whatcha ona bout girl??

whatcha ona bout girl??
A retrospective on the inner workings of love, flying pancakes, mensa disasters, dandelion cookies, number bending, super salt, bubblegum oysters, chicken spit, crystal kidneys, guerilla carrots, polychromatic tofu, paraphysics, tender vigilanties, black sand, phillastine placebos, wood soup, buttered shuttlecocks, apostrophe training, fish whips, bleeding speed, plastic fantastic lobster telephones, venus drug rehab, clowns on fire, kiosks on a leash, marshmello overcoats, bottled light, fried blood, unbridled hyperthyroidism, folding wine, amygdula tickling, fainting in coils, hamburgers for the apocalypse, plastic memes, and conjugal fritters.....well...the love parts true

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

The reunion, the mechanic, and time in a bottle


Ok……. the high school reunion was this past weekend…..yeah dude…..too much fun…. and just enough secrets that I would blush to type them even here. …small smile…. All in all some good folks did their best to get the past together and knowing my peeps like I do …a good time was had by all……I didn’t get laid…….but a good time was had by all. Lately Ive fashioned myself as a mechanic. A fixer. And its true…..its broke dude?? Hand it to me…..no…just hand it to me….I’ll take care of it…...How can that be bad? Fixin up the reunion for some good friends has to be righteous!!!! Now I can’t take credit here.

If I could save time in a bottle
The first thing that Id like to do
Is to save every day
Till eternity passes away
Just to spend them with you

Lemme say straight up… I like being a man. Not because it’s a mans world……or because im a chauvanist…. I like being a man because the thought of holding someone close and making them feel safe and secure yanks my crank. I LOVE intimacy…….foreplay???? dude ……don’t sell it short… how bout……fiveplay ??.....sixplay?? Remember that a man starts with whats in the bedroom and takes that outside the bedroom…… A woman is the other way around…..she takes the bills, the house payment, and how shes mistreated INTO the bedroom. I have to take care of her outside the bedroom for her to respond inside the bedroom. In a mans world, having sex is a priority because it FEELS good. I don’t get the same feeling when I ……pay the bills, take out the trash, or do the laundry. Does that make sense?
My job as a man is successful when she feels safe on my arm. Her heart comes first and her body follows in the bedroom. If I break THAT…by treating her wrong OUTSIDE the bedroom…...I cant fix it.
True story. There was this girl that I had been wanting to get close to….. I knew her past boyfriends and ….wasnt impressed…..but still I was drawn to her and when the time came for us to get neked I asked her…”what do you want?” …..she said….”I don’t know”……..and I told her to get her clothes on I was taking her home….. If she didn’t know what she wanted then how would I know? It wasn’t the most tactful thing Ive ever done…..
The truth is she had been with a bunch of bozos and never got a chance to find out what made her motor run…… I LOVE cars and fashion myself a mechanic…but I …..cant ….fix….. this…….
There was another girl…I really was head over heels for…..but….EVERYTIME we went out she started a fight…..EVERYTIME…..Lemme say for the record. I don’t do makeup sex….if you piss me off on purpose guess what the result is??? Im PISSED off….the LAST thing I want to do is have sex with you…
True story…same girl….. My BEST friend died and I told her I needed to go see his widow and the girlfriend said she wanted to come. I really needed some support and was glad she offered. We spent an couple of hours with others who were mourning the loss of a good friend and when we were leaving I thought it would be nice to ask my girl if there was anything she wanted?….was there any place she needed to go?… I thought it would be nice to return a favor. She spent the last couple of hours doing what I wanted and I thought I would return the offer. This is a quote….she screamed…. “NO!!!!! IM HUNGRY IM TIRED AND I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND GO TO BED”…… I was out of there the next day. But I still kept my manhood intact. I completely put new flooring in her kitchen first like I promised. Then told her it was over.

But there never seems to be enough time
To do the things you want to do

Bring it…………bring somethin that aint broke OR a really well stocked tool box…..Im not a perfect man. And I do LOVE to fix things……It makes me sad that some don’t ever get to taste love…..but if someone breaks you….YOU have to fix it….. you cant depend one someone ELSE to fix your broken heart. ….someone doesn’t BRING you love….. you make it together……maybe Ill get laid in five years at the next reunion.

19 comments:

April said...

Once again, you are SOOO right! I believe that one can't be solid in a relationship if they're not right themselves. I believe the same goes for parenting. Before you decide to have a kid, or accidentally pop one out, you need to get right with yourself. A life is going to depend on you.

Yeah.

I'm a fixer too.

"Seattle" Heather said...

You should go around the country and talk to men. Some of them could really learn a thing or two from you. Even my own boyfriend...who doesn't get it...when you piss me off...you've pissed me off. And you just can't shake all that off because someone says they're sorry. Sorry you didn't get laid...but perhaps *that* special lady just wasn't there.
My mother always said when you stop looking for love...love finds you...

April said...

Heather: I think your mom is right. I wasn't looking for love when it came and smacked me right in the face!! Way to go mom!

f1trey said...

