whatcha ona bout girl??

whatcha ona bout girl??
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Monday, June 22, 2009

an apology???

I got an apology the other day from an ex and I have my own thoughts about it. But its nice to hear what others think. Can I get a reaction from you on this? She messed it up, bad. (in front of my children). I get an email a year and a half later. An email. “I’m sorry it didn’t work out for us”. I get one or two other emails . Basically one or two short sentences and that’s it. whats your first reaction to that?

9 comments:

The Romantic Seul said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Romantic Seul said...

C'mon, dish some dirt, whadya mean "messed it up, bad"?

"I'm sorry... it didn't work out for us" is not an apology. "I'm sorry.. I screwed up" is an apology. But the main question is, is there anything she can do to get back with you? If so, show her the hoop she's gotta jump through, and see if she jumps. If not, what's to say?

Personally I can't stand that trite, safe, from-a-distance crap, especially if it doesn't contain the apology I'm due. From a guy, I'd expect it means he's hoping time has cured my baseless moodiness and I'm ready to get back in the sack with him.

f1trey said...

Thanks I appreciate that! I never showed her the hoops..i thought she should have to figure that out... She did say she was sorry...but I was thinking like you....a real apology would have been more than a couple sentances in an email.... PS i can see why you might shun those guys who through a pity party a few months later and try to throw out their line again......

Diane said...

I'm with The Romantic Seul 100%... it wasn't an apology. An apology is when you say, "I'm sorry for whatever wrong thing I did." I got a similar email not too terribly long ago... "I'm sorry it didn't work out for us." My response? "I'm not. I'm a lot happier without you." I never heard from him again. Which is how I like it.

The Romantic Seul said...

I think you might not be hearing me - and Diane. Just because the word "sorry" is in the sentence doesn't indicate an apology. Your ex is just bemoaning an unkind fate, not evidencing awareness that she screwed up let alone remorse for her actions. That's the same as "I'm sorry you flipped out on me for no reason, hope you're over it, wanna hook up?" A real apology might be brief: "I wish I could take back what I did, is there any way I can earn your forgiveness?" -One sentence badabing. I'm probably being redundant here, but in my world this is a major human problem. Worth repeating the point.

f1trey said...

Thanks you two...The rose glasses need a washing...or maybe a swift kick in the head to break them permanently. I usually have great headgame radar but mayabe its a tad rusty......

Violet said...

"I'm sorry it didn't work out" is not an apology, it is regret.

I think it sounds like this chick wants to get back together with you. IMO, she at the very least owes you a sincere apology for acting badly in front of your children.

f1trey said...

@ Violet..... thanks! Im glad to know im not nuts..just a dullard! hehehe I thought the same thing ..that she owed my kids an apology... think about it for a second..if the shoes were on the other feet....do you think i could send an email to fix that??? no way. Thats something that romantic seul hit on...she was thinking I should show her what hoops to jump through but I think she should have to figure that out for herself..im not going to give her a blueprint......but then again she never ASKED what she could do to fix it.....Romatic seul was right on.....

Love, Evolution, and Resilience said...

There is nothing worse in the world than an unfelt insincere apology. I actually did an entire post on the correct way to apologize... hmmmm now if only I remembered what it's called and where to find it... Ah well, remind me and I'll look it up...

Oh, and yeah, that's a really horrible apology... on her part.