Green grass, three wheels, and the college road trip

I want to thank all you girls for being so interested in lending an ear. I like that! Im going to ramble a bit on this post because I want to say a few things and then get off this subject for a while and give everybody a break from me since it’s the holidays!! ….
My first undergrad experience was at a little college where everyone left on the weekends……yeah dude…kids would leave and go to the bigger schools to see how REAL schools partied. Two words dude. Road ……trip. I suppose we wanted to see what the grass was like on the other side. Maybe see something new. Ya know? A chance to get away. To me those all sound like legitimate excuses….. ..I mean….…reasons…..to get out of town. Bottom line it was just a weekend thing. Not permanent. Just a diversion cause…….come Monday…it was back to class. No harm….no foul.
Lately that’s the way I’ve been thinking about……….cheating. I think I mentioned that I’ve seen my fair share of infidelity working as a PI. Now I can’t take credit here.

'Cause I can't make you love me if you don't
You can't make your heart feel something it won't

One time my buddy across the hall BEGGED me to take him to see his girlfriend…….. at Appalachian State. He didn’t have a car and I didn’t have a girlfriend so I said sure…….as long as she set me up so I didn’t feel like a third wheel. SO …..road trip it was……
We get there on Friday and the love birds are………. joined at the hip. My date…….bombed…..so I slept in the car for two nights and days with my books……Honestly it was ok….I was doing my friend a favor and there would be other times for me. Thing was……I think he already HAD a girlfriend…..Uh……dude?..........love….….FAIL. …. Do not pass go….Do not collect 200 dollars. What ARE you doing????
WHY DO GUYS CHEAT? I’ll tell you my take. If you will tell me why you think girls cheat.... Deal?
Me first. The times that I wasn’t on the straight and narrow was when…….I wasn’t really in love. Looking back …we might have gotten along great….but I wasn’t in love and I knew my heart wasn’t in it……and when I started getting butterflies in the presence of another…….well……
Truthfully….the relationship was dead. Even if someone hadn’t come along I would have ended it in a week or so anyway.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
ON THE OTHER HAND. I have heard some pretty weak excuses from guys. (not that mine are reverent) like…. “Im always looking for something better” …WT???…I guess some people are never happy with their own backyard so they eye the neighbors grass.
I’ve seen guys trade DOWN instead of up. Here me ladies ….I will explain this NOW. Please follow ……(these are rules…..to which there are exceptions so excuse the generalities and blanket statements cause its not always the case) Bear in mind some guys cheat because they…have no backbone…or…..think with the wrong body part, etc.etc.
MY experience goes like this……(now please dont get upset because you think im living in 1952...alot of this is fallout from western social history)...Home is sanctuary for men. We are told what to do from 9-5 while at work. Men are defined by their work. Which is important given that women are defined by their life at home. Work is a focus for men (traditionally) and home is a focus for women (traditionally). The SAHM puts her energy there and expects help from her partner as her goals are centered around the house. Enter ….the man. Hes worked all day so far and been told what to do. When he gets home he expects time away from being told what to do because all work and no play makes jack a dull boy. IMMEDIATE CONFLICT. What about the trash? What about helping with the kids? What about the laundry? A woman sees these things as priority. I have bad news.….THESE things are NOT a priority for a man. I hear women all the time say “he wouldn’t know what to do without me”. Don’t fool yourself…Im telling ya…we will just live in squalor. Its not pretty. Its not fun. But it’s the truth. If men thought it a priority they would run home and start doing the laundry. ….
I admit it. Men are taught work skills not home or relationship skills. So we end up neglecting what women think is important.
Funny thing….I did do the laundry and cleaned house until one day I asked her if it made a difference …she said……”no”. I stopped contributing after that…..no remorse….I couldn’t reach her cause she was already gone. So I quit after I realized I was the only one IN the relationship. LOL I frequently say that I worked ON the relationship and she worked on getting OUT of the relationship!! ……..She won!!!
Where was I?
Oh yeah……when home life turns into home work, men will go looking for sanctuary elsewhere…..I suppose that’s the same thing that women do….when the man starts treating them poorly…they look elsewhere. Yeah I‘ve said it before …Im a sooooper genius.
I think there is a difference between cheating and being used though……Its kinda hard for me to dump on some girl who decides to cheat when the hubby is a pile of….&%^*($….my own experience was the ex was a user….now THAT is not cool. A repeat offender even…..very uncool.

