The fickle mistress, video game love and the romance king

Yeah dude….spring is soooo close. So Im out…….. pushin the prowler and draggin the sled. Gotta new titan fury bench shirt which is rockin. My eye right now is on the April State championship which is coming none too soon cause I still have some room to put on weight for the meet but am anxious to lose it for football (and the summer….my blood pressure is running high). Gotta a new neck roll to put on my pads and someone stole my forearm guards last year so I gotsta get some new ones. Patience dawg ………all in good time.

You must remember this
A kiss is still a kiss
A sigh is just a sigh

As time goes by indeed. Small smile…..Lemme say right now ahm in a good place so…..on to other things…..

Had a liftin buddy tell me he was at this bar, started talking to a girl and they hung together all night …great conversation…they got along really well….at the end of the night he asked her out and she said

No

He asked why and she said “your nice, good looking, got a good job, and love your mother…….theres nothing for me to fix.”

Y…..eah.

Did I mention I have lots of……emotional….I mean ….drug problems??????....I know you’re not believin that so ………please feel free to pick some social disorder that makes me endearing. Trey Logan….you…are a soooooper genius.

Hehehe. But make no mistake……..

Easy goin ……I am

Easy……Im not.

Had just one more instance of almost getting punked by a fickle mistress. What is it with young girls these days??? I put the kibosh on the whole thing when I flatly told her “I wasn’t built to go along with all this “gimme attention, let me show all my friends how easy and desperate this guy is for me, watch me not really care……. then disappear and prove I can get lots of attention to feed my ego and not really have to work for it” ……thing……. that’s apparently sweeping the nation.”

Hehe she got the picture.

I think all this sexting n what not that girls do is the cowards way of pretending to have a relationship…because they cant in the real world. Does that make sense? Its safe to text…you cant get hurt that way……..uh…hello? You cant even have a relationship that way.

As a sidebar: I realize Im not the brightest guy….but I have run into too many women that get willy dilly wing nut pictures sent from guys camera phones. For the life of me I cant see how this is anything but stoopid in a “your dumb” kinda way. It may even certify you as a moron.

How does this work exactly???? Im with the guys at the bar….the good looking blond walks by. My buddy says he has her phone number and…..

“Ive got it! I got a great idea!! Im going to go in the bathroom, TAKE A PICTURE OF MY DICK………and send it to her!”

“Dude…you?..... are the undisputed romance king of the entire world.

This is going to be my relationship advice for guys from now on. “Trey, man I really like this girl and….”

“Stop right there. I know exactly what to do. Just…..trust me on this. Go in the bathroom, TAKE A PICTURE OF YOUR DICK and send it to her…. You don’t have to put a caption in but maybe something sweet like “I was thinking of you …and heres the proof”.

It shows her that you respect her. That you cherish her, that she’s wonderful and you love her so much that you want to………. send her a picture of your dick. Yeah…Im sure that’s what shes thinkin. I can hear her friends now.

“Awwww….. he really respects you and cherishes you, thinks your wonderful and loves you so much he ……….. sent you a picture of his dick.”

Think of it…….You can celebrate 60 happy years when on your wedding anniversary maybe he can send a picture of his 80 year old dick to remind you how lucky you are. Ah…….heaven.

Where was I ?

Oh yeah…..

If your courtship is all on your cell phone …you can keep your distance ….your independence. You don’t have to worry about falling in love….its more like a video game. Although for the life of me I cant see how its all that satisfying when you lay down to sleep and cuddle up to your phone.

And of course I’d appreciate it if youd stay the………. HELL away from me.

I would much rather hold your wrists and bite your ear so you can concentrate on grinding the way that makes you go BOOOM…..rather than type the words “U R hot”. Send……… When the time comes do you really want to text your BFF …..OMG the BF texted me “will you marry me?”

Got a text the other day from a girl……I could hardly contain my excitement. It said “are you fun” she didn’t even type the question mark. Needless to say I jumped all over that………

Texting just…..doesnt do it for me. Your walls stay up, your safe, everything’s intact because nobody can get through the walls you’ve built up if all you do is text. You hear that a lot from people. How proud they are of their independence.

“Im very independent”.

Congrats.

You just talked yourself out of a relationship.

That’s not how it works. I bet on you. You bet on me. No other deals can be made to get aboard the love train. I want your head on my chest in pure comfort……..not my cell phone.. When you get up I want that feeling to still be with you…..if you leave and take your independence with you….….keep going.

I may want to be a good partner but people seem to mistakenly think that translates that Im an easy catch…....wrong…… smile or not bad boys don’t kill easy……...and I HATE being underestimated……so yeah you kinda need you’re A game ….not your game……cause I’ve had my share of girls who thought you were privileged to be with them. Hehe. Enjoy…you can have em…….small smile. Contacted one of them just to say if she ever needed an ear she shouldn’t be afraid to call and I would listen. Not sayin that was the smartest thing Ive ever done. But I still have a soft spot for good memories.

The response?

No response.

Hehehehe No surprise.

Good deed? PASS. Big brains? FAIL.

Hehehehe s’all good……. I like doing something good….even without the prospect of a reward…….small smile.

The fundamental things apply
As time goes by

Bring it………..bring some old fashioned romance. It may be old school…..but I graduated baby!!

The hook up bus, winter lemonade, and the chrome sales department

Now is the winter of our discontent…… otherwise known as preseason. Sorry dude…Im being melodramatic. Other than the permanent blanket of snow up past my car door my winter is good. Small smile. Actually the snow doesn’t bug me at all. I just agree with everyone who says theyre sick of it. Yeah dude winter lemons make lemonade. Some Vodka, mostly grapefruit juice, a little lemonade, a dash of wink and Im good to go. Better still if you haven’t shared bourbon, hot tea and a cinnamon stick on a cold night ……please rethink your liquid menu. Now I can’t take credit here.

