whatcha ona bout girl??

whatcha ona bout girl??
A retrospective on the inner workings of love, flying pancakes, mensa disasters, dandelion cookies, number bending, super salt, bubblegum oysters, chicken spit, crystal kidneys, guerilla carrots, polychromatic tofu, paraphysics, tender vigilanties, black sand, phillastine placebos, wood soup, buttered shuttlecocks, apostrophe training, fish whips, bleeding speed, plastic fantastic lobster telephones, venus drug rehab, clowns on fire, kiosks on a leash, marshmello overcoats, bottled light, fried blood, unbridled hyperthyroidism, folding wine, amygdula tickling, fainting in coils, hamburgers for the apocalypse, plastic memes, and conjugal fritters.....well...the love parts true

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Playboy, curves, and the new math


Ok……so…… math didn’t come easy at first….but it’s not my fault!!! Well……maybe it is. Dude…I had Miss LineBerry for math in seventh grade. Miss LineBerry was like …THE….most well endowed woman in three counties….The first day of class I looked over at a buddy of mine and I could see the fear in his eyes. I know he saw desperation in mine. How could you possibly expect us to focus on Math?? Math???? Oh dude…this is NOT going to be good for anybody. Oh sure the girls in the class will do fine. I was never late for class…I just ..….couldnt…… pay attention. Next year I had Mrs. Kiker……All 87 pounds of her. Whew…… Now I cant take credit here.

The student bodys got a bad reputation.
What they need is adult education

That’s a hard time for a boy. All your girl friends to that point had just been stick figures and all of the sudden…..we got curves…hey…..we got motion…HEY….4 dimensional motion!!!! HEY GLYNN!!!! DID YOU SEE THAT???? WHO WAS THAT????THAT’S TERESA?????NO WAY!!! Another pained look settled in….Till that point the sears catalog bra section was the only temptation around. Well…that’s not completely true……
I looked at the on ramp to the interstate and down I went. Trust me ……..peddling fast on the interstate doesn’t make you look any less out of place. I had to go just one exit to get to that little store that sold playboy magazines. Just 1 exit……….1………..exit………..45 minutes later…….. Im there. Safe. I park the bike and go in. It ONLY took about another 45 minutes to get my nerve up. So Im picking up candy bars…Im picking up bubblegum cards…..Im walking around…..finally the store is empty and I grab one and hustle to the counter. OH MY GOD SOMEBODY JUST WALKED IN!!!!!!......omanomanomanoman……put it in the bag! PUT IT IN THE BAG!!!....I dash out of the store….the last minute of my life a black tornado swimming under water.
I peddle home. My dad finds it hidden in my comic books about two weeks later…….busted……lesson learned….

But you want a little night school.
Maybe some of it will rub off on you.

Bring it……bring what youve learned…….Being hot for teacher is one thing….but playing with fire isnt the best idea. I do my best to learn from my past. Girls always say guys think with their $%*^&$.......well……it got me through high school. I think all the girls wanted to be in Mr Harmons class anyway. I just don’t understand why………

15 comments:

"Seattle" Heather said...

LOL thats cute! Boys will be boys.
Hey Trey you should up the print size on your blog...you're making me squint...that's going to be bad for my eyes!

f1trey said...

Young Miss Heather- I didnt know that...I will see what I can do! PS youre too young to squint....... hehehe

Violet said...

"That's a hard time for a boy."

*snort* hee hee hee

Sometimes I still have the mentality of a junior high kid!

We got a new band director between my junior & senior year. I'd been told how cute and young he was but hadn't seen him. When I did, I said, "that's Mr. Mahhhhhh-hhh-honey?" More girls signed up for marching band that year than ever before...

f1trey said...

@violet- LOL I didnt realize what I said until you pointed it out! yeah that time is funny...one moment your riding bikes together or sleigh riding and ......and...then theres stuff happenin.....guys have a hard time concentrating at all...and you want us to memorize the quadratic equation????

"Seattle" Heather said...

Violet I laughed at that too. HA ha.

Trey I didn't get your latest comment on my Blog...are you reading the entire thing? :) I'm touched!

f1trey said...

well..lowers head...yeah...crinkles nose......

"Seattle" Heather said...

Well...I'm happy to have another 'stalker'...er fan ha ha ... read away...that's why its there! Enjoy or hate! What ever. Have a good day! I'm off for my afternoon walk!

ViolentLove said...

your stories... :)


i cant wait for the new stories, that's gonna be fun!

:D

f1trey said...

@ Heather- the sea ray awaits......
@violent- blushing im trying to keep it PG....hehehehe

"Seattle" Heather said...

sea ray awaits? (scratching head) hmmmm
Are you talking about the animal or the boat! LOL oh wait that's a Sting ray...oh my gosh. You must own a Sea Ray boat! Ta da! I'm really not a blonde. LOL

f1trey said...

@Heather- I was laughing because you posted something about meeting some guy that offered to take you on his boat ( .....I think) ..... the sea ray is a 390. (...Im sure)

Kimberly said...

Men do think with their dicks...it is undeniable.

f1trey said...

Awwww...you said I think....das good ya? ....

April said...

I was the one with curves when the others were still stick figures. By 7th grade I was wearing C cups and D's by 8th. In 5th grade I wore an A cup bra and NO ONE was wearing bra's in 5th grade but me and the teachers. It was embarrassing being the tomboy that I was. So, I would put my hands behind my back and snap my bra strap and try to make the boys guess what I had behind my back. They NEVER figured it out and it drove them crazy. hee hee.

They sold you a Playboy? How old were you? Either way, that's hilarious. All of that and you still got busted. =(

f1trey said...

@April- so it WAS you that tortured all those guys! LOL sorry darlin....Yeah I should have told more about getting caught...i lost the payment book for my paper route and my dad offered to help me look for it...no no no dad...ill find it...no let me help...NO DAD I GOT IT.....so were looking around the room and im sweating as he looks through stuf...the closer he gets to my comic books I start freaking.....finally i just tell its in there......he didnt give it back to me!!!!