whatcha ona bout girl??

whatcha ona bout girl??
A retrospective on the inner workings of love, flying pancakes, mensa disasters, dandelion cookies, number bending, super salt, bubblegum oysters, chicken spit, crystal kidneys, guerilla carrots, polychromatic tofu, paraphysics, tender vigilanties, black sand, phillastine placebos, wood soup, buttered shuttlecocks, apostrophe training, fish whips, bleeding speed, plastic fantastic lobster telephones, venus drug rehab, clowns on fire, kiosks on a leash, marshmello overcoats, bottled light, fried blood, unbridled hyperthyroidism, folding wine, amygdula tickling, fainting in coils, hamburgers for the apocalypse, plastic memes, and conjugal fritters.....well...the love parts true

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

An ole dawg, tornado scrabble, and the 3 year glitch

Yeah dude…….s’all good. …small smile. Spring training is …….good. Success FEELS good….. ya know? ya know? State championships are about a month away and if I have a worry its that I cant keep my weight on cuz football training tends to make me lose weight……… so I really shouldn’t complain bout that. Whatcha think?

We really seem to have a problem here
But it is you or me
Whatever I have going through my mind
You always have to disagree

You know Im right indeed. Hehehe. Bein an ole dawg ……I have a hard time understanding relationship tactics of the young and reckless. I know bad means good and sick means cool……..but ….. I need help when it comes to mixed signals……. Maybe its just me….but if your concept of self changes with the wind……..stay the…….HELL away from me. I like reading how my lover thinks. If your confused about your own thoughts then how am I supposed to read your mind??? Hehehe I’ve met a few that seem to think reading like a game of scrabble in a tornado is a man trap. Its not. If I get signals that make no sense it doesn’t make me interested. It makes my head hurt. Just sayin……

Ahm gonna demystify sumpin bout selfishness. Guys are bred for it. Im not sayin its the best quality to have but it’s a quality that men need in order to be successful from 9-5. Problem is we don’t turn it off so easily when we get home.

Understandably most women roll their eyes if they’re husband is selfish or greedy…. and that they hate that part of him.

But we need that part of our personality to bring home our share of the bacon….

Growing up we want to be soldiers, Winston cup drivers, football and rock stars. At no point in our training does the pit crew say “that’s it…your doing great……….stay in last place.” NASA never gets on the radio and says “you forgot to take the trash out……no sex for you when you get back to earth.” We train to be in first place. We don’t readily understand what it means to step aside. No man fantasizes about doing daily household chores and we don’t play school for fun when were young. Not all women but ahm willin to bet most have, at some time, played “house” ya know? or school, shoppin, babys, teacher……… In truth what you girls were doing was pretending to be an adult……you were playing adult. That’s why youre so far ahead of us boys. Trey logan you…… are a sooooper genius.

Think about it.

While your pretending to be an adult woman, guys are ……throwing rocks at trees.

That’s why we hear the phrase

You have to grow up now.

Its time to grow up.

He just needs to be an adult and grow up.

Im learning……….just slow. Hehehe.

Go back to 1839……just …….humor me.

In 1839 as a thirteen year old girl you were as prepared for adulthood as you could possibly get. For the last thirteen years you’ve been by your moms side all day every day….making soap, snapping beans, mending clothes, taking care of your younger siblings, making candles and frying bacon. You were ready for mother hood…..and when that period hit……….they farmed your ass out to the nearest guy that could borrow his dads horse on a Sunday and show up on the front porch for lemonade. So they had three guys to choose from. You weren’t exactly in love or romanced…..You married the guy that lived within riding distance.

Cuz make no mistake you were a mess. No hair care products. You didn’t shave your legs, armpits, or tootie. No dentist or mouthwash or makeup. Have you seen pictures from around that time???? Egads…….Hell…… your dad gave him a cow just to take you away.

Where was I?

Oh yeah.

No wonder boys are behind girls when it comes to this romance thing.

In 1839 the total amount of manhood lessons a thirteen year old boy got was…….”see boy…..when you pull the reigns to the left ….the ox goes left…..that make sense??” (spit tobacco)..…..and stuff like how to shoot a cow in the head.

“how to be a great lover” was not one of the lessons dad taught. So be patient…… we’re kinda slow.

If love involved ……crushing level three on Halo My son ………would be Romeo extraordinaire . But…….

He’s playing basketball again and its kinda hard to drill “team player” in a kids head when it’s a frenzy of flying limbs in a pile. I swear I could have choked the coach and his son. When the son got the ball (which was every play) he drove to the basket every time…right past his team mates. Didn’t matter if he made a bucket or not…he just ignored everyone else. I think kids are going to have it tough…when it comes to relationships. Im not envious. I don’t think the love train will be stopping for everyone.

So yeah…….I have a selfish streak. But learning when I need it……and when I need to bag it ……..are really worthwhile. Cause I want to be the only man that makes you stop breathing when he pushes you up against the wall and bites your neck. I have to be a little selfish to do that. MMMMM……

Im finding that although I know what I want ….I don’t know that younger girls know what they want ….or what I want for that matter. I think theyre confused and not even sure how a relationship is supposed to work. It’s a wonder the love train stops at all…so when it does….. do your best to take care of it… small smile.

I read where the seven year itch has been reduced to a three year glitch. By that they mean people are starting to stray from their marriages after just three years.


So much for till death do us part. Heck my car loan was longer than that….small smile.

True story. I work with this girl who got so mad at her husband she pulled a knife on him and screamed “remember when we said till death do us part??? Well guess what??...... Todays the day!!!

Relationship? FAIL

I think women have more to lose in a failed marriage than a man because they have built up the idea more than men do. That’s why women sometimes hang in there longer than men…they don’t want it to be a failure so they stick their head in the sand and wait for someone else to make a decision.

It's just a matter of opinions
It's not a simple fact
Why don't you try to see the other side
Don't turn your back

Bring it……..bring some understanding. I rather like it when everyone pulls theyre weight. I bet on you. You bet on me. I make you happy. You make me smile. Deal?


Ca88andra said...

Way to make me think! I like it. The bit about why women hang in there longer than men - I hadn't thought of it in that way and you could well be right. Very interesting post.

April said...

Well considering this is 2011 and not the 1800's, you would think that men would would have it sink in that women don't want them to be selfish, no? I mean, really? Maybe you men are slower than I thought. HAHA! =)

Why are you bothering with the younger girls? I feel like if I were you, I'd rather have the women my age with baggage than the younger, confused women who have no idea what they want. Especially if they're the ones using the word sick.

f1trey said...

@ Cass- yeah its interesting women will seem to put up with crap alot longer than men will.....just to keep the dream alive so to speak.....guys tend to bail if it stinks....hmmmmm

@ April- touche babe....seriously i would enjoy a woman closer to my age with kids....i enjoy being a good dad....side note :its interesting that most women will say "i dont want a man aroudn..the kids get attached then he leaves" but all that really does is say "momma cant find a normal relationship...... :)

KittyCat said...

I think to some degree when you get to a certain age your supposed to grow up and be responsible.
I think however if you becoming too responsbile then you loose the best part of what maked You, YOU.

Just be yourself. : )

f1trey said...

@KC- cool.....yeah dont like lettin go of my youth!