whatcha ona bout girl??

whatcha ona bout girl??
A retrospective on the inner workings of love, flying pancakes, mensa disasters, dandelion cookies, number bending, super salt, bubblegum oysters, chicken spit, crystal kidneys, guerilla carrots, polychromatic tofu, paraphysics, tender vigilanties, black sand, phillastine placebos, wood soup, buttered shuttlecocks, apostrophe training, fish whips, bleeding speed, plastic fantastic lobster telephones, venus drug rehab, clowns on fire, kiosks on a leash, marshmello overcoats, bottled light, fried blood, unbridled hyperthyroidism, folding wine, amygdula tickling, fainting in coils, hamburgers for the apocalypse, plastic memes, and conjugal fritters.....well...the love parts true

Monday, October 5, 2009

A tool box, the pink house, and a false alarm at the farm


It was………..as close a call as I dared play and survive intact dude…..definitely a toolbox and skills to match….she was…….smart…….with………..serious eye candy . Friggg!!!!!....... Oh ….I admit it … I was buyin it…..and I roll with no brakes …….What ARE you doing dude????? Are you gonna watch the road or WHAT? What kind of idiot rolls with NO brakes???.......Im OK aren’t I……yeah……..you AL…….MOST bought that…..the check was in your hand…..Dont lie….you were GONE………..…OK….OK….OK…Now I cant take credit here.

And you can't build a house of leaves
And live like it's an evergreen

Yeah dude ….the pink house had no brakes either ….you almost bought THAT too……late nite drankin………no dude …. when you came to the pink house you were DRANKIN. I woke up one nite to the sound of my answering machine buzzing and popping……playing backwards and then forward….then backwards again….. ???????...... I got outa bed and picked it up…it was soaking wet……. OH MAN…someone probably spilled a beer on it.….. So I took it in the kitchen and spent about ten minutes cleaning and dryin it ….hoping it would work in the morning…..
Back to sleep I went….. still buzzin from the party. I woke up when I heard someone in my bedroom pouring a drink out ….. WHAT ??????.... I turned the lights on……. There was a buddy of mine pissing all over my nightstand…….GR……….EAT…. Now I knew what happened to the answering machine…….
Pete and I lived in the pink house. Yeah dude it was pink…..Why? Because Jimmy needed a place to use the penis freeway. That’s why. Renting a pink house was certainly better than buying it……Eventually Jimmy hooked me up with ……..“buy the farm”…… girl. Buy the farm girl and I didn’t last very long……Buy the farm girl was….. oh…..20 ……….and wanted kids……..like……..right now……I mean RIGHT now….…today if possible……..
Our first time together was our last……
I was not going to buy the farm…….. lets call the sale off………..you can take it off the market……. at best I would be renting for a while……I was in sheer PANIC mode for 31 days……..I can hear the stories now….. “well son ……that SOB sperm donor that was your dad lived in a pink house and played drums for some band…before he skipped town 20 years ago and left us with nothing……and we haven’t seen him since”…….. yep that was going to be my legacy….

People have the right to fly
And will when it gets compromised

Bring it……….bring a farm worth buying…...The divorce rate is kinda high...NO?.... I am NOT for sale…...I appreciate friends who speak up and warn me…. I don’t know it all so a little help from my friends goes along way. I am a rock of a man. Running would be easy …….but I earn my titles… say what you mean….mean what you say….…… I called her and told her it was best for us to wait until she was free…. Small smile…..…having your cake and eating it too?????..... Buyer beware dude…buying a house doesn’t make it a home…..you can paint over the pink all you want…..if you bring me something …….. your heart better be in it…… LOL I know the difference between renting and buying…..and when I take your hand….. Ill KNOW ….the market…she is a changin……..I have a bit of home improvement myself…….. I might just need a hammer…….

13 comments:

S. Eutin said...

Glad you made that call. Be strong man! :) Hope you cleaned the phone again before you made that call. haha

Some women, like men I suppose, like the chase and the adreneline rush. Here's to hoping you catch the girl and she continues to chase you.

Miss Angie said...

Great analogy, and good for you! It's good to know what you want, and to make sure you don't sacrifice that either!

Carolina Girl said...

Alright just for you I'll cut him some slack, haha! I knew you would say that! :)

Good for you...and take care of you!

Amy said...

Good call. GOOOOOOD CALL!

So glad your head is on straight and your vision is clear. You deserve better than what you were in for.

f1trey said...

@ S- LOL I love the song...the thrill is gone! LOL

@Angie- yeah darlin we on the same page!!!!

f1trey said...

@ Carolina I just would hate to throw out the baby with the bathwater...think about it ..you wouldnt want me to dis a date with you because you ordered a bunch of stuff...would you?

@Amy---you and me too!! you deserve a good one!!

Diane said...

"You can paint over the pink all you want..."

Yeah... I finally learned how to stop doing that. Whew.

Barbarella said...

So you talked the talk, now let's see if you can walk the walk?! Got a bit blogged out so took a breather.

Kimberly said...

Everyone wants their cake & wants to eat it too - I've never fully understood that little phrase anyway. You get cake, you eat the cake, right?

April said...

Good for you for doing what's best for your heart! And, either she'll leave him because it's a bad relationship or she'll stay, because they always stay, and keep trying to play the game with you. Because now? Now you're a challenge. You've said NO and women don't like that. Be prepared......You're a rock!

April said...

Oh and I agree with Kimberly about the saying. If I have a cake, why wouldn't I want to eat it? Is it selfish for someone to want to eat their own damn cake? Damn stupid sayings not making any sense! =)

f1trey said...

@ April- Im not sure what you had for breakfast....... but I want you to have some more tomorow!!! LOL :)

April said...

Unfortunately I spent the night with Jose Cuervo. I think he was still around for breakfast. Or at least it felt that way. UGH!