whatcha ona bout girl??

whatcha ona bout girl??
A retrospective on the inner workings of love, flying pancakes, mensa disasters, dandelion cookies, number bending, super salt, bubblegum oysters, chicken spit, crystal kidneys, guerilla carrots, polychromatic tofu, paraphysics, tender vigilanties, black sand, phillastine placebos, wood soup, buttered shuttlecocks, apostrophe training, fish whips, bleeding speed, plastic fantastic lobster telephones, venus drug rehab, clowns on fire, kiosks on a leash, marshmello overcoats, bottled light, fried blood, unbridled hyperthyroidism, folding wine, amygdula tickling, fainting in coils, hamburgers for the apocalypse, plastic memes, and conjugal fritters.....well...the love parts true

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

High infidelity, Wool, and Revenge sex


You know me dude……. I always say reality trumps all. Yeah dude…I know…..thats a kill joy. My bloggy girls are NOT going to like this. But l also say truth is best. Of course I say that…….. but am not always able to deliver.
I do like noticing differences between men and women. ….big smile….. nothing is better for communication than for me to listen or a mile in my partners shoes……I get JACKED when it comes……..when I say… “I get you”…….man that’s a good feeling. Now I can’t take credit here.

As soon as you are able
Woman I am willing
To make the break that we
Are on the brink of
My cup is on the table
Our love is spilling
Waiting here for you to
Take and drink of

High infidelity indeed…….
I was reading this weekend about what leads men to stray and why women have “revenge sex”. Men are apparently forgiving of other men for issues of infidelity. Women it seems aren’t forgiving of other women who step over the line. The article didn’t really paint a good picture of things. Women tend to protect a relationship if it starts to go sour and men…….look for opportunities. I think women look at consequences….men look at the consequences of getting caught. I’m putting that nicely. The article went on to tell guys what they could do to be MORE faithful. ….It had ……completely useless suggestions….like….dont do it……be closer to your spouse……think of what your giving up….dont do it…..dont be tempted…..and………don’t do it. Fab…u….lous. Chuh…..right. Advice?....FAIL. I'm a serial monogamist. My own fidelity I dont worry about. Catching my love is much more of a task.
Women I think idealize a relationship and men tend to be more reality based. Like I say reality trumps all. I don’t hear many men say things like “you should like what you do……….theres somebody for everyone…….everything happens for a reason”. In a man’s vocabulary, day to day, these concepts just don’t enter into why the cars busted or how were going to fix the sink.
The movie AVATAR works because it moves back and forth from reality to ...fantasy....you have to have BOTH to make the story work. Fantasy alone wont cut it. Yes..I am sooooper genius. I can see WHY women “hope” for things. But men don’t “hope”……..we are NOT on the same page here. It will be or it won’t be. Hope changes nothing. See…I KNEW you weren’t going to like this. But that’s how we think. We don’t think about how the world “should” be. Ok ..little play on words there…we don’t really think at all.
Now as cold as all this sounds it makes more sense to a man to think this way than to…….have a distorted body image. To watch a soap opera like it was real life. To think things are good even when its obvious……they suck. Speakin ma ugly piece here. Men may very well need to “grow up” but which of us is living in a fantasy?.....(ahm gonna get slapped for that)…..
Peace…. I don’t mean for that to condemn..…hopefully it will spawn some introspection. Think about it. The same “hope” you sprinkle to keep your spirits up….prevents you from seeing that he’s……… a cheater….a drug addict….a liar. .I know I don’t like it when the wool gets pulled over my eyes…..but I only compound the problem if I refuse to see the wool at all. Ya know?...seein its one thing…DOING something about it is another. Personally I like you in something that makes you feel beautiful when I put my fingers in your mouth and your hips tighten with just the right amount of constant pressure…and….. your breathing …you have …..to ….hold while it moves through you in waves…..…..wool just doesn’t work here.

So if you're tired of the
Same old story
Turn some pages
I'll be here when you are ready
To roll with the changes

Bring it………..bring some reality. Which do you think will serve you better? HOPING she’ll leave her current boyfriend or……The harsh reality that……she’s taken.
If you want to understand a man you have to think a bit like one. Sorry.
There have been times in my past that I just did not WANT to see the wool….and I suffered for that….. Nowadays….. I see a bit more clearly and it’s no longer a shame to let something go because my partner was too selfish, or too conceited to fix a mistake. Reality? Check……

22 comments:

Seneca said...

This post confirms it. I think like a man. I never chanted with the other girls "boys are stuuupid" on the playground. I saw what little drama boys had in their lives. I wanted that, so I decided to think like them. Not do like them, just think like them. Women too often overcomplicate, speculate, and give a lot of hype to situations that can be simple.

Gray said...

Reality is sometimes too much for people to deal with. Though it makes life a lot more cut and dry when you can. :)

Diane said...

