Tuesday, January 26, 2010
High infidelity, Wool, and Revenge sex
You know me dude……. I always say reality trumps all. Yeah dude…I know…..thats a kill joy. My bloggy girls are NOT going to like this. But l also say truth is best. Of course I say that…….. but am not always able to deliver.
I do like noticing differences between men and women. ….big smile….. nothing is better for communication than for me to listen or a mile in my partners shoes……I get JACKED when it comes……..when I say… “I get you”…….man that’s a good feeling. Now I can’t take credit here.
As soon as you are able
Woman I am willing
To make the break that we
Are on the brink of
My cup is on the table
Our love is spilling
Waiting here for you to
Take and drink of
High infidelity indeed…….
I was reading this weekend about what leads men to stray and why women have “revenge sex”. Men are apparently forgiving of other men for issues of infidelity. Women it seems aren’t forgiving of other women who step over the line. The article didn’t really paint a good picture of things. Women tend to protect a relationship if it starts to go sour and men…….look for opportunities. I think women look at consequences….men look at the consequences of getting caught. I’m putting that nicely. The article went on to tell guys what they could do to be MORE faithful. ….It had ……completely useless suggestions….like….dont do it……be closer to your spouse……think of what your giving up….dont do it…..dont be tempted…..and………don’t do it. Fab…u….lous. Chuh…..right. Advice?....FAIL. I'm a serial monogamist. My own fidelity I dont worry about. Catching my love is much more of a task.
Women I think idealize a relationship and men tend to be more reality based. Like I say reality trumps all. I don’t hear many men say things like “you should like what you do……….theres somebody for everyone…….everything happens for a reason”. In a man’s vocabulary, day to day, these concepts just don’t enter into why the cars busted or how were going to fix the sink.
The movie AVATAR works because it moves back and forth from reality to ...fantasy....you have to have BOTH to make the story work. Fantasy alone wont cut it. Yes..I am sooooper genius. I can see WHY women “hope” for things. But men don’t “hope”……..we are NOT on the same page here. It will be or it won’t be. Hope changes nothing. See…I KNEW you weren’t going to like this. But that’s how we think. We don’t think about how the world “should” be. Ok ..little play on words there…we don’t really think at all.
Now as cold as all this sounds it makes more sense to a man to think this way than to…….have a distorted body image. To watch a soap opera like it was real life. To think things are good even when its obvious……they suck. Speakin ma ugly piece here. Men may very well need to “grow up” but which of us is living in a fantasy?.....(ahm gonna get slapped for that)…..
Peace…. I don’t mean for that to condemn..…hopefully it will spawn some introspection. Think about it. The same “hope” you sprinkle to keep your spirits up….prevents you from seeing that he’s……… a cheater….a drug addict….a liar. .I know I don’t like it when the wool gets pulled over my eyes…..but I only compound the problem if I refuse to see the wool at all. Ya know?...seein its one thing…DOING something about it is another. Personally I like you in something that makes you feel beautiful when I put my fingers in your mouth and your hips tighten with just the right amount of constant pressure…and….. your breathing …you have …..to ….hold while it moves through you in waves…..…..wool just doesn’t work here.
So if you're tired of the
Same old story
Turn some pages
I'll be here when you are ready
To roll with the changes
Bring it………..bring some reality. Which do you think will serve you better? HOPING she’ll leave her current boyfriend or……The harsh reality that……she’s taken.
If you want to understand a man you have to think a bit like one. Sorry.
There have been times in my past that I just did not WANT to see the wool….and I suffered for that….. Nowadays….. I see a bit more clearly and it’s no longer a shame to let something go because my partner was too selfish, or too conceited to fix a mistake. Reality? Check……