whatcha ona bout girl??

whatcha ona bout girl??
A retrospective on the inner workings of love, flying pancakes, mensa disasters, dandelion cookies, number bending, super salt, bubblegum oysters, chicken spit, crystal kidneys, guerilla carrots, polychromatic tofu, paraphysics, tender vigilanties, black sand, phillastine placebos, wood soup, buttered shuttlecocks, apostrophe training, fish whips, bleeding speed, plastic fantastic lobster telephones, venus drug rehab, clowns on fire, kiosks on a leash, marshmello overcoats, bottled light, fried blood, unbridled hyperthyroidism, folding wine, amygdula tickling, fainting in coils, hamburgers for the apocalypse, plastic memes, and conjugal fritters.....well...the love parts true

Monday, January 4, 2010

2010, a balloon, and the treadmill of love.


Ok dude, I deserve it. I’m……..gettin some laughs at the gym. Granted…….gym rats are NOT the brightest bunch but you try something unorthodox and ……..down comes the hammer. Your’e a target for months for thinking outside the box. Lemme say I DONT like thinking inside the box. That gets you.......divorced. People LOVE to bring you down if they can. Being a running back, EVERYONE on the defense wants to kill you anyway.
I was trying to think of some interesting ways to work my lower body. Since I DON’T have a girlfriend, I’ve been trying to work my lower body in ways that football players just ……….laugh at. Like………. Kicking a balloon around the gym with ankle weights. OK………so……..yeah I know it looks…….funny.
It won’t look so funny when football season hits.
It is the New Year and no…I don’t have any resolutions. Surprise surprise. Just a schedule Im going to keep in my training. The trick is ……..to keep varying the workout. Change it up. Try something different.
I hate running. HATE IT!!!! I don’t mind sprint drills (never said I was smart), but I cant stand the monotony of jogging on a treadmill….. for even just 20 minutes. Pa……..thetic. Now I can’t take credit here.

Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes
Just gonna have to be a different man

I heard a comedian the other day laughing about why relationships lose their romance. He said “all the tricks I use to get a woman in bed the first time I don’t need after a year…… cause she’s going to bed with me anyway.” Ok…..…so it was funny…….tragically accurate….…but funny.
I got to thinking about it and he does have a point. If you want your relationship to fail you might as well do what your friends are doing. Small sarcastic tone there……. But really there is something to that. Ever had a relationship that you thought was going along fine and all of the sudden you find out …....its over…... You thought things were going good and steady? Well.....maybe they were. Maybe that was the problem. I think it has something to do with repetition…… routine…….. Yes I AM a soooper genius.
Without a doubt everyone will agree that you have to mix things up to keep the relationship healthy. A show of hands isn’t necessary…I mean it’s a given that we all think so…right? So……...why doesn’t that happen? If the relationship is SO important you would think that BY NOW …..some of us would take heed. Myself included.
Lemme say I like learning something new…… I think its cool. Im just built that way. If stagnation is sure death for love then Im for mixing it up. Wow Trey…..thats brilliant. Well…..I think words and intentions don’t cut it. Just cause you “think” about mixing it up doesn’t mean it happens. Say what you mean, mean what you say. I DO try to mix it up. Romance is a learning process for guys. Some learn……..others….well……..don’t. If your man can’t figure out that you NEED romance outside the bedroom….. you might be hangin around for a handout that never comes. ON THE OTHER HAND. A woman who does the same thing over and over in the bedroom will eventually find her man is only in it …..for two minutes…..and he wont stay there long. Eventually he will find another bed. Relationship FAIL. Don’t blame him for doing the same thing over and over….. if YOUR doing the same thing over and over. I hear women jump all over guys……. that they can’t stay faithful. If the room is dull I either change it…..or change rooms. There is SOME reasoning behind that I think.
But this is a two way street. I can’t point fingers unless I have a mirror in the other hand. Throwin rocks in a glass house is NOT the best idea. So if I’m preachin, I better be listenin too.

Time may change me
But I can't trace time

Bring it…..….bring something new. Yeah it’s a new year. So its time for a change. You never hear a man say he wants to be romanced. Only women read romance novels….but that too is a problem. Men don’t read that stuff. And I think women set themselves up for disappointment when they think that a man is supposed to BRING them romance and a woman’s responsibility is just to receive it. POOF!!.......ready made…..but really….what ROMANTIC things do YOU actually do? What? Clean the house? Wash his undies? Vacuum? I really appreciate it when those things happen…..I say so…..and I pitch in too….but Im not so sure men equate sweeping with love. Ask your man which hed rather have. I doubt he would choose sweeping. Just like men wrongfully equate bringing home a paycheck as love. It’s not. One thing is for sure. You do it …like you did before and you just might NOT get it …….again…… Here’s to 2010 !!

18 comments:

Seneca said...

Good Post Trey! (Duh.) Romance isn't as tricky or complicated as people make it out to be. Just go with your heart, be spontaneous!! Huge turn off though, when guys say "I think I am a pretty romantic guy..." Ick.

Shelly Rayedeane said...

I love the point of this post Trey. I don't think inside the box either. People who think inside the box have closed minds.

I think you hit the nail right on the head when you stated men are the only ones who need to show romance. I think there are a lot of women who expect men to do everything for them instead of standing on their own two feet.

Also, the reason most relationships fail is because the romance does not stay mutual and the balance scale shifts. For instance, you go out with a woman and pay for dinner but she never takes you out and pays for your dinner. Please forgive me. I don't think the way most people do. If a man continues to pay for everything, and a woman gives him sex every time he buys her something, what then becomes of any relationship?