I am I am I said I'm not myself
But I'm not dead and I'm not for sale
Hold me closer, closer let me go
Let me be, just let me be

Trippin on a hole in a paper heart indeed. True that. Watch your step. Hehehe. Had a friend tell me he heard in a seminar that women want emotional security and financial security ……. Men want sex and praise. Ahm afraid I’ll have to buy that…..even if it is a blanket statement. Whatcha think?

I just read an article that outlined both young married and unmarried couples as not agreeing that they do or don’t have a monogamous commitment….or when they did have one ….they didn’t adhere to it.

Im not sure that’s a good sign for any of us looking for the love train.

I liked being in a committed relationship. If you discount my marriage. LOL Make no mistake Im all for marriage when it’s a good choice but I heard a comedian say the other day he just got engaged then looked up the definition which said “engage…..to confront the enemy”.

The love train doesn’t stop at every street corner……that’s the hook up bus…anybody can ride the hook up bus…..….you can have ALL the worthless hook ups you like. Hehehe

A hook up is ………..easy.

A relationship is……..hard.

But ah gotsta tell ya. Id rather have a relationship.

I have to admit I do like younger women….but Im finding out we don’t have the same ……..viewpoint when it comes to building a relationship……it seems that …….hovering close to solvency is preferred these days. I suppose theres nothing to lose when you don’t even gamble. Theres also nothing to gain. I read where younger folks only think of relationships as temporary anyway…because their roll models on tv break up all the time….as well as their parents…so they figure that’s the norm.

Im glad I don’t watch too much TV. Well…….except ……Jersey Shore.


Where was I?

Oh yeah….

A friend of mine was telling me about reading some theory called “in the meantime”. This is where women will pretend to be involved with some guy but never really open up because they believe “the imaginary prince charming they have in their head …….is down the road…………somewhere”. So theyre saving themselves.

BUT…..in the meantime……..

Is this kinda why girls stay with guys with sex addictions, drug and chronic lying problems????

Its safe because your not actually in love..…its ok hes a loser because….your just filling time. Because youre sure theres some guy you haven’t met that’s rich and humble, good looking, honest, funny, and never been married, that would give you anything you want and everything he had. LOL its kinda hard to win your heart when Im up against Aston Schwartzenegger Trump Banderas ……especially when he doesn’t even exist.

I do hate the thought of just….spinning my wheels in the wind……especially if it turns out its just entertainment for some girl with a sales plan…….. Interesting. I wonder if these same folks that spew and swallow the dating game understand its gonna SUUUUUCK in thirty years…..when theyre alone. I mean….your looks are nice……but what I really care about is whether you love me……cause I want to be there when everyone else is gone…….and I just might want you to fix us some biscuits in the morning and ill fix the popcorn at night when we cuddle for tv. To me that’s more important than say…….really being able to hold your own in a tequila drinking contest.

However……. I do loves me some tequila. Maybe theres a chance for both aye? But …..my mad drinking skills aren’t half as valuable as my desire to care for you when you need attention……..25 years from now.

Lemme say if Im going to do something I wanna freakin hit the ceiling with my kahones blazing. If theres anything left……..you can keep the change. Read that lately too. Women are willing to sacrifice first place for stability. Men………aren’t. We want that brass ring….. regardless of the cost. Seriously I think the best partner is one who knows how to get both …..and that means knowing when to push and when to give….. how else am I going to bring out your best????

Football training is …..right where it should be. I joined a second gym. They have other machines I NEED. SO……. my workouts are ramping up again. The state power lifting finals are in April and I have no doubt in busting the bench press record which has stood for 18 years. Problem is ……that’s right in the middle of preseason so……double duty it is. Trey Logan you…….. are a sooooper genius.

One thing I’ve noticed is guys really have to sell themselves …….LOL I need to work on that. Hehe. A word of warning. LOL Guys don’t actually have to be faithful. They just have to tell you they are. That lean cuisine doesn’t have to be 400 calories . It just has to say so …so youll buy it. The guy who fooled you into believing that probably got a six figure bonus for marketing…..and so it is with the love pool…He doesn’t really have to love you……. the chrome salesman just has to make you to THINK he does. As long as you believe him…..Cha ching……

Got a lifting buddy that’s dating this good looking girl. It’s a perfect match….. shes a gold digger and he cheats on her all the time. Hes a good lookin guy, makes good money …she thinks she can get him to part with it and…….hes smart enough not to let her have it. So….they fight….they make up…they fight…they make up. Both of them wearing their masks and both of them alone…...even when their together. Love? FAIL.

Like I say…..its best when its effortless.

If I have to jump up and down and squawk better than the guy next to me so you can figure out who’s the better catch………..I don’t think were combatable…..I mean compatible…… if you don’t know the difference between steak and ground chuck.

And I hate the thought that someone is selling me who they are…it makes my skin…….crawl…....just like I hate the prospect that I have to throw my soulmate a sales pitch…….better than the guy standing next to me.

Small laugh……..Like I said ….. stay the HELL away from me.

Hey I like a good hamburger …….don’t get me wrong. But why would I give my soul to someone who wants to play cards but doesn’t bring money to the craps table? Sorry dude…

In a word……no dice.

Sorry dude…just spankin it like it is. You got what you came for. You invested nothing. You got nothing. Hehehe enjoy.

In my world nothing beats pulling you close and snuggling up for sleep spooned together from head to foot….one hand around your tummy and the other in your hair. My lips on your neck just behind your ear.

Im sure you can get that from the guy with a sales pitch. But that chrome that catches your eye wont stroke your eyebrow when your sad……..trace your ear slowly…… or give you baby kisses to make you smile.

Chrome only covers the surface.

Small smile……..this is…..of course medicine for the medicine man. GUILTY. Chrome only shines when its bright…..you wouldn’t want a partner to bail just cause the lights go out do ya?..... When that happens I should be reaching out to bring you close to me…. If you cant hold onto me when that happens…....we gots work to do

Its nice to turn corners and the punkometer continues to pay for itself.

“I could give you my number….”

“no that’s ok…maybe we’ll see each other out somewhere”.

