whatcha ona bout girl??

whatcha ona bout girl??
A retrospective on the inner workings of love, flying pancakes, mensa disasters, dandelion cookies, number bending, super salt, bubblegum oysters, chicken spit, crystal kidneys, guerilla carrots, polychromatic tofu, paraphysics, tender vigilanties, black sand, phillastine placebos, wood soup, buttered shuttlecocks, apostrophe training, fish whips, bleeding speed, plastic fantastic lobster telephones, venus drug rehab, clowns on fire, kiosks on a leash, marshmello overcoats, bottled light, fried blood, unbridled hyperthyroidism, folding wine, amygdula tickling, fainting in coils, hamburgers for the apocalypse, plastic memes, and conjugal fritters.....well...the love parts true

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

3rd grade Haiku, The first affair, and the coming of scrumpalumpers!!




Every word of this is true and if anyone says otherwise they are a liar. Life is good….big smile.  I miss my kids though and hope they are treating each other well.  One day we will be able to have normal contact.  But for now that can’t be.  I hope one day they will understand.  Now I can’t take credit here.

This is the end
Beautiful friend

The last few months of school I met a girl named Mary. 
I asked someone about her six months before and they said she was dating someone….so I forgot about her.  Near the end of school they came back to me and said “said she was available..  I said “who?”  I had forgotten about her totally but asked her out anyway.  I had heard some bad things about her sleeping around….every time I saw her she was looking down….. at herself walk. She was definitely not my type.   The night we were supposed to go out I told a friend to tell her that I was too busy to go. She never got the message and showed up anyway. There were many signs we should not have been together….. I just ignored them. She fell asleep in the theater during our first date when we were watching silence of the lambs which is absolutely unbelievable and then I found out she actually cheated on her boyfriend that weekend just to be with me.  As I would find out later that was a regular theme for her…and all her friends.  Her friends were all that way too.  She ran (and still does) with a trashy crowd….birds of a feather.     
We moved to Roanoke to start a family and build a home.  Mary had gotten a job as a staff technologist at memorial and I had gotten a great job as chief technologist for a mobile operation. We lived with her parents for a few months while the house was being built. I was proud of myself because I had done many things inside the house to make it more like we wanted.  I built a rock wall by hand and our own pool.  I had skylights put in and wired it for sound. And the central vacuum I was very proud of.   Later on my neighbor Hal and I built a large screened in porch off the master bedroom……and the laundry shute…  (which she boarded up after I left). 
I tried my hand at painting……to put some art in the house…but I was no good!!  My sister got all of that talent. . 
Jennings was born and our life was fantastic.  My wife was working only three days a week had a Mercedes, a pool and a maid.  What more could you want?  Jennings will never appreciate how beautiful she was as a young child.  She was absolutely gorgeous. Such a joy..i wish I had the video…….scrumpalumpers!!!!!!!!!!!   Soon after that my wife quit her job at Carilion.  she told me it was because she did not want to work there ….the truth I found out later was that she was causing too much trouble with the male doctors by flirting with them….we had only been married a few months.. Truth is they didn't want her there because she was causing too much trouble. 
Then I got a great offer to help start another company…and I was going to be a part owner and things were great...... For about 5 months ...once i had done all the work to get them started ... They fired me and replaced me with some no name guy who could barely speak English.  No that’s not a joke.. I was stunned.  I told them they would not last 3 months..... I was happy to know they only lasted a few weeks. Stupid sucks.   I had to have a job…… and fast so i took a job that was three hours away …. it was the only one I could get. ... This meant I was only home on the weekends... I was sad but there wasn’t anything i could do. Little did I know that my wife was sneaking her boyfriend in after she put Jennings to bed while I was out of town..  That’s how I found out about the first affair.  I came home from being on the road and he was parked outside (at midnight) one night and I traced his car tags.  Sure enough when I mentioned the name to her…she knew him……he was a sales guy that she saw at work.  It got worse from there.  I got schooled ….and educated…..fast.  She was having an affair…..all her friends knew it and it was a great source of entertainment for them all (they were having affairs too). 
I noticed two things then…. my wife spent every cent I deposited and my daughter was growing apart from me. I spent nothing and every week Mary would say “we have no money.”  I found out why .... She was wasting it all. 50 dollar lunches for her friends, 300 dollar phone bills to her mom…  whatever I deposited she spent it ….down to the last penny.  I would have to borrow gas money sometimes just to get home.  Things got bad quickly.  I hadn’t realized that we were so different. When I met her she had been working in ultrasound for years ….but had nothing to show for it.  Where had all that money gone???? I was educated and she……..wasn’t.. and it was obvious.  She had gone to an xray program and then ultrasound….not college.  We could not have been more different. 
SIDEBAR: I have to put this in here.  Ready???? She has always lied and told the kids she went to college she just..........cant find her diploma.  hahahaha unbelievable.  She cant find her diploma.....Rrrriiiiiigggghhtt.  Yes mommy cant find her diploma.
back to the world.   I would eventually get my masters degree and she ….well…….had certainly …finished high school.  She eventually had to stop doing Jennings homework for her around 6th  grade because quite frankly …she couldn’t do it.  One of my favorite jokes was that she got honorable mention in Jennings third grade haiku contest!  Hahha she didn’t even place…she got….honorable mention.  By then I had published at least ten articles in various science journals and health care magazines.  I had even designed a radioactive syringe shield and had a prototype built but sadly nothing became of it.  Yeah I was proud of who I was.  But hard working, honesty and dedication proved to be worthless in the land of the vindictive.  It just makes you a target.  I remember begging my wife for 9 years…count them…9 years…to get our daughter to sleep in her own bedroom. I was told “everyone does this…..its normal Trey” and yes you read that right…our daughter slept with us every night until we divorced.  Of course then she made her sleep in the other room so she could have guys over.

