High infidelity, Wool, and Revenge sex

You know me dude……. I always say reality trumps all. Yeah dude…I know…..thats a kill joy. My bloggy girls are NOT going to like this. But l also say truth is best. Of course I say that…….. but am not always able to deliver.
I do like noticing differences between men and women. ….big smile….. nothing is better for communication than for me to listen or a mile in my partners shoes……I get JACKED when it comes……..when I say… “I get you”…….man that’s a good feeling. Now I can’t take credit here.

As soon as you are able
Woman I am willing
To make the break that we
Are on the brink of
My cup is on the table
Our love is spilling
Waiting here for you to
Take and drink of

High infidelity indeed…….
I was reading this weekend about what leads men to stray and why women have “revenge sex”. Men are apparently forgiving of other men for issues of infidelity. Women it seems aren’t forgiving of other women who step over the line. The article didn’t really paint a good picture of things. Women tend to protect a relationship if it starts to go sour and men…….look for opportunities. I think women look at consequences….men look at the consequences of getting caught. I’m putting that nicely. The article went on to tell guys what they could do to be MORE faithful. ….It had ……completely useless suggestions….like….dont do it……be closer to your spouse……think of what your giving up….dont do it…..dont be tempted…..and………don’t do it. Fab…u….lous. Chuh…..right. Advice?....FAIL. I'm a serial monogamist. My own fidelity I dont worry about. Catching my love is much more of a task.
Women I think idealize a relationship and men tend to be more reality based. Like I say reality trumps all. I don’t hear many men say things like “you should like what you do……….theres somebody for everyone…….everything happens for a reason”. In a man’s vocabulary, day to day, these concepts just don’t enter into why the cars busted or how were going to fix the sink.
The movie AVATAR works because it moves back and forth from reality to ...fantasy....you have to have BOTH to make the story work. Fantasy alone wont cut it. Yes..I am sooooper genius. I can see WHY women “hope” for things. But men don’t “hope”……..we are NOT on the same page here. It will be or it won’t be. Hope changes nothing. See…I KNEW you weren’t going to like this. But that’s how we think. We don’t think about how the world “should” be. Ok ..little play on words there…we don’t really think at all.
Now as cold as all this sounds it makes more sense to a man to think this way than to…….have a distorted body image. To watch a soap opera like it was real life. To think things are good even when its obvious……they suck. Speakin ma ugly piece here. Men may very well need to “grow up” but which of us is living in a fantasy?.....(ahm gonna get slapped for that)…..
Peace…. I don’t mean for that to condemn..…hopefully it will spawn some introspection. Think about it. The same “hope” you sprinkle to keep your spirits up….prevents you from seeing that he’s……… a cheater….a drug addict….a liar. .I know I don’t like it when the wool gets pulled over my eyes…..but I only compound the problem if I refuse to see the wool at all. Ya know?...seein its one thing…DOING something about it is another. Personally I like you in something that makes you feel beautiful when I put my fingers in your mouth and your hips tighten with just the right amount of constant pressure…and….. your breathing …you have …..to ….hold while it moves through you in waves…..…..wool just doesn’t work here.

So if you're tired of the
Same old story
Turn some pages
I'll be here when you are ready
To roll with the changes

Bring it………..bring some reality. Which do you think will serve you better? HOPING she’ll leave her current boyfriend or……The harsh reality that……she’s taken.
If you want to understand a man you have to think a bit like one. Sorry.
There have been times in my past that I just did not WANT to see the wool….and I suffered for that….. Nowadays….. I see a bit more clearly and it’s no longer a shame to let something go because my partner was too selfish, or too conceited to fix a mistake. Reality? Check……

A nice guy, The missed signal, and cupids arrow

Booyaaa!!!! Yeah dude my buddy just got it!! Been fightin an uphill battle with a friend of mine who has been dancing at the whim of a fishing girl. She fishes …….she dangles ……and he……..pants and jumps up and down. She……..tells him no….and calls back a few weeks later…….and it starts all over again. “what can I do to get her back?” he asks at least 3 times a week.
“Dude……… she sent you several emails saying she wasn’t interested. What part of that do you NOT get?”
“But she said I was a nice guy!!!”
“AND….whats your point? You ARE a nice guy…..but you still DON’T get it”. Now I can’t take credit here.

Don't take your love away from me
Don't you leave my heart in misery
If you go then I'll be blue
'Cause breaking up his hard to do

I have another friend with the same problem. Shes…….backpeddling out of the relationship and her man……..doesn’t get it. Women seem to have a completely different philosophy when it comes to the “how to’s “ of breaking up. (don’t hit me here….I make blanket statements from time to time….generalizations don’t ALWAYS apply…….I hear ya!). I have another friend I am SOOOPER proud of. She ended the relationship by saying
“Nothing you say or do will change my mind. I want a divorce.” He wasn’t listening. “how about counseling?”
“Nothing you say or do will change my mind. I want a divorce.”
“What if we spent some time apart?”
“Nothing you say or do will change my mind. I want a divorce.”
He got it. No ambiguity there. Message?......... PASS!
This is a picture of the gym I work out at. It’s beyond Spartan. There’s another place in town…..but I don’t even consider it. I like where I am. Not even going to consider switching. Breakin ma workout up is NOT an option. I’m not listening to the enticements of a cleaner, nicer facility.
Men have selective hearing. I hear women say that a lot. Not going to argue. I think your’e right!!!. We hear what we want. I can’t say this is a good thing. I have to work on that myself. I admit it. My personal history is overfraught with………”how did I miss that?”
There is a dynamic here that I think women overlook when they’re trying to break up. They mean well but they…… give mixed signals. Conflicting even…..hey …we’re guys…….were easily confused.
In an effort to “make it painless” women backpeddle…….very slowly saying touchy feely things interlaced with the REAL message. Saying “

You’re a nice guy
you will find someone
I’m not ready
Im going out with the girls”

And then…… for added effect….you shut down…..hoping he’ll “get the hint”.
He wont. Know why? You never said……… “its over”. Instead you have a ten minute discussion about how things aren’t working. In your mind you’re saying.

No
No
No
Youre a nice guy
No
No
No.

Guess what he hears..…..go ahead …….guess. Ready?

“Im a nice guy”. WOW I have a chance!!
Yeah we have selective hearing. But if the message is buried……hidden under sweet words designed to let him down easy and full of low level compliments…….why WOULD he get it? Breakup..…..FAIL.

They say that breaking up is hard to do
Now I know, I know that it's true
Don't say that this is the end
Instead of breaking up I wish that we were making up again

Bring it…………..bring the gods of communication. Hehehe Say what you mean….mean what you say. Im sure THAT makes sense. I just am NOT good at reading tween the lines. I thought that was just……...space. When you’re in love you really want to be understood. Don’t you? I mean……you want to KNOW he cares and loves you too……with zero distortion …..No? You don’t want him to guess whether you love him…..do you? Would you want to have to guess at whether he loves you or not? I want that message…….crystal. When I look in your eyes I want to feel your heart. The message…..I love you doesn’t come with kindas or maybes. What good is that? Cupids arrow hits me in the heart. If you’re trying to break up with me…a shot in the leg wont do it…...you better aim for my heart again.

Tunnel light, the journal, and the death of a dream

Got a couple of married friends……..for now. They’re …….trying to find a way out. Yeah dude. Death of a dream. The honeymoon is over. Both girls have suffered about 20 years of unhappy marriages. That conditions folks….ya know? My 10 year ………festival of pain was………different than these girls. One girl is wearing the pants in the family. The other girl is smothered. Ya know the type? Take a second. I want those to sink in.
When you ask someone what went wrong……you get a host of different answers. “He cheated. He was hooked on pain killers. He drank all the time. He cheated. He was addicted to porn. He was too controlling. He cheated.”
I should have known my ex and I weren’t compatible …....during our first date. Ready?.......my first missed signal was……she cheated on her boyfriend to go out with me. Yeah……I was NOT paying attention. It was TOTALLY my fault. Not hers. Hehehe. Ready again? She…..fell asleep that first date…….during ……Silence of the lambs. Yeah dude….seriously. I .……either laugh then cry or cry then laugh about it. I sure can pick em!!!! Common sense? FAIL.
I have to insert a bit of trivia here or it will be forgotten forever...... I actually called off our first date......but she never got the message I sent in time and so she showed up. Either way its all good. Gotta bit of seasoning now. So Im OK dude. With all this in mind I run into very few folks that say “boy I sure wish we’d have worked that out”. Now I can’t take credit here.

