whatcha ona bout girl??

whatcha ona bout girl??
A retrospective on the inner workings of love, flying pancakes, mensa disasters, dandelion cookies, number bending, super salt, bubblegum oysters, chicken spit, crystal kidneys, guerilla carrots, polychromatic tofu, paraphysics, tender vigilanties, black sand, phillastine placebos, wood soup, buttered shuttlecocks, apostrophe training, fish whips, bleeding speed, plastic fantastic lobster telephones, venus drug rehab, clowns on fire, kiosks on a leash, marshmello overcoats, bottled light, fried blood, unbridled hyperthyroidism, folding wine, amygdula tickling, fainting in coils, hamburgers for the apocalypse, plastic memes, and conjugal fritters.....well...the love parts true

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

The friend zone, Switch flippin and Mikes market


The best relationships that I can remember were the ones that started with friendship. There were ones that turned you into a grinning puppet….And there were the ones that screamed instant lust. When you’re looking for love it’s easy to accidentally undervalue friendship as a starting point. Dude I want the dizziness and butterflies too….dont get me wrong…A blank stare usually means I’m not thinking right. As I get older it seems just as hard to find the treasure of true friends as it is a worthwhile lover. I know there are plenty of folks that will say they’ve had friends stab them in the back but it seems people trust their friends MORE than their lovers…. Ya know??? I mean Im looking for someone who can flip my switch… but really I’m looking for someone who’s a friend that flips my switch. Does that make sense? Now I can’t take credit here.

Ah you’re the best friend
That I ever had
Been with you such a long time
You’re my sunshine

In forth grade Jody and I decided to take our 2 bucks and go to Mikes market on foot. If we went on foot the trip was sure to take a while and dude TWO….count em TWO bucks!!!!…..how would we carry all that loot home???! A perfect summer day. Birds…….crickets…....sun……..no worries…....no schedule……...and then………..Jody SCREAMS!!!!!!! ………..and picks up a five dollar bill!!!!………shoot……..it would take me over a month…….a MONTH to get that kind of allowance….he was jumping up and down and waving it around…..gr..….eat……and then I look down…….another five dollar bill!!!!! OH YEAH DUDE……. We’re jumpin,, we’re singin…….real treasure. We run the rest of the way yelling….FIVE BUCKS !!!! FIVE BUCKS!!!!
So we load up…… ALL the wacky packages, swamp thing comic books, fistfuls of candy bars, 100 pieces of gum (just to be safe)…….trip after trip to the counter….the bounty in piles…….by the time were done… each had a grocery bag FULL….and I mean FULL of sugar. A boy’s bag of dreams. Yeah dude……what sting o diabetes??? I wasn’t sure what diabetes was…..its sounded cool though……I didn’t care I had TREASURE!! Were stuffin our mouths……. before we EVEN leave the store.
This bubble is as big as my head!! OOK!! OOK!...... Itha wecord!!!.....Itha wecord!! We had so much energy it just HAD to be a good idea to jump off the football fields announcers box onto those sponges…..HAD to be. Oh yeah were buzzin……after 30 minutes of flips and funniest look jumps we raised the stakes. What’s better than jumping off???? …ummmm……. Jumping off……. NAKED!!!! Yeah dude……a sugar buzz does strange things……
Trey ….. youre a sooooper genius……I know all this…..yeah that’s true. But I gotta tell ya…..I need reminding myself…cause there have been times I have picked a lover (including my ex wife) that I wouldn’t even have as a friend…..bet you have too…. Fair-weather, short tempered, selfish….........friendship…...FAIL

OOO you’re makin me live
Whenever this world is cruel to me
I’ve got you to help me forgive

Bring it………bring friendship. All the gum in the world means nothing if there’s no one to share it with. We never got caught and the day was as much fun as two friends could have. No bills, No planning, No regrets……. Jody was just a friend…. The kind that you CANT forget and CANT find in the adult world…..
I find people looking for love but not for friends anymore… I guess the friend zone is not the place to get stuck….. I don’t worry about that….I could never stop love from happening when it was right…. The friend zone wasn’t an issue. Since love is built on trust I cant think of a better foundation than friendship. Someone you can laugh ……cry…...trust …..and be yourself with Love and friendship are rare treasures.....….finding both together??????.........priceless……want some gum?

21 comments:

Diane said...

Man, I'm so with you on this one. But I have to admit, I'm a bit overloaded in the male friendship department... not so much in the 'friendship-cum-relationship' one... sigh.

Gray said...

You are right, it is the ones that you have a great friendship with that will outlast the moments of lust. Now I just need to find that friend.

Miss Angie said...

It's completely true! I want to find someone who is my best friend, as well as my lover. A relationship built on friendship is a much sturdier foundation than a relationship built on lust or fantasties of complete romance. Those are for books, give me someone real who likes to throw that in once in a while!

