes….I am a sooooper genius.
I have to admit I hide a bit of myself when I start dating someone. If I told you I LOVED jazz……. Im not so sure the look on your face would be very approving. There I said it. I’m guilty. I’m not as forthcoming about myself upfront. This is NOT good. I preach about communication and…….I’m NOT taking my own advice. Yeah dude…gotta work on that.
I think most would take offense if your partner suggested you “change” something about yourself. Enter……..the divorce. Oh yeah dude…we got some changin agoin on now! But ya know? I hear a lot of people say the relationship has “changed” or the partner has “changed” and that its NOT what it used to be. I don’t hear many folks say that “they’re” the one that’s changed. It’s always the partner. I think that’s interesting. I’m pretty big on TRYING to look at my own shortcomings before I decide it’s the enemies fault. Never the less… what in this world stays the same?

Sister Christian
Oh the time has come
And you know that you're the only one
To say O.K.

Bring it……….bring some compatibility. You know? It takes a confident frog not to be jealous or controlling. I AM happy in my skin. If I do my part right…… Im bringing out the best in my lover….not changing them. I see a lot of frogs dead in the road. They probably deserve to have the $%!T squashed out of them. I’m still learning…....a polliwog in the rough. If I’m lucky….I just might turn into………a frog. I think that’s ok………I just………. Want another tadpole to love and spoil along the way.

A nice guy, The missed signal, and cupids arrow

Booyaaa!!!! Yeah dude my buddy just got it!! Been fightin an uphill battle with a friend of mine who has been dancing at the whim of a fishing girl. She fishes …….she dangles ……and he……..pants and jumps up and down. She……..tells him no….and calls back a few weeks later…….and it starts all over again. “what can I do to get her back?” he asks at least 3 times a week.
“Dude……… she sent you several emails saying she wasn’t interested. What part of that do you NOT get?”
“But she said I was a nice guy!!!”
“AND….whats your point? You ARE a nice guy…..but you still DON’T get it”. Now I can’t take credit here.

Don't take your love away from me
Don't you leave my heart in misery
If you go then I'll be blue
'Cause breaking up his hard to do

I have another friend with the same problem. Shes…….backpeddling out of the relationship and her man……..doesn’t get it. Women seem to have a completely different philosophy when it comes to the “how to’s “ of breaking up. (don’t hit me here….I make blanket statements from time to time….generalizations don’t ALWAYS apply…….I hear ya!). I have another friend I am SOOOPER proud of. She ended the relationship by saying
“Nothing you say or do will change my mind. I want a divorce.” He wasn’t listening. “how about counseling?”
“Nothing you say or do will change my mind. I want a divorce.”
“What if we spent some time apart?”
“Nothing you say or do will change my mind. I want a divorce.”
He got it. No ambiguity there. Message?......... PASS!
This is a picture of the gym I work out at. It’s beyond Spartan. There’s another place in town…..but I don’t even consider it. I like where I am. Not even going to consider switching. Breakin ma workout up is NOT an option. I’m not listening to the enticements of a cleaner, nicer facility.
Men have selective hearing. I hear women say that a lot. Not going to argue. I think your’e right!!!. We hear what we want. I can’t say this is a good thing. I have to work on that myself. I admit it. My personal history is overfraught with………”how did I miss that?”
There is a dynamic here that I think women overlook when they’re trying to break up. They mean well but they…… give mixed signals. Conflicting even…..hey …we’re guys…….were easily confused.
In an effort to “make it painless” women backpeddle…….very slowly saying touchy feely things interlaced with the REAL message. Saying “

You’re a nice guy
you will find someone
I’m not ready
Im going out with the girls”

And then…… for added effect….you shut down…..hoping he’ll “get the hint”.
He wont. Know why? You never said……… “its over”. Instead you have a ten minute discussion about how things aren’t working. In your mind you’re saying.

No
No
No
Youre a nice guy
No
No
No.

Guess what he hears..…..go ahead …….guess. Ready?

“Im a nice guy”. WOW I have a chance!!
Yeah we have selective hearing. But if the message is buried……hidden under sweet words designed to let him down easy and full of low level compliments…….why WOULD he get it? Breakup..…..FAIL.

They say that breaking up is hard to do
Now I know, I know that it's true
Don't say that this is the end
Instead of breaking up I wish that we were making up again

Bring it…………..bring the gods of communication. Hehehe Say what you mean….mean what you say. Im sure THAT makes sense. I just am NOT good at reading tween the lines. I thought that was just……...space. When you’re in love you really want to be understood. Don’t you? I mean……you want to KNOW he cares and loves you too……with zero distortion …..No? You don’t want him to guess whether you love him…..do you? Would you want to have to guess at whether he loves you or not? I want that message…….crystal. When I look in your eyes I want to feel your heart. The message…..I love you doesn’t come with kindas or maybes. What good is that? Cupids arrow hits me in the heart. If you’re trying to break up with me…a shot in the leg wont do it…...you better aim for my heart again.