Somethin' happened along the way
What used to be happy was sad
Somethin' happened along the way
And yesterday was all we had

I have to say I like seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. For me the process of recovering from marriage was easier than my two friends who have a LONG road ahead. That dark tunnel is much longer for one of the two. When you try to point them in the direction of the exit where there’s light …..you get all this….. resistance. Its understandable. You live under the lash of a whip for too long and………. All sorts of things make the way out impossible to get to. A road map in the dark is NO help......and there is .......only the deep pain that comes from being trapped. A locked cage doesn’t offer much in the way of exit signs for someone who’s been beaten down for 20 years. What you find is someone who CANT make decisions…WONT make decisions….or doesn’t EVEN know they can make a decision. So….round and round it goes.
I like lending an ear. I get a lot out of listening more so than talking. When I was getting divorced it was hard to find a sounding board that didn’t come with hollow advice. So I took to making a diary of my thoughts. A kind of journal….. that allowed me to get things off my chest and clear my head. Pen and paper therapy really helped me free up my heart and soul. Its easy to have unresolved issues when theres a break up….. Yes I AM a soooper genius! So I try to tell folks to write down whats going on………I think it helps to detangle a process that for many is chaotic and directionless.
I have to put this in here. Now that the marriage has been over for several years…. Im still having some bad luck! Please don’t take offense if you have any sort of disability…ok? My neighbor is about 35. He’s on welfare… no job……130 lbs…..and has one arm……He also has a 19 year old girlfriend. I MUST be doin sumpin wrong. Oh well….good on him…. Ill just have to stay in the self service isle for now.


And oh, after the love has gone
How could you lead me on
And not let me stay around
Oh, oh, oh, after the love has gone
What used to be right is wrong
Can love that's lost be found?

Bring it……….bring some light…..If your having a hard time seeing you can borrow mine. I like sharing light. It makes me smile. I know you’d do the same for me. There’s light at the end of the tunnel. ……. See ya outside.

Barb wire, the ghost, and a crash and burn

Yeah dude. Some things just do NOT go as planned. Think about it. Education, raising kids, career, health, marriage (LOL)……..the nearly second marriage (hehe) Ida done it again. What you expect isn’t what you get. Yeah I’m a sooooper genius. …. Were the same. You and me. I’ve put my best foot forward….…and fallen flat on ma face. Well……. no ones perfect. Every once in a while something does come along. And it FEELS…………. perfect. Thats why 8th grade love has a real hold over me. Just ONCE it would be nice to not crash AND burn. Cuz nuthin else seems to go as planned. Even this post……. I couldn’t seem to pick and choose what parts of this song to leave out…… ..because its exactly the way I feel. Its perfect just as it is. Now I can’t take credit here.

There's a letter on the desktop
that i dug out of a drawer
the last truce we ever came to
in our adolescent war
and i start to feel the fever
from the warm air through the screen
you come regular like seasons
shadowing my dreams
and the mississippi's mighty
but it starts in minnesota
at a place that you could walk across
with five steps down
and I guess that's how you started
like a pinprick to my heart
but at this point you rush right through me
and i start to drown
and there's not enough room
in this world for my pain
signals cross and love gets lost
and time passed makes it plain
of all my demon spirits
i need you the most
i'm in love with your ghost
i'm in love with your ghost

It was 10th grade and I had just gotten my license. Oh yeah dude…time to IMPRESS all the lovely L A D I E S…………My first date with Brenda was…….my last date with Brenda…. y…….eah….. It didnt go as planned. Not….AT all dude. I kinda ……..talked my way into it.. She wasn’t real interested. But I don’t back away from a challenge easily. I’m dancing, Im singin, I’m telling jokes, I’m ……….making a fool out of myself. It’s like a bad vaudeville carnival act on espresso……and a five hour energy just to make sure I maximize being retarded. I just could NOT act normal around her.
Where was I?
Oh yeah…… so…. she agrees to a date and I plan on continuing my barrage of bad timing and juvenile jokes to the sound of crickets crying…….
But this time I have…..the FIAT. Oh yeah dude… what girl can resist the top down red Italian convertible? I spent about 3 hours polishing and vacuuming every square inch.
I cant lose……..or so I thought.
I tortured her for about 3 hours. Exhausted, I had tried every stupid trick in the book and in the end I was racing to get her back home …….just to end it. I HAVE GOT to get this OVER with!!! Mayday! Mayday! I’m going DOWN!! CAN YOU SEE THESE FLAMES? GOD ITS HOT IN HERE!!!! IS ANYBODY WATCHING THIS? OH….GOD….…. MAYBE I CAN CHANGE MY NAME…… MOVE OUT OF STATE….IS THIS HOW PRISONERS OF WAR FEEL?? …..OH PLEASE MY SWEET LORD…IM BEGGING YOU…...HELP ME!!!!!……JESUS WAS ONLY ON THE CROSS FOR THREE DAYS….THIS IS GOING TO LAST …FOR…….EVER!!!!
So I get her home and the awkwardness is almost over. I keep the car running and put it in reverse while she gets out. She waves goodbye and I gun it…………miss the driveway COMPLETELY…… going backwards….. over the hill……. out of site…… and crash into a barbwire fence.
Per…..…..fect.
I turn the stereo off….
And sit there…..
“ARE YOU OK????”
“yeah…...I’m…..….. fine……I……….how bout you?”
She comes running down the hill.
“are you sure?”
“I’m…..…fine……thank you.”
“I don’t think you’re going to be able to get out of here without driving along the fence.”
“I’m…..yeah”. I was looking straight ahead……. a blank stare……the car…pinned up against the fence. She was talking….
“ifna s upa foo tay kooble pooma fee..........pooma fee??”…but I just wasn’t listening. I started the car up…….put it into gear and……
The sound of raking finger nails down a chalkboard was deafening….. the barb wire SCREAMED……taking all the paint off the side of the car as I went…… finally……I made it up to the road………and I……. just kept going.
Yeah dude …..date……FAIL.
That did not go as planned. Crash AND burn.


dark and dangerous like a secret
that gets whispered in a hush
(don't tell a soul)
when i wake the things i dreamt about you
last night make me blush
(don't tell a soul)
and you kiss me like a lover
then you sting me like a viper
i go follow to the river
play your memory like a piper
and i feel it like a sickness
how this love is killing me
i'd walk into the fingers
of your fire willingly
and dance the edge of sanity
i've never been this close
i'm in love with your ghost
unknowing captor
you never know how much you
pierce my spirit
but i can't touch you
can you hear it
a cry to be free
oh i'm forever under lock and key
as you pass through me
now i see your face before me
i would launch a thousand ships
to bring your heart back to my island
as the sand beneath me slips
as i burn up in your presence
and i know now how it feels
to be weakened like achilles
with you always at my heels
this bitter pill i swallow
is the silence that i keep
it poisons me i can't swim free
the river is too deep
though i'm baptized by your touch
i am no worse than most
in love with your ghost

Bring it………….bring love that’s effortless. Yeah I was jumping through a lot of hoops. For what? Some things just don’t go as planned. I’ve tasted love that’s effortless and I admit…….. I miss it. Crashing and burning just is NOT fun. But I learned a lot from it. Be myself first. Leave the sophomore tricks to the sophomores. Been there…..done that. But I do my best to learn from a mistake. And this was valuable dude. Really. It cost me a lot to get the car fixed but it was worth it in the long run. My next car was a piece of crap sunbird, and I learned a lesson there too. Everybody crashes and burns….but I’d rather drive than be a passenger…....you comin or what?

