whatcha ona bout girl??

whatcha ona bout girl??
A retrospective on the inner workings of love, flying pancakes, mensa disasters, dandelion cookies, number bending, super salt, bubblegum oysters, chicken spit, crystal kidneys, guerilla carrots, polychromatic tofu, paraphysics, tender vigilanties, black sand, phillastine placebos, wood soup, buttered shuttlecocks, apostrophe training, fish whips, bleeding speed, plastic fantastic lobster telephones, venus drug rehab, clowns on fire, kiosks on a leash, marshmello overcoats, bottled light, fried blood, unbridled hyperthyroidism, folding wine, amygdula tickling, fainting in coils, hamburgers for the apocalypse, plastic memes, and conjugal fritters.....well...the love parts true

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

The luck department, the one month job, and the LAST lawyer…ever



Every word of this is true and if anyone says otherwise they are a liar.  I know this has been long, but we are slowly arriving into the recent past. Hehehe I think that makes sense….  Remember this is all just a recounting of things past….. big smile.  There is always light at the end of the tunnel…..sometimes you just have to wait to see it.  Now I can’t take credit here

There’s a message
On the wire
And I’m sending you this signal tonight

Missing you indeed.  Eventually Shanna and I moved to charlotte.  Money was very tight…it was very hard to find work……and I was making less and less with each job.  It wasn’t my fault hospitals just started paying less and less. But that didn’t stop Mary from demanding more and more money.  It really made no sense.   Attorneys kept saying I needed to pay more.   I had bought another boat because I needed a place to stay when I went to see the kids……I can hear Mary saying “oh your fathers rich” but that was never the case …I spent everything to get it and even borrowed money …..because it was a way to see the kids…..not because I wanted a boat..  It was a place to stay so I could see them on the weekends.  Jordan was happy to come.  Jennings hated it.
We were living in Atlanta and understandably I was missing my kids so bad. And then my heart broke. Shanna ….well…out of respect ….i will be kind and just say…she messed things up between us…not on purpose….but the damage was done because my kids ended up being the victims…. And I would not allow it to happen again.
... I felt so bad for my kids….. I had not seen them in months, missed them so badly and could not believe what had happened. The love of my life had, in the space of an hour destroyed our relationship….. and my kids still didn’t have the dad they deserved.
I took on extra work for the weekends and another job as an FDA consultant.  So I was working three jobs. 
I naively thought I could get back in their lives. The consulting job put me in DC so I would be closer to them so I took the chance and moved.  It took all my money to get there.

The job lasted one month

When I got my paycheck it was much less than I was told I would be getting.  Frantically I took a job in West Virginia. That way at least I could see them on the weekends.
The pay was shit but I was glad to finally get close to them. 

But that didn’t happen.

My daughter was gone. Understandably consumed with anger and bitterness for the family that was broken and hatred for me because i was not there for her…and when I was she couldn’t stand to be near me.   At this point she didn’t want me around.  And i confess that i was broken because i never wanted any of that for her. I desperately wanted to be a good dad but never got a chance. There were many months that i could not afford a place to live because my child support was too high and i could not afford a place to stay AND make child support payments. Unfortunately the salary in wv was so bad that I couldn’t afford to go see them …gas prices were too high….. yeah money was THAT tight…that I couldn’t afford the three hour trip on weekends to go see them.  Pot pies were fifty cents apiece and a weeks supply of dinner was $3.50 plus tax.

But Mary by god she got her check.

Hehe on the bright side…I was playing a lot of guitar around town and three seasons of semipro football was way too much fun.

Then I got the wonderful news that my educational loan decided to garnish my wages…. taking out 700$ a month out of my paycheck……..for the next 25 years.  Not bad for a degree I couldn’t use.
It seems every attorney I approached was a fantastic liar.  I still wonder why that’s a surprise.  They would say things to reassure me then completely do the opposite once in the courtroom.  I made less and they just pulled numbers out of their ass and said I owed it. It was a lawyer trick…tell the client what they want to hear…get you in front of the judge where they knew you wouldn’t do anything to embarrass yourself…then screw you over because they had arranged it all  ….together before you went in….then afterward share the next wonderful plan of how to fix it…..which was sure to screw you over some more……then send you a bill…
I naively thought I would attempt just once to get the child support adjusted correctly.   The attorney ASSURED me… he had NEVER lost a petition to get it lowered.  But guess what????  The day before going to court he told me …you guessed it…..it was going up!!!  Same story… claim you cant lose…go to court …fuck it up….come out and say “calm down everythings ok…I can fix this” which is EXACTLY what happened.

……that’s billable right?

Like I say…every word of this is true…..  I made 33 percent less now than when the court decided what I should pay five years ago.  It doesn’t take much brain power to realize that a chief tech position in a big Roanoke hospital pays a lot more than a staff tech in Podunk west Virginia.  Of course what I should pay is culmination of my exes income and mine.  Guess what ???  she told her attorney (with no proof) that she made 90 k/year!!!!!!!  45 dollars an hour????  Really???  Really???  Where do I sign up???