What if you see the reality but hope it can get better? What does that make you? Ah, never mind. I know. I did that. For a little while. Then I realized reality had trumped the hope. And then? There was no hope left. Life. Meh. Moving on...

PS... that whole grocery store check-out line kissing thing? Nice ;)

Kimberly said...

I never think like a man because I am not one. Hope is a strong word - maybe a strong rope is a better term. I can tolerate alot but the wool has never been pulled over my eyes because it itches.

The Invisible Seductress said...

Ya got a little heated there 75% down huh?? Smiling----But once again----dead on!!! You never cease to amaze me----can we bottle us up some "Treywisdom" juice and all live happily ever after????

f1trey said...

@ Seneca- LOL I DO hear that from girls sometimes! Id still rather think yall are made of sugar and spice and everything nice!

@ Gray- ding! ding! ding! yes baby! you got it!! biiiig smile!

@ Diane- Yeah I can visualize that now...and boy it would have been great!

@ Kimberly- catch me and let me know how things are goin!!!!

@ Invisible- little blush....... thats sweet! IM not sure who'd buy it....we could make it a gift set with........"i like your sparkles" mix.....ya know? put em together and its a taste festival! OMG i cant believe i just said that....

Miss Angie said...

I agree, fantasy is nice, but it's just that. You can't live your with your head in a fantasy world when the rest of the world is revolving around you in reality. It just doesn't work out, and you end up losing yourself further by the time you wake up and face the real world.

Spoken well, what is that song?

f1trey said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
f1trey said...

@ Angie- oops made a typo on my last post...... its reo speedwagon ..roll with the changes from the album high infidelity...ahh the memories!

Linda Medrano said...

I love this because it's honest and refreshing! I'm always hearing women friends tell me "he said he's not ready, but what he means is..." Naw, Sweetheart! Men are literal. Listen to him. He is telling you something true.

Rach said...

Hmmmm... well Trey, some men do live in denial and claim everything is good when it's obvious that their life sucks. Maybe that's not the norm though. It's nice after you do figure out that you don't have to go around with 'the wool' over your eyes. Recycle it. Reuse it for something good, like yarn for a sweater. I am hopeful though. Optimism is something you can have whether things turn out great or not. Reality is ok, but looking at the world through Eyore's eyes is baaaaaad.

tattytiara said...

There's an equal and opposite for everything. Men and women are different, but heads and tails are both part of the same coin.

f1trey said...

@ Linda- Welcome! I do love your blog!
Thats interesting I never thought about that but it makes sense! you girls must have some selective hearing like guys do!

@ Rach- hehehe cool.... Amazing how you can change direction after years of runnning in the opposite direction!

@ Tatty- I do like the idea of complementing each other... I think thats a cool way to see a relationship!

Dutch donut girl said...

Well, I don't live in a fantasy world. I grew out of it when I was 7 years old. All women are not the same.

f1trey said...

@ Dutch- yes maam you are right as rain...... I make blanket statements sometimes...... youre in criminology so I know youre usin ya brain! :)

Ca88andra said...

I guess if men thought like women and women thought like men, it would be a fairly uninteresting world. Maybe we should all just "do unto others as we would like to be done to"?

f1trey said...

@ CA88- Yeah thats true..good point! :) LOL i serioiusly doubt men will ever think like women and women wont think like men..its precisely that divide that keeps us from understanding each other! Im just hoping to be a little bridge!

Christiejolu said...

Great advice! Thanks!

Eternally Distracted said...

I am definitely on the 'man's side of the fence'!! ;0)

Just telling it like it is said...

Yeap I think you are totally right...Men do what you let them get away with...You either have to chose a man that loves you more (not my choice) or expect that along the way he may stray (which no matter how much sex and love you give him it happened to me...I guess I loved him more)...but he never does want to leave you totally...(he still tries and contact me from time to time)!
I will never figure out the war of the roses all I know is that I can't lie to my heart...logistic guy gets to be with me because the chemistry is there would he cheat probably if he had the chance I don't lie to myself about that, but I don't obsess either...men will do what they will do and when they do wrong women hold on...because they will do it again if given the chance...The mere act of sex never hurt me...I new that it is different with everyone and I know that he was hurt by me...as I by him and then who wins...Nobody

SKB said...

I see reality and have hope it will get better, and I like to have that hope and think like a woman... until after you kick me in the gut and I know it won't be better - then I think like a man and I'm done. I don't know if I'd want to change that though. Interesting post, rock man.

f1trey said...

@ CJ- Ima tryin!

@ Eternally- no worries! I am too.....

@ Just - Preach it darlin- YOu KNOW you got a good thing! :)

@ SKB- Theres a lot to be said for charlotte...... oh wait.... you were chaperoning...... :) just take the dog for a walk....wait..... thats not going to work either....