whatcha ona bout girl??

whatcha ona bout girl??
A retrospective on the inner workings of love, flying pancakes, mensa disasters, dandelion cookies, number bending, super salt, bubblegum oysters, chicken spit, crystal kidneys, guerilla carrots, polychromatic tofu, paraphysics, tender vigilanties, black sand, phillastine placebos, wood soup, buttered shuttlecocks, apostrophe training, fish whips, bleeding speed, plastic fantastic lobster telephones, venus drug rehab, clowns on fire, kiosks on a leash, marshmello overcoats, bottled light, fried blood, unbridled hyperthyroidism, folding wine, amygdula tickling, fainting in coils, hamburgers for the apocalypse, plastic memes, and conjugal fritters.....well...the love parts true

Thursday, June 11, 2009

marriage, wrenches, and a good whip

I had a great normal childhood that did NOTHING to prepare me for marriage. The fact that all men are way behind women on this issue is a great source of frustration for those brides who weren’t aware they were marrying a thorough idiot. So it’s somewhat of a surprise that after a few years women realize the hubby is forgetful, selfish, and controlling. Coming soon to a fairytale near you? The big D…….
Men never sign up for second place …let alone last…… so its really a source of frustration for us to be told “the kids come first”. That’s very much a given for women who have been playing babies and house since they were young and dreaming of all the gifts a home brings. While your doing that , know what were doing? Throwing rocks, throwing footballs, learning to be aggressive and take charge….. my instructions on marriage consisted of “son….hand me that wrench”.
Hehehehehe I can laugh about it because I’m lucky. I understand that being in control doesn’t mean control your partner. Being in charge makes a woman feel safe and secure and that doesn’t come from telling her where she can go and what she can do. That’s a sign of insecurity.
Kinda like a whip. You could really hurt someone with it but used the right way it just might do some good. We are told to take control over our emotions, our bodies, finances, work......you get the idea? The problem is that some men dont know how to use the whip the right way.....Go easy on us......you mature faster than us and I rather like the thought of young untainted love.

6 comments:

Violet said...

My childhood didn't prepare me for marriage, either - I grew up in a very Ozzy & Harriet world and don't remember seeing my parents argue or have conflict. Which is ultimately just as dysfunctional as having parents who fight all the time.

IMO, the spouse should ALWAYS come first. I believe that if the parents are getting what they need from their relationship, the children will be happy. (Now, mind you, I don't have children - I wanted them very, very badly but they just weren't in the cards for me.) Those women (and some men) who put their children ahead of their spouse are doing the whole family a great disservice.

f1trey said...

Oh violet! hehehehe i think your right about the dysfunction thing.... parents who dont have public displays of affection when the children are around send a telling message....

AND any woman with kids will tell you the kids come first..... period..True story....... a guy i worked with was about to get married and i told him that the kids come first and he said the same thing you did..... I stopped what i was doing and we approached EVERY woman we saw one after another and asked which comes first the kids or the husband....without hesitation every one of them said the kids.. I wasnt finished...i made him go with me until we asked 100 women.....I made my point....reality trumps all....

The Romantic Seul said...

@Violet - I had a very unnormal childhood where -without being abused - I came LAST in the family. Dead last, after the pets. So of course, though I can't imagine being a child and coming first, I have a pretty harsh view of parental responsibilities. Did your parents put each other first, and you were happy? There's a happy medium? Can I get more on this please? And what do you think of a family where the STEPparent comes first? You know, the new spouse, but who doesn't necessarily feel for the child so much?

f1trey said...

Seul...is that you??? (duh) ....Im sorry darlin.. no wonder youre wary.... :( :)!!!!! if you are the romantic seul, then youre doing better than most! :)))

The Romantic Seul said...

Thank you - it wasn't THAT bad; thousands of kids have it worse. Gotta add, keep in mind that what somebody will tell a stranger on the street (or for that matter Child Protective Services at the door) may not jibe with the reality of their lives.

Love, Evolution, and Resilience said...

I'm not reading any of the other comments on your posts... just makes me rethink what I'm going to say... So, I think you are right. One of the things that was so sad for me in my own recently failed marriage, was that the ex refused to take control of anything, he never once paid attention to what I did with money or when the bills got paid. Now, sure I could have totally taken advantage of this, but that's just not how I roll. So, he was always free to not give a shit or worry about a thing. He just left his list of demands on the chalk board near the front door and I made sure it happened. I made sure everything happened.