The luck department was not only out to lunch…. They had been replaced by the fuck Trey department.  Fully staffed …..fully funded. 


SIDEBAR: Ready?? Using this formula…if my wife claimed she made half a million dollars a year and I made 50 k/year…I would owe her …….every penny I make…..just 50k/year.  What a deal!

Lets see that leaves me…….nothing….zero. ….at all.

Wait a minute…. I take that back…that’s only 10 percent of the total income..... which is waaaaaayyy too low.  So let make it a more reasonable number..say 20 percent of the total…..  ok that’s sounds better.
So lets see here...lets say I made 50 k/year and she made half a mil.  I only owe…….a reasonable 100k/year …….with my 50k/year salary…….. Reasonable.

SIDEBAR 2: My attorney was a genius…….The same attorney that couldn’t do math outlined just how we would proceed when I told him that my son wanted to come live with me. It went like this:  QUOTE
“Let’s see if you can spend more time with him. Can you ask your exwife if you can spend more time with him???  We’’ll document that over the next year..…and then petition the courts”
My unspoken answer went: Where did you get your law degree?? Disneyland?? You’re a moron.  Do you want to do this before or after my wife gets papers on the issue or even THINKS that we are going to attempt to let him come live with me???  Because the SECOND she finds out she will effortlessly make a fake call and lie to the police that I threatened her life and guess what I get??? A restraining order.  You’ve heard of those??  Most attorneys I thought knew about those.  Surely I can even get some jail time with that too.  It will look great on my resume.
Hey Ive got an idea…  after I have to give the bondsman….everything I own to come up with the money to get out of jail…..I can call you for help!!!!!!!  ……. That’s billable?? Right????
 Now I want to make sure.. this will happening AFTER you get to bill me for a year’s work that is guaranteed….GUARANTEED to fail  but also insure…INSURE….that I cant get another job….EVER….AND…… cant see my son …….at all. ..AT ALL…..….right????  That’s your plan??? Really???  Really??? 

I cant imagine why I would be upset.

I’ll say it again.  If you’re an attorney I’ll be happy to meet you somewhere and beat the shit out of you.

With wonderful advice like this its easy to see why the Fuck Trey department was so successful…everyone  on board, maximum fucking.   By now it was ready to go national…an IPO offering…… Were talking Wallmart, Starbucks, Applebees ……it cant lose…brilliant!!!!! and lastly….great advice……

thanks for your help. 

 I slept in my car many nights just to make child support payments and she was always threatening to take me back to court for more……When I was living in my car.  Unfortunately the money was so bad in WV  that I couldn’t afford to go see my kids …gas prices were too high…..Then…. The water got cut off….. the heat got cut off…..The car broke down……..so I walked to work every day.

Back to the world….Jordan, who did his best, was and is wonderful fun and a great son. I would get him every few weeks ( thats all i could afford) and spend weekends on the boat…..before the car stopped working. 
I would pick him up for the weekend and my heart broke knowing my daughter was hiding so she didnt have to see me.
She had worked hard to let me know she didnt want me around and i finally gave in.  I couldnt fight anymore to try and reach her. 
It was too painful....

For my daughter:  you are a strong girl and I am proud of you! Remember the little book I gave you.  I remember you said to me that you “never listen to anything” your mom or I tell you.  You’re mom and I love you very much.  In many ways you are more than she ever was or ever could be.  I know she is proud of you too…….big smile

For my son:  “Throw the ball” really isn’t fantastic advice when your pitching baseball.  Develop your talents…..learn your weaknesses and make them strong.  You will need a lot of self endurance and dedication to get through this world.  If you don’t take time to grow your own spirit…..  you will not find happiness.  Take on tasks that may seem hard at first…and complete them…….a reward is something you earn…..you will get irreplaceable satisfaction from conquering something hard. …. and if you can’t complete a task…give it everything you’ve got. 

I aint missin you
I can lie to myself

Bring it…..bring some patience.  Hehehee.  I got plenty to share….big smile…..and im pretty tough…  This is all winding down….the present is just around the corner.  Malapit na.

2 comments:

ManilenyaMom said...

Hi, thanks for the blog walk to my Pink Sparkles blog. Not an active one but it serve its purpose from time to time. I also have an american friend who goes through the same thing regarding child support. His wife is a Filipina too, which makes it kind of really unfortunate. Pinays were described to be "all that" in a way. I'm sorry about your situation with your kids, I know it must hurt you a lot, I'm a single parent myself and if there were any way for me to make life easier for them, I would. Just hang in there. Best regards, Marissa.

me said...

@Manilenyamom- hehee no hahaha my ex wife wasnt a pinay! hahaha cano lang!hahaha tinata nang ko lang para sa pinay!