I got a confused look for sure…..as probably no one had ever turned her down when she OFFERED her phone number.

Don't cut out my paper heart
I ain't dying anyway

Bring it………bring me a smile. You can add it to mine. The love train may not be in town at the moment but being content and happy anyway is not a bad backup plan…… now is it?

Preseason, the fly crusher, and attention of the month club tickets

Yeah dude……..The push is……. ON. There is a difference in just workin out and …..trainin. I’m turning that corner again. Ramping things up ….where they should be. And Im hungrier than before …….which is good. The results are comin too……. so I cant complain….small smile. Ah cant be just ……..standin around…….. waitin for the love train silly!!!! Now I cant take credit here.




That girl thinks that she's so fine
That soon she'll have my mind
That girl thinks that she's so smart
That soon she'll have my heart


That girl indeed. When I agree to a date…uh….it doesn’t mean Im in love with you.
Have I mentioned that squats release a flood of testosterone?
Got a friend who STILL gettin punked by this married chic. Goin on 9 months. When I tell him hes getting punked (for the 10,000 time) he just stares with his ears shut. I do have a saying… “I cant help you if you wont listen to me”. Its hard to suffer fools misled to think theyre in love. But sometimes ……people just don’t want to listen! Hehehe so be it…..remember…the pain you feel is your own creation. So be careful what you give away.
I do like bein a helper. I like to think the love I share with someone brings out their best inside…….pure comfort……..
Of course if you plan on keeping your distance…….I don’t care. You win. Small smile. Keep your walls. Just ……stay away from me. Nuff said.
I have to laugh cause sometimes things just….click into place……ya know?
My time in the gym has a way of…clicking…….unlocking secrets about my body that …..I don’t readily share. People ask for my help but ……..I don’t always oblige. That’s MY secret.
I like unlocking something about my partner too. Sometimes I even keep THAT a secret. Make no mistake…..very quickly I know more about you than you do about me. I just ……may not tell you. Small smile. Youre just used to dealing with weak boys that lie down on command…..just like you knew they would. Predictable….…an easy kill. Enjoy. Hehehe.

Getting attention is….easy.

Being in love is rare.

If you’re happy settling with just getting attention…..enjoy …you really don’t HAVE anything do you? LOL I don’t plan on being THAT lonely. Ive always said ..…bring your A game.

So yeah theres a little satisfaction when the punkometer pays for itself.
Shes cute….and waaay too young.

“You should hang out with us sometime!” The coy shy smile comes …….right on cue. Practiced to perfection……The wounded young maiden in need of a man approach.

“Not a chance”…. BIG smile

“Really…..let me give you my number”

“I don’t want it. But maybe we’ll see each other out somewhere.” Big smile.

Crush that fly.

s all good. Square pegs in round holes aren’t my thing anyway. I like that comfort that comes from fitting up next to my lover like a glove. Im not much on the thought of trading love for……...attention of the month club tickets. LOL the love train doesn’t accept tickets that are forgeries either. The real deal may have to wait…. And that’s ok. The best love is rare. It just takes the right person to….click into place. Cool dude. Small smile.

I had an old friend say the trick to relationships was to find someone that loved you …..more than you loved them. Love? FAIL. Cat and mouse games don’t satisfy….they just mean you don’t know how to get the real thing.

She doesn't use her love to make him weak
She uses love to keep him strong

Bring it…….bring some more preseason training. The love train will come when its good and ready. Hehe betcha din see that a comin?!!!

Preseason, a deadliest catch, and the storm chaser

Yeah dude….things ….arent always fun. Yes I am a soooooper genius. Small smile. Its easy to get a bit dejected when it seems like things take twice as long, cost twice as much, and last half as long as you were hopin for. Ya know? ya know? hang tough…im there with ya.

Ima sorry for that…..things just don’t go according to plan. If I had my way you would be close to me….your head on my chest. Some things are just ……the perfect fix…..Yes? I want to be that man that makes you feel good when things aren’t exactly rosy. Now I cant take credit here.


All our times have come
Here, but now theyre, gone

Don’t fear the reaper indeed. Been struggling with some sour luck lately but that doesn’t make me any different than others I know….small smile. A bit a hardship trains character so Im on board for a lesson or two that bends my will……..but as I see it there is light at the end of the tunnel. Bending is just …….part of the trip.

My salt as a man only seasons when the choices I make are on point …..when things aren’t the best. I rather enjoy (when it happens) NOT weighing life as good or bad as things happen …..but how I choose …… THATS what brings meaning. This is going to sound odd so bear with me…Im not saying I totally swallow the idea but sometimes changing the way I think makes things better…..so here tis…

..In life there it isn’t always a question of “good or bad”…..there are only choices. : puppy head tilt: I love the line in the movie the matrix where Neo says everything begins with choice. The response? “Wrong. Choice is an illusion created by those with power for those without.” Hehe what a Gordian knot we weave when at first we try to ….just make a mobius strip. In the movie seven, Morgan Freeman says “I know I made the right choice…but not a day goes by that I don’t wish I had made a different one”. Haha…..wait………what?

Trey ……..please…just get back to something that makes sense….

Where was I?

Oh yeah…..

Doing something kind with no expectation of reward is……..a choice…… One I Like. A man worth your hand should be no less. Big smile….and I got a chance to do so the other day and it was…….nice. Ah need to be doin that …….more often.

I know there are plenty o things that steal your attention away from what brings happiness. Bills, stress, work, traffic….and bills…… all conspire as a storm to keep your world so topsy turrvy that ……love really doesn’t have a chance ….unless the right person comes along and makes that world ……something you cant get anywhere else. Safe secure, soothing………calm .

So……… the impending storm doesn’t scare me….even if I don’t always perform like I want. But ….I do want to see the look in your eyes that’s says you SEE that in me cause I work hard for it….and to see a smile. When that storm hits I want you to hold on to me. Not shut me out.

