whatcha ona bout girl??

whatcha ona bout girl??
A retrospective on the inner workings of love, flying pancakes, mensa disasters, dandelion cookies, number bending, super salt, bubblegum oysters, chicken spit, crystal kidneys, guerilla carrots, polychromatic tofu, paraphysics, tender vigilanties, black sand, phillastine placebos, wood soup, buttered shuttlecocks, apostrophe training, fish whips, bleeding speed, plastic fantastic lobster telephones, venus drug rehab, clowns on fire, kiosks on a leash, marshmello overcoats, bottled light, fried blood, unbridled hyperthyroidism, folding wine, amygdula tickling, fainting in coils, hamburgers for the apocalypse, plastic memes, and conjugal fritters.....well...the love parts true

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Hornets, the cemetary, and Marlin Brando


The three of us would ride those mowers down the side of the BIG road, past the high school every Saturday morning…….@ 2 miles an hour. Yeah dude it took like FOR EVER to get there and we were usually sweating by the time we reached ……..the cemetery. Now….riding over thousands of dead people is unnerving enough for a seventh grader but the real enemy were the ground hornets. A hornet that makes its hive in the GROUND dude …..has BALLS. B A L L S plural. This is NOT your mamas honey bee.
Of course you don’t know where they are unless you see one of the other guys leap off a running mower and run like they’re on fire. Back then the mowers didn’t turn off so you had to chase them down because they would smash into the headstones and just keep going. Hornets just do NOT like it when you run over their house with a tornado of blades. Trouble is….there’s 50 of them armed with stingers and you’ve got …..like….bare hands flapping and yelling like your possessed. Not much of a fair fight. Eventually…… they would sting you. Just like Lisa did…….
I…..am….out ……of…. my…. league dude…….seriously out matched…..what AM I thinking??? I passed helpless on Tuesday…..After swinging at hornets we would get a cavalier burger, still deaf and shaking from the roar of mowers. Lisa’s house was of course on the OTHER side of town. Well…it wasn’t really her house…she was in for the summer from Florida and I would see her only as long as there was grass to mow and hornets to battle. Oh yeah dude …….I was helpless and I can’t take credit here.

You can take me anytime you like,
Ill be around if you think you might
love me baby,
and hold me tight

Her skin….her hair….. her EYES…..that body..…..that walk…..7nth grade???? WHAT??? …. You have GOT to be kidding me…are you sure????........dude I peddled FAST to get there…..I didn’t EVEN know who Marlin Brando was but I bet could peddle faster than he could and I did my best to act like I was in…….like…….the 9th grade.

Im over my head,
But it sure feels nice.

We would swim in the pool or go down to the lake……hold hands….never an unkind word or impure thought…….just ……..clean ……..love that would end with the season.
I saw her a few years later….she came back to visit……and if I was outclassed in 7th grade by my senior year I was out manned and out gunned too. I was losing weight cuz wrestling season was coming and I SERIOUSLY got tunnel vision when she gracefully stepped out of the car and glided over. A butterfly in slow motion. I think I rolled down the window. My body stuck to the seat. All I could manage was a weak “hey” through my braces like a ventriloquist on dope. I don’t EVEN remember saying goodbye …..and she was gone.
Bring it………bring those butterflies because I am done with hornets…..and I still kinda like mowing the lawn and hey….…it beats shoveling snow!!!

3 comments:

Kimberly said...

Not one impure thought & you were 14? Come on...

f1trey said...

hey ...I was a virgin till 18....yeah....needed to reveal that.....I am a lifetime certified card carrying goob club member. If I did have those thoughts I dont remember it that way.....and I know I never acted on anything....but trust me I had impure thoughts...just not when we were together.....

Curious said...

haha...presh. 14 is adorable. and shoveling snow sucks.