whatcha ona bout girl??

whatcha ona bout girl??
A retrospective on the inner workings of love, flying pancakes, mensa disasters, dandelion cookies, number bending, super salt, bubblegum oysters, chicken spit, crystal kidneys, guerilla carrots, polychromatic tofu, paraphysics, tender vigilanties, black sand, phillastine placebos, wood soup, buttered shuttlecocks, apostrophe training, fish whips, bleeding speed, plastic fantastic lobster telephones, venus drug rehab, clowns on fire, kiosks on a leash, marshmello overcoats, bottled light, fried blood, unbridled hyperthyroidism, folding wine, amygdula tickling, fainting in coils, hamburgers for the apocalypse, plastic memes, and conjugal fritters.....well...the love parts true

Thursday, August 6, 2009

control, Sodini, and south of the Border


Im kinda ……..sorta……...fraid of heights. I mean………I think it’s a realistic fear. Totally justified. You hang me off the Empire state building by my foot and I WILL scream like a girl. When I get on a ferris wheel I kinda slump down all stiff and stare at nothing and go “aha…haha…..aha” …weeeee ………. isn’t this fun??…aha loss of sphincter control…..
Im sure people like being in control. As a man Im going to tell you that being in control is something that boys are taught to develop. Take control of your finances. Take control of your job. Take control of your life. Control the sale, the opposing player, the car, your emotions, more more more. Be aggressive. A lazy hunter has an empty stomach. Are you with me?
Some of the same qualities that a man has to have in order to be successful are the same qualities that women like and hate at the same time. “hes controlling” “hes a control freak” Theres a lesson here somewhere.
(Some) girls marry guys in law enforcement (or the military) thinking “yeah that’s a good choice”. What? Hes controlling? Nooo!!!!! What the #^$%^&* did you think he was going to be? Let me wear that shoe for a minute…. Im marrying a prostitute cuz…..she has to be good in bed….yeah…this going to be the best idea EVER.
Men get frustrated if you take away their control. Pissed off even. Lose control over your work, body, finances, life and yes family and you end up with tragedies like Sodini. A good man is IN control. Not controlling. That’s when a woman feels safe and secure. I had a guy use the argument that there is only one keel to a ship. I told him not on a catamaran……he shut up. Relationships are a partnership (Duh). Some men just can’t switch from the sword they use at work to the butter knife they’re supposed to use at home. Does that make sense? Be careful what you start when you pull out your sword.
My buddy and I went to south of the border and up the elevator to the top of the sombrero. I look up. Its high enough for me. The ground feels good and then ……….the glass elevator takes off. “aha…haha…..aha” …weeeee ………. isn’t this fun??......We get to the top and I start walking around like a drunk cat on whiskey. But you know……loss of control was worth it and my fear of heights didn’t stop me from enjoying the view. You might like it up there too.

5 comments:

Violet said...

I have learned an awful lot about what happens to a man when he loses control of his life and work this past year. Fortunately, nothing like Sodini, but it has taken a huge toll on someone dear to me...and on our relationship.

I like the sword/butter knife analogy, it's very true.

Anonymous said...

I can never follow you here.

I wonder, something like, if you have true control over yourself, maybe control over stuff besides your self gets less important? I wonder, too, whether all this need for control has anything to do with lack of trust, that has something to do with lack of respect? Women commonly aren't trusted to be ready to handle control... Perceive that the man claims more control than he really has and talk to me about devastated egos... What is "safe" supposed to feel like, especially if it's connected to someone else being in control?

I'm only afraid of man-made heights: overpasses; ledges; elevators. Cliffs are fine. What does that say about me and trust? :) (I HAVE jay-walked a freeway to avoid an overpass... Control...)

me said...

@violet Thanks....im sorry to hear thatt about your friend...remember men identify themselves through their work..if that goes south then a man loses his identity....very frustrating

Kimberly said...

Does a cat drunk from whiskey act differen than a cat drunk fro vodka?

me said...

@ kimberly Oh definitely.....Vodka makes her mean. LOL