Here in the dark, in these final hours
I will lay down my heart and feel the power
But you won't, no, you won't

Bring it………….bring someone with gardening skills.….. I think we can all say we’ve been cheated on……even been on the other side of the fence too. I have always been in love with the thought of 8th grade love though. Ya know? Cheating was never a part of that world…….butterflies…….holding hands……. So yeah I’d trade sleepin in my car in college for that feeling of a first kiss in 8th grade. Pucker up ….buttercup! I need a kiss before I work on the lawn!

New Butterflies, Fidelity, and the jerk

I notice from time to time that Im just NOT like other guys I know……not any better….just….different. When I tell people I have never done any drugs they say “sure”……. When I say girl on girl action does NOTHING for me…..they say “……r……ight”….When I say I don’t control my partner they still look at me funny. Im finding out that control is a common theme for relationships….. not cool…..I have to admit …I DO like being a bad boy and a thrill seeker but control freaks quite frankly……….suck.
I started thinking bout this when…………last week……someone…..kinda sorta…started …..showin me some interest…….hmmmm…very cute…Im startin to grow…… butterflies…....WAIT A MINUTE……she has a ring on…..”aren’t you??.........” ………”yes” ……”O………..K”.
The story is typical …..he cheated…..several times……now he controls where she goes, who she sees, what she WEARS, and she has to call him WHENEVER she gets in a car. He screens the phone bill and she isn’t allowed friends. …….. A perfect marriage. Now I cant take credit here.

Rulers make bad lovers
You better put your kingdom up for sale

In my own marriage I always thought you had to be yellin, screamin and throwing pots and pans to be unhappy…..THAT was the signal that there was trouble in paradise…yeah dude….….WRONG….. I was wrong….as a hollow person it was easy for her to conceal that she was cheating...she just ..acted normal...…I just....never knew……sound familiar?
I heard a statistic on the radio the other day that 35% of HAPPILY married women cheat. Ready???....... 65 % of HAPPILY married men cheat….this is NOT good……Im not happy about this…… AT ALL……I mean ……..what are the percentages of UNHAPPILY married couples that cheat??? JEESH…I talked to a guy friend of mine (who had cheated on HIS NEW bride….with his sister in law no less) and he said …”yeah happiness has nothing to do with me staying faithful……its just.... lust”…. Theyre still together and expecting a child……FR…..IIGGGG!!!!!!! COME …..ON…. MAN!!!! I feel like Mr. Douglas on green acres. Everyone else is nuts and Im the only normal one in town.
When I got divorced I became a PI and started a company called fidelity investigations. I NEVER had a client walk through my door that didn’t have a cheating spouse. NE…..VER. Where was I?
Oh yeah……
Have I always been faithful?.............No. I don’t want to lie and say I’m the ivory tower of honor. There were a few times that youth or weakness got the best of me….I’m not proud of those times…..but I never tried to string two people along……that’s…..just…….evil…dude.
BUT…. I understand why guys want control…… its just that its wrong outside the bedroom. Hear me ladies…men seek control because they have no control over how much their insurance costs…how much they get paid…..when the car breaks down…..Men will take control WHEREVER they can… unfortunately it means badgering their woman because theyre insecure….and women back down to keep the peace.
Being a man means being in control. Be responsible with money, do the laundry and take out the trash…WITHOUT BEING ASKED. Then a woman is at ease to let you be in control under the covers. Nothing is more sexy than a woman who is submissive because she trusts a man to take control of her…..vulnerable to the touch of my hand on your neck when I kiss you or stretching you out and holding your wrists down…….Controlling a woman outside the bedroom does NOTHING for the relationship. You know that and I know that….some people….don’t. To me that signals the END of it.