Green grass, three wheels, and the college road trip

I want to thank all you girls for being so interested in lending an ear. I like that! Im going to ramble a bit on this post because I want to say a few things and then get off this subject for a while and give everybody a break from me since it’s the holidays!! ….
My first undergrad experience was at a little college where everyone left on the weekends……yeah dude…kids would leave and go to the bigger schools to see how REAL schools partied. Two words dude. Road ……trip. I suppose we wanted to see what the grass was like on the other side. Maybe see something new. Ya know? A chance to get away. To me those all sound like legitimate excuses….. ..I mean….…reasons…..to get out of town. Bottom line it was just a weekend thing. Not permanent. Just a diversion cause…….come Monday…it was back to class. No harm….no foul.
Lately that’s the way I’ve been thinking about……….cheating. I think I mentioned that I’ve seen my fair share of infidelity working as a PI. Now I can’t take credit here.

'Cause I can't make you love me if you don't
You can't make your heart feel something it won't

One time my buddy across the hall BEGGED me to take him to see his girlfriend…….. at Appalachian State. He didn’t have a car and I didn’t have a girlfriend so I said sure…….as long as she set me up so I didn’t feel like a third wheel. SO …..road trip it was……
We get there on Friday and the love birds are………. joined at the hip. My date…….bombed…..so I slept in the car for two nights and days with my books……Honestly it was ok….I was doing my friend a favor and there would be other times for me. Thing was……I think he already HAD a girlfriend…..Uh……dude?..........love….….FAIL. …. Do not pass go….Do not collect 200 dollars. What ARE you doing????
WHY DO GUYS CHEAT? I’ll tell you my take. If you will tell me why you think girls cheat.... Deal?
Me first. The times that I wasn’t on the straight and narrow was when…….I wasn’t really in love. Looking back …we might have gotten along great….but I wasn’t in love and I knew my heart wasn’t in it……and when I started getting butterflies in the presence of another…….well……
Truthfully….the relationship was dead. Even if someone hadn’t come along I would have ended it in a week or so anyway.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
ON THE OTHER HAND. I have heard some pretty weak excuses from guys. (not that mine are reverent) like…. “Im always looking for something better” …WT???…I guess some people are never happy with their own backyard so they eye the neighbors grass.
I’ve seen guys trade DOWN instead of up. Here me ladies ….I will explain this NOW. Please follow ……(these are rules…..to which there are exceptions so excuse the generalities and blanket statements cause its not always the case) Bear in mind some guys cheat because they…have no backbone…or…..think with the wrong body part, etc.etc.
MY experience goes like this……(now please dont get upset because you think im living in 1952...alot of this is fallout from western social history)...Home is sanctuary for men. We are told what to do from 9-5 while at work. Men are defined by their work. Which is important given that women are defined by their life at home. Work is a focus for men (traditionally) and home is a focus for women (traditionally). The SAHM puts her energy there and expects help from her partner as her goals are centered around the house. Enter ….the man. Hes worked all day so far and been told what to do. When he gets home he expects time away from being told what to do because all work and no play makes jack a dull boy. IMMEDIATE CONFLICT. What about the trash? What about helping with the kids? What about the laundry? A woman sees these things as priority. I have bad news.….THESE things are NOT a priority for a man. I hear women all the time say “he wouldn’t know what to do without me”. Don’t fool yourself…Im telling ya…we will just live in squalor. Its not pretty. Its not fun. But it’s the truth. If men thought it a priority they would run home and start doing the laundry. ….
I admit it. Men are taught work skills not home or relationship skills. So we end up neglecting what women think is important.
Funny thing….I did do the laundry and cleaned house until one day I asked her if it made a difference …she said……”no”. I stopped contributing after that…..no remorse….I couldn’t reach her cause she was already gone. So I quit after I realized I was the only one IN the relationship. LOL I frequently say that I worked ON the relationship and she worked on getting OUT of the relationship!! ……..She won!!!
Where was I?
Oh yeah……when home life turns into home work, men will go looking for sanctuary elsewhere…..I suppose that’s the same thing that women do….when the man starts treating them poorly…they look elsewhere. Yeah I‘ve said it before …Im a sooooper genius.
I think there is a difference between cheating and being used though……Its kinda hard for me to dump on some girl who decides to cheat when the hubby is a pile of….&%^*($….my own experience was the ex was a user….now THAT is not cool. A repeat offender even…..very uncool.

Here in the dark, in these final hours
I will lay down my heart and feel the power
But you won't, no, you won't

Bring it………….bring someone with gardening skills.….. I think we can all say we’ve been cheated on……even been on the other side of the fence too. I have always been in love with the thought of 8th grade love though. Ya know? Cheating was never a part of that world…….butterflies…….holding hands……. So yeah I’d trade sleepin in my car in college for that feeling of a first kiss in 8th grade. Pucker up ….buttercup! I need a kiss before I work on the lawn!

Bombshell Bliss was sweet and gave me an award!!!!

Bombshell Bliss was kind enough to give me an award!! Woo-Woo Thank you! Dancin like snoopy, hehehee dancing like steve martin!! Hehehe
Truthfully I have to say with all my heart I appreciate the thoughts you ladies bring to me. I mean that. There are times when I think Ive sorted out something and there isn’t room for change and BAM!! Somebody hits me with a curve ball!!!! Cool…...If there is something personal that I can help any of you with….please ask….
Now I have the task of giving out awards myself. Which is hard cause I like ALL the blogs I read! Here goes……


http://angietheantitheist.blogspot.com/

Angie has had it rough….and I love a survivors story dontcha know

http://invisibleseductress.blogspot.com/

is a fabulous writer! (she wont tell me her real name) Funnier than a woman should be.

http://bloggerfriendly.blogspot.com/

Kimberly frequently has MAN pictures

http://robyncoffman.blogspot.com/
Is all Heart……. 

http://30andstartingover.blogspot.com/

Heather wants to hit me in my lump head. For a Russian shes pretty cute though…..



Each Superior Scribbler must link to the author & the name of the blog from whom he/she has received The Award.

Each Superior Scribbler must display The Award on his/her blog.

Each Superior Scribbler must post these rules on his/her blog.

Smiling faces, paintin the house, and the social contract

Dilemma dude………but Im gonna let it fly cause truth is best…right?? I SWEAR…… Im EASY to get along with…..EASY cheesy lemon squeezy.......parcheesi....hehehe And I know we all have our differences…..but if you break a social contract with me ……..I…….dont recover. Its harsh…….I……..know……...and I promise that I love being flexible…its just that I have a standard and that standard means DON’T LIE TO ME. Don’t break a social contract. Don’t USE me. Its not negotiable. Now I can’t take credit here.