For my daughter:  I know you have bad memories of an unhappy home life when we were all together.  I’m really sorry for that.  I was fighting a battle I couldn’t win with your mom.  I know that was upsetting.  I want you to know I have never worked so hard to fix something and I don’t believe for a second that our marriage failed because I didn’t try everything humanly possible.  I did.  The agony of it all was that it affected you so badly.  I still wish the best for you and hope one day you understand.

For my son:  I remember playing Godzilla xbox buddy and throwing Frisbee and football…fishing at the boat and watching school of rock, pee wee herman, shooting your gun and doing your back flip off the poles in E dock. ..dont you forget those good times !!!

Of our elaborate plans, the end

Of everything that stands, the end
No safety or surprise, the end
I'll never look into your eyes...again

Bring it…..bring that silver lining.  It may seem small sometimes but I would rather see it and share it than lose it.

POSTSCRIPT: Justin? Erica?  Really??  hahaha  think ill wait for steak.
POSTSCRIPT DEUX: I have to record this story because otherwise ill forget it! hehehe  I remember one time STING was on saturday night live....and i said something about the police..and she said... "STING was in the police?"..my jaw dropped.  Im old now but ......there is NO way...NO way you could have been in high school in 1981 and NOT have known that sting was in the police.  You would HAVE to be a full blown moron.  Literally..thats like not knowing who the president is, who your mother was or what school you went to.  I can understand if you were from an old blind woman from zimbabwe and didnt know ....but that would be like a high school girl in chicago today not knowing who beyonce is.......really.

2 comments:

Maria Lourdes C. Silverman said...

Trey, glad that you're out of that relationship. You are a ptaient guy, staying for 9 years!

me said...

@ malou hehehehe truthfully it was HER tactic to stay together for ten years because then she was eligible for my social security.....it was part of her plan to hang in there ....so the divorce came exactly 10 years and two months..right on her schedule..... pure evil