Appreciation is a two way street. I hate it when women say bullshit like how they are used for sex when they don't pay any bills. Lol.

I'm a very independent person and only work well in relationships with people who think the same way. I do not give just to receive, but I'm not a doormat either.

One of my friends made the best analogy once. She said passion ceases to exist the minute one person knows the other person would never leave them. I would say I have to agree. Once the hunted is caught, what happens to the other hunters?

The key in having passion is in making the one you love realize the other hunters are still out there.

Amy said...

I'm sending this link to every man I know.

Seriously great insight!

Just telling it like it is said...

You go brother!!!

SKB said...

I cry BULLSHIT, my Love!! It's not definable or black and white and there IS comfort in "routine" and there IS longevity in comfort - though if you START stagnant, kiss it gone!! Presumably, the chemisty is good to begin with, you think outside that box, and you both keep it "new". But after you get comfortable, if she/he is dissatisfied w/ "status quo", TALK together, get off your collective asses and get the dance lessons & tandem bikes that've hopefully been popping up all along and rev it back up! I agree w/ the general idea that you GIVE nice, you GET nice!! And in the end, some are ok w/ comfortable, familiar love... some need 100% porn love... hopefully you find someone you've got that wonderful "bendy" balance with and you mold it and shape it and take enough of an interest in each other in that it KEEPS a happy balance. If NOT, then recognize that love is TOTAL work, you need "challenge" to stay engaged, get help, decide if YOU are committed, and start all over again... and remember that in the end, comfortable love is usually what the "old timers" are left with. XOXO

"Seattle" Heather said...

hmm mixed comments from the peanut gallery this time Trey. Hmmm
Not sure what to say myself. You have to give to receive. Bottom line. I think you should be a Male Counselor for all Men. Kind of like that movie Hitch. Instead of what ever you do; or that P.I. Stuff. I think us ladies would appreciate that. :)

The Invisible Seductress said...

Will never think "inside" the box again. I did that for far too long! Does that mean I will never get married again? ...SIGH...OK then I'm alright with that! Relationships fail because we sell ourselves OUT -and- SHORT! And some of the time it's a good thing they do, you realize later - you weren't happy either - now you have a chance to eat Circus Peanuts whenever you want (OK, so that's a BAD analogy - it's early and it's cold - please act like it made sense, thanks!)
Another great post Trey!! You big hot balloon kicking stud you!!!!

f1trey said...

@ Seneca- hahaha Yeah I can see that....I think that happens with younger guys...trying to display their peacock feathers!!!!!

@ Shelly- so well thought out! :) I think its interesting that so much of romance revolves around understanding your partner...but its easy to be more concerned with your self...that puts things at odds....

@ Amy- hehehe givin away ma secrets!!! thank you!!

f1trey said...

@ SKB- LOL step a way from the coffee! thanks for the response ...a black is good for the army!!! hehehe ok...gonna say that I understand what you mean.
I think comfort is a different thing than stagnation and I know you will agree. I think most guys are kind of challenged on the ins and outs of how to make a relationship successful. Comfort kind of goes hand in hand with security....and yeah you build that over time...Im a genius! LOL
But bottom line...i think there are many marriages and long term relationships that "feel" comfortable...but lack the some of the things that make the participants happy and satisfied. does that make sense? Ive been in comfortable relationships that put me to sleep......

@ Heather- :) sweet....Im not givin your boyfriend ANY tips!!!

@ Invisible- Ocala Huh? hehehe ya silly! XXX OOO lets split a bag!

"Seattle" Heather said...

Why not Trey? Afraid of the competition? :) teehee

Diane said...

I always say, you get what you give in this life. It doesn't always work that way (especially in boy/girl relationships) but think more often than not, it does. So I give what I want. 'Nuff said.

SKB said...

Yes, Dear, I agree comfort is a different thing than stagnation and most guys are kind of challenged on the ins and outs of how to make a relationship successful... so are most gals. I guess all I'm trying to say is too many confuse comfort with stagnation and just throw hands in air and walk away muttering how irretrievably broken things are rather than putting in that outside the box thinking you mention. I, for one, want to be comfortable, secure, AND still think outside. So yes, what you said about that makes sense. =)And also. I don't want to be lulled into dreamland either, unless that's part of the box. ;)

Love, Evolution, and Resilience said...

Awesome post! I have so missed reading yoU!

f1trey said...

@ Heather- HEATHER!!

@ Diane- Hehe what?

@ SKB- you mean ...you agree with me?? OMG...I dont feel so good! LOL thanks darlin!! you should be bloggin yourself!

@ Love- been wonderin if you were ok!! glad youre back!

Kimberly said...

Things are 'uh changing 'round here. New year, new attitude....look out 2010 - here we come!

"Seattle" Heather said...

LMAO!!!!!

lifechick said...

comfort equals security
stagnation equals laziness

It's important to feel comfortable in your own skin with your partner, but not to use that as an excuse not to put effort into keeping the relationship fresh. If you ARE comfortable with someone, that should give you the freedom to want to try new things with them, and think up ways to surprise them. Knowing that whatever your effort is, they will feel appreciated that you made it.

PS Happy New Year Trey!

Linda Medrano said...

Interesting. I think romance happens with the everyday stuff. Somebody covering you with a blanket if you take a nap watching the ballgame. Someone winking at you to let you know that you share a private joke. A hand squeeze. The bedroom is only one place for romance.