Smiling faces, smiling faces sometimes
They don't tell the truth

Switch gears here. This is the house I grew up in. Its wooden and yeah Norman Rockwell fantasizes about painting it.
My dad was…..IS ………an asshole. There ….I said it….and yeah I meant it. There was the time he stole this guys brand new Cadillac and hid it……… for a WEEK …..then returned it to the same spot. Just to screw with the guy. One time he came out of a waffle house drunk and asked an officer in the parking lot (for fun) “Do you know where the waffle house is?” …..they locked him up….. Dude……Where in the
world ARE you going with this??
Ok…back to the house….I was in 5th grade and dad says “I need you to help me paint the house”. OK ……Brush….paint…bucket…ladder…..no sweat….until…..”son the ladder wont reach the top……So Im going to get on the roof and tie a rope around your waist” ……..blink……..blink…… “and” ……..”AND WHAT DAD????”.... “don’t worry”……”DON’T WORRY????...Did you JUST tell me?? …that im going to be suspended in mid air ….two floors up..…by a rope…...around my waist..….that youre going to hold…...when you put that beer down…..
……ogodogodogodogod……
All the blood ran out of my head.
Years later…when I tried to tell him that I wish he had been around more when I was young…..he had the ,,,,BALLS…...BALLS to tell me “I wasn’t around so you would learn to do things for yourself”. …Yeah dad.....sure.....Fatherhood…...FAIL.
There was this local girl I was kinda interested in. And she broke our social contract. In the interest of trying to get us together, I would ask her for something specific or even something general. Just to set up getting to see her again. Every time we got together she always had an excuse as to why she wasn’t able to “look something up” or “ask her friend” or “read what I gave her”. Yeah dude…… Always….. we would see each other several times a week and she was getting more amorous every time.But she NEVER followed up on ANYTHING I asked. She didnt even follow up on things she asked my opinion on!!!! She liked the attention she was getting but I was actually getting pissed off. I did whatever she requested and she.....dropped the ball. That lightbulb went off and I completely refused to even look at her in public. No explanation from me AT ALL. The end. Finito….. O…....VER. Break a social contract and I admit it….I ……don’t do well with that. And dont expect me to give you a road map on what you did to screw it up. Youre How old?
The same happened to another girl in town. She started cattin around….and I admit it….she was cute…lemme tell ya….and everytime we communicated she said she would look at my blog. Which I suggested was a good way to get to know me if you didn’t know ANYTHING. Well….. having looked at my visitors I could tell she was just giving me lip service….she would troll me for the attention…for weeks …..WEEKS…. dude!…..then give me lip service, every time, promising me she would look. Eventually I stopped acknowledging her too. I really hate to sound like a shit and I DON’T like to treat people with disrespect but………FRIG!!!! …Its hard for me to feel bad when I get trolled. When I realize Im getting trolled I cut your net. Don’t tell me your looking for love then throw out your net and troll. I don’t CARE if you get pissed off that I cut your net. I don’t want to play “string Trey along”. Im gonna change the rules abit and see how you like playing “Treys gonna ignore you for life”…. I know ……Im a kill joy. But I can’t stand a bait and switch….... I have a wedding album and paid off credit cards to prove it. Trolling for attention and I will NOT bite. I might consider grabbing the line and pulling you out of the boat instead......Ever met someone who says they HATE drama…..and their life is FILLED with it???? That’s fine………...just…….…. keep your distance.

Smiling faces, smiling faces
Tell lies and I got proof

Bring it………..bring a social contract we can all live with. A bad marriage taught me what not to do. A bad father taught me what a good father should be. I guess there are lessons to be learned everywhere. Make no mistake I cant always keep my end of the bargain…. But the older I get….the happier I am with the contracts I make. Now….….where do I sign?

Online dating, strip poker, and killin dinner

Im gonna say I’m lucky. Yeah dude……lucky……. Well…with most things that is…… playin the lottery is NOT my thing, and my last trip to the dog track was nothing short of a disaster, and I confess…….. Im not a card player…..although I would love some lessons…..
I cant say blessed….just lucky…cause I’ve had some good relationships in the past…..and I’m grateful for that….cause there are times when love isn’t around….. I mean….. I have my health….. Seriously dude…..
This is a picture of my local matches from an online dating site…….Like I said…I’ve got my health……….Now I can’t take credit here.

You got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em,
Know when to walk away and know when to run.

Some things just ARENT meant to be. Im good with that. Im still a lucky man. I’ve tasted love and know how good that feels…..I have a feeling there are waaayy too many people who never get their shot. Now THAT would stink. Big time……Weathering times by yourself because the love train isn’t stopping is one thing…..but to NEVER get a ride is……….well……. not pretty. Like I said …I’m lucky.
I’m a man. In my world I have to prepare for times when I’m unlucky. A REAL man doesn’t trick a woman into sleeping with him. He doesn’t make her feel guilty. He doesn’t control her or make her feel trapped to get what he wants. A lucky man is patient when he’s unlucky in love. You can’t just……..trick it into happening.
Men by nature jump up and down and yell. Ya gotta remember that for the last ten thousand years, we’ve been getting up at dawn and going out to kill dinner. All those characteristics we bring home when the hunt is over.
I was at the gym and this girl brought her two kids….. a son and a daughter.…every thirty seconds she was chastising the son for climbing around on things and the daughter just sat in the corner. She said “I wish he was as good as her” as she yanked him around the gym. FAIL. Five hundred years ago he would be out with his dad……tracking down dinner all day…not sitting in a chair. That is NOT his nature. At no point in time did a native Indian dad say “son……..sit on this rock for the next SIX hours and be still……and pay attention to the old lady over there talking about foreign policy and atomic structure……..we’re gonna do this every day this week….and at the end of the week Im gonna test you on what you remember.” FAIL X2 Boys like to throw rocks…We’re good at it… ....cut us some slack please. We're wired differently and its important for you to understand why we do what we do....Just like you really wish he would get that you sometimes just want to be held....
I will admit we still need your help. What we need your help with is how to bring you the relationship you want. I hear women criticize men all day long about how stupid we are. I gotta tell ya…. I NEVER hear a guy complain that women throw rocks like a girl. Do you?
Just for the record….I am NOT doing the online dating thing. I set up a profile just to let my beautiful followers know…….. I’m better off in this town by myself……..

You never count your money when you're sittin' at the table.
There'll be time enough for countin' when the dealin's done.

Bring it………. Bring some good luck………Life is tough on people these days. And for some it’s probably a comfort to smoke, or eat, or sit on the couch to get through the tough times. I think that’s an empty solution. You wouldn’t want your man to run to a bottle or spend your paycheck on some heroin would you? The good times are easy. It’s the hard times that test you. Yeah Trey, You’re a sooooper genius…..I guess my point is its important to measure your man by how he acts when times are tough. That will tell you something important about his character. It’s hard to feel safe around a loose cannon I should think…….. I don’t mind the downtime…… I would rather wait for my luck to change rather than place a bad bet. Maybe I should take up……...strip poker. You know what they say…….. unlucky at cards……

Retraining, building love town, and a field of dreams

Yeah dude….. its done….its up…….she got it up….. its perfect….really strong…tall…. Yeah it works……really well ……that wall is NOT going anywhere…… it looks good…. She should be happy with that….yeah dude….no WAY anybody’s getting past THAT…….been workin on it for years…..NOBODYS getting IN….or….. OUT of this place. Guaranteed.
Ok…. So ….I get the call….. “I want love”…… ok…that’s a good start……”but when someone gets close the walls go up” …sigh…....so…..you don’t want love????.... Oh … I see….. you want love but your not available…….hmmmm… maybe I DON’T see….Now I can’t take credit here.

Told myself I'd get by without love
Drownin' my sorrows
Avoiding tomorrows
Kind of felt that I just had enough

If you build it…they will come……WRONG….. field of dreams indeed….if you build it……they will ………surely be scared off. I wish I could say baseball was my thing…sorry…...FOOTBALL it is then…..
Its preseason and I have taken some time off from lower body training…. So… I need ….retraining. My upperbody is good to go dude but working legs ……is NOT fun.
Ive been avoiding this and avoiding this as long as I dared… ..so I started back last week. IM…….sore……. this is good….really……A few weeks from now and the power will come back. My body WILL remember. Its that first few weeks that’s a killer. Incidentally…… ladies…..Get your man to work his lower body…..not cardio….. I mean leg iron….…seriously. His butt, legs and lower back are the largest muscles in the body…if you see a guy with developed legs…….his endorphin/testosterone level are THROUGH the roof. Wink Wink.
One thing is certain……… I won’t play well unless I get off ma butt and start leg pressing. I can’t have it both ways. Wow, such great information Trey……ya gonna say sumpin worthwhile??? I know I can’t have walls up and find love…….thats common sense….. Duh……Well…sometimes people miss the obvious…. Myself included. Lately my bloggy friend girls have been saying some nice things about me and I want you to know I appreciate that…...its nice to be heard!!!!….….small smile….but I do my best to look in the mirror and sometimes I need a bit of retraining….
So….we talk a while and its obvious…….she wants her cake and she wants to eat it too…..she wants love but she’s got the walls up…..fan….tastic…….no deal….no dice…. The walls keep you IN and everyone else OUT……What if you met a guy and his walls were up? ….…well??......If youre unavailable then don’t think you’re gonna go far in love town…..
Ive had my heart stomped…….. yeah dude …….serious pain. My own words to another were that she had to

“trash the memory of true love instead of finding a way to mend what you had accidentally messed up. From there you shot it, cut it up, beat it, ran over it, set it on fire, and then blew it up.”

