whatcha ona bout girl??

whatcha ona bout girl??
A retrospective on the inner workings of love, flying pancakes, mensa disasters, dandelion cookies, number bending, super salt, bubblegum oysters, chicken spit, crystal kidneys, guerilla carrots, polychromatic tofu, paraphysics, tender vigilanties, black sand, phillastine placebos, wood soup, buttered shuttlecocks, apostrophe training, fish whips, bleeding speed, plastic fantastic lobster telephones, venus drug rehab, clowns on fire, kiosks on a leash, marshmello overcoats, bottled light, fried blood, unbridled hyperthyroidism, folding wine, amygdula tickling, fainting in coils, hamburgers for the apocalypse, plastic memes, and conjugal fritters.....well...the love parts true

Thursday, August 20, 2009

The kiss, the test and a bridge to nowhere

We would try and meet on the bridge and stay……as long as we could. I can see the outline of her long hair in the dim moonlight and the touch of her lips makes me feel strong and whole far beyond any other mortal 13 year old boy. My hands hold her still, but she is so content and her submission makes her weak with need. I can see it…….feel it….from her eyes….she says nothing…..We kiss in silence…..slowly……we part…….letting go only from fingertips…each waiting for the other to break perfection. I walk back to the cabin until she is too far to hear and then break into a smiling run. Summer camp love lasts but a week. So theres like……NO time to argue about how much you spent on your hair. No meltdown about how much I wrote that check for. No grilling about why you’re making us late…….again. No reason to give me that look over my dirty shoes sitting at the door. No raising my voice over why I ALWAYS have to initiate sex……AND be on top. It’s about the love stupid. Now I cant take credit here.

Sometimes I feel like don’t have a partner
sometimes I feel like my only friend

By day the bridge is….well…..a bridge. 50 screaming kids trample it like a pack of wild animals from the pool to the dining hall. And yeah dude….. my initials are there too….At night its…...well..…a sacred place built for 2.
Now if I had met my ex wife on that bridge ……….I would have thrown her off it. No bridge would have ever been good enough for us to connect. Im not joking……this is a typical conversation.
Her can we get it in black?
Me black is fine.
Her why do you want it in black?
Me you said you wanted it in black…..
Her I never said black.
Me You just said “can we get it in black?”
Her no I didn’t… I said white. You always say black. I never said black
Me what?
Her I want it in black
Me I thought you said you never wanted black
Her No you wanted it in white you just said white
Me No I didnt
Her I don’t want it in black
Me what color do you want?
Her You just said black and I said I wanted in it white.
Me what color do you want?
Her white

Im not joking. Its very hard for me to think randomly like that….to NOT make ANY sense is hard. After a few years I did a test. I had to practice out loud for days but I had pretend conversations where I tried to be serious and stay focused enough to just not make sense. At first I could get a few statements out and then I would mess up and make sense. After a week I was ready. It was hard not to blow it but it was priceless. It took her about two minutes into the conversation to get that something wasn’t quite right. I kept a straight face and never let on. She kept on with it. Both of us not making ANY sense. I finally ended the conversation and went outside to laugh my ass off. she never got it.

I don't ever wanna feel like I did that day
Take me to the place I love, take me all the way

Bring it……bring your sanity cause I have already not been what she told me it was…and I guarantee that this wont be the next time it doesn’t happen …...k?


Anonymous said...

I like this one... 'Cept I took my summer love home with me and felt lost and sad and sorry as I realized I'd guessed wrong again... but that's just me, I've always guessed wrong... Your ex sounds like my mom (who sounds a lot like my ex!): whatever the other party agreed to, she'd disagree -very Through The Looking Glass - that kind of adventure is always better to read about than hack through.

Isn't it wild how the world, when it's got its everyday shell on, is so tough and can take the sneakers and the chewing gum and the yelling? Then when it's whispering to you how it's been waiting for you to come back to its mysteries, it seems like any harsh word would shatter it?

(I seem to have misplaced my shell this morning...)

f1trey said...

I havent seen your shell.....really....no idea.....its not over here I promise....under the bed...or anything... :)

f1trey said...

@ romantic seul- whatya mean THIS one????

Anonymous said...

Humph. Gimme my shell back & maybe I'll asplain myself. Or... maybe I'll just throw peanuts... Mmmmwah-hahahaha!

f1trey said...

oh...you are SOOO going to splain that lucy...and you know darn good and well this is a peanut free zone....isnt it?? I mean I clicked Peanut free zone when I created my profile.

Anonymous said...

That was "free peanuts" ya goon!

f1trey said...

I know you like "nuts" but really...... hehehe

ViolentLove said...

You are too sweet.


f1trey said...

@ violent love- Thanks darlin! YOu always have good things to say! I appreciate it! Wait a minute.....sweet? Oh no!! thats the kiss od death for a guy!! take that back! say Im dark and mysterious!

Kimberly said...

I've had one summer love. Actually it was two in one summer. Both ended in heartbreak. But I got retribution years later.

And again, I couldn't follow you. I think this post was about a summer fling & a crazy person right?

f1trey said...

@ kimberly- I hate making your head hurt!!!!well there again i guess i didnt do a great job making sense!! hehehehe
Yeah I was reminiscing about a summmer camp love...dont know whatever happened to her...and the bridge was our meeting place...then i started thinking about the bridge itself and the metaphors there..... the song reference is of course under the bridge by the red hot chili peppers.....
and the crazy person was my exwife who was nuts and no bridge would ever connect the two of us....does that make sense???