whatcha ona bout girl??

whatcha ona bout girl??
A retrospective on the inner workings of love, flying pancakes, mensa disasters, dandelion cookies, number bending, super salt, bubblegum oysters, chicken spit, crystal kidneys, guerilla carrots, polychromatic tofu, paraphysics, tender vigilanties, black sand, phillastine placebos, wood soup, buttered shuttlecocks, apostrophe training, fish whips, bleeding speed, plastic fantastic lobster telephones, venus drug rehab, clowns on fire, kiosks on a leash, marshmello overcoats, bottled light, fried blood, unbridled hyperthyroidism, folding wine, amygdula tickling, fainting in coils, hamburgers for the apocalypse, plastic memes, and conjugal fritters.....well...the love parts true

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Torturetown, the goalie, and a chair is still a chair


Oh dude…..the neighbors up the street were HARD to associate with….I’m pretty sure they wanted it that way. Im telling you……this bunch put the dysfunctional in dysfunctional family. So uptight, never outside, no emotion….they had a daughter; she went to an all girl’s school and met a few girlfriends there. So…….I was out of the picture as far as a love interest goes. But the parents……they didn’t even like each other!!!!!!….it must have been miserable to live in torturetown like that….The house was lifeless and quiet and so was their marriage. Now I can’t take credit here.

A chair is still a chair, even when there's no one sittin' there
But a chair is not a house and a house is not a home
When there's no one there

Yeah dude….its depressing….I think a lot of married couples struggle. Yeah…. Im a soooper genius. I see a lot of people unhappy in their singleness, pining for someone to complete themselves. Agonizing over lost love….whats the goal here??? Do you want to be married….or happy?? Do you want a successful relationship or a failed marriage???
Well???........
I think women have a lot more to lose than men when a marriage fails because they have usually invested more time in the fantasy of marriage rather than the reality of a relationship. HEAR ME…..when girls are playing house and dolls …guys are throwing rocks at trees…….You want to be a good mom….we want to be good at throwing rocks at trees. You want to raise a family…we want to be good at throwing rocks at trees. Its even clear that the marriage ceremony is the woman’s day….a mans responsibility is……show up and don’t be drunk. Doesn’t that tell you something? It speaks to ME!!! You can put the relationship in the toilet…suffer abuse…..sometimes even cheating…but as long as you stay MARRIED….I hear women speak of marriage as “the goal” … If that’s your goal then I might as well be a goalie. The goal is a healthy happy relationship. A mans measure is whether he is marriage material?????? No wonder girls are pissed off……look at the guy sitting next to you…….has he spent his life preparing to be a husband and father???? An unhappy marriage might as well be a prison of failure. Parole is sounding PRETTY good……

When I climb the stairs and turn the key
Oh, please be there, sayin' that you're still in love with me,

I admit it…guys want to be good at throwing rocks…no where in the rock throwing manual does it say DON’T yell and write down all your checks.
Bring it…..…bring the right priorities. Happy people make happy relationships (and marriages). Guys are sorrowfully lacking in understanding what it means to be a good husband and lover. Being dark, mysterious and a bad boy doesn’t make me an ideal catch but Im lucky….its taken me a long time to get that a woman needs to feel safe and secure. Im willing to bet that women can be just as unprepared for the hardship of marriage too because the fantasy comes first while the reality of communication, compromise and marital strife gets swept under the carpet.
Hand me some rocks will ya??

23 comments:

The Romantic Seul said...

O laws, he's got his Norman Rockwell on again...

"Seattle" Heather said...

You make a very good point. I read a paper that someone was writing about the differences between male & female. And how we as a society set woman up for that dream. We give them baby dolls and bottles. Play kitchens and Ironing boards. We set them up for the dream of one day getting married and being a wife. While for little boys they play army men, throw rocks at trees, play sports...
Then you get the harsh reality of how things really are when you are older. That your dream is a lot of hard work and dedication. Trust and respect. Its not easy, it takes work. And only the strong will survive.

f1trey said...

@ Heather- YES YES YES......tell that man to get you a ring quickly!!!!! hehehe

f1trey said...

@Romantic Seul- Lawdy Miss Claudie!!! Luthor VAndross doenst stand a chance if you are going to argue with stevie wonder.....Stevie ...sit down....stevie???where'd he go???stevie!!! running outside STEVIIIEE!!! ogodogodogod STEVIEEE!!! running now......"maam have you seen.....oh never mind".... he couldnt have gone too far..STTTEEVVIEEEE!!