And here I am
I'm back on my feet again

Bring it………..bring the demolition crew. Building a wall is EASY in love town. The hard thing is to keep one from going up. But that’s the ONLY way love will come back to you. You have to be available. You have to open your heart.. Its not a debate. I see good people in 24 hour self preservation mode. En…....joy. You build a wall…. And you will live there by yourself. You build a wall…….and YOU have to take it down. Yeah I need a bit of retraining myself…….it is the offseason……..…..But I plan on playing again. DOWN………...SET…………

The cold, the empty, and warm feet

Oh dude….its getting cold…..this is……not good….seriously dude….. don’t get me wrong. I like Eskimos theyre cute….and a cold beer on a hot day is great …A Charlie Brown Christmas and the Grinch make me smile…….but snow is a four letter word and I am JUST not ready….ya know? No matter how much I LOVE to snow ski, I have to admit I do love summer days…..flip flops…..laying on the boat with Bob Marley and a straw hat……I was thinking about my exwife and……..Now I can’t take credit here.

Youre as cold as ice,
youre willing to sacrifice our love

And……cold really doesn’t describe her……so I cant go there….what I will say is that shes empty. And THAT………makes her worthless. Not only was she worthless as a wife… but she was worthless as a person…..Have you ever met those people?……I do have a name for them. I call them ghost people. Someone you could work beside, day after day, for years, YEARS dude, and still not have a clue WHO they are. We went to a marriage councilor for help and took some tests. The results?

I knew who I was.
I knew who she was.

She didn’t know who I was
She didn’t know who she was.

She wasn’t cold. She was a moron. Am I bitter ? Not for the marriage. Just for my kids……they have a moron guiding them. True story. A week after we split up I called her at work and the receptionist asked “Oh is this blankety blank?” (her new boyfriend). I said “No…..but he can have her” I didnt contain my laughter and it was true. I wasn’t bitter and she wasn’t cold. She did get remarried this past weekend and I did make a little toast ……..to freedom…..and lessons learned. The end of the world???….Not even close dude…..
Yeah its getting cold outside…….but the truth be known.. ….now its time for extreme spooning an getting close under the covers……..cuddlin on the couch……hot toddys, foot rubs, and sex by the fireplace on a thick, soft fur rug after a bottle of wine……....and those are things you DON’T do in the summer…….

Youre digging for gold, youre throwing away
A fortune in feelings, but someday youll pay

Bring it…………bring some hot chocolate and popcorn…I can take it! Really! …small smile…..Did she dig for gold? Yeah …..Do I want her to pay? Not really….I cant say I care enough for that…..
When people are cold I often think they have a good reason for being distant. The trick is not to dress for winter all year long…… If you cant picture summer or know what love is all about I am NOT your man…and you WONT be able to sell me ice cubes…..Heartless folks don’t change…..remember that….like someone whos empty……you cant fill them up…..but if someone is cold they might just need a warm fire to make them open up……..Breaking someone down is one thing......…making them melt is another.
I would rather pick up a bottle of wine on the way home and some firewood…….you comin or what?

Jacks ,silly putty, and a scoop of vanilla

Dude……silly putty?......are you serious? Yeah dude…Im old…..frisbees, marbles, jacks, and………...silly putty……My parents used to get a break from me when I was growing up by sending me to my grandmoms for a week each summer. So yeah were talking way before cell phones and video games. So I was at grammas mercy to entertain her with elementary math skills and prowess at spelling Mississippi. The reverse was true as well. She was in charge of keeping me busy. After recounting tales of my moms youth (mom apparently put a worm in her moms salad one day as a joke and forgot all about it until after dinner) and looking through countless black and white photos of people I would never know …….. I got to play with silly putty. Which….kept me occupied for all of……….12 minutes. You would think that the endless possibilities of having something in your hand that you could mold into anything you wanted would be attractive……….thats a noper………not a yepper. Now I can’t take credit here.

Youre no good for me
And Im no good for you

I have to admit Im an extremist. If its really safe and easy then Im probably doing it……… wrong. Bear with me……When I was young….. if a model was a snap together it didn’t take a lot of effort and I got bored pretty easy with it. If I played football against younger kids I really wasn’t entertained all that much. So shooting fish in a barrel loses its appeal quickly.
I like a challenge…….. a push…….someone with drive…….backbone……I have dated some girls who were so compliant that the fire was more like a match. Im italian…… Its ok to have a bonfire……I like love that makes you warm and hot inside…..To me thats much more reassuring and satisfying than being passive in a relationship. Yes I am a soooper genius........
I’m going to withold a name here. I dated this wirey little thing once. Our physical bond was ………..STRONG…..
….”the thought of having you all to myself to spoil and make feel safe and secure will only make you hungry and content when I ……hold you still …… and your body tightens up……and I…….slowly apply pressure….……right where you want…….….and hold it………and whisper three words in your ear to drive you”…….yeah dude …….that kind of strong…..we ALMOST took her to the ER once . She had chest pains that scared me to death after we had been sweating for nearly 8 hours……time flies when youre…….well… you know…
Ultimately we werent compatible for other reasons…..Long story short…..I have never loved vanilla ice cream……..I take that back……I did once…….were divorced now.

American woman
Get away from me
American woman
Mama let me be
I gotta go
I gotta get away

Bring it………..bring something to go with the silly putty. Mind you I don’t have bad memories of silly putty. The ability to bend and stretch yourself is a good quality. Certainly one you want in a lover. What you don’t want is OVER submission to the point of …..vanilla ice cream……..if you think your being desirable by just…laying there ….cause your letting him do what he wants ….well that’s just silly…….putty. Would you rather your man do everything you ask and not be able to lead? ………Jacks???......Anyone?

Rush week, being last, and the double funnel beer bong

I tell you right now…… boys are taught NOT to be last. Hear me ladies……Boys are brought up to HUSSLE!!! Son……do NOT settle for second place!!! What ARE you doing???? Do you NOT know how to RUN???!!!! We are taught in sports to be aggressive…take control…..dont let up……
Being a pledge for Sigma Phi Epsilon was a …healthy? diversion from studying my ass off……. But it started out as a good idea. Ya know? Yeah dude….cool…..parties…..sorority girls…..Big brothers showing you the ropes…..sworn to help and humiliate you with painful accuracy and minimal effort. The last day of rush was make or break. Do or die. The last test. ……. I showed up…..unprepared………for anything and everything. A lamb to the slaughter……..
The brothers ALL have a wry grin, and smile like sweet revenge is owed and very near. Tonight……….diligent calculus students will devolve into drunken puppets faster than you can say quadratic equation. The first pledge order is to slam a beer in under 5 seconds……..No sweat…… I look at Glynn…whose face is blank…..I wink and ….….WER”E OFF!!!!!!.... I inhale deep……………..and down it goes…I crush my can. Test passed………...NEXT??? Now I can’t take credit here.

I was the sole survivor
sole survivor
Sole survivor
solitary fighter.

It didn’t take long for my confidence to fade……..I watched as they sent some pledge to the local restaurant for a menu………...naked……..All the blood ran out of my head…..ogodogodogodogod……and where WAS Glynn????? GLYNN!!!!????? Has anybody seen GLYNN???.....Pass? ….. No chance…this test was designed to fail EVERYBODY…….I’m gonna Earn this grade……fan……tastic..
Im in luck…..…my turn at the double funnel beer bong…….cheers go up as I drop to my knees and watch what HAS to be a gallon of beer get loaded…….the chanting starts and I suck on that hose …..WITH……. EVERYTHING…….. IVE……... GOT……….UNTIL………UNTIL…….it comes flying out through my cheeks like a firehose…..I dash to the bathroom spraying like a supersoaker 3000 and people flee like I have a loaded gun. My big brother comes in to enjoy my agony and proclaims “MY BOY HAD CARROTS FOR LUNCH!!!!” Soon after that…… I went black.
I woke up the next day just as the naked guy was coming through the door with a menu.

When I saw it
I was amazed. One time glory right in my gaze.

