whatcha ona bout girl??

whatcha ona bout girl??
A retrospective on the inner workings of love, flying pancakes, mensa disasters, dandelion cookies, number bending, super salt, bubblegum oysters, chicken spit, crystal kidneys, guerilla carrots, polychromatic tofu, paraphysics, tender vigilanties, black sand, phillastine placebos, wood soup, buttered shuttlecocks, apostrophe training, fish whips, bleeding speed, plastic fantastic lobster telephones, venus drug rehab, clowns on fire, kiosks on a leash, marshmello overcoats, bottled light, fried blood, unbridled hyperthyroidism, folding wine, amygdula tickling, fainting in coils, hamburgers for the apocalypse, plastic memes, and conjugal fritters.....well...the love parts true

Monday, October 25, 2010

Paper thin love, The Re-eval, And the Never Never text

Ah gots ta tell ya…had some strange convos lately….yeah dude…..Now…I know that Im not always going to be right and I sure like it when I find myself in a position to reevaluate something and change ma ways if ahm not zackly doin it the way I should or want. If I plan to master my future then I cant be a slave to my past. Even the past it seems can be ……..reevaluated. Some things are easy……others? Well….sometimes it takes a while for the crystal ball to cough up the answer.. Yes Trey Logan you………are a sooooper genius. Now I cant take credit here.

Try to see it my way,
Do I have to keep on talking till I can't go on?
While you see it your way,
Run the risk of knowing that our love may soon be gone.

We can work it out indeed. I do love the idea that some people are listening and others are…….just waiting to talk. I remember a heated discussion with my ex ( I was TRYING to have a discussion about how to save our marriage and she …..cleaned house…while I talked to myself) and at the conclusion I was told “if that’s the way you see it then I don’t WANT to see your side”.


Fewer things are worse than having a one sided discussion. Its bad enough to find out your talking to yourself. Its worse to discover that you’re the only one in the relationship…..and no amount of effort will fix things because your partner is emotionally crippled behind a wall that you cant get down. I like getting that wall down. Better still…..I like it when you take that wall down for me. That feeling of connection is something you cant get anywhere else, but if YOU cant let that wall down and …..I cant get it down……..well…. please have the courtesy to stay the hell away from me.
If you make yourself unavailable the result is……wait for it….…..you’re unavailable. Good plan? FAIL.
Think about it. If you’re running in the opposite direction…..how in the world do you expect to receive my affection? How are you going to feel that comfort you crave? How do you expect to feel safe and secure in my arms……….if you’re running away?

In the last year I’ve heard two separate dates tell me.
“I just want to be happy”
“Just once I want to wake up and be happy”
In my book that’s code for “I have no clue what happiness is or how it feels”
My response?
“Boy…… I sure have an early day tomorrow.”
Paper thin love isn’t on the list. Building love you can trust will always be there takes understanding yourself as well as your partner, a dose of selflessness and an ability to get through the rough times.
Reevaluating some past relationships….. I have discovered that I may have glamorized relationships that didn’t deserve it and underappreciated some that got the short end of the stick. If you cant say your sorry …there wasnt much of a relationship there anyway. Nothing lost….so no regrets! Sometimes it takes a while to see things clearly. I recently had the chance to make good one that never got full closure. We had some email exchanges and turns out shes doing well…her kids are almost grown and she just got a promotion…Im glad shes fine and wish her all the best. She will find someone just perfect for her I have NO doubt…...small smile.
I had a friend recently scold another for being too available. “When he calls don’t answer….call him back later and tell him you were busy…….dont be so available”.
I had another girl ask when she should text a guy back after they went out to dinner. The friends answer? “Never…...he should pursue her.”

Never? Ever?......... as in…not at all never?

And you want to know where all the good men are?

Ill tell you where they are.
Theyre out on a date with the girl who answered the phone.
Theyre out on a date with the girl who texted after dinner that she hoped they could get together again.
Theyre out on a date with the girl who let him know that wall is down and she likes him.

When its effortless its just…….the best. If the plan is

Step one: see which one jumps up and down and waves his arms the most to get your attention.

Step two: Ignore him and run in the opposite direction to see if how far he is willing to follow…..looking like a possessed electrocuted chicken

Step three: See if he can break down this unbreakable wall that you don’t EVER plan on letting down.

Step four: finally…mmmmm..…love

Well …that was EASY! Thats all there is to it?? WOW!

Not so fast…..no I think that’s a mistake.…..yes wait ……just a second ….Im sure ….its ……its.….Step four: schedule another unsuccessful girls nite out so you can try this harebrained routine again. Like I said……. keep the HELL away from me.

life is very short, and there's no time
For fussing and fighting, my friend.
I have always thought that it's a crime,
So I will ask you once again.
Try to see it my way,
Only time will tell if I am right or I am wrong.
While you see it your way
There's a chance that we may fall apart before too long.

Bring it…….bring a plan to fall in love that doesn’t involve being unavailable, hard to get and impossible to get close to. The love train stops so you can get on. It doesn’t chase you down, knock you over the head and drag you on board. The good memories come from having that wall down so keep your heart open. Then I can kiss your neck and hold your wrists and make you say “have me”. If you cant do that …well…you never had me anyway…...hehehe then I guess I ‘ll have to settle for …small smile…..watching you run the other way. Hehe ……OK….OK…..I got it!.....I got it!...we werent supposed to be together…..You win! You win! Hehehe.


SKB said...

Never understood the "Unavailable Game", always wondered if I was doing it wrong by "the standard"... answering, texting, laying it open/out... being "too available". I decided it didn't matter; I never want to fold in on myself & the one who's worth it will get it & not be afraid of it.

A+! =)

f1trey said...

@ SKB- well I know theres SOMETHING there...but man.....being distant on purpose is kinda ...stinky!

"Seattle" Heather said...

People that play games in the end always get burned. Why play games? It just shows you are not an honest person.

If these are the duds that you have been dating I think it's time for a scenary change.

SKB said...

Don't confuse the two, T, distant & unavailable are different. Playing the unavailable game & simply not returning calls, etc., is that... a game. And stinky. As you'd say... FAIL. But in my experience, when a woman's distant, it's generally uncertainty... you may not be as open or as obvious as you think you are and you might need to 're-eval'... and you're good at that.

f1trey said...

@ Seattle- hehehe dont I wish!!! is there roomin gauges doghouse?

Seneca said...

Good post, as usual.:) Reminds me of the song Think'n Thing by Trace Atkins........ I think women listen to what is in their heads, their girlfriends, and magazines rather than their HEARTS!

f1trey said...

@ Seneca- hehehe :) but we still love ya!

f1trey said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Just telling it like it is said...

I know I hate texting...

M S said...

Paper thin love - a new word for me :)

In any relationship, communication is the key. I can't understand the need to play games or to follow some rules like love is a game.

It's either you like the person or you don't, lol. But it's just me, too unsophisticated to play games :))

f1trey said...

@ Just- you and me too!!!!! :)

@ MS- Yeah I think ive had my fill!!!! LOL