whatcha ona bout girl??

whatcha ona bout girl??
A retrospective on the inner workings of love, flying pancakes, mensa disasters, dandelion cookies, number bending, super salt, bubblegum oysters, chicken spit, crystal kidneys, guerilla carrots, polychromatic tofu, paraphysics, tender vigilanties, black sand, phillastine placebos, wood soup, buttered shuttlecocks, apostrophe training, fish whips, bleeding speed, plastic fantastic lobster telephones, venus drug rehab, clowns on fire, kiosks on a leash, marshmello overcoats, bottled light, fried blood, unbridled hyperthyroidism, folding wine, amygdula tickling, fainting in coils, hamburgers for the apocalypse, plastic memes, and conjugal fritters.....well...the love parts true

Monday, December 28, 2009

Romance, the stars, and the Zagnut effect

People give me flak for spending a lot of time at the gym. “Youre overtraining” “you need recovery time” “why are you here all the time?” hehehe …yeah dude. I admit it…… I work out pretty hard. One thing is for sure. I like results. One thing I do NOT like is NOT getting out what you put into something. That’s life I guess. Some things don’t always produce the results you want, even when you put in the effort. Ya know? School, work, kids, marriage…...I can see how romance gets trampled under the modern foot….Yeah dude…. All things being equal I can see how romance has the deck stacked against it…… So I like going to the gym because I know I will get out of it what goes in. I think its interesting that other people don’t see it this way. They see it as “overtraining”. I kinda see it as dedication and commitment. Now I can’t take credit here.

My love must be a kind of blind love
I can't see anyone but you.

I like that formula. Effort = Results. You can’t say that about everything. I have this ………program….. that works really well in the gym. I’m not OCD about it…but it definitely works…. So I stick with it.
There’s this one guy that comes to the gym all the time and he…..just doesn’t get it. He pushes…he pulls…he lifts….but he’s the same size he was 2 years ago pushing the SAME amount of weight he did 2 years ago. I really want to take him aside and explain what’s wrong with his program….because it pains me to see him put in the effort and get NO results.
The same thing happens when I diet. People always say “you cant do that!!” Really?.......watch me……3 weeks later I lose the weight and people still have the bad sense to say “You cant diet that way”…… Really? …I just did….. and the weights GONE…..what’s wrong with this picture???
I’ve always said… if you want to be smart….do what smart people do….if you want to be rich …do what rich people do…… if you want to be thin…… do what thin people do.
If you want to be in love…do what people in love do…..yeah dude Im a soooper genius. If your taking relationship advice from your girlfriends …who are on their third marriage….consider the source……please.
I want to clue you girls in on why guys aren’t that romantic. Ready????
No one showed them how. Echo..…echo…...echo.
The total amount of relationship advice a boy is given by his father is “turn the wrench to the right to make it tighten and left to loosen…got it? Rightey tighty lefty loosey….can you remember that son?
At no point in time during the football game does dad turn down the sound and say “son make sure you don’t yell at your wife”. Dad apparently yells at the redsocks… and when the mower blows up……so…...were told its ok to yell.
Girls are playing adult when they’re six years old. No wonder your’e ahead of us! Lemme say point blank now that this is where there is always some girl who comments “I didn’t do that”…….Bull…all you girls have played school, teacher, cooking or dolls at some point in time. You may be a tom boy, climb trees an all but you DID play grownup at ONE point in your childhood. I cant STAND it when someone says “not everyone did that” yes I understand your point… 0.2 % of the population REALLY hammers your point home. There goes my theory ….yep……right down the drain. Don’t know WHAT I was thinking ….girls and dolls….boy was I wrong. Chuh……..right. I call this the zagnut effect. At NO point in time has anyone EVER said “yeah…….while your in there …….get a me a zagnut” As soon as I proclaim this….50 people stand up and go “Oh man …..I LOVE zagnuts and I say that three times a week!” Bull $(%)^.
Where was I?.......Oh yeah…. Guys just don’t have much in the way of real world role models for romance. So we don’t really have much to go on. What’s worse I hear women say “he should know what I want” Wow…now THATS a recipe for communication success. Men are supposed to read your mind and know what you want. Women are better communicators? Im not so sure. Romance FAIL. I’m not too hip on the idea that my love life is tied to my ability to mind read. If so ..…I’m in trouble..…and so are you.