Is it over now?--do you know how?
To pick up the pieces and go home.

Bring it………..bring some fidelity…. In fact bring a lot of it. Nothing sucks more than being cheated on …..except being cheated on AND controlled…now that REALLY sucks. Its obvious to me that guys will EVEN try to control a woman AFTER the relationship is over!!!! Control……..FAIL.. …I understand why girls think were stupid.…its deserved…..…If you’ve survived having a jerk for a partner…….Im proud of you!......But cut me some slack…I might still want to …....tie you up….....just a little.

The friend zone, Switch flippin and Mikes market

The best relationships that I can remember were the ones that started with friendship. There were ones that turned you into a grinning puppet….And there were the ones that screamed instant lust. When you’re looking for love it’s easy to accidentally undervalue friendship as a starting point. Dude I want the dizziness and butterflies too….dont get me wrong…A blank stare usually means I’m not thinking right. As I get older it seems just as hard to find the treasure of true friends as it is a worthwhile lover. I know there are plenty of folks that will say they’ve had friends stab them in the back but it seems people trust their friends MORE than their lovers…. Ya know??? I mean Im looking for someone who can flip my switch… but really I’m looking for someone who’s a friend that flips my switch. Does that make sense? Now I can’t take credit here.

Ah you’re the best friend
That I ever had
Been with you such a long time
You’re my sunshine

In forth grade Jody and I decided to take our 2 bucks and go to Mikes market on foot. If we went on foot the trip was sure to take a while and dude TWO….count em TWO bucks!!!!…..how would we carry all that loot home???! A perfect summer day. Birds…….crickets…....sun……..no worries…....no schedule……...and then………..Jody SCREAMS!!!!!!! ………..and picks up a five dollar bill!!!!………shoot……..it would take me over a month…….a MONTH to get that kind of allowance….he was jumping up and down and waving it around…..gr..….eat……and then I look down…….another five dollar bill!!!!! OH YEAH DUDE……. We’re jumpin,, we’re singin…….real treasure. We run the rest of the way yelling….FIVE BUCKS !!!! FIVE BUCKS!!!!
So we load up…… ALL the wacky packages, swamp thing comic books, fistfuls of candy bars, 100 pieces of gum (just to be safe)…….trip after trip to the counter….the bounty in piles…….by the time were done… each had a grocery bag FULL….and I mean FULL of sugar. A boy’s bag of dreams. Yeah dude……what sting o diabetes??? I wasn’t sure what diabetes was…..its sounded cool though……I didn’t care I had TREASURE!! Were stuffin our mouths……. before we EVEN leave the store.
This bubble is as big as my head!! OOK!! OOK!...... Itha wecord!!!.....Itha wecord!! We had so much energy it just HAD to be a good idea to jump off the football fields announcers box onto those sponges…..HAD to be. Oh yeah were buzzin……after 30 minutes of flips and funniest look jumps we raised the stakes. What’s better than jumping off???? …ummmm……. Jumping off……. NAKED!!!! Yeah dude……a sugar buzz does strange things……
Trey ….. youre a sooooper genius……I know all this…..yeah that’s true. But I gotta tell ya…..I need reminding myself…cause there have been times I have picked a lover (including my ex wife) that I wouldn’t even have as a friend…..bet you have too…. Fair-weather, short tempered, selfish….........friendship…...FAIL

OOO you’re makin me live
Whenever this world is cruel to me
I’ve got you to help me forgive

Bring it………bring friendship. All the gum in the world means nothing if there’s no one to share it with. We never got caught and the day was as much fun as two friends could have. No bills, No planning, No regrets……. Jody was just a friend…. The kind that you CANT forget and CANT find in the adult world…..
I find people looking for love but not for friends anymore… I guess the friend zone is not the place to get stuck….. I don’t worry about that….I could never stop love from happening when it was right…. The friend zone wasn’t an issue. Since love is built on trust I cant think of a better foundation than friendship. Someone you can laugh ……cry…...trust …..and be yourself with Love and friendship are rare treasures.....….finding both together??????.........priceless……want some gum?