I cant say Im easily understood…….or that im a pushover……yeah dude…its not called deadliest catch cause your lounging on the beach with a pole in the sand and a cold corona. Although ……….that does sound like a plan!

The best love is……..effortless

The best relationship ……..takes work.

So dealing with some unpleasantness is worth it if I get to bring out the best in my lover.
But be patient I don’t always get it.

Last year my lower body routine didn’t let me down....but looking back I know this year what to change. Too much a this and not enough o that…….training? PASS. Just …..not yet. Ah need a few more months…..Hehehe

So yeah ….Ah gotsta man up some more and push through cause this years looking better than ever! Even though I HATE this period of strength training….HATE IT I SAY!!! But just like Ive been saying, putting my head in the sand is no plan……that wouldn’t do well on the field …..or in your heart.
So yeah…..no choice…. I have to bring my A game…….. and so do you. The love train stops……right……there.

Come on baby
Don't fear the reaper
Baby take my hand
Don't fear the reaper
We'll be able to fly
Don't fear the reaper
Baby I'm your man

Bring it…………bring the light at the end of the tunnel. If you cant bring that…… take my hand and we’ll get there together.

The Knight, a new team, and frontside protection

Oh dude…..the self abuse director is …..IN. Ah needs me a few mo weeks a trainin to get ma football legs agoin. It’s the off season and I should be workin my upper body harder but I ran into a coach for another team the other day and he invited me to come down to practice. I happen to know the assistant coach from my days at the bruins. He congratulated me on my bench press record and told me about a few of my old teammates that got AFL contracts…… cool………yeah dude. That means I get to start training ….earlier than I want. Now I can’t take credit here.

There's a line, I can't cross over. It's no good for me and it's no good for you.
You say we've been like strangers, but I'm not the others you can wrap 'round your fingers……..
And I've given you my all, there's no more to borrow.

Get closer indeed. My workouts are much more result oriented these days….strength training is first. Then the agility and speed programs. Horse first ……then lash up the cart. Agility is nothing without strength first.

Our quarter back is getting a facefull of linebackers …….AND the D line. All day. Its NOT pretty. O line is folding and the running backs are ….NOT taking care of business. Finally…… Im in.. I plan to ….excuse me……WILL….. take out ANYBODY that even THINKS they are coming through. I hear the play call “pro right ……motion ….Liz…out…… wing bubble…….first number…..first number……..BREAK!

Im front side protection. …….Bring it.

I scan my targets…….The outside linebacker backs up to cover the flats …….and the defensive end is ………coming.

Or so he thinks.

I bite down on my mouthpiece and my legs tighten. My head is straight ahead ……but my eyes ………..are locked……… to the right.

The cadence…….. comes slowly…….from far away.

B…L….U….E…….


T….W…E…N…N…Y…..O….N…E

I …….have………… no fear.

None

He comes at me straight. This ……..is a mistake. I jam……. to meet him….. head on……..and his body ….jacks up in the air ……off to the right…..in slow motion.

I ignore him……. turn my back and …….head back to the huddle. Job done.

The rest of the game……. Defensive tight ends go flying. No one gets by……..Not once.

It’s a good day to be strong.

Strength is a good thing. I think people want to be strong (yes …Trey Logan you are a sooooper genius) and in the process of building that up…they find it doesn’t turn out the way they expected……. Working hard to be strong can mistakenly make people ……..hard.

Fan……..tastic

Nobody strives to be weak. So that same instinct you use to keep from getting hurt also makes you unavailable, isolated, and scared of losing your heart. Love? FAIL.

I know this all sounds like a dose of common sense. On one hand having some self preserving protection in place is a good thing but….. you take that TOO far and that….does nothing for a fairytale of romance and knights in shining armor. I mean ……when the knight shows up and you start explaining that ………..you don’t trust people because of your past….…and that you don’t want to bring him into your kids lives cause he might leave and …your really independent……..you don’t let people in….

Hes liable to ride off ……..…without you.

I like being strong. But not at the expense of keeping you at a distance. What good would that do?

Hehe…I realize that’s not the easisest thing to change. Its hard to let your guard down. I have some friends that tell me lately Im bein too picky.

Im not hard to please.

Just hard to impress.

I mean you DO want to feel safe and secure with my arms around you dont you?

If I am to be the only man that you trust to hold you down …..with just the right amount of slow…..increasing pressure….holding it…..just right…..so when you grind ……..you go .....boom…..in waves. Then you better be someone who is strong…but bendable…….strong…but giving…..strong ….but....open….strong ….but……...weak with need and desire.

Darlin' if you want me to be closer to you, get closer to me.
Darlin' if you want me to love, love only you, then love only me.
Darlin' if you want me to see, see only you, then see only me.

Bring it……..bring that comfort that satisfies like only love can. Being strong isn’t being made of stone. The love train only makes stops on the mainland. If you’re an island then you best start paddling if you plan to get a ticket.

Super balls, pearls on a pig, and emotional circus freaks

Gunna apologize right up front. You never know what the future holds….so I gotsta say Im kinda disappointed in masef for makin this blog a bit uglier than I expected. I don’t normally have bad things to say but apparently turning the corner on this purging process is rather ..….slow. But im doing my best to divorce maself from what I have discovered is a plethora of punkees in my midst. So I appreciate your patience in advance for listening to a broken record ….. cuz some of these folks just refuse to die. Now I cant take credit here.

I see you crying in the sunshine
I hear you laughing in the rain
You say you can't tell any difference
Between the pleasure and the pain

Desperate people indeed. Well….maybe just lost or misguided. Hehehe

The girl that unkindly offered to give me a $20, five mile ride called and wanted to know if I would cash a $200 check for her that would be good in two weeks. Then she corrected herself and said it would be good on the second of next month…then she said it would be good in two days. Mysteriously, our cell phone convo got dropped during the discussion and I didn’t answer any more of her calls.