Bring it………bring some ……preparation…...I hear women complain about men being selfish……..I wont argue…..were taught to push for first place……we want to succeed…..so tell me …. Would you want a man who says its ok to be last??? …sleep late? ….watch sports ALL the time and NOT pay the bills?..... I think men fall down when they can’t move over for the team and let their lover be first…… A man who puts his family first is a gracious loser and winner……A woman who ALWAYS puts the kids first over everything else …..is destined to fail…….I cant say I’m justified by some of the things I hear from women about their mans behavior…most of it makes me sad….. Im lucky…..I understand that using a sword at work will not work when I get home…at home I have to use a butter knife….. Love is fragile these days, but love in a mans world will not survive if he is to be placed after the laundry……If you advocate ANYTHING for the kids…. You will find your mans attention somewhere other than home.
This ALL sounds selfish….. I don’t disagree. But when I sign up, I want to play…not sit on the bench as a second stringer…..I cant imagine that a woman would want to hear she comes in second to ESPN…. I don’t like the sound of that…. But I still want to …..
Play ball!

The ring, the reunion, and mowin the lawn

When I was a junior there was this cute little cheerleader. For the life of me I don’t remember how things got started. But they ended quick! I remember that! But I just do NOT remember why she broke up with me...... It didn’t even last two weeks! Somehow…..in that really short period she ended up with my class ring……cool dude….small smile…I remember she had it on a necklace …. and then on her finger….and then…………..it was gone….. ?????? FRIG!!! What DID SHE DO WITH IT??? I mean….. breakin up with a guy is one thing ……but to throw out his class ring??? What kind of creature does that?? MY CLASS RING!!! Jeesh…. dude……you would have to be a complete #$%@) to do that to a guys class ring!! Now I can’t take credit here.

Somethings missing

So for the next 20 years Im steamed AND bummed about it…… until…….I get the call….20 years later…. “Is this Trey Logan?” ……yeah …who is this? … “did you graduate in 82 from LB?” ….yeah………who IS this?...........”I found your class ring………in my yard”…….. say again?....... “I said I found your class ring in my yard”. …..I start pacing…….REALLY??? …..NO JOKE?? ……HAHA….WAIT………WHAT??? ….victory at last!!!! Yeah dude…..forget HER!! …..Dancin now…....hhmmm hmmmmm hmmmmm yeahyeahyeah…..thankyouthankyouthankyou……where are you and I’ll come and get it!.........He gives me the address and…….. I stop dancin……. “You mean ……on the corner?” ….”little white house??”…….and it hit me….I used to mow the grass there when I was in high school……it must have….. fallen off….. or something ….. yeah dude……FAIL…….
She hadn’t thrown it away…..somehow she had given it back to me and …….I LOST it!!!! ..Fan……..tastic.
Fast forward to last week. Its high school reunion planning time and there are BIG smiles and hugs long overdue when we come together. Good natured humor and familiarity take over and I am instantly transformed back to being a teenager. 27 years………gone……
We are all together to let our hair down…and drink down the past to make whole what is owed after all this time….stories of youth …….memories and yes…..class rings……. Were a tough bunch ..….survivors of infidelity….….mistreatment……..loneliness ……disappointment…. unrealized dreams ……all……….stolen by time……
She is there……and…..I am never ……..on guard…….expecting nothing other than the effortless friendship of those I trust…… the bonds of my youth are strong….. and I am still ……..a rock.
Our time is all casual together but……..She is……not herself…..I can FEEL it. Her past she keeps with her….Then the words spill “I don’t know what I want”…. “Just once I want to wake up happy” and my heart…..is FULL with pain…..but the occasion is too happy for us to take up bearing crosses and so we laugh and play, completely satisfied with the bubble we have made. No bills…….no games……no pressures….
She is facing me, her bare foot on the arm of my chair And then…….
Instinct just…….comes…….I slide my hand across the bottom of her foot and pull it to me…both thumbs …flattening her arch ……….back…. and …..forth….. while we talk round the table. The comfort between us is …….effortless …complete…..unspoken……..still her past ……dominates her thoughts..…its control …….ever present……but…

When autumn comes, it doesn’t ask.
It just walks in, where it left you last.

Bring it……..bring dreams that still live… ….some dreams you just canNOT kill dude..….some dreams will NOT die. Even if they are forgotten……or asleep…. or …..lost in high grass for 27 years. … life is rough on people these days…If you’ve lost it…..find it……nobody gets outta here without battle scars and lost rings…..but if you’re lucky…you might just find somebody to help find it…….the reunion is in 2 weeks…….

A tool box, the pink house, and a false alarm at the farm

It was………..as close a call as I dared play and survive intact dude…..definitely a toolbox and skills to match….she was…….smart…….with………..serious eye candy . Friggg!!!!!....... Oh ….I admit it … I was buyin it…..and I roll with no brakes …….What ARE you doing dude????? Are you gonna watch the road or WHAT? What kind of idiot rolls with NO brakes???.......Im OK aren’t I……yeah……..you AL…….MOST bought that…..the check was in your hand…..Dont lie….you were GONE………..…OK….OK….OK…Now I cant take credit here.

And you can't build a house of leaves
And live like it's an evergreen

Yeah dude ….the pink house had no brakes either ….you almost bought THAT too……late nite drankin………no dude …. when you came to the pink house you were DRANKIN. I woke up one nite to the sound of my answering machine buzzing and popping……playing backwards and then forward….then backwards again….. ???????...... I got outa bed and picked it up…it was soaking wet……. OH MAN…someone probably spilled a beer on it.….. So I took it in the kitchen and spent about ten minutes cleaning and dryin it ….hoping it would work in the morning…..
Back to sleep I went….. still buzzin from the party. I woke up when I heard someone in my bedroom pouring a drink out ….. WHAT ??????.... I turned the lights on……. There was a buddy of mine pissing all over my nightstand…….GR……….EAT…. Now I knew what happened to the answering machine…….
Pete and I lived in the pink house. Yeah dude it was pink…..Why? Because Jimmy needed a place to use the penis freeway. That’s why. Renting a pink house was certainly better than buying it……Eventually Jimmy hooked me up with ……..“buy the farm”…… girl. Buy the farm girl and I didn’t last very long……Buy the farm girl was….. oh…..20 ……….and wanted kids……..like……..right now……I mean RIGHT now….…today if possible……..
Our first time together was our last……
I was not going to buy the farm…….. lets call the sale off………..you can take it off the market……. at best I would be renting for a while……I was in sheer PANIC mode for 31 days……..I can hear the stories now….. “well son ……that SOB sperm donor that was your dad lived in a pink house and played drums for some band…before he skipped town 20 years ago and left us with nothing……and we haven’t seen him since”…….. yep that was going to be my legacy….

People have the right to fly
And will when it gets compromised

Bring it……….bring a farm worth buying…...The divorce rate is kinda high...NO?.... I am NOT for sale…...I appreciate friends who speak up and warn me…. I don’t know it all so a little help from my friends goes along way. I am a rock of a man. Running would be easy …….but I earn my titles… say what you mean….mean what you say….…… I called her and told her it was best for us to wait until she was free…. Small smile…..…having your cake and eating it too?????..... Buyer beware dude…buying a house doesn’t make it a home…..you can paint over the pink all you want…..if you bring me something …….. your heart better be in it…… LOL I know the difference between renting and buying…..and when I take your hand….. Ill KNOW ….the market…she is a changin……..I have a bit of home improvement myself…….. I might just need a hammer…….

New math, round 1, and the unprepared kiss

I had Mrs. Grey for Algebra 1 in high school. As a freshman I was concerned with everything BUT Algebra 1. Wrestling started soon…… getting a date was near impossible…..I couldn’t drive yet and there was no WAY I was going to pay 7 dollars a ticket to see Heart when they came to town. Yeah dude I was ……...distracted. So I was ……...impressionable. Glynn would come in to math and ……..….sleep. He had like …..…a full time job and was dating a SENIOR…….yeah dude……Glynn was busy. We got to talking about Christmas and I asked him what he was getting his girlfriend he said….….”well……a stereo, a fur coat, some jewelry……the list went ON dude…...I JUST….. stared…… all that? …….for one girl? .. Blink.. blink….This was in early November and I was really feeling the squeeze of bad grades. But have no fear…..Glynn had the answer. “A few more weeks and it’ll be Christmas break……..…we don’t have to study.” He laughed….….I listened………we failed. Now I can’t take credit here.

