whatcha ona bout girl??

whatcha ona bout girl??
A retrospective on the inner workings of love, flying pancakes, mensa disasters, dandelion cookies, number bending, super salt, bubblegum oysters, chicken spit, crystal kidneys, guerilla carrots, polychromatic tofu, paraphysics, tender vigilanties, black sand, phillastine placebos, wood soup, buttered shuttlecocks, apostrophe training, fish whips, bleeding speed, plastic fantastic lobster telephones, venus drug rehab, clowns on fire, kiosks on a leash, marshmello overcoats, bottled light, fried blood, unbridled hyperthyroidism, folding wine, amygdula tickling, fainting in coils, hamburgers for the apocalypse, plastic memes, and conjugal fritters.....well...the love parts true

Monday, December 21, 2009

The tango, a snow man, and a bag of bones


Oh man did we GET some snow. Its making things difficult. Beautiful….but difficult. Yeah dude…. I have NOT done my Christmas shoppin yet…… The car is snowed in and may not come out till Tuesday…..not good…. Christmas is coming SOON! I walked 3 miles to the gym and back on Saturday and spent 5 hours….walked again to the gym on Sunday…..New ankle weights and the snow turned the trek in to an exercise…….Oh well….when it snows…..make a snowman I guess.
I have several folks on my mind lately …..all having a rough personal time with their lovers. All for various reasons but… its hardship that’s proving tough…...testing…….questioning……..doubting……..is it over? How do I handle this? What now?
The good times are easy.
Suffice it to say some handle the pressure better than others…. But handling the pressure doesn’t fix the issue does it? I like being able to hit curveballs but if I don’t run the bases what good is it? Now I can’t take credit here.

Under pressure
Under pressure

Dude I am not the best at pickin up the pieces but two things come to mind. 1) What am I doing to help fix the problem that’s within my power (if I can save this thing) 2) What am I going to do now because ……its over. Yes….I AM a sooooper genius…. Aren’t I? LOL. But tell me ...if this is such common sense then why is it that people drag on.....revisiting the same questions with no resolution...over and over.?
I have to laugh because for our anniversary I bought my wife dance lessons thinking it was romantic and fun. Im half Italian so I was ready to pour the hot blood with a rose in my teeth. ..learning the Charleston, big band music…the two of us arm in arm having a good time…..learning the tango……well…it takes two…the money was wasted…….we never used the lessons….. Just like the bicycle built for two… I bought one for another anniversary thinking it would be romantic…. Her response? “why didn’t you just buy two bikes?” LOL……Romance? PASS…….Partner? FAIL.
When I went to take my SAT’s on a Saturday morning I was….. unprepared. Yeah dude…NO tools in the tool box. So I wasn’t looking forward to the experience and getting out of the car I………slammed my thumb in the door.
“YEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!!!” …..A………MM……MM…..A……$%&@! I could barely speak…my thumbnail black and blue, swelling by the second with pressure from the blood. I had to hold it over my head to keep from passing out and I stumbled in to the testing area, dazed. One arm permanently frozen ……above my head.
Question was…...just like my marriage…..what was I going to do now??....... Grit my teeth and go on. No choice.
It wasn’t pleasant…it wasn’t fun….but when I resigned myself to the fact that there was no alternative… I got peace……I got comfort. The results weren’t pretty but I KNEW I would survive…..NO question.
I’ve had relationships that were very important to me go bad. Question was…what was I going to do with the bones? What was I going to do to make sure I didn’t feel bad THIS weekend? next month? Next YEAR?? I don’t want to be reliving this ONE MORE TIME. What good would come from carrying a bag of bones around for a year?
Its OK to grieve….that’s normal….the end of love stinks for sure. Get it out. Let it go. When we were in marriage counseling….my ex-wife wanted some pills to help her through it…the therapist’s response? "No…..you need to feel what’s happening”. LOL She was very good at avoiding A LOT of things (she had another Dr. prescribe stuff anyway). I’ts ok …it was ALL beyond my control.