One word………Balls

Got 2 emails from “Mailney”. The girl that was defriended on facebook for attempting to restart a new decade of punking. She wanted to know if I had left facebook and for me to contact her (imagine that) because she had some “stupid questions that needed ANSWERS.” No I’m not joking. Im undecided whether to seriously lay it out there or just ignore her. As in… “You were defriended and blocked from facebook because I dont consider contact with you to be honest or rewarding at all. P.S. Give your husband my condolences and ask HIM the stupid questions.”

I sent Tiny a heartfelt email expressing that I thought she was a fantastic girl and I was looking for a PARTNER. I was exhausted from months of lip service about wanting to see me…then ignoring my attempts to contact her. …that she wasn’t ready for a real relationship and that I wasn’t going to feed her ego anymore in the meantime. Four days later I get a generic 2 line email asking how was I doing and when was I taking her out for drinks. It wasn’t anything personal or special. Three days later I got a facebook message asking me to please come back home.

More balls…..

Im done wasting my time putting pearls on a pig so I responded in a tone that got a predictable response…….Nothing. Obviously shes angry I don’t want to “play along” with getting punked anymore.

The same thing happened with round 7. I sent a very heartfelt email about how I was hoping she could let those walls down..

“When I look in your eyes I know your trapped and I want so badly for you to see that keeping that door closed isnt security…..…it’s a prison. Once you come outside to be with me you wont ever want to go back in there ………..ever. ……And that’s where I want you to be…….with me…………..Im asking you……….. come with me.

I know you……..your not afraid of being hurt. You have these walls up to make sure that cant happen. What your afraid of is being in love.

……... I don’t want to break down a wall that you can build back up ….whenever you feel like it. I want you to fall in love with me…….. where there are no walls. You wont need them …….ever again…… “

Five days later I got back …….

“So what do you like to do with your spare time?”

Super Balls

I got game but this is more like a circus for emotional freaks. I just ……….DON’T have the ill will in me to punk back without remorse for being a jerk. Besides these girls are seasoned professionals. My attempt to punk back would be something like

You……..your……….hair…its….so……um….youre having a bad hair day …..so there…..ha!

Ive always said NO relationship is preferable to a BAD one. A bad relationship can be changed…....abuse cannot. What can I say?....I’m learning. Albeit slow. But……..

I was even punked by someone who called and said they could hire me …..if I would go get them some contracts!!!

Lemme say that again…

Go get us some contracts and then we can hire you.

Ball………less

Beyond this point I promise to end this rash of blogging nastiness.

I played guitar out twice this week……and had a fantastic time. I had forgotten how fun playing for a crowd is. I knew every request which is always gratifying ……yeah dude. People dancing and singing along. It’s a good feeling to know people like hearing you play. No lip service there. Hehehe……free beer doesn’t hurt either! Getting some repeat folks showin up sayin they come just to hear me…… big smile. Played some stuff not usually requested……Cat Stevens…..King of the road…….Rawhide……..After I finished three hours worth the bar owner picked his axe up and I sat at the drum kit and a few others joined in. Stray cats…....Zeppelin…….wild thing…….The free booze and backslaps keepa comin….. I looked up and ……it was midnight. Really?? I gotsta get home!

Been thinking ALOT about football. Third season comin up and I know my contract will get picked up again so Im happy about that. I’ve had some good time off and I’ve finally gotten off that extra football weight……which is great….until I have to put it back on in preseason. I had a few injuries first season but last year I………..was golden. Watching the NFL this year has really made me hungry to play again. But Im glad for some time off……lower body training though is still ….unpleasant and I gotsta man up dawg. I flirted with uppin my swat weight and changed my treadmill routine and yeah……ahm a sore pup. Now I just gotta hope I don’t break my neck! Special teams was great last year…Wish I had the film!!!!!!! ..but there is some talent on the team so Im thinking of …..dare I way it…..moving to outside linebacker.

You say you never ever dream at night time
You say you only dream when you're awake
And say that T.V. looks like your life
And the life you lead is fake

Bring it………bring an end to my bad blogging! Maybe I need to go on break again till all this silliness is gone!!

Paper thin love, The Re-eval, And the Never Never text

Ah gots ta tell ya…had some strange convos lately….yeah dude…..Now…I know that Im not always going to be right and I sure like it when I find myself in a position to reevaluate something and change ma ways if ahm not zackly doin it the way I should or want. If I plan to master my future then I cant be a slave to my past. Even the past it seems can be ……..reevaluated. Some things are easy……others? Well….sometimes it takes a while for the crystal ball to cough up the answer.. Yes Trey Logan you………are a sooooper genius. Now I cant take credit here.

Try to see it my way,
Do I have to keep on talking till I can't go on?
While you see it your way,
Run the risk of knowing that our love may soon be gone.

We can work it out indeed. I do love the idea that some people are listening and others are…….just waiting to talk. I remember a heated discussion with my ex ( I was TRYING to have a discussion about how to save our marriage and she …..cleaned house…while I talked to myself) and at the conclusion I was told “if that’s the way you see it then I don’t WANT to see your side”.

Fan…….tastic

Fewer things are worse than having a one sided discussion. Its bad enough to find out your talking to yourself. Its worse to discover that you’re the only one in the relationship…..and no amount of effort will fix things because your partner is emotionally crippled behind a wall that you cant get down. I like getting that wall down. Better still…..I like it when you take that wall down for me. That feeling of connection is something you cant get anywhere else, but if YOU cant let that wall down and …..I cant get it down……..well…. please have the courtesy to stay the hell away from me.
If you make yourself unavailable the result is……wait for it….…..you’re unavailable. Good plan? FAIL.
Think about it. If you’re running in the opposite direction…..how in the world do you expect to receive my affection? How are you going to feel that comfort you crave? How do you expect to feel safe and secure in my arms……….if you’re running away?