Bombshell Bliss was sweet and gave me an award!!!!

Bombshell Bliss was kind enough to give me an award!! Woo-Woo Thank you! Dancin like snoopy, hehehee dancing like steve martin!! Hehehe
Truthfully I have to say with all my heart I appreciate the thoughts you ladies bring to me. I mean that. There are times when I think Ive sorted out something and there isn’t room for change and BAM!! Somebody hits me with a curve ball!!!! Cool…...If there is something personal that I can help any of you with….please ask….
Now I have the task of giving out awards myself. Which is hard cause I like ALL the blogs I read! Here goes……


http://angietheantitheist.blogspot.com/

Angie has had it rough….and I love a survivors story dontcha know

http://invisibleseductress.blogspot.com/

is a fabulous writer! (she wont tell me her real name) Funnier than a woman should be.

http://bloggerfriendly.blogspot.com/

Kimberly frequently has MAN pictures

http://robyncoffman.blogspot.com/
Is all Heart……. 

http://30andstartingover.blogspot.com/

Heather wants to hit me in my lump head. For a Russian shes pretty cute though…..



Each Superior Scribbler must link to the author & the name of the blog from whom he/she has received The Award.

Each Superior Scribbler must display The Award on his/her blog.

Each Superior Scribbler must post these rules on his/her blog.

Smiling faces, paintin the house, and the social contract

Dilemma dude………but Im gonna let it fly cause truth is best…right?? I SWEAR…… Im EASY to get along with…..EASY cheesy lemon squeezy.......parcheesi....hehehe And I know we all have our differences…..but if you break a social contract with me ……..I…….dont recover. Its harsh…….I……..know……...and I promise that I love being flexible…its just that I have a standard and that standard means DON’T LIE TO ME. Don’t break a social contract. Don’t USE me. Its not negotiable. Now I can’t take credit here.

Smiling faces, smiling faces sometimes
They don't tell the truth

Switch gears here. This is the house I grew up in. Its wooden and yeah Norman Rockwell fantasizes about painting it.
My dad was…..IS ………an asshole. There ….I said it….and yeah I meant it. There was the time he stole this guys brand new Cadillac and hid it……… for a WEEK …..then returned it to the same spot. Just to screw with the guy. One time he came out of a waffle house drunk and asked an officer in the parking lot (for fun) “Do you know where the waffle house is?” …..they locked him up….. Dude……Where in the
world ARE you going with this??
Ok…back to the house….I was in 5th grade and dad says “I need you to help me paint the house”. OK ……Brush….paint…bucket…ladder…..no sweat….until…..”son the ladder wont reach the top……So Im going to get on the roof and tie a rope around your waist” ……..blink……..blink…… “and” ……..”AND WHAT DAD????”.... “don’t worry”……”DON’T WORRY????...Did you JUST tell me?? …that im going to be suspended in mid air ….two floors up..…by a rope…...around my waist..….that youre going to hold…...when you put that beer down…..
……ogodogodogodogod……
All the blood ran out of my head.
Years later…when I tried to tell him that I wish he had been around more when I was young…..he had the ,,,,BALLS…...BALLS to tell me “I wasn’t around so you would learn to do things for yourself”. …Yeah dad.....sure.....Fatherhood…...FAIL.
There was this local girl I was kinda interested in. And she broke our social contract. In the interest of trying to get us together, I would ask her for something specific or even something general. Just to set up getting to see her again. Every time we got together she always had an excuse as to why she wasn’t able to “look something up” or “ask her friend” or “read what I gave her”. Yeah dude…… Always….. we would see each other several times a week and she was getting more amorous every time.But she NEVER followed up on ANYTHING I asked. She didnt even follow up on things she asked my opinion on!!!! She liked the attention she was getting but I was actually getting pissed off. I did whatever she requested and she.....dropped the ball. That lightbulb went off and I completely refused to even look at her in public. No explanation from me AT ALL. The end. Finito….. O…....VER. Break a social contract and I admit it….I ……don’t do well with that. And dont expect me to give you a road map on what you did to screw it up. Youre How old?
The same happened to another girl in town. She started cattin around….and I admit it….she was cute…lemme tell ya….and everytime we communicated she said she would look at my blog. Which I suggested was a good way to get to know me if you didn’t know ANYTHING. Well….. having looked at my visitors I could tell she was just giving me lip service….she would troll me for the attention…for weeks …..WEEKS…. dude!…..then give me lip service, every time, promising me she would look. Eventually I stopped acknowledging her too. I really hate to sound like a shit and I DON’T like to treat people with disrespect but………FRIG!!!! …Its hard for me to feel bad when I get trolled. When I realize Im getting trolled I cut your net. Don’t tell me your looking for love then throw out your net and troll. I don’t CARE if you get pissed off that I cut your net. I don’t want to play “string Trey along”. Im gonna change the rules abit and see how you like playing “Treys gonna ignore you for life”…. I know ……Im a kill joy. But I can’t stand a bait and switch….... I have a wedding album and paid off credit cards to prove it. Trolling for attention and I will NOT bite. I might consider grabbing the line and pulling you out of the boat instead......Ever met someone who says they HATE drama…..and their life is FILLED with it???? That’s fine………...just…….…. keep your distance.

