whatcha ona bout girl??

whatcha ona bout girl??
A retrospective on the inner workings of love, flying pancakes, mensa disasters, dandelion cookies, number bending, super salt, bubblegum oysters, chicken spit, crystal kidneys, guerilla carrots, polychromatic tofu, paraphysics, tender vigilanties, black sand, phillastine placebos, wood soup, buttered shuttlecocks, apostrophe training, fish whips, bleeding speed, plastic fantastic lobster telephones, venus drug rehab, clowns on fire, kiosks on a leash, marshmello overcoats, bottled light, fried blood, unbridled hyperthyroidism, folding wine, amygdula tickling, fainting in coils, hamburgers for the apocalypse, plastic memes, and conjugal fritters.....well...the love parts true

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Tunnel light, the journal, and the death of a dream


Got a couple of married friends……..for now. They’re …….trying to find a way out. Yeah dude. Death of a dream. The honeymoon is over. Both girls have suffered about 20 years of unhappy marriages. That conditions folks….ya know? My 10 year ………festival of pain was………different than these girls. One girl is wearing the pants in the family. The other girl is smothered. Ya know the type? Take a second. I want those to sink in.
When you ask someone what went wrong……you get a host of different answers. “He cheated. He was hooked on pain killers. He drank all the time. He cheated. He was addicted to porn. He was too controlling. He cheated.”
I should have known my ex and I weren’t compatible …....during our first date. Ready?.......my first missed signal was……she cheated on her boyfriend to go out with me. Yeah……I was NOT paying attention. It was TOTALLY my fault. Not hers. Hehehe. Ready again? She…..fell asleep that first date…….during ……Silence of the lambs. Yeah dude….seriously. I .……either laugh then cry or cry then laugh about it. I sure can pick em!!!! Common sense? FAIL.
I have to insert a bit of trivia here or it will be forgotten forever...... I actually called off our first date......but she never got the message I sent in time and so she showed up. Either way its all good. Gotta bit of seasoning now. So Im OK dude. With all this in mind I run into very few folks that say “boy I sure wish we’d have worked that out”. Now I can’t take credit here.

Somethin' happened along the way
What used to be happy was sad
Somethin' happened along the way
And yesterday was all we had

I have to say I like seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. For me the process of recovering from marriage was easier than my two friends who have a LONG road ahead. That dark tunnel is much longer for one of the two. When you try to point them in the direction of the exit where there’s light …..you get all this….. resistance. Its understandable. You live under the lash of a whip for too long and………. All sorts of things make the way out impossible to get to. A road map in the dark is NO help......and there is .......only the deep pain that comes from being trapped. A locked cage doesn’t offer much in the way of exit signs for someone who’s been beaten down for 20 years. What you find is someone who CANT make decisions…WONT make decisions….or doesn’t EVEN know they can make a decision. So….round and round it goes.
I like lending an ear. I get a lot out of listening more so than talking. When I was getting divorced it was hard to find a sounding board that didn’t come with hollow advice. So I took to making a diary of my thoughts. A kind of journal….. that allowed me to get things off my chest and clear my head. Pen and paper therapy really helped me free up my heart and soul. Its easy to have unresolved issues when theres a break up….. Yes I AM a soooper genius! So I try to tell folks to write down whats going on………I think it helps to detangle a process that for many is chaotic and directionless.
I have to put this in here. Now that the marriage has been over for several years…. Im still having some bad luck! Please don’t take offense if you have any sort of disability…ok? My neighbor is about 35. He’s on welfare… no job……130 lbs…..and has one arm……He also has a 19 year old girlfriend. I MUST be doin sumpin wrong. Oh well….good on him…. Ill just have to stay in the self service isle for now.


And oh, after the love has gone
How could you lead me on
And not let me stay around
Oh, oh, oh, after the love has gone
What used to be right is wrong
Can love that's lost be found?

Bring it……….bring some light…..If your having a hard time seeing you can borrow mine. I like sharing light. It makes me smile. I know you’d do the same for me. There’s light at the end of the tunnel. ……. See ya outside.

31 comments:

Seneca said...

Oh my gosh! Okay. My mom was married three times and my sister married twice...to the same guy. Over my dead body am I going down those paths. I am gonna get it right the first time. I will be happily married. What I am trying to say is by listening to my mom, and reading your blog, I think I am gonna get it right. I will keep both eyes wide open. :D

Mormon Bachelor Pad said...

One arm = 19 year old girlfriend. Awesome.

-j

"Seattle" Heather said...

My parents were married for 30 years before my mothers death. My father has never remarried-had some girlfriends, but I don't think he'll ever remarry. Anyways...I'm the only one in my family on my father's side that has gotten a divorce. And I am the talk of the family. But I think it's cause they can't believe I had the balls to do what I did. I know some of my cousins have made their wives unhappy and they've wanted to leave...but alas their still there. Staying comfortable.
I would rather be alone then in a relationshiip that was making me so unhappy and not trust the person to whom I slept next to at night.

Trey stop looking for love...once you do...it will find you.

SkitzoLeezra said...

<< during our first date . . my first missed signal was……she cheated on her boyfriend to go out with me >>

Sniff sniff, smells a little like the story you told us in October about making out with a chick behind the gym. You've got a thing for the cheaters, huh?

"Seattle" Heather said...

OH and the girl that was hitting on you in the parking lot and she has a boyfriend and you wanted to bump and grind too? I DO see the pattern now that Skitzo brings it to light...Trey...you got a pattern.

Barbarella said...

Trey - you have fabulous teeth. If I may be so bold, when it comes to women, I think you fail to see beyond the tits and ass. Much love xx

Rosangela Taylor said...

