whatcha ona bout girl??

whatcha ona bout girl??
A retrospective on the inner workings of love, flying pancakes, mensa disasters, dandelion cookies, number bending, super salt, bubblegum oysters, chicken spit, crystal kidneys, guerilla carrots, polychromatic tofu, paraphysics, tender vigilanties, black sand, phillastine placebos, wood soup, buttered shuttlecocks, apostrophe training, fish whips, bleeding speed, plastic fantastic lobster telephones, venus drug rehab, clowns on fire, kiosks on a leash, marshmello overcoats, bottled light, fried blood, unbridled hyperthyroidism, folding wine, amygdula tickling, fainting in coils, hamburgers for the apocalypse, plastic memes, and conjugal fritters.....well...the love parts true

Monday, March 29, 2010

No Love ration, No round 3, and no 7 second hug

Yeah dude……it was bound to happen. I turn the corner and ..…..she is there. Its her. No question. I …….STOP and the world goes quiet …….. her back is to me and it takes me a moment. I start walking….silently……. up to her. Her blond mane spilling down her back……blue jeans……. painted to perfection. One foot….. dancing on her shopping cart. She is…….on the phone and I stop seamlessly behind her.
She turns in mid sentence…… her beautiful brown eyes swell and I see her breathe in deep and she smiles without control. Her conversation…….stops because she …isnt thinking. I smile down at her and we are both …..speechless.
The moment is perfect silence and I say nothing. She is stunning to view. Her eyes, instantly soft and longing ….. no effort between us…instant comfort…. she gazes…… and stutters on the phone.

The world comes crashing in …....and she laughs ……trying to compose herself.

I slowly back away and motion that its ok. My smile….. big and genuine says everything. Hers does too. Now I can’t take credit here.

Shot through the heart and you're to blame
Darlin' you give love a bad name

Relax . There wont be a round three. I kept the smile……. And walked away. Yeah dude….made ma point. Been played before. You only get ONE shot at that. Ya know? Its not all about good looks….besides shes……still taken. Yes I am a sooooper genius. I had a fellow coworker say a 7 second hug is the most effective (Maybe I shoulda tried that!).
The world of intimacy for a man is….different than that for a woman…. I need some schoolin on what women desire. But I’ll do my best to demystify some things if ah can……I cant say its ALL easy to hear…or that’s it’s the ONLY side of the coin….but I will say its JUST an opinion…….just like the earth is round is JUST an opinion.
Lemme say that sex isn’t the only dimension to a mans world……. But I gotsta tell ya…its UP there. If you THINK its not…….your wrong. Some men I am sure can have what they consider a satisfying relationship without intimacy.…but I just couldn’t live as an accountant. I’ll go so far as saying that’s unhealthy/abnormal. It’s the same whether your plumbing is indoor or outdoor.….if your intimacy level is UNABLE to budge from the trashcan… you only have a dysfunctional relationship (and even THAT’S questionable). Do NOT be shocked when the NOTHING you have….. falls apart. If you think you can…..just…. SLOWLY train him not need intimacy but every once in a while n “he seems ok with it”… your foolin ONLY yourself. ….I’m sorry that’s not what folks want to hear. Meh….I dunna care if that’s seems critical, shallow, short sighted, or judgmental….. but tell me your relationship is satisfying without it and I’ll call you a liar. Either unwilling or unable to self evaluate the pleasure your missing. It may be my opinion…… but its YOUR loss. Yeah dude another blanket statement from a sooooper genius.


Isnt life tough enough as it is? Hahaha …..wait……what?
I ACTUALLY had a partner ask me “how much time do you need?” …….Romance? FAIL. It made me sad…..she wanted to know how little time was required for me to be satisfied. I said “if that’s your perspective …. I wouldn’t worry about it. Find someone else to answer that for you”.
Gunna put the shoe on the other foot…….
What if I had said….”how little affection and caring do you need to consider this a relationship? Can you get by with just a teeny amount?”
If you are going to RATION the quality AND quantity of physical intimacy you offer your partner……what do you expect to get in return for your efforts in being the best roadblock to love EVER?????? Well?
Physical intimacy is communication for a man. If you cut that off….he will go elsewhere to communicate. If you think that’s an exaggeration….oh……..you already experienced that …huh?
"COME ON TREY!!!.....sex isn’t communication for a guy….thats silly”…….
How happy would you be if I cut off your communication and put a piece of duct tape over your mouth…. Oh you can take it off once every 5 days …when im not too tired…and don’t have a headache….for a couple of minutes. You gunna be satisfied with that or what?
you feelin me?
Gonna go a step further….what if youre not CONCIOUSLY being distant…its just that you don’t have the time (or energy) to find out what makes you OR your lover tick? That’s it?....Are you serious?......
That works about as well as me sayin “I don’t have the time, energy or money to take you to dinner or shopping ….an don’t even think about me givin you a hug or help clean up”….how you like me now?......In my book it makes no difference whether you run into the road or just lay down to get run over. The result is the same. Last time I heard….. laziness still gets an F. Congrats…...youve earned it. No effort……and youre reward is……. the sound of crickets dying. I double dog dare you to argue with me about this…if this isn’t so, we’ll just put it to the test. Cut your partner off n call me five years. Ahm willin ta bet youre reward will be the finest match.com has to offer.