In the last year I’ve heard two separate dates tell me.
“I just want to be happy”
and
“Just once I want to wake up and be happy”
In my book that’s code for “I have no clue what happiness is or how it feels”
My response?
“Boy…… I sure have an early day tomorrow.”
Paper thin love isn’t on the list. Building love you can trust will always be there takes understanding yourself as well as your partner, a dose of selflessness and an ability to get through the rough times.
Reevaluating some past relationships….. I have discovered that I may have glamorized relationships that didn’t deserve it and underappreciated some that got the short end of the stick. If you cant say your sorry …there wasnt much of a relationship there anyway. Nothing lost….so no regrets! Sometimes it takes a while to see things clearly. I recently had the chance to make good one that never got full closure. We had some email exchanges and turns out shes doing well…her kids are almost grown and she just got a promotion…Im glad shes fine and wish her all the best. She will find someone just perfect for her I have NO doubt…...small smile.
I had a friend recently scold another for being too available. “When he calls don’t answer….call him back later and tell him you were busy…….dont be so available”.
I had another girl ask when she should text a guy back after they went out to dinner. The friends answer? “Never…...he should pursue her.”

Never? Ever?......... as in…not at all never?

And you want to know where all the good men are?

Ill tell you where they are.
Theyre out on a date with the girl who answered the phone.
Theyre out on a date with the girl who texted after dinner that she hoped they could get together again.
Theyre out on a date with the girl who let him know that wall is down and she likes him.

When its effortless its just…….the best. If the plan is

Step one: see which one jumps up and down and waves his arms the most to get your attention.

Step two: Ignore him and run in the opposite direction to see if how far he is willing to follow…..looking like a possessed electrocuted chicken

Step three: See if he can break down this unbreakable wall that you don’t EVER plan on letting down.

Step four: finally…mmmmm..…love

Well …that was EASY! Thats all there is to it?? WOW!

Not so fast…..no I think that’s a mistake.…..yes wait ……just a second ….Im sure ….its ……its.….Step four: schedule another unsuccessful girls nite out so you can try this harebrained routine again. Like I said……. keep the HELL away from me.

life is very short, and there's no time
For fussing and fighting, my friend.
I have always thought that it's a crime,
So I will ask you once again.
Try to see it my way,
Only time will tell if I am right or I am wrong.
While you see it your way
There's a chance that we may fall apart before too long.

Bring it…….bring a plan to fall in love that doesn’t involve being unavailable, hard to get and impossible to get close to. The love train stops so you can get on. It doesn’t chase you down, knock you over the head and drag you on board. The good memories come from having that wall down so keep your heart open. Then I can kiss your neck and hold your wrists and make you say “have me”. If you cant do that …well…you never had me anyway…...hehehe then I guess I ‘ll have to settle for …small smile…..watching you run the other way. Hehe ……OK….OK…..I got it!.....I got it!...we werent supposed to be together…..You win! You win! Hehehe.

love ready mix, selfishness, and baggin a bear

Yeah dude ……glad to end ma label as punkee……the punkometer is ON and workin. fo sho. Testing testing…..1…2….3…….Yep itsa woikin…….asked a girl I know to give me a 5 mile ride while my car was in the shop……..even offered to put some gas in….she said……. “Could you put in $20?”…..I declined the ride …. …menu…..contacts…..erase. small smile……big satisfaction. Gonna put this blog here as well as on ma other blog cause it kinda fits…. K? Now I can’t take credit here.




Spend my days with a woman unkind
Smoked my stuff and drank all my wine
Made up my mind, make a new start
Goin' to California with an achin' in my heart



Led Zepplin indeed. I guess these things just don’t always go as planned. Yeah dude. My car is messed up and Im ….well….Im walkin……to work….to the gym….to the store……....in the rain. I borrowed a coworkers bike but after one ride my butt feels like a lifer at san Quentin and I nearly got killed by passing traffic.



Fan……tastic



So the bike is NOT an option. But in traditional Sooooper genius style Im gonna try and see this as …..forced cardio for the next two weeks.

Been a bit selfish lately on ma blog….been a bit on the ……ahma pissed off side while purging too….so I apologize for bein a buzz killer. Next rounds on me! Deal?

A friend o mine is struggling with an ex who has ……plenty of issues but I wanted to give up two pennies on the issue of guys and selfishness.

On the surface…..I don’t think most are gonna say being selfish is a coveted quality to have. Ya know? You would think that being selfless would be a more attractive feature for a guy to aspire.. Women all seem to want ……….a “good” man.

Wrong.

Preachers aren’t really high on the “boy that’s what I want” list. In fact bad boys, men with issues, and emotionally unavailable seem to attract a womans desires to fix……..nurture….or support something that’s obviously……..broken. AND impossible to domesticate. …………Enjoy. Lemme know how that fifth attempt with a cheater is goin…..sorry..thats wasn’t very nice.

In a mans world selfishness is …….well….viewed differently than they way women process “selfishness”.. Men applaud each other for being selfish.

Haha…….wait….what?

Trey you are ……NOT…. a sooooper genius.

Men compete with each other for jobs, women, faster cars and more toys. The selfish guy is the one able to beat his neighbor to the punch. If a man is not selfish……he will not achieve respect among other men. Think about it. That’s why men are self centered, and me me me. Men measure their success differently than a woman.

Would you want a man that …..

lets you wear the pants cause hes too lazy to take the wheel?

I LIKE being in the drivers seat and I don’t plan on giving up my dark side bad boy attitude. Cause Its kinda hard to make a woman feel safe and secure if your slackin on the couch all day watching football. Companion? FAIL.

Selfish men are TAUGHT to have control. Its expected that they cultivate it. Growing up …….boys are told “when you grow up you have to……”

Control the race car

Control the spaceship

Control the defense

Control the sale



If you DON’T…….then……you’re a loser.



Control control control.



Are ya feelin me yet? A man without this ability ….…..you DONT want. So we strive to be the best…..and first.

I don’t know of any man that will say second place …..or LAST….. is just fine. We don’t strive to be last. The bad news is men aren’t very good at giving up control… at home that’s a bad thing. A woman doesn’t want to be controlled. She wants a man who’s IN control.