Can't we give ourselves one more chance
Why can't we give love that one more chance
Why can't we give love give love give love give love
give love give love give love give love give love

Bring it…..…bring your best. I hear a lot of folks talk about the other person when they’re breaking up. It’s NOT about the other person. Its about YOU. If it’s beyond your control….let it go. Trust me… you look a lot sexier without a bag of bones on your back. I can think of other things that would look good there! Hehe.
I can meet you. But I can’t walk through the snow AND bury your bones. I could. But I wont. And waiting till the snow melts? …..If you do...well…then ....my beauty its just………..water.

32 comments:

"Seattle" Heather said...

I just got done reading in the Seattle Times how you guys were getting blasted by snow! Stay warm, don't freeze out there walking around! Hopefully you can get out soon!

Gray said...

You are so right, we all tend to drag out the end of a relationship thinking somehow something will change. It never does. Just takes us time to admit defeat and be able to walk away.

Great luck with the christmas shopping!! :)

Just telling it like it is said...

Way to gut it out f1t!! Merry Christmas

Seneca said...

Dude. Seriously. I NEEDED this post after one heck of a weekend. You my friend are awesome. Thank you! :D

f1trey said...

@ Seattle- ready? I ve been walking to work...My car has been snowed in since friday!!!!!

@ Gray- LOL I think thats whole Nuther post! LOL

f1trey said...

@ Just- doin ma best! Just like I know you are! the results might not show it but.....hehehe

@ Seneca- I'm glad!! cool...I like it when someone gets ma stuff! Im sorry you had a bad weekend....spill it ..whats up?

honkeie2 said...

first time here but know all about the breaking up thing. Divorced once and married twice. my second time around is waaaayyyy better, good luck with everything

Miss Angie said...

I totally get it. Don't they say the definition of Idiocy is repeating the same action over and over and expecting different results?

The Invisible Seductress said...

.....sending hugs of warmth and a SpongeBob band-aid your way!!!!!!

Seneca said...

Well... I don't wanna put him on blast so I will e mail you my uhm issues I had this weekend if you care to know. :D thanks!

f1trey said...

@ Honke- Im glad! thats what some folks say! Its better the second time around!

@ Angie- LOL Yeah I just do NOT like repeatin maself!

@ Invisible- Ill take it!

@ Seneca- I like to think that I can help sort things out for some folks when they seem to be bangin their head.....so Im alwasy at the ready to lend an ear!

Shelly Rayedeane said...

I agree with you about relationships and holding on. However, I also know rebounds rarely work either.

I don't believe in one person moving out of one house and right into someone else's. Now I'm talking about dating. Lol.

I'm talking about using one person to get ahead and then jumping from person to person.

I guess what I'm saying is a person who can not stand alone knows nothing about love.

Same with jobs actually. I love how fit you are.

However, I sincerely doubt you look the way you do by letting someone else lift the weights and do the work for you. Lol.

Shelly Rayedeane said...

It should have read " I'm not talking about dating. "

Sorry. Lol.

Seneca said...

aww how sweet of you. Alright, I think it might help to get this off my chest. What is your e mail?

Shelly Rayedeane said...

Do you see the Washington District of Columbia on your side bar link?

That's me.

Someone is having fun spying on me again! lol.

f1trey said...

@ Shelly- all that sounds good! I think a common theme for me is "people seem pretty concerned with finding love but really dont do much to encourage it showing up"
Someone watching you eh? guys with not alot of confidence will track your movements"......

@ Seneca- good on you! let it out!

Martyr for Marriage said...

Hey, where did you go? I didn't mean for you to go. I meant that question in a curious way, not a don't follow me anymore way. Come back!

f1trey said...

@ Martyr- Hey! Gonna answer this.... :)

I follow someone because ( in large part).....they seem to have a similar interest (e.g.)....relationships, dating, gender or communication issues....

For my followers...I feel its important that unless they make it clear they are "just passing through" that I respond to their comments on my blog because 1) they deserve a response and 2) cultivating a relationship is a two way street and I like upholding my end of the bargain...

ok...so....after I follow someone and comment on their blog several times and notice that they 1) do not comment back on their blog 2) do not comment on my blog 3) do not follow me I.....

feel very justified that 1) they arent interested in my comments because they offer no feedback on their blog or mine....and there is little defense to demonstrate otherwise that is convincing.... :)

I value my followers because they take an interest on some level about what happens here and they deserve good attention because of their efforts.