Kimberly said...

Marriage is not my goal. Happiness followed by wholeness is my goal. But society says to girls, women - get married, settle down, start a family and it starts at a very early age

"Seattle" Heather said...

Oh God No! I'm NEVER getting married again. He can buy me jewelry if he wants but I'm not walking down any aisles or saying I DO ever again. NoPE. Once was enough.

Its sad when your lawyer bill costs as much as your wedding...hence I'm still paying for the divorce.

Amy said...

Hey, Trey...I know you've only visited my blog once or twice (thank you for the visits and the comments, too, by the way), but you seem to get it...this whole marriage,dating, relationship thing. Wow. I'm impressed. A man who gets it.

Will you marry me? :)

Amy

Miss Angie said...

So true! I have a cousin who is married with two beautiful children. I recently stayed with them when I went to California and they really seem to hate each other. She's sure he cheated, and keeps trying to figure out if she could leave him even though some part of her says she loves him... Mostly it's staying together for the children.

I tried to tell her, "Would you rather raise your children in two separate households or one that they grew up thinking this was a functional relationship?" I think staying together just for the children is wrong.

I also think getting married for the sake of being married is wrong. Yes, it's a business agreement, but the real goal here is to be happy and healthy, and find someone you can spend a lifetime with. Why rush into vows when you can enjoy the process and just be in love?

The Romantic Seul said...

Good lord. I really was raised on another planet. I thought it was just my imagination. At least I bleed in red like everyone else. :phoning home:

f1trey said...

@ Kimberly- your a fighter......i dont expect youto walk a path of medicocrity.....peace darlin
@Heather- I understand...i said the same thing for a long time....and i still feel its justified.....time will tell...I hope you got to keep the first ring!

f1trey said...

@ Amy- hahaha thats sweet! Im working on it.....I would marry you but I hate standing in long lines!!!
@ Miss Angie- YOU GOT IT!! WOW!! preach baby preach!!!!
@ Romantic Seul- You can use my phone but I wont let them take you back......

Amy said...

My break ends after labor day.

"Seattle" Heather said...

Of course I kept that ring Trey, I earned it. :) Why would I give it back to him? So his Mistress could walk around with my Carats on her finger? NO WAY! I'm going to turn it into my Divorce Ring. :) ha ha ha

f1trey said...

@ Amy- You silly!

f1trey said...

@Heather- LOL good...My bad...I forgot about the shoe wench......I wont bring it up again!

Amy said...

epidemiology, infectious disease and public health research. Good times. Good times.

f1trey said...

@Amy- youre not like...out asking prostitutes questions ....and stuff ...are you?? I dont want you bringing that stuff home!!

f1trey said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Diane said...

Man, I'm totally takin' some rock throwin' lessons.

Diane said...

LOL... thanks for the vote of confidence... but I think you might have missed the entire FIRST part of that post ;)

Amy said...

oh, you mean when we're married...no prostitutes, but I do ask physicians and other health care providers a lot of questions....

April said...

I had a goal to be married by 25. I completed that goal. I was divorced by 28.

I think people get married for the wrong reasons. Also, I think that men would be more excited about the actual wedding if society didn't make brides into bridezillas. There's so much in the media about having big, lavish, unique weddings. People spend so much money on the damn wedding that they're in debt for the next 25 years! Ridiculous.

Getting married isn't about the wedding. I think men get that. When a man wants to marry a woman, it's because he wants to marry a woman. Not because he wants 24 of her "best friends" to spend $500 each on buttercream yellow dresses that they'll never wear ever again. Or to have 5 of his buddies spend 4 hours getting fitted for a tux and experiencing the bride berate them for the bachelor party stripper they hired. (although it was probably worth it)

In my opinion the sanctity of marriage has become very skewed and is not the institution it once was.

Great post! I think you hit the nail on the head. Although, when I was a girl, I threw rocks at the trees with the boys rather than playing with dolls. =)

f1trey said...

@ April- you speak the truth.......You werent throwin any rocks in the back of that bronco in the high school parking lot!!! hehehee

In 50 years society will only have memories of the picket fence and marital fantasy....women will not instill the same nonsense for their own kids.....
However..its whats happening now that concerns me.... people want love and companionship but still have NO clue how to get it.....Im one of those people who has they key but no one will show me where the door is...because they dont know.....modern life is hard ...its sad that people want so desperately to be in love but alwasy put the relationship (or the marriage) on the back burner...theres no denying it....