We don't need no education
We don't need no thought control

Fast forward to yesterday....Im at the gym…..it’s back day and my body is JACKED. The Boneyard is CRANKING and ALL I can think about is how strong its going to feel to run THROUGH a linebacker, FULL punishment……and………..I see her car drive by. I heard she WASNT coming. …..??????....... she pulls in back so as not to be seen because she knows ….shes TAKEN…..I hit the door with Godsmack ………THUNDERING in my ears and walk over…the window rolls down…”Hey” she breathes her words softly and tilts her head shyly. “I couldn’t help it”. A small smile and her eyes just BEAM ......and we talk a bit…… shes.......fishing……..dancing……………..testing…… “Aren’t you cold?” her hand runs up under the front of my shirt and maps my chest slowly. “No”. We talk some more and mind you …..we have not EVEN kissed yet. I told her I wanted our first kiss to be alcohol free and a shot of tequila before my workout insured that it would not be tonight. “Do you want some gum?” ….. I DON’T…… see ……..the bait….. “sure”. She takes two pieces and puts them in her mouth and says “ok”……. I……. fall for it….I pull her close …..her eyes close and my hand is under her hair …..a thumb tracing the curve of her ear…her breathing rhythm ….changes …all…her….control is …..gone………completely ……. and she is submissive to the soothing motion of my hand on the back of her neck. And…… …..I STOP. …… The world ……comes crashing back in pieces. She has to go…… tells me she wants a hug goodbye and steps out of the car. I hold my ground and she is instantly up against me, her eyes and hands …..follow my shoulders …and……. She purrs ……out loud with approval….. hungry,,,….. big eyes…. We kiss again and her body responds ……..without speech….. it cries for more …..all of the sudden she is underneath my clothes gripping my ASS which tightens like iron and I ……..STOP.
I ……….. am ……not …..pleased with my actions…….we say good bye. I text her a smile a few minutes later and the reply comes…. “you fell 4 it…Ur losin your touch…Mr toughman! Oh yea Ur a nice kisser!”. Yeah dude …epic trey logan FAIL.

All in all it's just another brick in the wall
All in all you're just another brick in the wall

Bring it……….bring another round. Its NOT over. I got game……the second half is ALL MINE. Glynn and I did fail math that year. But I did make it up in summer school and I CRUSHED calculus. I may get a bad grade when I’m distracted...... Makin a C is .....ok…. But you better be ON your toes cause Im NOT that freshman anymore ..…and given the chance….. ill school ya on just that. The email the next day comes in....Right on time... "Did I scare you off?" ………there’s the bell…….…class is in.

Broken shackles, a parachute, and the drifters

I have mad skills dude…..seriously…if you want it tiled, built, rebuilt, shingled, or wired I AM the fushizzle……OK …so theyre old skills…..but I AM a guy…so I like solving problems…… For the past few weeks I’ve been having a problem. Im a rock…..thats the problem….rocks don’t make good parachutes…..but they DO make excellent stepping stones…..
Shes……..pushing ……ALL the right buttons……..dude is this chess?.....no don’t think so….battleship?...no…..marbles?...no……………archery? LOL…I must have a bullseye on my back……shes singing very sweetly…softly…. …shes dancing very seductively…..shes still…….. taken……maybe I should be focusing on the music instead…..Now I can’t take credit here.

Its the same old story
Same old song and dance, my friend

We used to go watch the drifters at the harvest house of all places. I was typically the only white guy there. But the music really brought a crowd in....lemme tell ya…they didn’t play just oldies ..just a couple of their hits then…….earth wind and fire, Rick james, the commodores, parliamnent. For our little home town it was a PARTY…..Every two weeks when they came through. After the show we would all go back to Leos and party till the sun came up…..then crash…….After a while I lent the drummer some of my cymbals and would bring my bass to jam some…. Out of the blue the lead singer one day cornered me…….. “Do you want to go on the road with us?” …..ha ha ….…wait …what?..... “Youre a great bass player man, do you want to go on the road with us?” …..youre joking right…..I mean…you HAVE a great bass player……”Its not working out…..were having problems”…….
I looked around to see who was listening….. “You know I’m white….….right?” ….he looked dead at me……..”Man……. music aint ABOUT color”……I was silent……He said .”I like you….and you can PLAY……. Think about it” .....
THIS was a problem…... go???......stay???? FRIG!!! I cant just GO dude!!.....How can you NOT go dude???.....
To make a long story short……… I turned it down…… I couldnt jump without a parachute…..or have a solid stepping stone…….I had a good job and in the end old school practicality won out.
But right NOW ……shes testing……me…….and Im much stronger than the caveboys shes accustomed to…… older….smarter……
Her A game surfaces quickly…..the oldest tricks are the best ..no?....her body language is …..intoxicating…….and …..her eyes swell…..softly pleading…….daring me to make her submissive……..the finesse and prowess of a snake charmer…. breathing deeply and slowly……. Shes TAKEN…..

Said love aint the same
On the south side of town
You could look
But you aint gonna find it around

Bring it…….bring a leap of faith. I have……mad skills….but I am not……..a willing parachute…..or a stepping stone…..Love isnt built on broken shackles……A song and dance in chains is……….nothing to a rock. The band is playing……..what’l it be?? This is the last song and dance…….my friend.

Physics, suckers and smoke in the mirror

I’m…………….having a problem. Right NOW……..Yeah dude……….uno grande problemo……shes ………taken….for now………she says…..but that doesn’t stop chemistry from going BOOM! Now does it? No dude…she has……..soft eyes…… and it makes me smile slightly EVERY time I look at her……her voice is far too soothing and….…dude ...reality trumps everything……. Yeah ….I know…BUT SHES TAKEN…….. You can dream all you want…….wish REAL hard……..juggle on a unicycle……I don’t care……..SHES TAKEN…….you might as well…….pretend your going on that shuttle mission…..or playing the lead role in the next Spielberg flick………yeah dude….your WASTING………HELLO??....WASTING YOUR TIME. Be a sucker or a fool…..your choice….take your pick……you can have either one…..take your time….think it through…..Now I can’t take credit here.

Stuck between a rock
And a hard place
Between a rock and a hard place

I’ve been a fool before……..A sucker too. There was this other girl…….we both fell……....chemistry??? No dude….….physics……An atomic bomb went off the very first second we met. I kid you not. The VERY ……..FIRST……….. SECOND. No choice……no decision……BOOOOM!!!!!! I remember that moment clearly…….completely….. BLISS…..JOY…..LOVE…….PERFECTION……PASSION…..UNBREAKABLE WHOLENESS……RIGHT HERE………RIGHT NOW….yeah dude the search was O…….VER……….O V E R ……
She was ……..…taken. .......FRIG!!!! The next few months were no less than …….torture……… FRIG!!!!!!!!!!! SHES %$^*# TAKEN!!!!....... You’re a fool….no…you’re a sucker…..WHO THE ……$@&*#% CARES??
Make no mistake…we felt the same……..Night …….Day…….together….apart……a friggin NIGHTMARE I TELL YOU!!!! And finally……….we decided that she would move the rock……..neither of us could stand it any longer…......she would leave her husband.
And then…….
Everything changed……I kid you not…..Instant flatline. She was 40 years old and I asked her when she wanted to retire. She smiled at me …BIG eyes……..and a grin that would make the grinch who stole Christmas envious slowly spread across her face and she coyly said “41”. …………….shes on her third marriage now.