Much Love!

Violet said...

My sister's marriage is in rough waters right now. They have been married for 16 years, together for about 20, I think. When she was talking about their current sitch, she said "we're still best friends" and I responded "then you'll be fine."

Yes, they need to find the lust again but lust is like fireworks - it burns hot and bright and when it lights up the sky, there is nothing so wonderful. But there are long moments between the bursts of light/lust where we need friendship to fill the void. Deep, true, loving friendship is the backbone of any real, lasting relationship.

The Invisible Seductress said...

I miss that so much. The laughs late at night. "sneaking" to do something silly. Now I'm sad. Great, you made me laugh AND cry!! I'm such a girl!! Great post ! But us girls were already swooning over you!!

f1trey said...

@ Diane- I understand....but it could be worse.......ya know?? keep pluggin!

@Gray- I got some intersting ideas on that...but its too long to blog about... if that is really your mindset youre in good shape... dontcha think???

f1trey said...

@ Angie- right on! im a BIG fan of reality trumps everything..leave the fantasy for spielberg!

@ Violet- as long as there are no fidelity issues..they got a shot.... XXX OOO

f1trey said...

@ Invisible- ya know thats partly my point...the friendship of youth would be a wonderful thing to bring into adulthood..... childhood friends kick butt.....its only adults that ry to screw things over....
swoon? hehehe

Just telling it like it is said...

I hear ya...but how do you find everything...can you have everything...I once did...
He was my best friend, a great lover and I thought I would be with him forever...I spent all my time with him and he with I...until I got a call from his wife (which I knew nothing about) so you see...I have trust issues even if the person is my best friend...
Your a good man

f1trey said...

@ Just- I am SO sory...quiet for a minute....that.....just sucks.....if you dont want to dig up old bones i understand but i would love to hear the story if thats possible....

GOOD MAN???? OH NO!!!!! the kiss of death!!! arrgghh...... say its not so!!!

MaLou Silverman said...

I agree, it's hard to find friends....just as hard to find a worthwhile lovers. No truer words ring like that, you're cool.
Every day I pray that my hubby and I find really good friends ......without sexual undertones......is that ever possible...

Shelly Rayedeane said...

I think friendship is very important. My only problem is I have a tendency to find really great friends and the passion sucks or the passion rocks and we never get along. Lol.

Just telling it like it is said...

No problem.... You know that is the only time in my life that I loved him enough to love his wife and try and not cause her the least of hurt that I could....stay intune and I will write about it soon....The only thing that came out of it was that I lost someone whom was like my best friend...and then I turned away from him....I will always love that summer that I spent with him...it taught me so much

f1trey said...

@ Malou- Interesting.... I have heard the older folks get the more liberal married couples get with their fidelity..... not saying I agree with it..but im willing to bet youre going to have a rough time filling that friend void.....is that your experience?

f1trey said...

@ shelly- I agree!!! that is a problem for me as well.....its hard to be happy with half a package isnt it......rats!

@ Just- very silent..........I ......have a similar story......it has taken a long time to reflect that a relationship gone bad was indeed full of good memories...for a long time it seemed .........damn I hear you!....... that the loss would prevail......but now i am healed and the memory of good times brings a smile but the relationship is over and gone.... :)....wow! That is such a hard concept to convey to someone! Im looking forward to hearing about yours... :)

Julie said...

I am 100% with you on this one!

April said...

While I don't think that all great relationships start out with the people being friends, I do think it's key to find friendship in your relationship.

One of the best things about my relationship with Joe is that I can be myself. The self I am around my friends. The goofy, silly, singing off key, dancing like Elaine from Seinfeld, making stupid jokes...ME.

I can tell him the embarrassing things. I can tell him about my past, good and bad. I can tell him everything. We can be stupid together. We can talk serious, talk trash, or talk nonsense and still be on the same page. He IS my best friend. And if he wasn't my boyfriend, he would totally be my friend.

He has 2 girl-friends that were his friends first and they tried venturing into a relationship. It didn't work, but they've remained good friends. To me that says a lot.

As always, you're right Oh Wise One. =)

f1trey said...

@ Julie- hehehe good! LOL

@ April- Now Im NOT gonna wish any bad luck on Joes part ...but if he should happen to....well......leave....I wnat to know about it! lol!

Kimberly said...

Never made a friend& then dated. I've dated & then become friends. Does that count for something?

f1trey said...

@ Kimberly- Really? so its the instant desire thing first always for you? huh....even back in high school?

Kimberly said...

Even in High School. As a matter of fact an old flame is doing a favor for me for my parents tomorrow. The old flame is one of my better friends - we tried dating twice, once in HS & then once in real life, but it didn't work out that way for he and I.