Which I hope helps explain WHY men aren’t very cooperative when they hear a wife say. “Uh..…you’re married now…..the kids come first.”

A real man will step aside for his lover….and being selfless so your lover shines is …..sweet.

A boys fantasy life about being a grownup includes things like…. fighter pilot, professional baseball star, or lead guitarist ………regrettably these have nothing to do with taking out the trash or doing laundry. And we don’t dream about such an opportunity.



Im just sayin.



We don’t always get it. We don’t always know how to turn off the control we’ve spent years trying to perfect. In our world control is a good thing. At home …well……its not. When a dad is teaching his son how to fix the car he doesn’t stop and say “remember son…….be selfless”.

So….These same qualities men foster to be kings of manhood aren’t really the ones we need to …..

Be a great partner….

Watch the kids……

Tell you we spent $300…… on a new guitar…

I gotsta put this in here… cause theres no good place to put it. I realize theres a bunch o stuff in this blog……..sorry…but I absolutely effin hate explaining my thoughts live to someone and they say…..”I don’t believe any of that”……that happened today.. I basically outlined what this blog was about and after about five minutes I had some woman say “I don’t believe ANY of that”….. “that’s not true for EVERYBODY”…..



Uh……. yeah I know that you moron.



When I say “guys”……. I screwing realize im not taking into account



Some guy in Indonesia who cant read and never heard of diet coke…..

A blind American Indian in1563

And your OCD brother who weighs 142 pounds …….and is a pastor.



For a girl (Oh…no…… here comes another blanket generalization that doesn’t apply to everyone) I think aspiring to womanhood has a different set of ideas. So we definitely don’t see eye to eye. Money, kids, money, family time, sex, household responsibilities, and money. All are a great battlefield to fight over…..not the best idea when you consider we both need a partner not a roadblock.

Still……….these qualities are what make a man a successful beast in the forest. Lets face it…do you want to bag a rabbit or a bear?

As a side note. You LOVE the uniform? Be prepared. Any body trained to wear a gun and get shot at ……will not be emotionally friendly or available. And here you thought he was confident, self assured and a protector. In order to do that job you have to be a bit distant, disconnected, angry, controlling and in need of stress relief.. Hows that for a “man of your dreams” recipe?

In a world where men compete with each other…….we admire risk takers. A man not willing to take risks is …..well……folding laundry. Small laugh….. So go easy on us for being…..…not the brightest.

No pain ..no gain. Nothing ventured …..nothing gained. Pack leaders don’t……..sit on the porch. My exwife always wanted to flog me for not being around. I wanted a thank you for working so hard, killing dinner and bringing it home. I didn’t get it. I got a divorce instead ……..when I caught her on her second affair.

Ive learned a lot since then……balance makes a great partner. The love train doesn’t stop for people who cant look in the mirror ………and see why they cant get a ticket. Take a close look at why the love train doesn’t stop for you. Its worth it. Passage on the love train is NOT a right. It’s a privilege you earn when you have everything in place to give and receive……when the train comes through town. No bitter baggage allowed. No carry on jealousy.


Standin' on a hill in the mountain of dreams
Tellin' myself it's not as hard, hard, hard as it seems



Bring it…………bring some love. Love is something two people create TOGETHER. It doesn’t……..arrive automatically by some guy who has the total package prewrapped for you to accept. Its not Premade, looking for you and waiting for you to just….receive it. …..if it meets with your approval. This is why there isn’t a round 8. Walls down and open arms. Sorry…….Tickets on the love train only come in pairs. I may be selfish but ……. sharing ma ticket? ……yeah I can do that. You comin or what?

Scorpion shoes, defriending and the LAST 2 months of punking.

Mad skills dude….the Fushizzle is in…….I like using ma past to benchmark the people around me……I see ……a lot….. good people….people in pain….fools…….mean folks…… I value what shoes others are wearin so I go out of my way to understand…… so I can help….if ah can. Not a bad plan except…....I never had a scorpion ask for help. Scorpions have….anuther agenda all togetha. I feel kinda stoopid trying to put on a scorpions shoes…….dude..what ARE you doin????....stop that….stop that right now please. Holding down a snake to change its stripes to polka dots …….well…isn’t the best plan either…….Dude….please stop that…. Kindu been under a dark cloud lately. But there is good news…. It doesn’t rain every day. Now I cant take credit here.

I've got sunshine on a cloudy day.
When it's cold outside I've got the month of May.

My girl indeed.
I think lotsa folks keep asking…… why? Over…and over
“Why did this person treat me bad?”
“Why did I LET this person treat me bad?”

As if understanding the answer is the goal…..ya know?
If I could just figure out “why”……….then everything would be ok.
Well………..not zackly.
Understanding why won’t do you any good if you can’t answer the question.

“What are you going to do about it?”

If you don’t even ask the question why ….then ….just skip this blog all together cause you are doomed to be alone…..again….. Some folks could care less about “why” ….. but if your so self centered as to think its always the other persons fault then I have the bad taste to inform you that there is NO greedy section on the love train. The love train only seats people willing to give. So if your smart enough to figure out “why” then your closer to a ride. The answer to why wont fix the problem though…. You have to decide what your going to do about it.
but if your response is to do …..Nuthin…….then the whys aren’t worth a whole lot.

Understanding why people do what they do is……fun dawg. Daddy does love his crystal ball.

Implementing a solution is……..not easy.

Finding someone attractive is….easy…making a relationship work is….hard.

Saying you want to be loved is…….easy. Breaking down a wall you’ve spent thirty years building up is……hard.
Yes Trey …..you are a sooooper genius.

Cause finding out I gots a problem aint worth a dayuummm if I don’t plan on fixing the issue. So Ahma gunna finish up this string o ugly blogs by shedding some demons TODAY.
The girl from my other blog “slow cookin foreigner and the game winner” was defriended on facebook with good justifiable reason. And Here tis……

Mind you “Mailney” and I haven’t spoke in oh say….15 years.