Give me truth now
Don't want no slam
I'd be hung drawn and quartered for a sheep
just as a well as a lamb

Bring it………bring openness…….I know what smoke and mirrors look like and I did pretty good in chemistry and physics……. I still ………….have a problem though ……right ………now….. Her eyes……. move me and her long blond mane steals mens thoughts and draws jealous fire from all women who see her. She is sweet and demur….. and I am …....a sucker……..or a fool. She is TAKEN……. I have never felt sorry for fools. Suffering fools makes me…….angry. I am just not sure whether being a sucker is all that much better.

The water bed, joe cocker and a weekend track star

Pam was sweet………and well …….endowed…….Dark, long hair and lovely dark eyes. Her mom was a jewel too. She was still living at home when she gave me the news “my mom says you can sleep over”…..Until then it had been late nite makeouts on the living room couch……an lemme say I was good with that…..so when the news came I was ………scared????.......embarrassed????? ……yeah dude………..her MOM said I can sleep with her DAUGHTER……...over night…….....in……....the waterbed……. Gee willickers……...I mean…..
So shes DRAGGIN me into her bedroom literally ………and the business gets going…..…Im FREAKIN cause her moms in the NEXT room…….THE NEXT ROOM……..…..ogodogodogodogod………be quiet…..omanomanoman…. sssshhhhhh……..Now I can't take credit here.

feelin' all right, oh oh
I'm not feelin' too good myself, oh oh

Eventually the hormones get the best of me and I… CENSORED ……and she…CENSORED………..and then we….CENSORED..some more……..until…..we collapse in full sweat…….her head on my chest , her hand on my arm…….just enjoying the moment….
I reach over and…………….there’s the CENSORED spot……..we rest……hmmm pretty big……..I am………a MAN. A few minutes later my hand hits the same spot again….hmmmm that’s REALLY big……I am a BIG MAN!!!!!.........we rest………a few minutes later…….I feel something wet….. I reach over and the spot is……. HUGE!!!!!!………..I m not THAT big of a man…..what IS that??? The lights go on and …..…….the water beds busted……….oman………….OMANOMANOMAN!!!!…..…we throw on clothes and start rushing around…..Im running through the house like a professional track star on fire and the house is ALIVE with us rushing to the hall closet, to the bathroom , tearing the bed apart…….and I meet her mom in the hall….WHATS GOING ON?????....I stop ……cold………...I have this …..…..blank stare …UH……….…….…..Pam pushes between us…”the waterbeds busted mom”………all the blood runs out of my head……….and her mom hands me a stack of towels......

Seems I got to have a change of scene
Every night I have the strangest dream
Imprisoned by the way it could have been

Bring it……..Bring …. a place to stay…… cause I am NOT going through that again……..Pam and I had some really good memories but I was young and shallow. Pam was……...well……..endowed….. and we were so comfortable together that her frame caught up with the rest of her. I felt a bit out of place and my attempts to change things weren’t effective until………… we broke up. We talked a few years later and had a good laugh when she ribbed me that I never got to see her after that “cause she was HOT!!!!!” and everything was good between us….. but from now on…….. I think ill just stick to my sealy posturepedic

Boston, the YMCA and pennies in the pool

Who doesn’t LOVE the water??? All those opposed need not bring it…You’re excused. Yeah dude…I lived in the country and I learned to swim at the YMCA. Inner city kids in their underwear and some of them in the buff….no joke dude. My mom was banned from the local pool because she left me in one of those big ass cribs and I had pooped and spread it all over everything including myself. . BUT…….
By seventh grade I was a fish….I don’t remember who told me that Jennifer thought I was cute. JENNIFER?????...REALLY??? WHO TOLD YOU THAT???ARE YOU SURE????REALLY???..... but I spent the ENTIRE summer trying to get her attention.
This would NOT be easy. There’s like ……COOL high school guys….…big guys….like……...with cars. I’m supposed to compete with THIS???
OK …challenge accepted. I swim the length of the pool…..underwater……DID SHE SEE ME???? HUH???.....DID SHE SEE THAT??? Im buying people ice cream…..I got that cool new towel…………..nuthin…..
Alright ….that’s IT….I’m upping my game…..I’m getting at least …….10 pennies off the deep end bottom…….yeah dude……im…..pressive.
I dive in ….and crack heads with Jody……somebody pulls me out…....then there was the time I thought it would be cool to spin around on the diving board and get all dizzy before I went in….I fell off and hit the concrete……….
Clearly my courting skills needed some refining….who was I kidding?......they needed an overhaul….
A few years later I get…….…..the call. Party? …. Jennifers?....... Parents gone? Dude I am THERE. Now I can’t take credit here.

I'm gettin' ready for a party tonight
Yes I'm gettin' ready to cruise
And if you've got somethin' for me
I've got somethin' for you

By now I’m life guarding AND driving. Ok dude..its sink or swim. I take the car….put the top down, crank up the foreigner…. and race over there…….everyones around back so I make my dramatic entrance…….I drive ACROSS the yard and around the house…….. shades on.....music blarin. Its wet so the car starts spinning so I give it more gas to keep it going. ….by the time I get around back everyone is staring and there is mud flying, music blasting and the car just TEARS up the lawn. I rev the engine and it sinks deeper and deeper until it finally comes to a complete stop……………total silence…..….. I will NOT be swimming today….. In fact I will be sinking……..I feel like sinking…..yep Im sinkin…….got that part down …..I finally got her attention

Baby, it's a party as long as you're there
It's a party, party, party!

I turned the music off…… It took everyone pushing to get me out of there. Its ok. …..That relationship sank but it wouldn’t keep me from jumping back in.
Bring it……bring a flotation device…..if you can’t ….Ill share. I’ve learned its good to be ready ….just in case someone wants to swim. ……breaks over!!!!!!

The call, the trash, and love at HoJos

Dude …..I got the call…….yep….this morning…..yes I warned her…..you know I did…..3 months into the marriage and she is already talking divorce. We talked about it for MONTHS….months I SAY……late night…..cell phone batteries dying….she said she was sure…..I said………it didn’t matter what I said….she wasn’t………. listening…….goofa me tooble….. snoff a poppa IBBA kibby foot ….. k? Garbage in……garbage out. Now I can’t take credit here.

Got a call from an old friend
We used to be real close

Lemme tell ya……takin out the garbage at Howard Johnsons was NOT fun. Ofcourse it had to be done at the end of the night and on a Friday……payday….. when you had a date and it was the LAST thing to do…….you were in R U S H mode……By this time you stunk from the sweat and hot dishwater that soaked you in between running to bus tables. Wet from head to foot the dishwashers would do their best to be invisible to the waitresses that still looked HOT at evenings end. Which was hard considering you stunk and were carrying 50 lbs of dirty dishes ….every time you they saw you. The floor was a slip and slide from the sloshing and stacks of hot plates would burn you as you slid from place to place cussing out your friends who were working at blockbuster. So Chad and I are wheeling out the trash to the dumpster and I stand behind him just to be safe. He pulls out this overstuffed bag full of disgusting waste and gears up to heave it into the dumpster. On the backswing…….. the bag EXPLODES…..ALL OVER ME. I am covered, and I mean COVERED in leftovers…..I am SOOOO pissed ………..and end up puking and laughing at the same time until my cheeks and side can take it no more.
It was ok. Chad was my male soul mate and my date after work was my female soul mate Valerie. A change of clothes and life was good again. Valerie and I got some beer and laid out in her driveway and we both looked up at the stars while I stroked her hair. Casual, playful talk….. Sweet smiles…..I can…..SEE …..INSIDE her when she stares at me…... Completely at ease and nothing could have been more perfect.

Chad died in a car accident. Valerie died from some prescription drug…………………….They’re……both…………….…gone…………

I’m crying as I type and my world ……..just………….stops.

Ah, but sooner or later you sleep in your own space
Either way it's okay to wake up with yourself
I don't need you to worry for me cause I'm alright

Bring it……..bring…………..what matters. The girl I gotta call from has severe kidney problems…….for starters. Her marriage is already a mess. Now a days people are anxious to talk…… they have financial problems, emotional problems, coworker problems…..marital problems. I like to be heard too. I also like to listen. Nothing pisses me off more than to talk and have someone NOT hear me. Garbage in…..garbage out…...Riiiingggg……………...Hello?