Lovely! And you are really good listener/reader!

And I loved, loved, loved your smile in that picture! ;)

"Seattle" Heather said...

What man isn't drawn in by the tits and ass at first? HELLO!!

But I really don't think Trey is that shallow. I just think he's attracted to the *bad* girls. He'll find his Princess. I have faith.

Diane said...

Dude. After Silence of the Lambs, I didn't sleep for a week!

Love that smile :).

Eternally Distracted said...

All those wise words to read on a Friday morning...I vow to always stay awake during silence of the lambs in future, does hiding behind a cushion count?

f1trey said...

@ Seneca- LOL you did have a close call though!!! Im sure youll be fine!!!!

@ MBP- yes If you have just one arm thats great.......:)

@ Heather- Miss heather you are undoubtedly the talk of the family and it has nothing to do with getting divorced! LOL

f1trey said...

@ Schitzo- YOu are NOT allowed to talk to heather! hehehee :)

@ Heather- HEATHER!! hehe Im gonna reflect on this ..I promise!

@ Barbarella- Thanks! Guilty....a bit......

f1trey said...

@ Rose- Thank you ! I know youre havin a rough time so a smile should do just a little something!

@ Heather- just bad russians.... :)

@ Diane- thats good! I watched the prequel the other nite and got a laugh at my own expense!

@ Eternally- welcome! Only if I can hide there too! LOL

The Invisible Seductress said...

You are a BEACON of light Trey!!! You can't help but shine and we get to enjoy the glow!!! See ya in the self service aisle!!!!!! xoxoxo

The Invisible Seductress said...

oh yes---and the smile----SWOOOOOOOOON!!!!!

f1trey said...

@ Invisible- You are so sweet! your peanuts are waiting!

@ Everyone- I really appreciate all your attention.. bashful smile......Im glad that you take the time to hear my ramblings and I DO hope that they have asome meaning for you because its nice to share and I get something from all of you!

"Seattle" Heather said...

Moi? A Bad Russian? (Looks into mirrior) Nope. I'm "innocent". (Evil Roar)

Ily said...

We need more guys like you at the coffee shop on Moms Night Out. lol

UBERMOUTH said...

What a lovely and upbeat post. The disolution of a marriage is hard.

When I split up with my husband I worked as many hours as I could, cried myself to sleep everynight for a year and slept 3 hrs nightly.

Now I'd be too lazy and apathetic for all that. I hope.:)

Just telling it like it is said...

your such a car9ng kind man you give us single girls hope!! You BFF...

tattytiara said...

I'm always floored when people I know decide to break up. It's like I have absolutely no ability to desensitize to that.

f1trey said...

@ Heather- no commrade you make great pickles!

@ Ily- hahaha then it wouldnt be moms night out!!! but Ill take the invite!

@ Uber- LOL thats great! too apathetic to get all worked up! thats great!

@ Just- thinkin about takin up logistics!!!

@ Tatty- Huh.....I kinda take it bit by bit...so0me folks make me relieved theire splittin..ya know?? :)

"Seattle" Heather said...

You leave my pickles out of it! LOL Trey-- I bet in your imgination I have a accent too! LMAO!!!

f1trey said...

@ Heather- seriously??.....I picture you voice as being something that men have always liked the sound of..... true or not?

"Seattle" Heather said...

Well I haven't had any complaints.
:) Don't mind me today. I'm on 3 hours of sleep and I'm a little crazy! LOL And now we're being inspected by the FDA so I"m a little stressed.

SKB said...

Jeepers, love the comments! I think I might've mentioned not taking your own meds recently... ::ahem:: ;) Rather than the lash of a whip keeping me bound to the dream, it was the idea that the dream was a shared dream and that even if there were problems, there would eventually be some self-examination and an effort to get back on track. It's shocking when you find "the one", you're living "the dream", you don't see the bad (be it in the beginning, middle or end) because you don't WANT to see the bad, which is of course crystal clear in hindsight, and the dream up and vanishes in the light of real life. The bad I didn't want to see was that my dream, who I fully expected to be with until I died, talked to me for years behind his sig other's back, had monumental "issues" I knew about before I came along, grasped at me like a drowning man grabing a life vest when we got together, and I, like maybe you, my love, thought IIII was different... WEEEE were different... that the dream was BIG enough. In the end, sometimes the death of the dream is nothing more than working through the reality you've ignored and the grief that comes when you accept that in the end it was JUST a dream, accept it was you who refused to wake up and smell the coffee, and accept that it's long past time to move towards the end of that tunnel. I think I smell the Maxwell House now... =)

P.S. NOT that you need another OUNCE of boost here (heehee), but you do have a nice smile; it crinkles your eyes and I always thought that just makes a face LOOK happy... and there's nothing more attractive than a happy face. =)

Just telling it like it is said...

With that smile don't think you need Logistics!!!

f1trey said...

@ SKB - points to you !! :) hehhe no I dont need more boosting... I have a wonderful bunch of bloggy girls who are alwasy kind and generous with their comments!! I love them!

@ Just- hehehe yes i do!!! thank you!

Kate said...

My parents were divorced as long as I remember. They are so evil to each other I can't ever imagine them married. My dad is serial remarryer - i am so doomed to be divorced....

Kate xx
http://secretofficeconfessions.blogspot.com

wv girl said...

I Love this smile!!!

f1trey said...

@ Kate- LOL oh theres SSOME hope for both of us! hehehehe

@ wv girl- New to blogger huh? get that profile agoin ma lady...thanks for the compliment!!!