Smiling faces, smiling faces
Tell lies and I got proof

Bring it………..bring a social contract we can all live with. A bad marriage taught me what not to do. A bad father taught me what a good father should be. I guess there are lessons to be learned everywhere. Make no mistake I cant always keep my end of the bargain…. But the older I get….the happier I am with the contracts I make. Now….….where do I sign?

Online dating, strip poker, and killin dinner

Im gonna say I’m lucky. Yeah dude……lucky……. Well…with most things that is…… playin the lottery is NOT my thing, and my last trip to the dog track was nothing short of a disaster, and I confess…….. Im not a card player…..although I would love some lessons…..
I cant say blessed….just lucky…cause I’ve had some good relationships in the past…..and I’m grateful for that….cause there are times when love isn’t around….. I mean….. I have my health….. Seriously dude…..
This is a picture of my local matches from an online dating site…….Like I said…I’ve got my health……….Now I can’t take credit here.

You got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em,
Know when to walk away and know when to run.

Some things just ARENT meant to be. Im good with that. Im still a lucky man. I’ve tasted love and know how good that feels…..I have a feeling there are waaayy too many people who never get their shot. Now THAT would stink. Big time……Weathering times by yourself because the love train isn’t stopping is one thing…..but to NEVER get a ride is……….well……. not pretty. Like I said …I’m lucky.
I’m a man. In my world I have to prepare for times when I’m unlucky. A REAL man doesn’t trick a woman into sleeping with him. He doesn’t make her feel guilty. He doesn’t control her or make her feel trapped to get what he wants. A lucky man is patient when he’s unlucky in love. You can’t just……..trick it into happening.
Men by nature jump up and down and yell. Ya gotta remember that for the last ten thousand years, we’ve been getting up at dawn and going out to kill dinner. All those characteristics we bring home when the hunt is over.
I was at the gym and this girl brought her two kids….. a son and a daughter.…every thirty seconds she was chastising the son for climbing around on things and the daughter just sat in the corner. She said “I wish he was as good as her” as she yanked him around the gym. FAIL. Five hundred years ago he would be out with his dad……tracking down dinner all day…not sitting in a chair. That is NOT his nature. At no point in time did a native Indian dad say “son……..sit on this rock for the next SIX hours and be still……and pay attention to the old lady over there talking about foreign policy and atomic structure……..we’re gonna do this every day this week….and at the end of the week Im gonna test you on what you remember.” FAIL X2 Boys like to throw rocks…We’re good at it… ....cut us some slack please. We're wired differently and its important for you to understand why we do what we do....Just like you really wish he would get that you sometimes just want to be held....
I will admit we still need your help. What we need your help with is how to bring you the relationship you want. I hear women criticize men all day long about how stupid we are. I gotta tell ya…. I NEVER hear a guy complain that women throw rocks like a girl. Do you?
Just for the record….I am NOT doing the online dating thing. I set up a profile just to let my beautiful followers know…….. I’m better off in this town by myself……..

