The slow skate, Van Halen bliss, and star wars mania

Every word of this is true and if anyone else says otherwise they are a liar. Right now that statement has little meaning without a reference.  The reason for such a disclosure isn’t apparent……but in a few years…I mean blogs…it will be clear.  Now I can’t take credit here.

My dad finally had a stable job and he decided to move everything back to Roanoke where his family was.  This was great I got to see all my old friends because we moved back into the same house we lived in before.   I was so lucky….  To see all my old friends again..it was great!Around 1976 to about 1979… many things happened .  My life changed quite a bit which is no surprise…… First I must say that Church camp had always been an important part of my life and I had gone for many years but now it took on a new meaning. I was spending more time with friends that went to church and and camp and that really gave me backbone.  I was eventually lucky enough to go to Puerto rico to help victims of hurricane hugo with a church group.  The lessons I learned there stay with me and it was guidance I needed and close friendships that were not out in the real world…… or at home.  And secondly I discovered music when I was in seventh grade. I can't express how important this was in my life. Ted Nugent, Foghat, and of course Van Halen blew everything away. My son understands ...atomic punk...on fire....light up the sky......good god.

Camp Bethel gave me direction and course and I was happy with who I was  and knew I would be a moral man. The direction I needed was something I did not get it home and so I was glad to have it and embraced it.
That is also the year that Star Wars hit the theater.  I can't express how exciting this was to go to a theater and see the movie on the big screen .. In fact when the movie came we would all get together and try to find out ways we could get to the theater to watch it ……we would watch it once, twice, even three times in a day.. ..sneaking back in….. Our parents would drop us off at 12 o'clock and we would watch the movie three times in a row and they would pick us up late that night. This went on for months. The movie had such a positive message and it was such great fun to watch on the big screen.  Back then there were only 2 movie theaters.  One at crossroads mall and one at towers mall (both of which are gone now).
Summer days we would spend climbing tinker mountain and spray painting our names on hay rock.  A few of us would go without asking parents of course and be gone all day.  A back pack with poptarts, cheese crackers and a jug of coolaid to split 3 ways.  Looking down on lord Botetourt high school from the mountain top and carvins cove on the other side…eagles swirling on the wind below…it was satisfying as a boy to make the trip. 

 I would spend lots of time at the roller skating rink on Herschberger Rd …the disco lights and loud music really made a Saturday afternoon in the winter.  Skating slow and holding hands with girls.   I have to admit at this point in time my physical prowess was impressive.  I could skate better, run faster,  jump higher play harder than anybody.. Kids three or four years old me were nothing…. I could wipe them clean.  At that point I joined the swimming team at Tinkerview pool…and we would train indoors at hotel Roanoke….all winter… Before I was done with the swim team I must of had at least 100 Ribbons ….first places …second places …third-place and always on the podium.  It reminds me of my daughter and gymnastics.  At 15 I was in the championships for tennis at the club.   I even went to Canada to go skiing!!!  Man that was great!  I even got to use some French!

For all my running around I was still very much determined to be a good person, a good boy, a good man. Some Saturdays we would go to Copperfields  (which is gone now) and dance like the adults do.  Haha. Only teenagers were allowed in and we would dance with the disco lights going and the music real loud…  Michael Jackson, Rod stewart, heatwave.   I always won the dance contests when I went there and that was such a great feeling to have everybody watch you and to know that you entertained them.   I have always been comfortable speaking in public or on stage.  I set the bar high for myself and yes I did have a temper every once in a while when I did not meet my own expectations.  I never liked disappointing myself.  School was still a struggle for me as I did not care about Isosceles triangles.  In eighth grade my flag football team was in the championships for the school and we crushed the opposition…. I was unstoppable and proud. Baseball was ok but I was not as good a player as my son is….I miss seeing him.  Youre great buddy!!  Even in basketball …much better than I was.

That’s when I started developing many close friendships.. Jody Emick's dad was a judge, Jack Frailin's dad was a doctor, Joel wood's dad was a psychologist,  and Johnny Frailin's dad was an architect.  It became clear that I was the kid from the other side of the tracks as I said..   their houses were bigger and nicer and it was obvious that they came from money….. and I didn't.  I have to say that never bothered me..it was just a fact..i was rough around the edges.  Rather I was proud of bootstrapping my life. 

Those were the three big influences on my life at that point …Church camp, music and the movie Star Wars. Going to camp bethel every summer really shaped me it gave me a lot of background morals that I did not get it home.  It was a very powerful place full of very kind sweet people and lots of fun.  So yes the church shaped me in many ways. 

 In sixth grade I would go to crossroads Mall and would look at the stereos for hours and hours just dreaming of having one.  I saved up all my money and bought the biggest one that I could.  I would place the speakers 2 feet apart facing each other and I would sit between them and crank up the volume until my head would vibrate.  If it wasn’t loud…it sucked.  The parents made me buy headphones.  Hehehe.  I can't express how important this time was for me….. to discover music as such a powerful thing in my life.  Aerosmith, bad company, Boston, styx, rush, yes….. In seventh grade I went to Jack Frailin's house and his brother had a drum set. He couldn’t play it and I spent every dime I had just to buy it from him.  I never had a lesson but within one year I kid you not I was as good a drummer as anything you could hear on the radio. Truthfully I was fantastic…. I could play any song.  Period…. I was very proud of that ….at such a young age with no lessons I seemed to know how to play automatically.  My parents however never acknowledged that. I never heard them say once that they were proud of me or that I did a good job or that it was amazing that I could play so well. They just didn't give a shit.  My mom would just walk in and yell stop when she got home.  Waving her arms with a disgusted look on her face. It was disappointing…but not surprising.

When my mom got upset she would spank me with this big wooden spoon.  But one day I remember clearly all that changed…I was getting bigger.  I believe I was about 14 and had said something that my mom obviously didn’t like.  She raced to the kitchen drawer and whipped out the spoon and starting running toward me.  When she got close to me I remember cocking my arm back ….planting my feet and rotating my shoulders…..my fists as hard as rocks.  She stopped dead in her tracks….the spoon high in the air…and shock on her face.  I was …..not playing…one more step and I would have knocked her unconscious. 

Oh yeah…I forgot to  mention…… I had Judo lessons……….they paid off.

We had not been close but that was surely a turning point for both of us.  I remember years later my mom screaming at my dad “either he goes …….or I go!!!!”   Did I mention there wasn’t much love in the house?  Hehehe

For my daughter:  I will always regret that you never got to see your mother and I happy together.  I truly tried..with everything I had….for many years…the truth is…your mother never tried….at all……to make our relationship work….not once…..ever.  The bad times you remember when you were young was frustration from me after years of exhaustion of trying to reach your mother….and failing.

For my son:  You were a rock buddy…you did so well during that period that was hard on our family.  I’m sorry for you too.  You have been through a lot. 

Bring it………bring the truth..its coming….mistakes and apologies too. 

POSTSCRIPT:  Incidentally the exgf gets some applause….  She texted that she made a mistake and would do anything to fix it.  With the quote “please take me back”.  …..several times…which was sweet but Ive been through it before….. wo its best just to let it go.