Are the stars out tonight?
I don't know if it's cloudy or bright
I Only Have Eyes For You, Dear.

Bring it………..bring something in your eyes. You can read all the romance novels, watch all the soap operas and new moons you want… but if you don’t help us with what turns you on …….we’re just going to continue getting poor marks in the romance department. I’m lucky. I get it. I like being a rock… and I like the feeling of making my woman feel safe and secure. Taking out the trash without being asked….. and not spending the extra cash on some more video games. Hehehe. But I had to figure that out on my own. I’m not complaining. It’s a great place to be. But think about it. Where is your man going to get a lesson in what romance is??…..…unless its from you.


Gray said...

That is true! With out communication, don't assume anyone is a mind reader! Speak up when you want something!:)

"Seattle" Heather said...

That's an awesome-post Trey! WOW I feel like I just got schooled. Love it.
You're so right. All of it...wowzers...

A Mom With A view said...

That was well said..all of it...the gym, the weight, the relationship...very good...like they say..."if you keep doin what you've always done, you'll keep gettin what you've always got"...but i like the way you said it better..

Kimberly said...

I never played a grown up when I was little...however, I try to be a kid now.

Diane said...

I'm happy to give lessons. Especially because 'romance' means different things to different people. I'll remember this the next time I meet someone I'd like to romance... or be romanced by... :)

Just telling it like it is said...

Balls to the wall is the only way I roll!!!

Seneca said...

Amen Trey, amen.

Shelly Rayedeane said...

Women hate you spending money on video games? Haaa!

What in the world is their problem? I say to hell with flowers!

Move over and let me play that video game. Lol.

f1trey said...

@ Gray- Cant agree more... I like to give little surprises but im afraid mind reading is beyond my ability!

@ Heather- I have never doubted it....youre a smart girl! XXX OOO rest up!

@ Mom- LOL I like how you said it better! cool!!!!

f1trey said...

@ Kimberly- cool! thats why I love you!

@ Diane- very true..... youre a real communicator! :) knock em dead!

@ Just- hahaha logistics guy is......fortunate! :)

f1trey said...

@ Seneca- hehe silly amen!

@ Shelly- hahaha thats cool...like diane said .....romance is different for every body!

The Invisible Seductress said...

....my dolls are mad at you now! Wink

honkeie2 said...

You are a god damn genius! You nailed that one right on the head. Give me the power to accept the things I can not change, words of wisdom we can never really swallow.

f1trey said...

@ Invisible- you seductress you! they wont stay mad long!!!! I hope!

@ honke - thanks dawg! I tried to follw your blog but cant find the follow button!

Martyr for Marriage said...

Hey, you know how I feel about romance. I wasn't asking why you were following my blog because I wanted you to stop. I actually was fishing for a compliment. I thought you would go on and on about how wonderful it was. Instead, you were just gone. I miss you.


Miss Angie said...

There should totally be classes for teenage boys - "How to woo and romance women." That'd be fun.

Hell, I need a class that is "How to be wood and romanced and not treat yourself like an easy hoe"


f1trey said...

@ Martyr- I understand. Its not the end of the world and I do like giving compliments! :) keep bloggin!

@ Angie- THAT is TOO funny!!!! I really got a kick out that!!!!

Amy said...

you are SO RIGHT here. Until I learned to just SAY WHAT I WANTED, i was constantly disappointed. Their fault? Nope, totally my own.

Right on, as usual

Hope you are having a fantastic holiday season.

Julie said...

Happy New Year, Trey!!!!

ViolentLove said...

Only you would have the word zagnut in a title... :D

I'm more of a zero girl.

All the best in 2010!

MaLou Silverman said...

You're so right. It took me loong years to figure I have to tell my man exactly what I like, want and need, and not rely on dropping hints :(

You should give semninars to the clueless ones. Happy, healthy and wealthy 2010 trey.

Just telling it like it is said...

Your such a romantic...

f1trey said...

@ Amy- thanks! hope you had a great new years!! I think Rileybug probably went to bed early!

@ Violent- hehehe I DO call it the zagnut effect! serious! all the best to you too!!!

f1trey said...

@ Malou- hehe If I gave seminars then all you girls would be gone!!!! hehehe

@ Just- Yeah, Kinda :) but dont let that fool ya! hehe