You never count your money when you're sittin' at the table.
There'll be time enough for countin' when the dealin's done.

Bring it………. Bring some good luck………Life is tough on people these days. And for some it’s probably a comfort to smoke, or eat, or sit on the couch to get through the tough times. I think that’s an empty solution. You wouldn’t want your man to run to a bottle or spend your paycheck on some heroin would you? The good times are easy. It’s the hard times that test you. Yeah Trey, You’re a sooooper genius…..I guess my point is its important to measure your man by how he acts when times are tough. That will tell you something important about his character. It’s hard to feel safe around a loose cannon I should think…….. I don’t mind the downtime…… I would rather wait for my luck to change rather than place a bad bet. Maybe I should take up……...strip poker. You know what they say…….. unlucky at cards……

Retraining, building love town, and a field of dreams

Yeah dude….. its done….its up…….she got it up….. its perfect….really strong…tall…. Yeah it works……really well ……that wall is NOT going anywhere…… it looks good…. She should be happy with that….yeah dude….no WAY anybody’s getting past THAT…….been workin on it for years…..NOBODYS getting IN….or….. OUT of this place. Guaranteed.
Ok…. So ….I get the call….. “I want love”…… ok…that’s a good start……”but when someone gets close the walls go up” …sigh…....so…..you don’t want love????.... Oh … I see….. you want love but your not available…….hmmmm… maybe I DON’T see….Now I can’t take credit here.

Told myself I'd get by without love
Drownin' my sorrows
Avoiding tomorrows
Kind of felt that I just had enough

If you build it…they will come……WRONG….. field of dreams indeed….if you build it……they will ………surely be scared off. I wish I could say baseball was my thing…sorry…...FOOTBALL it is then…..
Its preseason and I have taken some time off from lower body training…. So… I need ….retraining. My upperbody is good to go dude but working legs ……is NOT fun.
Ive been avoiding this and avoiding this as long as I dared… ..so I started back last week. IM…….sore……. this is good….really……A few weeks from now and the power will come back. My body WILL remember. Its that first few weeks that’s a killer. Incidentally…… ladies…..Get your man to work his lower body…..not cardio….. I mean leg iron….…seriously. His butt, legs and lower back are the largest muscles in the body…if you see a guy with developed legs…….his endorphin/testosterone level are THROUGH the roof. Wink Wink.
One thing is certain……… I won’t play well unless I get off ma butt and start leg pressing. I can’t have it both ways. Wow, such great information Trey……ya gonna say sumpin worthwhile??? I know I can’t have walls up and find love…….thats common sense….. Duh……Well…sometimes people miss the obvious…. Myself included. Lately my bloggy friend girls have been saying some nice things about me and I want you to know I appreciate that…...its nice to be heard!!!!….….small smile….but I do my best to look in the mirror and sometimes I need a bit of retraining….
So….we talk a while and its obvious…….she wants her cake and she wants to eat it too…..she wants love but she’s got the walls up…..fan….tastic…….no deal….no dice…. The walls keep you IN and everyone else OUT……What if you met a guy and his walls were up? ….…well??......If youre unavailable then don’t think you’re gonna go far in love town…..
Ive had my heart stomped…….. yeah dude …….serious pain. My own words to another were that she had to

“trash the memory of true love instead of finding a way to mend what you had accidentally messed up. From there you shot it, cut it up, beat it, ran over it, set it on fire, and then blew it up.”

And here I am
I'm back on my feet again

Bring it………..bring the demolition crew. Building a wall is EASY in love town. The hard thing is to keep one from going up. But that’s the ONLY way love will come back to you. You have to be available. You have to open your heart.. Its not a debate. I see good people in 24 hour self preservation mode. En…....joy. You build a wall…. And you will live there by yourself. You build a wall…….and YOU have to take it down. Yeah I need a bit of retraining myself…….it is the offseason……..…..But I plan on playing again. DOWN………...SET…………