@ April- I am sOOO sorry darlin I hate this...your firewalled at work...thats a first... I dont know why but I just cannot get on your blog!!! :( X2

Killer point about kids...yeah thats true.....I hadnt really thought of it hat way but youre right on....when a guy gets married that dynamic changes so much with kids...... i know thats not really your point but ....
I guess the reverse is true as well....hmmmm there are plenty of guys as well as girls who are NOT ready for children.....

f1trey said...

@ Heather- LOL talk to guys???? thats the LAST thing I want to do!!! LOL talk to your boyfriend ??? forget it!! Im waitin for him to screw up mexico!!! LOL

I was hoping to be a guest speaker at some playboy convention..... :)

Oh ...no...im gonna get totally smacked upside my lump head again arent I?

Miss Angie said...

Every time I read your blog, I am astounded. It always speaks to me and it's always beautifully put!

Carolina Girl said...

Trey, but you ARE the sexiest man alive! Well, in the blogosphere at least :o)) Especially if you keep writing posts like this!

f1trey said...

@ Angie- Just "big eyed"!!! Thank you! 8)

@ Carolina- hehehehe I couldnt resist that! Im glad im causign virtual orgasms! LOL

Kimberly said...

Well, well Mr. Romantic strikes again. I like being a woman so I'll take your arm & then I'll take you into the bedroom (oops, what?)

SkitzoLeezra said...

MY idea of make up sex is fucking up my dude's car!! :-)

Hey, if ya wanna get laid at a class reunion, why not attend the class that was 10 years ahead of yours? Bet those ladies would LOVE to see you walk in. Easy pickin's.

f1trey said...

@ Kimberly- might not be able to wait that long! LOL

@ Skitzo- now THATS funny!!! touche! all the voices in my head are laughing now!

Amy said...

I have said it before, and I'll say it again. You should lecture on this stuff. You are dead on. again.

"if someone breaks you….YOU have to fix it" - such true words.

I'm sure you won't be waiting for five years.

MaLou Silverman said...

I agree with Amy, you should conduct seminars to those clueless men, lol.

Sixplay, that's like dying and going to heaven and back again and again.....

About the woman who does not know what she wants, I think you were a little harsh. Some women who were not treated right ever, does not know joys of being pleasured....you should hold her hand and guide her through her motor....

Shubarna said...

and i thought all a girl wants was a man to treat her well... i don't understand how so many blew it up!
anyways, it's not always easy to know wat you want... so lets leave it at that!

f1trey said...

@ Amy- Thanks girl! Its good to be right at least ....once! and yeah if I have to wait five years it wont be pretty!!!

@ MaLou- Thank you sweetie! I debated about whether to tell that story or not.. .. Im not proud of what happened...truth was at the time I had gotten out of a bad marriage and i was looking for a PARTNER ...not someone I had to teach.......That was selfish of me but a bad marriage conditioned me to look for a partner who was READY for a relationship... I had invested 10 years in one that had bad communication and I was not going to repeat that mistake with someone who couldnt communicate....

@ Shubarna- Long time no hear! I cant say that! If you asked me do you love me and i responded with I dont know what i want ....thats not very encouraging......With love you have to know yourself FIRST...otherwise you will not form a relationship....If you DONT know what you want then a failed relationship rests completely on YOUR shoulders.....not mine....

lifechick said...

Makeup sex can be fun, but not if you're fighting all the time. Some people don't want a healthy relationship as much as they want to live for drama. Or maybe creating drama makes them feel alive. No idea - I'm not a drama fan myself!

f1trey said...

@ Lifechick- Yep gotta go with that!! No drama-- I run into people who say they dont like drama but thrive on the attention..... I DO NOT like those people and steer clear of them!!!!

Do guys act that way??? I dont know.... I know girls that seem to thrive on the ups and downs..but I dont know any guys who provoke their woman that way... i know guys that say stupid things to try and get attention........
My exwife was one of those people ..she loved chaos....the more hectic things were the more she felt at home......she liked stirring things up.....im glad shes remarried!!!!!

SKB said...

1-I love reading you.
2-I know a drama king. You do too. And like many, he'll swear he's all about no drama. Uh huh.
3-I see somewhat of a recurring theme and I wonder what you make of this... it almost seems as though you sabotage yourself with, for lack of a better word, "tests"...?
4-I love reading you.
=X

f1trey said...

@ SKB- Oh man...im stumped..... someone we BOTH know? a guy? ....insert hint here...... u b talkin bout yo man? ????

Tests...hmm.... well....gotta admit i got my "criteria" for whats worked in the past....
and yeah i do have a list of things that spell death for a relationship....... I have to be careful to practice what i preach..... i do need to take may own medicine every once in a while but i do like that.... its all good....

I dont want my blog to be about whats wrong with folks..... i guess it does have that ring to it.....but really its just an expression from my personal experience..... yes its about some people you know personally....hehehehe
I KNOW what real love feels like...and .......... i want it again..so im out there......