ENOUGH TREY!!! I GOTS IT!! …ok….said ma piece.

Where was I?
Oh yeah…..
The tango is not solo. Stampeding cattle on the tracks of the love train is a two person deal. Peace. I confess…… Im guilty too.
Consider this…….selective hearing is only half the coin.. …selective speaking can be just as damaging…..ifn ya don’t ask any questions……..then WHY are you expecting any answers? Some doctors say “if you dont hear from me ….then everythings fine”. Chuh…..that philosophy worked really well for my marriage. “Honey….if you dont hear from me….. everythings fine”. Enter……Divorce.
I’m not much of a man unless I understand YOUR priorities…. And support you without question. I like bringing out the best in my lover. You better plan on doin the same cuz I wont take less. When I say “I get you” ….I want you to feel that connection that someone loves and cares…..if you have OTHER plans…. Keepa gittin it…

An angel's smile is what you sell
You promise me heaven then put me through hell

Bring it………..bring it only when your hearts ready. If your taken…..stop trying to bring it. I want you all to myself or not at all.
I DO want your head on my chest and for you to feel safe and secure when I pull you close. If you tell me youd rather watch CSI…..Ill pass..…theres enough dead bodies in here already. I STILL don’t want to be known as the undertaker of love. Lifes too short. Ya know?


Christiejolu said...

Ok so here is my take on this. I was with a guy for a while. I am a woman who enjoys sex. I will seek it as a matter of fact. Now this ex of mine complained if I wanted sex. So he only wanted it when he did. Ok I obliged. He didn't help with anything, didn't take the dog out because it wasn't "His" dog didn't help with the diapers because he "Shouldn't be looking at our daughters stuff" So it got to the point for me that I didn't seek sex any longer and no longer wanted to be obliging. Sure he bought gifts and brought food home, but to me that is easy. I need a partner in and out of the bedroom. And you are right we are no longer together. Mostly my doing. He was an ass. LOL!

"Seattle" Heather said...

I want to start a petition that Trey must get a digital camera! No more fuzzy photos! Ladies whose with me???????!?!!!!!!!!

Just telling it like it is said...

I hear you...I wish I was that strong...I made a drive by pantie drop yesterday at logistic guys house...what is wrong with me?

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The Invisible Seductress said...


there will be no question when it is right...It will just be right....

That's what THEY say anyway...

Until then maybe experiments could be fun.


Danielle said...

Intimacy is a huge part of a relationship. That means mentally and physically to me.
I 2nd Seattle Heather!

Linda Medrano said...

You know, the right combo has to be there, or it just does not work for me. Sex, sure, but understand when I'm too tired and I'll understand the same from you. If I'm upset about something, be interested in what it is. If you're hurt, I'll fix you. Do the same for me. I'll be your best friend if you'll be mine. Let's cook together and clean up together. How's that for a fun eve? it works for me!

f1trey said...

@ CJ- Guys will do that..... some have a hard time letting the girl be in charge.... so they turn it down when you initiate it...not good.....

@ Heather- oh man..... :)

Just telling it like it is said...

Okay here it is in a nut shell about a month ago logistic guy still wanted to be on match...so I left him high and dry...after going back on match and finding some stalkers...I figured it best when I found out he missed me and was a little mad...I figured I would pop over fro a scrub and buff...I'm still dating other guys...I just don't like to sleep around...and I don't care any longer what he does...got it?

Kimberly said...

When did sex become an issue? Yeah its important but if two peeps love each other --- then there should be no issues.

Seneca said...

I agree. Well. Within the bonds of marriage. :D

f1trey said...

@ Just- please contact me on facebook..... ahma not likin these developments :(

@ asian script person- %$*%^)!@$%^@&%$&&@$&^&

@ Invisible- cant send you bus fare cause who would watch the kids?

@ Danielle- yeah baby-thats the way to go!!!

@ Linda- Suweet..thats the way its done right...kudos...

@ Kimberly- Email me ...we gots work....WTF..whats the latest? you wearin that ring or what?

@ Seneca- right on darlin...you keep the faith.... i got high hope for you!

SkitzoLeezra said...

I'm gonna be a big square and recommend an old relationship book that opened my eyes to the communication differences between men and women. "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus". It's not about games; it's about asking for what you want in a way that will be heard. You can probably get it from your library and perhaps on CD or download if that works for ya.

Just telling it like it is said...

it was only for a romp in the hay that is it...I couldn't find you on face book...look for me by my email address
and I am always safe!