On the first day of punking ….my true punk gave to me:

A facebook message that said:

Im sad, I need to talk to you.

I immediately typed back “Heres my number call me… You ok?”… two weeks go by. Count em….Two.

On the second week of punking….my true punk gave to me:

A facebook message that said:

I need to ask you SOMETHING.

I immediately typed back my number again said hope your ok. I also sent an email “Whats wrong?”

A week later I sent a second email.

…….Nothing………no response…NADA….Niente…el zilcho.

On the second MONTH of punking ….my true punk gave to me

A facebook message that said:

How are things in general?

I immediately typed back “what in the flying shit are you talking about? Is this what you had to ask me?” I found her phone number and called about 7 or 8 times in a two day period…...no one ever answered the phone.

Five days later I get a facebook message that said:

“Aren’t you concerned about Drew Carey?...Gosh the old Trey used to have a heart….”

……Im ………….…speechless

Today was not a good day to punk Trey. I hit the defriend button……. with pleasure.
I have no doubt we will meet again. And I do like to be prepared. It wont be pretty and I don’t care. Hopefully her husband will be there and I can offer my condolences. That’s the way Im built. I don’t do make up sex. If you piss me off I fight back with the intent to injure….not to amuse.….. Im always surprised when I see people dish it out …but when the counter punch comes they feign innocence and act like you’re the one who’s being rude.
I have to laugh because I DO say “I don’t start fights but Ill be happy to end it.

I used to be an easy target and ahm happy to say ……Ive learned my lesson……cool dude. The bones of past punkers that fill my closet….are going out with the trash. Gunna use the space for sumpin betta.

In ma world this is a wonderful example of how I made the right decision because everything was totally one sided. I was doing all the work. The first time I punked her though…after she did it to me FOR YEARS…...she got pissed. However it was perfectly acceptable for her to punk me without end. The same was true of “Tiny” in my last blog. Its ok for Trey to get punked without any end in sight…but the FIRST time Trey punks back ……well…..

With enemies like this ….who needs fake girlfriends?

I don’t doubt my own abilities but I have to seriously reconsider my chance of success in the mating arena when I have to ask the question “how long do you have to ignore a woman to get her attention?” When no means yes and yes means not really……my ability to reach you is severely crippled at best. Finding love? FAIL. Treys fault?? ….Not today……..the mirror is over there. Knock yourself out. The love trains still a rollin……still searchin for ma girl.

I guess you'd say
What can make me feel this way?
My girl (my girl, my girl)
Talkin' 'bout my girl (my girl).

Bring it……...bring some sunshine. Cloudy days and rain are fine…..as long as they make you grow. I like the idea that I can learn from a bad experience. Figuring out your getting punked isn’t fun….but its one fine thing to discover by draggin it into the light…….but……doin something about it is what really counts. I know Im glad to put this all to bed. Whew!....ahm tarred!! Nitey Nite!

Gold, Brian Wilson, and the good bye

There is never a good time to say goodbye. I wish I could take credit here. But Brian Wilson said it best

I may not always love you
But long as there are stars above you
You never need to doubt it
Ill make you so sure about it
God only knows what I'd be without you

Lemme say the best loves in my world are also intense friendships. Even that, you will find, is far too rare for my liking. Powerful trust and comfort comes rarely on the open sea. But real love is based on more than what the adult world will offer both of us……So I ask you all to bring you’re A game to the table. Cause I want you well fed when I take your hand, put you in bed and snuggle up behind you in perfect comfort…..my arm wrapped around you …….making you safe and secure for the night.
Make peace in your world cause the reality on TV does NOT make me happy.
I think when you have entertainment in the form of COPS, addicted, Jerry Springer, Locked up, CSI, and repo man …..love has few friends in this world.
Life is not easy and apparently people enjoy seeing everyone else’s life in torment.
Im not happy bout that. Happy people make happy relationships.
TV shows, sales people, weight loss commercials, they all imitate love to get your attention. Sex sells. Still…. sex isn’t love. Don’t be fooled. It’s everywhere. And I don’t want you to settle for someone with a sales plan and a mask.
In the face of being marketed to….you will find a lot of people who will use you..…lie….embellish, fake and even put on an act to hide their ugliness …just to get you in bed. Keep your heart close. Its important that you know the difference between hamburger and steak. If you cant….go back to cooking school….. cuz your heart is going to hurt…….. Again. When you find something real….hold onto it with everything you have. Everyone seems to think the love train is just around the corner. Don’t fool yourself. Honestly, some people never see the love train again. So be ready.
My own history includes what I thought would be a good decision. I was wrong. True story. My own marriage devolved to the point that my wife once said to me “I wish you would hurry up and die like your dad should have done years ago”.
I know you’re under a lot of pressure. Work, health insurance, gas prices, car repairs, and food prices make it difficult to work on yourself because you’re managing life.
Think about it. None of that mattered in 8th grade…..did it?
That’s why 8th grade love is just the best. Hunt for that feeling inside yourself. Its done a lot for me.
In a world where money is king……love is only a stranger……nameless, faceless, and passing through.
But its rarity……makes it priceless……..keep your gold…….I’d rather have your hand.
Being wrapped up in real love feels like nothing else. And you know it. New clothes, a good meal, a good movie……just……satisfy for a moment….and that’s all.
You will not be able to cheat …. Lie …fake …or manipulate someone to get that feeling.. If you try to….you will fail……and I will be very sad. So don’t tell me if that’s your chosen path. Cause I cant follow you.

If you should ever leave me
Though life would still go on
believe me
The world could show nothing to me
So what good would living do me
God only knows what I'd be without you
God only knows what I'd be without you

Bring it…….bring nothing. You have already given me much and I want the best for all of you. Keep your heart open. Trey Logan may not be a super genius but he does know the only thing you really have is what you make with someone else. I still have work to do but its worth it to find that love again. Love fail? PASS. I want you there with me when the love train comes to town. I have an extra ticket. So give me your hand and say “hold me”. Cause God only knows if I will ever see you again.