whatcha ona bout girl??

whatcha ona bout girl??
A retrospective on the inner workings of love, flying pancakes, mensa disasters, dandelion cookies, number bending, super salt, bubblegum oysters, chicken spit, crystal kidneys, guerilla carrots, polychromatic tofu, paraphysics, tender vigilanties, black sand, phillastine placebos, wood soup, buttered shuttlecocks, apostrophe training, fish whips, bleeding speed, plastic fantastic lobster telephones, venus drug rehab, clowns on fire, kiosks on a leash, marshmello overcoats, bottled light, fried blood, unbridled hyperthyroidism, folding wine, amygdula tickling, fainting in coils, hamburgers for the apocalypse, plastic memes, and conjugal fritters.....well...the love parts true

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Candy, the Graduate, and the two headed monster


When I get it right Im on fire. When I get it wrong…..…lets just say its in no way partial. I love the line in The graduate where Dustin Hoffman’s dad says “ Ben this whole idea sounds pretty half baked to me” and Dustin says “Oh no sir…...its completely baked”. How can you not like a couga movie? I can’t take credit here.

In restless dreams I walked alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone,
neath the halo of a street lamp,
I turned my collar to the cold and damp

Kinda grim but….. Ben turns out alright. When I was maybe 2 my folks took me trick or treating. We picked up my grandmom along the way. While in the car I was apparently given instruction on what to do when I got to the door. Im told I made a good rabbit. They let me out. I go ring the doorbell and when the door opens I go in and shut the door. My grandmom laughed so hard she peed all over herself and we had to go home after that. Some memories are better when forgotten. When I was 6 or 7 my mom talked me into…..ready??...... a deck of cards…..she took a cardboard box and covered it in white paper and drew a joker on the front. I was told this was a good idea.
Its fall and that means dew on the ground. I am the most successful deck of cards …EVER. I have raced through many neighborhoods with this box on….(are you getting the visuals??) …and filled my paper bag with a precious hoard of blessings like zagnuts and gum. Bounty??...... All mine. Problem is……paper bags and dew do not mix.
So Im almost home at the top of the hill and the bag feels light. I look at the hole in the bottom of the bag and turn slowly to see the street full of kids scrambling to pick up my evenings work. Every last piece. I scream and go flying down the hill. A deck of cards…. running……..Its all gone.
In 6th grade my girlfriend and I decided to be a two headed monster. We cut some holes and put a blanket over our heads. I was the left arm and she was the right. We did up our faces crazy. She did mine and I did hers. Perfect innocense……Two best friends…... a bond…..literally joined at the hip. The night was perfect and we laughed as we struggled to navigate with my leg tied to hers in the dark.
Bring it………bring your innocense. When your young its more fun to get candy. The older I get I rather enjoy giving it too.

Hear my words that I might teach you,
Take my arms that I might reach you.

Trick or treat?

6 comments:

That Chick said...

now that is precious. love it :D

Kimberly said...

My cousin and I "carpeted" the top of my great grandmother's hen house with her checks & finger nail polish.

Innocence? No. Evilness? Most certainly.

f1trey said...

@ that chick- Thanks darlin! I be letting it all hang out come back sometime! I lived is Suwanee for a year.... man that traffic is rough...lawrenceville is nice though....Livin off of Jimmy carter BLVD aint livin...whew!

f1trey said...

@ Kimberly- OMG Im afraid to ask what happened to the dog!!!!

Violet said...

I was a dancing pack of cigarettes one year. LOL But I was in high school and had the legs for it...

Love these memories. :)

f1trey said...

@violet- Thats too much!!! LOL Ive kept the tradition going..no lie.... I made my daughter wear a case of miller lite beer with wheels on it and go as rusty wallace....