Communication is a two way street (soooper genius here) when someone fails repeatedly to reciprocate I find I am the only one in the conversation.....
I consider that breaking a social contract and I stop following them.... does that make sense?

Shelly Rayedeane said...

You hit the nail on the head again Trey!

I told you you were chosen.

My blog is private now. I will send out links at the beginning of the new year.

As far as people who are insecure and spying on me goes....

Well, you've got that right too. If I wasn't powerful, I doubt my phones would have been tapped at my last place and I doubt two cell phones and two computers would have gotten hacked.

The funny thing is, I told the truth and even filed a report with the FBI. However, nobody helped me out when they should of.

Perhaps this time around they will do the right thing.

Otherwise, powerful little me will have no problem finishing the job they didn't do.

As far as love goes, I would love to be in love again one day.

However, I will never sleep with someone I don't want.

If you ask me, there is no God in that.

And unlike some people who spew hatred and are bigots and hypocrites, I realize what love is all about.

We might all be connected.

However, we are not all one.

This is the concept a truly enlightened soul understands.

And the rest are just idiots who stand in the way to prevent everyone else from seeing the true path.

Merry Christmas Trey.

f1trey said...

@ Shelly- Thanks darlin I appreciate that! :)

I 'm sorry to hear you got left hangin in the wind when you needed help.... I had a similar experience when I was getting divorced...and boy lemme tell ya that is one LONG story.. but the outcome was that ........becasue I didnt get the help I needed.... I decided to start a PI business to help others through the experience becuase I understood how rough it was!!! you have a good christmas too!!

Shelly Rayedeane said...

They won't be letting me down this time.

I have faith in that.

What business did you say you started again? I didn't understand what you just said.

f1trey said...

@ shelly- LOL sorry---PI .... private investigator......

so spent my tme helping others who had gotten the short end of the stick.....

tattytiara said...

Makes me think of a quote I heard about relationships. Something to the effect of how a successful partnership isn't two people facing each other, but two people facing the same direction together. Yeah, romance really only works when both people share the same ideas about what is romantic.

Gray said...

Happy Holidays Trey!!:)

Shelly Rayedeane said...

Happy Holidays Trey!

I can't find your email address. What is it? I will email you the link for my private blog.

Just telling it like it is said...

Merry Christmas!

Carolina Girl said...

Such good advice..."if it's beyond your control, let it go" We ladies have trouble with that sometimes, LOL. Love the snow pic, so pretty! Sure wish we had a (little) bit.

Barbarella said...

Liking that response to Martyr for Marriage Treyski :-) You da MAN. Festive Greetings to you.

f1trey said...

@ Tatty- yeah what a cool perspective! thank you! :)

@ Gray- Thanks darlin! to you too! Ive ben offline for a few days!

@ Shelly - will send it to you!

@ Just- XXX OOO !!! have a logistic holiday!

@ Carolina- Haha I dont think guys are much better!!!

@ Barb- LOL! Thanks ! its nice when someone understand me!!! Richard bransons team will do well next year!!!!

Julie said...

Good morning, just getting caught up on my blog reading. Happy Monday!

SKB said...

Some can walk away from their pile of bones, never look back, and never worry what trouble they might cause the next soul who trips over them later. Some study them a while, ponder their former usefulness and value, and know it's time to hang them in the back of the storage closet. Others want to roll around in the pile 'til they're pruney and bruised and never put them away, using them for self-flagellation instead.

I worry about the ones who walk away from them and I worry about the ones who wallow. If you're lucky, you ponder, appreciate the purpose served, understand they've become obsolete, and open your classroom for a better, more realistic model to be installed.

The New Year is lovely and I wish you every good thing in it, T. =X

SKB said...

P.S. The dance lessons and tandem bike are thoughtful and romantic, so the money wasn't wasted because it was the thought that mattered, even if she was too goofy to get it. Personally, I found a beautiful shell this weekend that looks a lot sexier on my back than a sacka bones ever did... the new year is berry, berry good. ;)